Showing posts with label boyfriends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boyfriends. Show all posts

February 17, 2015

PebreroKatorse.



Naalimpungatan ako sa tunog ng bumukas na pinto sa kwarto ko, madilim ang paligid at hindi ko alam kung anong oras na. Basta nahiga ako kaninang umaga ng alas diyes dahil from night shift ako.

Kahit hindi pa fully dilat ang mata ko alam ko na kung sino ang nag mamay ari ng aninong lumalakad sa room ko.

Hanggang sa lumundo ang kabilang gilid ng kama ko, nagdilat akong muli ng mata at nakita ko si Jojo.

"hi mahal..." pabulong niyang sabi.

"anong oras na ba?" inaantok pang tanong ko.

"Alas singko na mahal ko.." sagot niya sabay yakap mula sa likod ko at naghanda para matulog sa tabi ko.

Ganito gawain niya. Mula sa work, didiretso sa bahay ko dahil may sarili na din siyang susi na ayaw na niyang isoli sa kin. LOL

Halos one week na siya na sa unit ko nauwi mula nun bumalik ako galing Amerika. (na kwento ko sa inyo soon hihihi)

Nauna pa siyang naghilik kesa sa akin. Napakagaling di ba? parang sasakyan pa namang ayaw mag start ang hilik niya. Grrrr. Buti nalang may nadiskubre akong super effective na ear plugs mula sa Daizo, kaya nakakatulog na ko kahit naghihilik siya. Dati kasi kelangan ko pa siya patulugin sa inflatable bed.

Madali na din ako nakatulog dahil sa puyat sa shift ko. Hanggang gisingin kami ng alarm clock nun alas diyes ng gabi. Kehaba pala ng naitulog namin. Jusme. 12hrs ata ang tulog ko. Bawing bawi. Off ko din kasi today.

Yumakap at sumubsob pa si Jojo sa kili kili ko imbes na bumangon, habit na niya yun. Gigil siya sa kili kili ko. LOL weird noh?

Ayaw pa niyang bumangon at todo higpit lalo ang yakap sa kin. Nagpipilit na ko kumawala mula sa katawan niya. Gutom na kasi ako. Huli kong kain ay alas otso ata ng umaga . E alas diyes na ng gabi. Kamusta naman yun.

At last ay nakatakas ako mula sa kanya kaya dali dali na akong bumangon at nagbukas ng ilaw. "bumangon ka na oy" sabi ko pa bago ako tumungo sa banyo para mag mumug at hilamos.

Paglabas ko ng banyo:

"Happy Valentines Mahal ko!!!!" salubong niyang greetings sa akin. May dala dala siyang bouquet of flowers na iniaabot sa akin.

Nabigla ako. Nawala tuloy ang aantok antok ko pang diwa. Pagkatapos ay napalitan ng saya. Muntik na ko mapaluha. Hahaha

First time may mag bigay ng bulaklak kasi sa akin. Jusme. Gurl na gurl naman peg ko. chosssss

I feel so special and loved.

Speechless ako at first. Then kinuha ko ang flowers at hinalikan niya ako sa labi.



"happy valentines day mahal ko. Happy ka?" tanong niya habang yakap yakap ako ng mahigpit.

"kow sana pagkain nalang dala mo!" biro ko pa hehe "happy valentine's day din Mahal".

"meron kaya akong dalang KFC chicken hihihihi" ganting sagot niya at meron nga pala talagang manok na dala si Mokong paglingon ko sa table.

Kahit hindi kami nakapag date sa labas dahil pareho kaming antukin ay OK na din na pinagsasaluhan namin ang simpleng food na dala niya. Ang pinaimportante ay magkasama namin itong sinecelebrate. Kahit gano pa kapayak at san man kami andun.

*wink*


December 17, 2014

Kasi Mahal Ko E...



Naalimpungatan ako sa pagpasok at paglabas niya ng room ko....Busy pala siya sa pagluluto ng lechon kawali sa kusina.

Napabuntunghininga ako.

Boyfriend kong masipag.

Boyfriend kong saksakan ng cheesy.

Boyfriend kong makulet.

Sobra. Pasaway.

Pero wala magagawa.

kasi mahal ko e...

My plus one at our christmas party hehe. 
Kaka celebrate lang namin ng ika limang buwan namin together. Infairness to me ha tumatagal kami. Mukhang magki-christmas ako na may Jowa! achievement toh! sabi nga ng mga friends kong mahadera.

Ang boyfriend kong pasaway na si Jojo.

ay kailangan pang ipagtabuyan para lang umuwi  sa bahay nila. Magka iba kasi kami ng accommodation. Pero dahil deads na deads siya sa akin aba'y halos mag live in na kami. Charrrr

Kaloka!

"Gusto mo ba bang masuspend or materminate ako sa work pag nalaman na nagpapatulog ako ng hindi empleyado ng hospital dito?" Yan ang panakot ko sa kanya pag ayaw pa niya umuwi.

