Just Friends

"Would you like to have dinner with me sometime? maybe on the 26th, is that OK with you?"

That's what he asked after some time of chatting through messenger, honestly, I like talking to him even though I haven't met him yet, well, I saw his picture already. I was able to know him when he sent me a message telling me how he likes my blog that he almost finished it from the beginning. I was flattered of course. We chat whenever we have a chance.

His name: Aldwin

I agreed on that date, since its my day off and its not bad meeting new friends. I was very vocal about having a new friend. I told him I don't have a bi or gay friend in my life, my friends are straight, male and female. It would make a big difference having someone like me. He agreed since he is new here in Doha, barely a month with no new friends yet, he told me later that he's the only Filipino on their company. Technically he is alone.

I was excited. Even if its 2 weeks to go. I was at work one morning when I decided to text him, we exchanged many messages, when later I told him me and other two friends will dine in at a resto and go to the mall after. Which he will go for late lunch too. He asked if we could meet there, I was hesitant. Its too soon, I thought I still have 2 weeks to meet him!

I'm having butterflies on my stomach! I don't know what to type in on my cellphone keypads. Yes or no? Finally I said: OK, I'll find a way when we're at the mall. My friends are already annoyed at me since I was on my phone almost the whole time while we're eating texting him. But my friends enjoyed the foods and the chats and it took them a long time before deciding to go malling!

Aldwin had to go back at their office! So there, meeting:cancelled! I was sad.

I told him we could catch up later or grab a coffee somewhere since he lives a few blocks from my building. When I came home around 8 in the evening, he invited me to have a dinner instead at a nearby fast food. I changed to casual clothes and hit the street, its a walking distance from my flat.

He came in earlier than me. Then I saw him, wearing his jeans and eyeglasses. Hmmm, pwede!!! He's a jolly person I could tell, and no pretensions, no "arte" whatsoever. I like him...as a friend, LOL! Its too early to think about anything romantic and besides I don't know what's in his mind yet. Our meeting was very nice, I enjoyed it. We're talking about anything for more than an hour.

I thought: I like this guy, he could be a very good boyfriend...

But I immediately erased that thought. I don't want to rush in and hurt in the process. Its better to be friends for the meantime, and if its meant to be, and escalated to something deeper, why not. But now, I got to hold my emotions and enjoy the new friendship with him.

"its still early, can we go to your flat and continue our conversation?" he asked.

Next thing I knew we were walking on the familiar street towards my flat. I was embarrassed because I'm not a neat person when it comes to my house!ahaha. I'm messy and lazy cleaning up! We watched TV and laughing and having a great time. We didn"t notice that its getting very late. Its 12am. He have work at 8am, I asked him: What time you'll go home?

No response. I knew he don't want to end the night so soon. I could sense it. Me too. I don't want him to leave yet. Sexual tensions are building up. I'm fighting it. I made a promise to myself that sex will be the last thing on my mind. I'm sick and tired of having sex first before knowing a guy or him knowing me first.

Hindi ako pakipot ha! LOL

He was sitting on my couch and I decided to sit on its armchair, it surprised me when he lay his arms on my legs for comfort while watching TV, I allowed him, until he put my arms around his shoulders. I kissed his hair. I hugged him tighter this time. I don't want that moment to end. Its magical.

I whispered to his ear, I don't want you to go...

Ok, I'll stay...

But you have work in the morning?

I'll go at 6.

Ok.

Next thing I knew, I was changing the pillow cases on my bed! waaaaa!!! Am I doing the right thing here???? For sure something will happen!

I told him : no sex OK? we'll just sleep together.

"of course" he said. Then he took off his shirt and left his boxer shorts.

I panicked deep inside, if he will sleep shirtless that would be dangerous for me, I will feel his skin next to mine and I will explode with hornyness!LOL. I offered him a shirt, he refused, said he cannot sleep with it. I sighed.

