Should I Give Up?

Its been 2 days since our last date. I haven't heard from him since. I did my usual routine at work at the ICU when Gil noticed me and said: wow, look whose here! I did not expect to see him either on duty that afternoon.

And if Gil is here, it means R.A is on duty too! (Gil is R.A's preceptor)

OMG!

I looked around...looking for a familiar face, a face that I long to see....

there!

at the station, he looked surprised seeing me too. I cannot tell if that look was from being glad to see me or for fear that Oh-oh-he's-here-look!LOL. Our eyes met and we smiled to each other. I don't know...after our date, it just felt awkward talking or seeing him again.

I kinda missed him. I wanna run into him and give him a tight hug.

Nobody from his colleague at the ICU knew that we had our date last weekend. For them, I'm still getting nowhere on my quest to win his heart!LOL

I didn't stay longer than I used to, I finished up my work and went back upstairs to our unit. I didn't chat with him like I used too. I was trying to read his actions. I'm still guessing if he likes me or not.

I feel so insecure after I noticed his indifference. I wanna scream to his face and yell: what now! But I didn't!

di ko keri hahaha!

On my second rounds. Gil noticed that I'm quiet while doing my work, I'm not like that. We usually have this moment of fooling/joking around and talking some silly stuffs while I'm trying to get notice by R.A at work.

I already had my dinner, but Gil and R.A just about to have theirs. Gil asked me if I wanna eat with them. I said thanks, that they should go and eat for I have things to do. I was waiting for R.A to invite me too, but he was just quiet as if he did not know that I'm there. But I'm sure he knew that I am.

It hurts me that after we shared a great dinner and some time last Saturday, he was acting weird. So I thought to my self, OK, that's it! that's my sign! I should give up whatever hopes I had with him!

I finished up my rounds and my documentation after 30 minutes when they came back...I was at the faucet scrubbing my hands:

"Mac, ganyan ka di ka sumasabay sa min kumain ha!" Gil said
(Mac, you really didn't join us for dinner huh!)

"Busog na nga kasi ako!hahaha"
(I told you, I had dinner already)

I saw R.A passed by but I ignored him. Pretending that I did not see him.

"Mac..."

I looked around and saw him.

"Here...take this..." giving me a can of milk for patients on nasogastric tube for feeding!He was teasing me to have it for dinner instead. He was smiling like a small boy, trying to be funny with his super korny joke!

Tinignan ko siya ng matagal. Nakangiti lang siya ng parang engot...

"hmpf! ah ganun ha...you take it first!" I replied. I was smiling back at him. He was laughing when he left.

For a few seconds...that brief moment. Everything around us felt so quiet. As if we had our own world. I was looking at his eyes and he was looking at mine.

Yes. It was our moment.

I know. Mababaw ako!LOL

I was smiling on my way out. As if all the worries flew in the air.
hay, shall I stop hoping or what?!

Taena ka R.A! Ginugulo mo ko!LOL

*****

Dahil jan kakanta ako ng:Chasing Pavements!hahaha

(related post about R.A. click HERE)

And Then He Said Yes!!!

For a few days I kept on flirting with R.A, I've been extra sweet, spending extra time talking at him even though I have nothing else to do at the ICU, been throwing jokes about going out and etc, I'm sure he gets it, unless MANHID siya noh!

Then I went to London for 4 days without telling him, and then when I came back Gil told me that when he asked R.A about me this question: "so how are you and mac?" and he told me, R.A replied with this: "he's always missing", that's the time Gil told him "tange, he's in London, you didn't know?"

It made me smile, so, he misses me after all!

And as I soon as I went online on Face book, he started chatting with me:

"Hello, bigla nalang nawala... Yun pala natuloy sa lugar na sinasabi niyang pupuntahan niya"
(hello, you've been gone, and found out you went to that place you're talkin about)

"hahaha, hey! I'm back!"

"walang pasalubong?" he teased
(no souvenir for me?)