Uuwi nga siya pero may kasama namang maktol. Lol. parang bata lang si mokong. Pero totoo naman yun sinabi ko. Kasi bawal naman talaga yun andito siya sa building ng company namin. Lalo na pag may nagsumbong, buti nalang mababait housemates ko at kasundo niya. Binibigyan niya kasi minsan ng luto niyang meryenda!

Kaya sabi ko dapat uuwi-uwi din siya. Hindi pwdeng tuloy tuloy na andito siya. Dapat may pahinga ganyan para di naman obvious di ba.

Masaya din naman na lagi kami magkasama dahil asikasong asikaso niya ako. Sa lahat ng nakarelasyon ko siya lang ang super ganito sa akin. Ang sarap lang pala ng lagi  inaalagaan at minamahal. Hihihi

At ito ang pinaka bet ko sa pagkakaroon ng boyfriend yun kahit san ko gusto pumunta e may makakasama ako! Kung san ako naroon andun din ang jowawiz ko. Lagi ka pang may kayakap sa gabi!

ito yung isa sa pasalubong ko sa knya from London, para matching charms kami pwde gawing pendant.

"Ano gusto mo ulam Mahal pag uwi mo?" Yan malimit niya tanong. Ang sipag kasi magluto kaya wala ako maireklamo kaya eto ang taba taba na namin pareho!

Kaya masarap ding nasa bahay ko siya. At kesarap naman niya yumakap sa gabi pag tutulog kami. Higpit na higpit. Fave namin ang spooning. hihihi. Pero nagagalit ako pag lagi nakatusok sa likod ko etits niya. Nakakailang kaya! Kaya naglalagay na siya ng unan mula nun!

Nakakatuwa lang na halos pareho na kami pumorma sa pananamit ng di namin namamalayan. At minsan pag may gusto ako damit bibili din siya na ibang kulay naman. Naisama ko na din siya recently sa aming department's christmas party last week. Kaya parang its official na naipakilala ko na siya sa mundo ko as my partner.

Uuwi nga siya sa bahay nila ng mga ilang araw at pagtapos ay uuwi na naman sa bahay ko. Pinakamatagal na ang 3 days! Kaloka.

Nawawalan tuloy ako ng Me-Time mag porn hahaha masarap din kaya mag mariang palad paminsan minsan noh.

Mahilig siya mag alibi at gumawa ng kung ano anong eksena para lang makitulog sa bahay ko. Minsan buking ko naman siya. Natatawa nalang siya pag inookray ko.

"mahal naman ehhhh..." ganyan linya niya na parang batang kulang nalang gumulong sa sahig pag ayaw ko pumayag.

Pero itong alibi niya this week ang pinaka matindi sa lahat! Wala akong kalaban laban!
Pang Oscar award ang script!

"Mahal, may bulutong  yun housemate ko. Hindi pa ko nagkakabulutong. Pano pag nahawa ako mahal...kaya makikitulog ako sa bahay mo ha?"

Napapailing nalang ako na kinantiyawan siya. Ano pang laban ko sa bulutong diba? Lol

Natural wala na naman akong nagawa. Napapailing nalang ako. Ano pa nga bang magagawa ko e Mahal ko e kaya keri na....


August 19, 2014

Inflatable



Naaliw lang ako pagmasdan ang friend kong si Fatima habang kasabay maglakad ang boyfriend kong si Jojo. Todo kwentuhan pa ang mga bruha. Nasa mall kasi kami kasama pa ang isang kaibigan pa at naisipang mag ice cream sa Haagen-Daaz. Nakahawak ang kamay niya sa braso ni Jojo na parang siya ang Jowa!! kalurks lang.

Don't get me wrong ha hindi ako nagseselos dahil sure akong beking beki ang hubby ko at deads na deads siya sa akin. LOL. I just find it cute na my boyfriend and my friends get along very well. Minsan natatakot lang ako na baka masyado silang maging close tapos bigla kaming mag break ni Jojo soon. ahaha na wag naman sana *knock on wood*.

Pero kilala ko kasi sarili ko. May topak ako. Moody ako. Madali ako mainip. Ngayon happy ako the next minute buwisit na. LOL. And sana magtagal nga kami ni Jojo, siya lang ang naging karelasyon ko na ganito kaasikaso. Botong boto pa ang lahat sa kanya for me and wala na ako mahihiling pa for a boyfriend :-)

At alam ko na kung bakit so far so good kami ni Jojo. Kapag sinusumpong ako ng toyo ko hindi niya ko pinapatulan. Or kapag nag aaway kami. Yayakap lang siya ng mahigpit hanggang sa di ako makawala sa laki ba naman niya haha. After ko kumalma saka lang namin mapapag usapan ng maayos ang issue.

