Showing posts with label separation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label separation. Show all posts

May 16, 2009

A Family Show: Goodbye Once Again

Its five in the morning, still dark when I look out the window, I turned off my alarm clock and grab my "piknik" (remember my chamber pot?LOL) and headed out of my room.I saw my mom and dad having breakfast,there's a silent atmosphere in every corner of our house.I sat down and eat "goto" and loaf bread.I felt like choking.

But I pretend I'm not sad at all, don't wanna show them I'm being an "emo" or something.I don't know,why are we too shy to say our feelings with our mother? I cant remember I said "I love you" to her, maybe it sounds so cheesy and corny and all, we are not so used to it, (but i don't have a hard time saying those words when I'm f*cking someone and about to c*m!LOL) but I know I showed it to her on every possible way I can I just cant say it!Damn!

I told her instead "mom, don't forget to bring your face mask and alcohol on your bag OK?"

I hope she got my hidden message. That inside those words I'm saying "mom I love you, please take care of yourself and we will miss you". I'm jealous of other people too comfortable saying I love yous to their mother, or parents, we are just not that vocal about it, but we knew, deep inside our hearts that we do love each other.

We talked about anything inside the car. It was fun.

Then we reached our destination...

NAIA...the airport.

This is the day she's going back to Dubai

Another two years before she come back

Before we go out and hangs out again

I will miss her so much

When she's about to go inside I hugged her so tight and said:

"mother wag ka tatatanga-tanga na naman dun sa eroplano ha!"

And we all laughed and she headed at the entrance.

related posts:
Looks like Insomnia
My Favorite Person
A family show:homecoming
A Family show 1

April 18, 2009

Closed Book

This news just came through.Mainit-init pa.

Me and RR are no more.

You heard me right.We're history.

Funny,to think that we never really been together hehe

Hint:
It's just that his thing,is not my thing,period.

I erased everything.Its my way of moving on.So that I wont be able to contact him in any way and beg for him to come back and take me.LOL!

March 19, 2009

A Family Show

My mom called last night and told me its confirmed that she'll be going home next month...hep hep hep...hold your thought guys!not because of the recession,but to have her 30 days vacation hehe.We are so excited its been two years since we saw and hugged her.My nephew were just 2 years old then barely crawling the floor and now he's 4 and running around the house already!

That made me happy.I missed my mom so much.I don't know maybe being a bi or gay made it so natural to be super close to their mothers than their fathers.Mothers made it so easy for us,me being gay by being so understanding,so forgiving,so loving...At least she will be free from responsibilities from my uncle who is currently her problem at Dubai.

But there is one slight problem of her homecoming...my father.You see,mom and dad are not really together,like together-together anymore.They are separated but without the legality.I mean my mom is living her own life now without caring what my dad thinks.Its fine with us,I mean she deserves to be happy.And my dad was really hard to reasoned with.He have an impossible personality that no one could bear!We all see it coming.

You see,my mom don't have a problem not seeing my dad for many years since my dad was out of the country too and he have his yearly vacation every December and my mom every May,so its been a success avoiding him.My dad don't seems to take it,he's still hopeful,but my mom and I thought its hopeless.She told my sister too that there is no love left at all.

But this year its a totally different scenario.My dad quits his job last year.And his visa for another work hasn't come yet,so my mom cannot avoid the inevitable hehe.Seeing my dad and actually living together in one roof!That's exciting for us haha we don't know how my mom is gonna play this!

I mean will she be sleeping the same room with him?
or how is she going to tell him that its not what's he thinks looks like?
Will there be lots of fights?
For my dad they are still husband and wife.He's in denial,that gets me irritated.

This will be the much awaited event of the year.
Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.

March 11, 2009

Gay Childhood II

Bert and I

I was so grateful for Bert's company,he plays with me almost everyday, we're like the best of friends, we tried all possible game to play. No “Kupalan” this time though hehe. He would stopped by at our house so that we could get to school together. And we would talk about anything, everything.

After school he would say "Mac,lets play later.I'll be at your house" and I was so excited what game should we play. I was like 8 or 9 years old then. We will play at our front yard at the soil we will make roads for our small cars and trucks and it was all fun. I got so possessive of him I don't know, one time I enjoyed so much playing with him when he said "I got to go ,its late" and I replied "what? if you go now I wont speak with you ever again!" and he'll stay.

I felt like I was in control of him, that gave me the satisfaction. That means he don’t want me to get mad at him, I felt important. Until his mom picked him up and scolded and spanked him "its so late why didn't you go home huh?!" and he cried I felt guilty. Its my fault. His mom and my mom are like the best of friends by the way.

One time I invited him to play and he agreed. But he never came, I later found out he was playing with this other kid. I got so mad. I didn't speak with him when he was talking to me.I ignored him. Its my punishment at him .It took 2 days, until I was at our yard playing alone and he run passed by at me and he threw a rock wrapped in a paper .I picked and opened it.

There was a note in the paper:

“Please forgive me.”


Young Threesome


Then I went to his house and found him sitting at their couch alone. I invited him to play and everything was back to normal.Not until one afternoon,we were at my room and his elder brother Dondie came.He was a year older.

Next thing I knew we’re all not wearing our pants!haha.I actually cant remember what we are talking about prior to that and led to it!I just knew that we’re so horny.My god me and Bert was only 9 years old then!We’re all uncircumcised and its so funny!Its like there’s three ant eaters in my room!LOL

It’s a part of Philippine culture that you have to be circumcised before you reached age 12 or something. So my foreign readers don’t be offended. Here, others thought that if you’re uncut they would tease you and would think you are less of a man, I don’t know, I later found out that many men not just here but around the world are uncircumcised.

Back to my story, all I can remember was, Dondie put his penis at my butt and he was just pressing it there and I could feel the raging heat radiating from that part of him, I did it to him too.It was so good. I don’t know where did we get that idea I mean I never seen a porn movie that time!

When its Bert’s turn, I was on my knees and like were on a doggie position when another kid showed out! Its Rick !My neighbor who have a big mouth and a certified bully! He saw us and at my disadvantage! He have proof now that I'm really gay! Because its looks like I’m the one who do the bottoming haha.


Bestfriend No More

Next thing I knew the whole school knew about it! And I cant even show my face to everyone! I didn’t go to school for about 2 days until my mom scolded me and have no choice but to go back. Bert started to be distant, he have a new set of friends now, and I'm left alone, with girls to play with now.

Until we were in high school. He’s like a totally different person, I missed him.I missed my best friend,that he used to be.But I already accepted it a long time ago, since I was 12 years old,that I will never get him back. And I was so surprised that after so many years, just last year,we're both 28years old, he asked me to be his daughter’s godfather…and that gave me tears when I'm alone…

at least he never really forget…