When I came back from the bathroom he's already sleeping. I went to my side of the bed. I don't know what possessed me but I hugged him from his back. He acknowledge it, he came closer.I tried to sleep and keep my hard dick away from his back and butt!LOL prayed that it would stop pulsating!haha

I heard him snoring a little. I felt his bare skin on my arms. It felt good. I stopped myself from biting his earlobes. I slept after a while. I took my arms from him and decided to shift on my side, he followed and this time he was the one hugging me from my back. I missed this. Someone hugging me. Cuddling me...when was the last time someone hugged me this close while sleeping? a year ago? with Brian...

But I was surprised when he started giving me light touches on my shoulders, seducing me...he started moving his hips against mine. My eyes wide open! Oh no...this is it! Will I do it with him...but he promised no sex...

He took my hand and put inside his boxers, I felt his manhood...

"please s@ck it..." he whispered. I said no....he begged "please..."

I faced him and his lips gently moved closer to mine, I kissed him, slowly he kissed me back, then hungrily...I moaned with pleasure...

I like kissing, maybe liked it more than the actual sex itself...

We are both on fire, but I'm still undecided if I want to continue this... I promised myself not to be this easy on sex...been very casual about sex with darkguy before...

I promised my self that the next time I'll do it, it have to be with someone I love, someone who loves me...

I gathered all my self control and said : we cant do this, we are friends.

And with those words, as if I threw a cold drum of water on him and he stopped.

"yes we are friends" he said

I kissed his lips gently and hugged him until we slept.

-----------------------------------------------------

Its 6am he rose from my bed, I didn't move a muscle wait for him to wash up and dressed up. He lay his head on my tummy and wait for me to respond. I hugged him. But didn't kiss him I knew I have a killer breath that time LOL!

I walked him to the door and as I was putting the keys he moved very close from my back and started touching me wildly, I was immediately on fire, I put my hand inside his pants and touched his manhood, he pulled down my shorts from my back and touching me...we almost did it.

He stopped and said: we are friends....
damn! i said im my mind

I'll go, thanks. I'll talk to you later. he said.

I waved goodbye and closed my door.

I went back to my bed and jerked off! LOL

Related posts about Aldwin:
I'll Sleep On Your Bed
I'll Say It Anyway
A Quickie Post
Friends Again

How Often Do You Walk Your Dog?

Warning: The post you are about to read is perverted in nature.If you're not a pervert get your ass off here. Oh com'on! I know you're not leaving LOL!


I've talked to my good friend last time on yahoo messenger and he told me something that really bothered me.

"Mac, when I urinated this afternoon,I think I saw some semen with it."

And I was like "whaaaaattt?!" haha.I thought he was joking, but he isn't.

"This might be due to my lack of masturbation"

"Why?When was the last time you masturbate?"

"Ahm, six months ago?"

I fell off my chair!!! (napatambling ako ng bonggang-bongga mula Laguna hanggang Cavite, nahilo nga 'ko e LOL) after hearing that!Oh My Gawd! I mean, wanking is a normal guy thing right?Im sure even priests are guilty of this! LOL

My cousin even joked around when we were at the church that the reason why the priest was "moody" that day was because he wasn't able to wank! "

"Are you dead serious???!" I said

"Yeah, I know, you wont believe it but its true.For me, masturbation is a sin."

I thought to myself, if that would be a sin, I might be counting like a thousand sins already because I've been masturbating since the Dinosaur era!!! In fact there was a time in my teenage years that I was chilling and I needed to rush home to do it!why does it have to be so good ?!LOL like it has its own mind (yeah I know it has a head too!) but when it feels like it, he wont let me refuse!haha.Was that the "Demon" inside of me?

Maybe if the bathroom floor and tissues can be pregnant I already have dozens of babies LOL!!!!

"Besides I don't have that urge to do it, unlike other guys. Unlike you. I can even survive without sex!"