Sipag pa niya sa bahay ko hihi lalo na sa lutuan wala siyang reklamo. Haist ako na. Ganda ko talaga. Charot!

Tinulungan niya ako sa pagpapabagahe ko ng box na ipapa air freight ko. Mula pamimili nun mga ilalaman hanggang sa pagbabalot hanggang sa pagbubuhat pababa ng building sa lobby kineri niya lahat. Sana dumating yang balikbayan box ko in time , baka mamaya nasa pinas at nakabalik na ko ng dowha e nganga pa din!




at tignan nyo naman ang finish product. Kinarir niya yan haha ang OC lang!

Siya lang din ang pormal kong ipinakilala sa mga kaibigan ko. Would you believe na fb friends pa sila ng sis ko at lagi sila magkachat!



Kaya sa ngayon wala na ako mahihiling pa sa bagong boyfie na itetch. Madalas din siya mag sleep over sa bahay. At dun kami nagkaka problema. Slight..

Sanay kasi ako sa aking personal space. Lalo na ang kama. Sanay akong malaki space ko. Nakakaikot ng malaya.

E ang jowawiz e mahilig yumakap sa gabi. Dumantay. Oo masarap makipag cuddle. I enjoyed it. Spooning. as in. Paborito ko yan.

wala siya kamalay malay natutweet ko na siya nitong mga oras na toh. LOL

Pero pag seryosohang tulog na lalo't puyat ako from my shift. Nako yan na. Hindi na ko makatulog ng maayos. Habang todo hilik si boyfie sa likod ng tenga ko. Kalurks!

At gusto pa niyan ha nakahawak sa utong ko habang natutulog! ang weirrrrrrd!

Kaya naman napag desisyunan kong ibili siya ng inflatable bed. Hihihi. Naalala ko pa na todo awat siya at naggagalit-galitan nun natingin kami ng bibilhing size and color. Di na daw kelangan. Tawanan pa kami kasi para kaming mga bata na kukunin ko tapos hahablutin niya sa akin at ibabalik sa kinunan ko.



At sa huli wala naman siya nagawa. Ako nanalo. LOL


Ang usapan:

2 hours pwde siya tabi sa akin sa kama. Pwede lahat. Lahat ng kalokohan niya sa pagtulog kekerihin ko. Pero after that time. Bababa na siya sa bed niya sa sahig. Hihihi. Umagree naman siya and we signed the deal by a kiss.

The other day namin inumpisahan ang deal. Nun pinababa ko siya sumunod naman. wala reklamo antok na antok pa e. Kala ko nga sisingaw pa yun hangin ng bed ang laking tao at kebigat ba naman ni mokong!

Nakikiramdam ako ng ilang minuto if magrereklamo na di siya makatulog. Pero aba! ayun wala pa 5minutes harok ang tumbong paghilik! LOL

Kaya sa lalakeng mahal na mahal ako, sana di ka mabagok or maalis ang helmet mo soon dahil super you're making me happy. Charot!

October 22, 2012

Gabi Ng Nakaraan



Heto nga, nakahiga na siya sa kama ko. Nakatagilid. Kita ang makinis na legs. Kita ko ang kurba ng balakang.

Nilibugan ako...

chos!

Naisipan ko nalang mag browse ng blogs. Inabot din ako ng ilang oras. Tuwing maalimpungatan siya sa pagtulog nakikita kong naiinis siya. Parang gusto mahiga na ko at mag sex na kami! LOL (inisip ko lang yun, di ko sure haha)

Finally, naisipan kong matulog na din. Nakatihaya ako sa kama. Mulagat. Nakatitig sa kisameng madilim. Masikip. Single bed lang kasi yun. Pero that's the idea e, yun masikip. Alam na!!! Nakatagilid pa din siya sa kin. Nakailang ikot ikot ako sa kama. Di ako mapakali. Kelangan akitin ko to'ng gagong to! LOL

Nilakasan ko ang loob ko at tumagilid din ako paharap sa knya.

Iniyakap ko yun kamay ko sa tagiliran nya.

Nakiramdam ako.

Walang reaksyon.

Dinikit ko pa lalo ang katawan ko sa likod nya. Wala pa din reaksyon.


Deadma.


Nilagyan ko ng unan ang sa may parte ng etits ko kasi kakahiya naman na maramdaman nya na matigas na matigas na yun "ano" ko. haha! Baka isipin nya pervert ako!


Dikit na dikit na ko sa knya.

Hmm, napangiti ako. Napayag si mokong. Nun last uwi ko, Dati dati kung itulak tulak nya ko e. Iniyakap ko pa ng mabuti ang braso ko sa katawan nya.

Iginapang ko pa ang aking mga kamay...

may hinahanap...

madali ko naman natagpuan.

Ang malambot nyang kamay.


Inihulma ko ang aking mga daliri sa knyang mga daliri...

