January 22, 2009

Destined To Be Alone?

"Mac,pls meet me this Saturday,I'll give you my wedding invitation.Miss yah!

I received this text earlier and I don't know who it came from,I called the number and found out its my good friend Mel! OMG I didn't know that she's home already.FYI,she's working at Saudi Arabia as a therapist,if you noticed most therapist are working in the middle east,well,I think we are so in demand in that part of the world,but I don't want to work at Saudi hehe I preferred country's that are more open and less strict that's why I choose Qatar or Dubai.

Going back to my story,Mel is one of my closest friends way back my college days.There's actually six of us in the group,and come to think of it,Kat got married 2years ago,then Jason and grace last year and now Mel...they are all finding their own happiness and settling down building their own family...this suddenly hit me.I kinda felt sad in a way,that I'm still single...I'm happy for them of course but,what about me?

I have relationships in the past,yes,but still I'm single.When is the time I'm going to settle down too?When will the time comes that I am the one whose going to text and call my friends ,not the wedding of course and say this:"hey,I'm settling down with this amazing guy that loves me so much,we found our own place and I'd like all of us to have dinner" or we could do our own wedding vows even if its not legal in this country,its just a piece of paper anyway,all that matters is what we have and what we feel with each other.I'd like that thought...

But are we,gay or bi or whatever we call ourselves now destined to be alone?That we cannot have what straight people have? That someone to build a future with for a long time? Are we prepared to grow old alone? This fears me...I guess this is the fears of all mothers or parents who loves their son's so much who came out to them...

This is the fear of my mother...

I love you MOM.I'll be alright.Who knows.I might find my forever

...and you'll gain another son

...and you will love him too.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

it is a choice actually. if you decide to be alone but happy, let it be.