I cant believe it, that this guy can actually survive for six months! I cant even stand it for 3 days LOL! It feels like I can rape someone like a dog if i cant release that "white-ish-slimy-thing" inside of my "tube" haha as in nakakanginig!!!

I ended up advising him to do it that night(and begged him to do it on web cam so that I can watch LOL!) maybe it was looking for a way out, I added, it might be building up inside and might explode in the coming days!hahaha! I wonder what his boyfriend thinks?They recently got together.

Hmmm,I forgot to ask him the next day though, how it was?like how many gallons had he collected?! or nata-de-coco na ba or kaong? hahaha

How about you? Or are you like him, surviving for 6 months?!haha

Birthday Gift?

"Its my birthday on the 20th hehe wala lang...papansin lang LOL"

I found someone promising, hmmm...*wink-wink*
It started on twitter, he talked to me a little...
Then finally on May 13, he replied on my tweets, got my attention
I left for a while to have my dinner then and I saw a message on my YM account,saying:
"You never came back,I'm waiting for you at twitter..."
Hmmm....demanding haha

I smiled, I saw someone willing to talk to me, really, really wanted to talk to me
I got giddy and all haha, its been a while since I felt this funny stuffs
He said he's been following my blog since November
and that he's been trying to reach me for a while now.
"I read almost everything, from the beginning.
I'm more on the content of your blog"

I saw some of his updates on twitter while were chatting:
"I'm chatting with my dream boy right now... pls bear with me friends,Im busy with him. Gustong gusto ko kasi siya makausap ever!"
I know he's referring to me (ambisyosa ako di bah LOL)
I don't know if its right to flirt with your readers?!haha

Its been 5 days now, everyday were chatting at YM from 8pm to 5am. We even extend our chats till 6 in the morning! he just don't wanna stop! I have to remind him that the sun is up and he needs to go home! He's working on a call center and I kept him company while he works
It felt like I'm working too.LOL. Its a good thing he can chat with me while he work.

What I like about this guy is, he came to me so honest, no fuss at all
He introduce himself, gave me his real name with surname included ha! which is so rare on chatting. he showed me his picture right away too...
Even if I never asked any of them. He could easily talks about his past, his broken family, as if he wants to come clean and open with me. Im impressed.

You have a nice name, I told him
"you'll be carrying my name once were married" he said
And my eyes popped out of its socket and replied
"Waaaaa I don't wanna be the bride!" LOL and he said
"OK,fine, I'll wear the freakin' gown...just marry me!"

Maybe there's a reason why my surname on my visa was misspelled

For me to have more time with this guy?To get to know him more?

I don't know.I'm just too afraid to commit at this point in time.

I don't wanna be unfair at him.We both know I'm leaving soon.

"Don't be so pessimistic.Lets make the most out of this Mac, while it lasts.."

Out of nowhere..I don't know where it came from,I asked him

"Will you be my date on my birthday?"

"sure hehe.I will be your gift, I'll wrapped myself on a big box!"

Haba Hair (part 1)

RR: i have a crush on you because of your blog
Mac: hahaha naks!im blushing
RR: whats up, whats on your mind right now?
Mac: para ka namang si Edward at kinakausap mo si Bella(ako si Bella bleh! LOL)
RR: sana ...
RR: i cant stay away from you anymore...
Mac:haha

RR: hey Mac
RR: you're not seeing anyone naman right now right?
Mac: I'm seeing ghost LOL
RR: lagot
RR: would it be impertinent to say na I'd like to know you more kasi i find you really interesting?
Mac: haha lalong lagot!
Mac: when was your last relationship?
RR: my last one long time ago like a year and a half ago
RR: no one got me interested enough to stop and listen,not until now
RR: whats your star sign?
RR: Taurus? I don't really care much for signs but according to horoscope Scorpio and Taurus makes a strong couple
Mac: so Scorpio ka?
RR: oo

RR:Land line?
Mac: wala e globe lang at smart na walang load LOL
RR: gusto ko sana ikaw makausap sa phone or something
Mac:I want someone older sana for a change,I'm tired of the one in charge,wanna know what its like to be the other way around.
RR: kaya ko rin naman na alagaan kita ah mukha ba akong alagain,kidding aside, i can take care of you Mac
Mac: lets take it slow ok haha wag tayo magmadali

RR:where in laguna are you?
Mac: sa --------
RR: lapit lang pala
Mac: layo nga e
RR: di naman walang malayo pag type mo...