Naramdaman kong pinisil nya at hinigpitan ang pagkakawak sa mga daliri kong nagpilit mangahas...

Sa kakaibang saya ko nakalimutan ko na ang maka-mundo kong balak. Napalitan nalang ng pagkalma ng kalooban. Ng excitement ng puso.



Hanggang sa makatulog na kami pareho sa ganu'ng posisyon.




--excerpt from my post: A Good Night Sleep (July,2011)

July 14, 2011

A Good Night Sleep


"Mac, san ako matutulog?" tanong ni Brian nun silipin nya yun room at wala na yun kutson na nilatag ko last year nun dito din siya natulog. Bakasyon ko din yun. Hinatid nya ko sa airport with my family.

"Wala na yun e, sira na. At saka may daga dyan sa sahig akong nakita. Mamaya gapangan ka pa, gusto mo???!" depensa ko. Muntik na ko mapatawa sa inimbento kong daga. Hindi na siya umimik at tuluyan ng pumasok sa kwarto para matulog.

Nasa mall ako kanina para magpa-facial treatment nun tumawag siya at sinabing on the way na daw siya to visit me bago ako lumipad pabalik ng middle east. Saturday ngayon at sa wednesday na flight ko. Nagtatampo ako sa knya kasi tagal ko ng inaantay na bisitahin nya ko. Ngayon lang naisipan ng hayop. LOL

Sinagot ko na din facial nya, pagkatapos, kumain kami ng dinner. Nun una medyo naiilang pa kami, halos wala mapag usapan, pero eventually, naging at ease na ulit kami sa isa't isa kaya nagkukulitan na ulet.

Pahapyaw nyang nabanggit na nakipag break na siya sa current bf nya. Kunyari di ko narinig. Tuloy lang ako sa pag kwento. Sa isip isip ko, this is getting better and better. At least kung mag sex man kami di kami magi-guilty! (sabi ng dimonyo sa isip ko sabay ngiti!LOL)

Pagdating sa bahay, malugod naman siya kinamusta ng pamilya ko. Bakit daw ngayon lang siya ulet dumalaw blah-blah-blah.

"See love na love pa din ako ni Tatay at ni ate..." bulong nya nun nanonood kami ng TV.

"Oo nah! ikaw na!"

me and brian at enchanted kingdom

More than three years na nun mag break up kami ni Brian. Siya ang pinakamatagal kong nakarelasyon. 19 years old palang ata siya nun haha. Pero nanatili kaming magkaibigan sa kabila ng lahat. At siya lang din ang nakasundo ng sister ko ever.

Heto nga, nakahiga na siya sa kama ko. Nakatagilid. Kita ang makinis na legs. Kita ko ang kurba ng balakang.

Nilibugan ako...

chos!

Naisipan ko nalang mag browse ng blogs. Inabot din ako ng ilang oras. Tuwing maalimpungatan siya sa pagtulog nakikita kong naiinis siya. Parang gusto mahiga na ko at mag sex na kami! LOL (inisip ko lang yun, di ko sure haha)

Finally, naisipan kong matulog na din. Nakatihaya ako sa kama. Mulagat. Nakatitig sa kisameng madilim. Masikip. Single bed lang kasi yun. Pero that's the idea e, yun masikip. Alam na!!! Nakatagilid pa din siya sa kin. Nakailang ikot ikot ako sa kama. Di ako mapakali. Kelangan akitin ko to'ng gagong to! LOL

Nilakasan ko ang loob ko at tumagilid din ako paharap sa knya.

Iniyakap ko yun kamay ko sa tagiliran nya.

Nakiramdam ako.

Walang reaksyon.

Dinikit ko pa lalo ang katawan ko sa likod nya. Wala pa din reaksyon.


Deadma.


Nilagyan ko ng unan ang sa may parte ng etits ko kasi kakahiya naman na maramdaman nya na matigas na matigas na yun "ano" ko. haha! Baka isipin nya pervert ako!


Dikit na dikit na ko sa knya.

Hmm, napangiti ako. Napayag si mokong. Nun last uwi ko, Dati dati kung itulak tulak nya ko e. Iniyakap ko pa ng mabuti ang braso ko sa katawan nya.

Iginapang ko pa ang aking mga kamay...

may hinahanap...

madali ko naman natagpuan.

Ang malambot nyang kamay.


Inihulma ko ang aking mga daliri sa knyang mga daliri...

Naramdaman kong pinisil nya at hinigpitan ang pagkakawak sa mga daliri kong nagpilit mangahas...

Sa kakaibang saya ko nakalimutan ko na ang maka-mundo kong balak. Napalitan nalang ng pagkalma ng kalooban. Ng excitement ng puso.



Hanggang sa makatulog na kami pareho sa ganu'ng posisyon.





(Click HERE for all related posts about Brian)

October 15, 2010

Bigger Love?


I'm in love.

I know you all knew that already.
I'm here in Doha, he's in Manila.
But I'm having this thoughts about love.

About Clayton's love for me.

I think I love him more than he loves me back.

Do you get me? is this suppose to be an issue with boyfriends?
Does it matter if the other loves more?

I told myself its silly.

But somehow it gets to me.

I'm the type of person who would like to text my boyfriend. No matter how busy I am, I find time. I love some conversation over text, on free time, like how his day was, what's he doing, or about anything...

But, Clayton don't do that.

I told him how I felt about it. We are on LDR and communication is all I have of him. That's all we could do. No holding hands. No kissing. No love making. All we have is communication.

He said I'm sorry and promised to be my text mate LOL!

And he did.
But why should I need to tell him what he needs to do? he supposed to know that right?

I love chatting with him online during our offs. I'm excited all the time. As if I never run out of topic to talk about. Its like i never want the day to end chatting with him.

Until he would say, Mac, I need to go blah-blah-blah-reasons. I mean we only chat for an hour or two. Its just disappointing you know, can't he feel the same? that he wanted to chat with me as long as it takes? Why am I the only one who have that intention? but I tried to understand. I'm suppose to understand. So I just shook it off.

But it gets to me sometimes.

I call.
Yeah, I called on his phone. But sometimes, its nice if the call comes from him, right?

I don't know, but whenever I opened my face book, its like a routine to check his profile page, his shout-outs, his update status, his latest pic uploads.

But its been days before he could check mine. Sometimes I have to tell him that I have a new uploads or whatever, that's the only time he would check it.

It would be nice if he does, right?

Like tonight. Its 6am in Manila. I immediately took my cel and typed these messages:

Nakita ko FB mo kanina, pero malamang di mo pa din nakikita yun mga lumang pictures namin nung bata pa kami! antagal na nun dun di mo man lang masilip! Letse!

Nakita ko tanga! Kasama mo sis mo. Pasko yun at nasa bahay kayo ng tita mo!!!!


Ay nakita mo ba?bah malay ko ba hahaha


Ang tanga mo e kung maka-letse ka... WAGAS! na-i-stress ako sayo kakamulat ko lang. Uggghs!!!

Ok fine! I might be wrong with that one! LOL. but, what I'm trying to say is...

ah, eh, whatever!

Anyway, why am I the only one does those things?
I think about him most of the time, like whats he doing at this moment...

Does it means I love him more than he loves me?

I know these are all simple and petty things, I know. Clayton loves me in his own way. I could sense it. But these little things matters too.

What do you think?
Am I just being silly and i should slap my face for being pathetic?LOL

Or my love for him is bigger than his to me?
If its the case, should I be worried?

Or you think he don't love me at all?

That would be awful!Arrrrghhh!

September 23, 2010

Uyyy, Surviving!

Amazing person.

Incredible lover.

Fashion Icon.

Party girl.

Southern Cutie.

But enough about me! LOL

I'm here to greet my baby-baby...

Its our second month together
(well, ugh, not together-together, since he's there, and I'm here LOL)

But we're surviving yey! I'm looking forward to our third month.

Love yah Clayton!

Halika na baby-baby-ko pagsaluhan na natin ang ulam na si Luis Alandy. Extra rice?LOL

September 16, 2010

Boyfriends Come and Go...


If you're a follower of my blog you could have figured out by now that I'm no good with keeping my relationships longer! I sometimes thought, I'm such a failure with this! Grrrrrr! No matter how I badly wanted to have a long lasting relationship...It all ends to one thing. Break up.

When I sensed that its about to end, I took the first move to end it. I don't know, maybe I'm afraid to hear it from them so, I would gladly take the initiative to end it myself.

My last was a disaster! I couldn't believe I entered that one in the first place LOL! I regret that I have been so trusting...yun lang!

Too many boyfriends have come and go...all started well and fun, but eventually, love fades...all what's left was pain and regret. Or have I ever found love?

When someone asked how many did you have? I always find shame in answering them, I'm not proud of collecting boyfriends contrary to what others believe. Because its a proof of my failure.

Its my long time dream to have a permanent guy on my side...someone who I could tell stories, someone I could share how my day was...someone who could comfort me and say its all right Mac. Eventually live on one house for us to stay with till we grow old together.

We could all agree that finding the right guy is not as easy as buying something at the store. It takes time. Its takes too much emotions. Rejections and heartaches. Many have been searching for that someone. And they're still looking.

On my case I have found and lost them. Too many times. Maybe its my fault or them. I don't know. But what I do know, I could have done something. I could have fight for it. I could have been patient. So many could have beens...

So now, with Clayton. Maybe I'm a matured Mac this time. Tested by time. Tested by experience, good and bad. I'm tired of looking for that special someone and let them slipped off my finger. This time I won't take it so easy. For love is patient, for love is sacrifice (kaya jakol nalang muna LOL), and for love is trusting.