O?O?walang kokontra!LOL! Kumontra magkaka-pigsa sa pwet!haha

Disappointed

"I like you Mac"
"I like you too.You will be a great friend.." (ek ek ko lang)
"Hell no!I don't wanna be just your friend!I want more than that!"

I smiled while reading his reply at YM.I smiled so big that you could see the gray matter inside my brain!LOL! I just know him two nights ago,at a chat room.Where else! After endless chatting he called me and we had a great time talking,his voice is so nice and sweet.I already knew I like this guy,let me give him a name:LJAS.That's his initials.He looks great too we exchange facebooks accounts that night.He said Im cute and I was like "oh,stop it..im not...(*blushing) and added "hilahin ko titi mo jan e! haha kidding! I didn't said that!You know me.

He wanted to see me this week but i declined.Maybe next week when I go to makati.He has a great job I googled his name and so surprised with so much things about him!I felt so little compared to what he accomplished! I mean,who am I compared to this person?Im just a "promdi" who works at a hospital and currently bumming!BEAT THAT!haha

At the middle of our conversation I told him that I was planning to leave the country,that my visa are currently being processed.I wanna be honest with him and I noticed that it bothered him. "So if ever you'll leave me soon..." and I told him "yeah,in the coming month(s)" I added " I may have a few months so lets make the most out of it,and if ever are u willing to have a long distance relationship?" me myself are not convinced that if ever it will work.

But who knows!Maybe,maybe not.But still worth the try I thought to myself.He said "why not,I never done it before maybe I can do it!" and I was like relieved that he is optimistic.But still its too early to tell!We haven't met in person yet for God's Sake and I was thinking long distance relationships already!haha.This is what I hate about myself,I always thinks ahead.Thinking about whats next even if I haven't accomplished the first work yet!Which leaves me disappointed in the end.I wanna change this attitude.

He works for a US base magazine and he' s so busy.That is what bothering me.I missed him.He said when he got a second to talk to me that he misses me and that he'll make it out with me once everything with work is OK.Hayyy,its been two days now and he's still busy.Maybe he just realized that he don't want someone who will leave in the first place.I just have to stop expecting that he's into me after all.

No text.No call.Nothing.haha I sounded like a demanding boyfriend!Stop!Stop!Mac!

Another disappointment.Another one down.I just wish he could be honest with me.I just thought he's worth getting to know with.Or maybe I thought he's a best candidate to be my bf.I erased him at my list already.There's no good keeping his account.But I'm OK its not that I have break up or something haha.

"Nag iinarte lang ako.SEB ANYONE? LOL"

Sulking

A friend of mine is not talking to me,she's ignoring me,I texted her,i messaged her at Ym and still,"deadma".But I m supposed to be the one ignoring her!haha.What happened??? Here's why:

November 2008 during a chat at YM:
Kat: Mac,I gave birth last week,a healthy baby boy,we named him "kal-el"
Mac:Oh congratulations!that's great!but why the name?
Kat:Why?whats wrong with it?we loved it,superman!

But in my mind,Ididn't like it,why in the world you'll name your kid like "Kal-el"?but i just kept quiet hehe.I don't know it sounds stupid,or maybe I just don't like it period.haha.Its like KAL short for "kal-kal" and EL short for "libog" hahahaha.and superman????mas ok pa ang Clark!

Kat: I want you to be the godfather!(and I was like Oh no!godfather another "gastos" i thought so haha,but i liked the idea she's asking me,she really take me as a friend.)
Mac: haha,see you here when you come home.(they are at Saudi that time)
Then they came home.We chat at Ym again and she's inviting me to the christening,she didn't had the time to give me the invitation,but if I'm the "ninong" they should've gave me the invites already,i tried to understand that they're busy,and I was waiting for her to confirm if I'm the godfather.But none.I asked who are the godfathers?and she told me names and she didn't mentioned my sweet name! I just pretended that I don't mind at all.

But I cant kept my feelings about it and I just suddenly said it: "I thought I'm one of the godfathers?"and she said "Siya.Ninong ka!" and I thought to myself she just asked me because she detected a little sulking on my part! But its too late,I am sulking already!haha.I felt bad.I don't wanna be considered godfather just because she knew I'm sulking.I just felt that why did asked me last November and not actually getting me as godfather with the real thing?So I decided I will not come to the christening! "manigas siya"!

And now a week later,I asked her about the christening,if they had fun and all,I just pretended that I'm alright about the "ninong" thing so that she would not think its a big deal for me.Pride.But she's ignoring me.And my friend Shera told me that Kat felt bad that I didn't come to the event!Whattt!!Now its the opposite, instead I'm the one not talking to her,she's the one not talking to me!hahaha.Great!

(Sulking-magtampo,mag inarte,magdrama,tampururot)

Date!Boyfriends!Happiness!

"Are you happy?"he said.And I replied "yes I am" and my battery turned low and die hehe .

Well guys my date went well if you may ask.I felt good today when i went out of the house to meet my date.No more wories,no nervousness and all I thought of is that we will be just fine and its all what happend! I changed my clothes twice and I sprayed my perfumes too many times that even my dog shaggy sneezed 3 times!

I saw him standing in the crowd when I arrived I was late due to heavy traffic and its funny that I kept on telling him last night that I hate latecomers! When we reached the mall.We went straight up to the cinema and look for the movie schedule we watched "The Day Earth Stood Still" starred keanu reeves and jenifer connely I dont like it by the way hehe.Lack special effects and the story was not too good.When its finished you will say to yourself "is it over yet?" or"what?its finished already?Just like that?"But before that we dined in at fastfood nearby (we dont have enough budget so we just settled there hehe) and we talked about anything,we laughed,we argued a bit and all.But I like it.I think I like him.No,I like him.

I asked him "are we boyfriends now?" and he said" yes,we're a couple" I just hugged and hold his hands and squeezed it some times through out the movie...when its so cold inside I feel like holding him forever,that time will stop right there and then and stay that way.But it never did,the lights turned on and people start standing...Oh well, the movie ended.But I wont let this night pass without kissing him,and when we reached this shaded hallway I pulled him closer to me and gave him a quickie!I mean a quick kiss!!!!At the back of the car going home I was hugging him closer to me thank God people at the back didnt noticed us hehe.Before separating we ate a light dinner at this chinese fastfood and I walk him through his side of the road untill he ride the jeep home.

"It seems its not enough..we chat at home at ym... till he said goodnight..."

Just a Simple Word

After more than two weeks of being together JL and I had a big fight,come to think of it its not really a big fight,actually its a petty fight haha.We didnt talk or text or chat for 3days,no one is giving up,im not approaching him first,over my dead body!And I was so pissed off that he's not approaching first either.On the second day of he sent me a text quotes, part of it goes like this:"...never apologize for saying what you feel because its like saying sorry for being real etc etc ek ek..." and the other one was: "Why do we become so numb caring for people whom at times dont even think of us in a day or two etc etc..blah blah"..I didnt replied to any of the damned quotes if he's thinking I will give-in or he's intentionally making me mad to textback, well sorry for him,Im not just mad..Im furious!!!haha.but ofcourse I didnt want him to know that.I just ignored him and even at YM i shifted from visible to invisible evrytime I saw him online.