I hope we could make it. I have a four month period most of the time. I'm determined to make it at least five this time! Kidding!

Clayton, good luck to us. Let's make it work. Lets make a love story, a love story that is so happy, a little complicated, less sacrifices but full of love. Here's a toast for our forever...

I love you Clayton, gaya nga ng sabi mo last time: Mac-ko, mahal kita, trust me on that, mahal kita na singlakas ni bagyong Glenda. Napatawa mo 'ko sa kakornihan mo. Nasabi ko nalang sa sarili mo, bumanat na naman ang asawa kong abnoy! LOL



This is me cam-whoring at the hospital while at work LOL!

July 12, 2010

Lovers At The Beach...

Boracay moment with EDC...

We've spent 3 days and 2 nights with my sister,nephew and a friend

It was a lot of fun, the activities, the foods, and the scenery

A bonding time for both of us, a time to know more about each other

We had our fun and we also had our share of bad times.

I will never forget that argument we had there. It was interesting.

Too many differences. Too many stuffs I cannot enumerate here.

And I will not also forget in that 5 days,

I never felt that I was desired at all.

Too bad.

I don't know, maybe its just a compatibility issue.

Maybe we are not meant to be lovers...

I'm confused now.

I will wait for a sign, maybe...something might come up and help me decide...

For now, I'll remove the ring, which is same as his, and put it in the box...

I'm gonna enjoy the rest of my vacation with my family and friends.

August 21, 2009

Who Am I To You?


We chat, we talk, we have dates, we go watch movies, things like lovers do...and oh, we love to kiss each other, except that we're not lovers, yet...confusing?haha. Well,guess what!me too!LOL

But I'm happy. I enjoy every minute of being with his company.

I don't wanna ask him,and he never ask me too. My friend told me to let it be,that i just go with the flow when I told her about it. So days have gone by that Idon't know what kind of relationship we have. Are we kissing-friends?or friends with benefits?or that I'm just a "fling"?

But out of nowhere,when we're chatting it slipped my finger and typed these words:who am I to you? and he said: its complicated. I was hurt.yeah I know,i shouldn't asked it.But I'm so stubborn. I don't like his answer,I could appreciate it if he said:yes we are friends or I wanna know you better.

By saying its complicated,its like telling me he got someone else back home,or he cant be in a relationship or something, or its a escape-pass from me!

So I stopped talking to him. When he went online I ignored him the first time, and he was waiting for my messages too. He broke 20 minutes of silence and said "whoa, you really are mad at me? he told me that he was just joking and that he's sorry that he hurt me with what he said." you know me, I'm crazy!I always joke around"

Mr.Italian answered the question: who am i to you?

"You are my new friend. And we will see what will happen. We just start a new relationship. I don't think we are boyfriends yet. But we are going to that direction...to become one...seems like one..."

Hmmm, not bad! I thought to myself.

"and besides you're the one who started kissing me!" he accused me

"OK i wont kiss you again!" I snapped

"why?(with a sad smiley)" he asked " if you don't, I will kill you LOL!" I smiled at his reply.I'm back to being fine again LOL!Everything is back to normal.

Yesterday, Iasked him if he want to come with me to the supermarket at the mall today. I'm not even sure if he will agree, since he have work,but he did. He picked me up at my flat and took me to the supermarket. I was holding his hand inside the car while he drive. If I let it go he will pick up my hand and hold it back...he drove with one hand.hehe

I was smiling and amused when I looked at him when we were inside the supermarket, he was pushing the cart while I pick the stuffs I need for a week's supply of food. I can't believe that this respectable guy while wearing his uniform, so tall, and so cute are here with me taking a break from work and pushing the grocery cart!hahaha

It just took us an hour to complete what I needed and he drove me home. He stayed at my room for another hour and I took the chance to "rape" him! Kidding! Well, he is a willing victim by the way!haha. He needed to come back to work since he only took a break to accompany me at the supermarket.

He said he will try to drop by before going home later.I said "OK,i guess I'm still awake during that time"

"Of course you will be awake, because you need to wait for me till I finish work" he said grinning.

Right now, I'm contented for what we have. I don't know when or where, but i am surely going to treasure every minute I spend with this Italian Guy.

May 13, 2009

All The Single Gay Guys...Put your Hands Up!

Do you believe the guy you are with now will be your partner till the end?

Or you knew you will be single from now on?


Why is it so hard to find a gay partner in this life? haha

That is the question I asked most of the time.I'm not that desperate to have one at this point, but think about it, its really hard!

Maybe a hook up was easy but someone who will love you.Nah!

I've been with a few serious relationships before,but still, we end up separated or hating each other. I don't wanna put here how many, but enough for me to look back and smile for some memories when I'm alone and feeling nostalgic hehe.