At the third day,he sent me a message at ym even if Im invisible he said "ano na?" and I said "anong ano na?"hehe.And that word followed by another and another which end up us fighting again and I said "you know what,lets talk next week Im so mad at you!" and after that without a reply he signed off.

I was so mad at him that night.I even planned on making a break up but then again,I dont want to be impulsive and regret it after.I did that already with one of my ex,I dont want to regret things over and over again,so I controlled my self not to say "I want a breakup".It feels good to say that at first but after a few days its ugly anymore,so I didnt.

So i look for something to divert my anger..and I saw his name at my friendster!I immediately erased him to my list of friends haha and it made me feel good after.Im sure this will make him mad!Good riddance I said to myself.

The next day,when I opened my blog I saw his comment,it says : "so you erased me at friendster huh..do you want to end this already?"It made me smile haha.I know i will invite him back im not angry anymore.

My friend Oj adviced me to think it over and relax,and just let my emotion subside.So just like any other day I was online earlier and I was changing the color of my blog(hoped you like it over the green one)when his name popped out on the bottom of my screen "JL is now online",I dont know what happened I just click his name and said "bati na tayo" and thats it,he replied and we chat and everything was ok again(well i hope so) he even want to voice chat.

Its so funny how a simple word like "bati na tayo" or "sorry" or anything makes a diffrence to everything.Sometimes a simple word is the solution.Ofcourse at the right time and place.Ciao!

Wait!I remember we have a deal when we started this relationship we said :" if we fight,lets not wait another day to settle it"haha i dont know what happened to that promise!

OJ OK!

Its 3am in the morning,I just said goodbye to my close friend OJ from UK,he is a physical therapist there after chatting with him through YM since 11 pm,its been 4 straight hours of fun and serious chat.Its always like this,everytime we have the chance to.Its nice to talk to him again,we talked about anything,we have this kind of connection ever since we stumbled upon each other,if I were single maybe he would be my boyfriend now hehe (if he read this Im sure this would put a big smile on his rounded face hehe) I courted him through chat and I know he's secretly inlove with me (Im sure he'll deny it!) Kidding!

He is the kind of person that will never get me bored when ever we chat,its totally spontaneous I mean we never have to think hard of anything to say or talk about,it just come out naturally and the next thing we know time passes us by quickly.He will come home this january for a vacation and we planned on going to boracay for a weekend and the good thing about it is : He's the one paying for me! Cant wait to see you OJ!

Keep it Cool..

Its been three weeks now since me and my boyfriend broke up, I told to myself that its high time for me to take it cool, I mean have time to myself being alone for a while because I met Jaireh two months after me and Brian broke up, I wanna be alone for a long time I said to myself.

But here I am again on the gay chatrooms and websites chatting till my brains out..and before I knew it I was exchanging YM i.d and my cel numbers to guys that I enjoyed chatting at, that they wanna know me more,they said.And I was enjoying it,the constant chatting and texting, I cant even remember Jaireh..am a bad person?

I just hurt my last bf and now Im flirting with another one?and its not just one theres 3 of them! I mean not flirting literally..you know just cyber and text flirting,I only went on dates to those guys that I've been talking for about a week or two,to know if Im really sure to meet that person.

I havent met them yet,I only met one, and he's a fantastic guy, the date was fun,our conversation was spontaneous which is what I'm looking for in a partner,after our date we kept on communicating, I still need more time if I wanna ask the big question "can u be my partner?"hehe. Because I find it still early for that I wanna take my time, I dont wanna rush things like what happend between me and Jaireh before.

And I still kinda waiting for him to be a little thoughtful..its important for me...for me if you are not a little of that,it means you are not that concern for me.When I say thoughtful,its like texting me with what you doing,telling me you're not gonna be able to text me because you have to be away for a couple of hours,or that you will text me later so that I wont wait..something like that, little things that really matters.And if the guy cant be like that,well, I'll rather find another.


(Image are taken from yahoo.com)