I even save some photos and videos of them on one special memory card and just insert it on my phone or computer when I feel like watching them, some videos are wholesome some are naughty! Like us kissing or goofing around the motel room and more haha. So if I misplace or lost that memory card it will be a complete scandal!

They said you don't go looking for love, it will find you.Just wait. But is this true? What if I turned 50 and gray and still waiting???LOL

Pao and Randall are so vocal on how they felt about me, but why cant I just like them too the way they like me?

Its ironic don't you think? You like someone and yet he don't like you, and there's some guys who likes you but you don't like them!Waaaaaa!

Being gay in this world is so complicated!

There's a lot of single gays out there and yet we still cant find the right one.

Maybe more singles than in a relationships.But why?

Maybe we're too choosy?

We set our standards so high that nobody qualifies?

Physical looks matters first before we get to know whats inside?

But I've seen some gay couple where the other one is cute and the other belongs to the average level.Some might think they are not a great match. I just thought to myself, maybe the average-looking guy is really special that the cute guy never minds whats on the outside of his partner.

I'm just thinking, now that I'm here in the Philippines were there are too many Filipino gays and still cant find the right guy what more if I'm in Qatar!!!!I might be single there for three years or more!

Well if that will be the case, I'll just focus on work and not think about it, maybe through that who knows there's someone might bumped into me unexpectedly and will be my love.

could be...

A patient of mine...

A doctor from my hospital...

Or a co-employee....

Or ambisyosa lang ako!LOL

December 31, 2008

2008...not my year!


I guess 2008 is not a good year for me.My relationship with Brian ended last May which truly hurt me most,Brian of all the boyfriends that I had was the one I loved most(second was Jason haha).We broke up cause he have to go home to their province after he graduated Nursing at manila and don't know when he will come back and he will be busy reviewing for the board exam and things got rough between us the next few months and on.

Then I decided to resign from work,paycheck doesn't support my needs anymore and the fare increased that added to my burden then.And that made me officially bum haha.So basically my mom is the one paying me for staying at home by giving me allowance monthly!I love yah mom!Mwah!

I applied for work abroad,at UAE,i did the interview,I passed and still waiting for the examination date.While waiting I applied for another agency and another and another....no word till now huhu.Our business is on the low side this past few months but slowly gaining income this December.Thank God!

July I met Jaireh and we became boyfriends,we only lasted for 2 months,I broke up with him because he's too boring.i thought I can get use to it.At November I met JL,we lasted for only a month,things don't go well with us.We decided to end it but we are still friends now we still text each other once in a while.Then I met Jo this December,but he holds the record of shortest relationship I had haha only 5 days so I think it doesn't count.He fell in the "fling category".He lied and he's inconsiderate, worst case ever!

Then I met Jo's friends Mike,we met and had a good time but seems not interested in having a boyfriend.So baddd..I like him so much i think i will be better with him.I never had a great time with a guy before that I only met for the first time,just him.I almost kissed him when we were walking.But what can I do,he's not into me but just friends...hmmmm 2008...not really my year.

But wait 2008 is the year I made my blog hehe.August.And people started reading my post.From a small number a day now I have more.So thank you very much guys!At least I have something good this 2008 after all!!!

P.S

I still have a lot of blessings this year though, a good health for me and my love ones and the food on the table,my family are together and i have great friends!

December 21, 2008

Date!Boyfriends!Happiness!


"Are you happy?"he said.And I replied "yes I am" and my battery turned low and die hehe .

Well guys my date went well if you may ask.I felt good today when i went out of the house to meet my date.No more wories,no nervousness and all I thought of is that we will be just fine and its all what happend! I changed my clothes twice and I sprayed my perfumes too many times that even my dog shaggy sneezed 3 times!

I saw him standing in the crowd when I arrived I was late due to heavy traffic and its funny that I kept on telling him last night that I hate latecomers! When we reached the mall.We went straight up to the cinema and look for the movie schedule we watched "The Day Earth Stood Still" starred keanu reeves and jenifer connely I dont like it by the way hehe.Lack special effects and the story was not too good.When its finished you will say to yourself "is it over yet?" or"what?its finished already?Just like that?"But before that we dined in at fastfood nearby (we dont have enough budget so we just settled there hehe) and we talked about anything,we laughed,we argued a bit and all.But I like it.I think I like him.No,I like him.

I asked him "are we boyfriends now?" and he said" yes,we're a couple" I just hugged and hold his hands and squeezed it some times through out the movie...when its so cold inside I feel like holding him forever,that time will stop right there and then and stay that way.But it never did,the lights turned on and people start standing...Oh well, the movie ended.But I wont let this night pass without kissing him,and when we reached this shaded hallway I pulled him closer to me and gave him a quickie!I mean a quick kiss!!!!At the back of the car going home I was hugging him closer to me thank God people at the back didnt noticed us hehe.Before separating we ate a light dinner at this chinese fastfood and I walk him through his side of the road untill he ride the jeep home.

"It seems its not enough..we chat at home at ym... till he said goodnight..."

October 1, 2008

Keep it Cool..


Its been three weeks now since me and my boyfriend broke up, I told to myself that its high time for me to take it cool, I mean have time to myself being alone for a while because I met Jaireh two months after me and Brian broke up, I wanna be alone for a long time I said to myself.

But here I am again on the gay chatrooms and websites chatting till my brains out..and before I knew it I was exchanging YM i.d and my cel numbers to guys that I enjoyed chatting at, that they wanna know me more,they said.And I was enjoying it,the constant chatting and texting, I cant even remember Jaireh..am a bad person?

I just hurt my last bf and now Im flirting with another one?and its not just one theres 3 of them! I mean not flirting literally..you know just cyber and text flirting,I only went on dates to those guys that I've been talking for about a week or two,to know if Im really sure to meet that person.

I havent met them yet,I only met one, and he's a fantastic guy, the date was fun,our conversation was spontaneous which is what I'm looking for in a partner,after our date we kept on communicating, I still need more time if I wanna ask the big question "can u be my partner?"hehe. Because I find it still early for that I wanna take my time, I dont wanna rush things like what happend between me and Jaireh before.

And I still kinda waiting for him to be a little thoughtful..its important for me...for me if you are not a little of that,it means you are not that concern for me.When I say thoughtful,its like texting me with what you doing,telling me you're not gonna be able to text me because you have to be away for a couple of hours,or that you will text me later so that I wont wait..something like that, little things that really matters.And if the guy cant be like that,well, I'll rather find another.


(Image are taken from yahoo.com)

September 16, 2008

Am I Evil?




I did a lot of awful and shameful things in the past,you know,I did some keychain shoplifting at a bookstore when I was 14,I didnt pay a jeep ride when I was 16,and the driver knew haha he kept on saying"o yung mga di pa bayad jan magbayad na"haha.But nothing can compare to what I did to my ex-boyfriend's boyfriend,I had sex with him to get back at him for not taking me back!Got it?

Lets put it this way,I'll name my ex bf as john,and the other guy is Joshua,before me,John and Joshua are lovers for a year,when they broke up I met John and we bacame boyfriends for 4 months,but Joshua kept on texting on John,how he still cares for him,but John didnt care at all,he's happy with me.And then we broke up,my fault I admit,but after 2 weeks I realized I cant live without John in my life that I love him still,so I asked him to give me another chance,he refused.I was hurt.This happend 3 years ago.

After 2 weeks maybe,I texted him again,and he said to me,"me and Joshua are back together dont text me",I felt my heart was broken into pieces,I felt betrayed,to think Joshua left him for another guy in the past that caused their break up then.And here I am showed him good things and loved him so much in our relationship,we fought big time that caused our break up,but I asked for another chance and yet he refused me,I mean I thought I didnt deserved it.

So I thought of a brilliant plan,an evil plan haha,good thing I had Joshua's number,I texted him,pretended I looking for a textmate,he didnt know me and had no idea I was John's ex bf.So he fell for my trap,we kept on texting without John knowing it,so I thought hes really not the trustworthy type,I was happy that Im having my revenge to John.

After a week of texting and chatting,I invited him to meet and he agreed,we met at calamba and we went to Festival mall alabang,along the way riding the van,we were holding hands through out the travel time.We ate and talk and I asked him if he wants to stay the night with me,he said,why not,so we checked in at Sogo Hotel.And OMG he's too hot and sexy!He is hairy all over,his chest,his groin,his legs,i cant believe im having sex with this guy,my ex-bf's current bf!I took some pictures and videos of us together,my proof that were together,in case John will doubt it.

Till now I cant forget how it feels,its really awesome!One of the best I had haha,maybe bacause it was a stolen moment and I had a hidden agenda with it,or that hes so sexy or maybe due to the hair!I dont know!haha.By the way he is a bottom!Anyway i'll skip the details,ok,I dont want my blog to be labeled some adult rated site.We spent the whole night together and he still dont have any idea who I am or what Im doing till we went home.

After a week I texted John,I asked him I still want him back that Joshua dont deserve him,I said he's not honest with him and that he cant be trusted,he said I only want to destroy their relationship,I told him what if I have some proof that he spent a night with me?He said Im just bluffing,then I MMS him our picture of Joshua together,then,He said"damn you!Get lost!Fuck you"..I dont know what to feel then,i cant feel happy,all I can think of is,I'm a bad ass!What am I thinkin when I did that??Well,had been said and done,regret is an understatement.Then Joshua texted me he cursed me and said Im a loser!He said he and John are over thanks to me.And i said to myself,mission accomplished!

(Above are Joshua's pic at the room,his hairy body that I cant forget hehe)