"of course, I have! I'll give it to you later"

When we got to see each other, i handed him this big chain made of silver with a print on its heart: I love London. I bought it specially for him. Without him knowing that it has another partner on my keeping...hehehe! hindi niya alam mag jowang bear yun!

"aw shit! May puso pa talaga ha..." Gil teased me and pointed the red heart on the bear I gave to R.A. I knew R.A noticed it too, but I just played innocent. Deadma

I've been trying to hide my feelings towards him, as my friend advised me, that i shall not reveal my true feelings so easily to a guy I like, no matter how much I like him, that I should play hard to get too LOL! So days have passed that our scheds didn't match and we're not able to see each other but I sent an sms message on him once...

When he saw me online at FB he said:

"hello, anong duty? Di ata kita nakikita sa hospital a..."
(hello, what's your duty? How come I havent seen you at the hospital lately?)

"Sungit mo kaya sa text kahapon.." I said
(you we're snobbish yesterday when I text you)

"ah, yeah, I was not in the mood. Work problem. I wanna transfer to another hospital"

"what! you're planning to leave me without going out on a date with me first?LOL!" I can't believe that I really typed the word DATE! waaaaah!

"LOL ka rin"

That's it! that's his fuckin reply to what I just said! Grrrrr!

He's been chatting with me every now and then when ever he sees me online, which I must admit gave a wide smile on my lips...giving me hope, that maybe, maybe...arghhhh! I don't wanna expect anything! F*ck!

But his message yesterday almost made me fell on my chair:

"hello, kelan ka manlilibre?"
(hello, when are you gonna treat me for dinner?)

Pakshet! I used to say those words at him! And this time, he's throwing that line back at me!!! taena! I wanna scream and shout to the world that R.A is finally asking me out!!!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Ikaw lang naman ayaw e...kelan ka off?"
(I'm just waiting for you to say yes.When is your day off?)

"Saturday..."

"Ok, saturday then..."

"Ok..."

Let's See It Together!

I was on the hallway about to enter the ICU where I am assigned and the voice of Mel kept on playing over and over again to my ears when we had a conversation at his car earlier:

"ask him out already...ang bagal mo!"

He was referring to R.A his new colleague and my new crush-crushie hehe. I kinda like his nerdy-virginal-soft spoken-character and dark skinned too! Damn! I have so many adjective for him!hehehe.

I like him. As in so much that I'm almost thinking of him every day. I'm just not sure if he likes me too or if he likes straight guys or gay guys too! Its hard to read him!

Its been a few days since I showed interest in him. But I still haven't gone far at all! All I did was to make smile and make-pacute at him and invited him at my face book and had a few chat!

I took a deep breath and spotted him immediately at patient number 3...its his patient I assumed. I didn't go at him yet, instead I went to check on patient number 1...took my time till patient number 2 and when I'm about to see his patient number 3, he's already facing me and was giving me something on his hand....

"hey, here's the pen that I promised to give you..." he said smiling. Oh my gosh, I was about to melt. I mean, I almost forgot that i asked for that same pen like 4 days ago, but here he is still honoring that promise...*kilig*

"thank you! you remembered!" I said and kept the pen to my pocket. and thought: I won't use this pen ever and will kiss it goodnight everytime! Chos!

"of course". he said and went back to his paper works.

I continued on my rounds and Mel whispered "did you invited him out already?"

"not yet! atat ka?sasama ka sa lakad?!" and we laughed together.

When I finally got the chance to approach him alone, I took a deep breath and started a conversation:

"you know what, I hated my friends..."

"huh? why is that?"

"I was asking them since last week to see a movie on I-max, but they didn't say yes, but I found out they saw it yesterday when I was at duty! Imagine!" this is actually a true story haha I didnt make it up, but decided to use the situation on my favor.

"wow I-max. What movie you wanted to see?" he asked.

"The Green Hornet."

"hey that's still new! I've heard some good reviews about it."

I saw the excitement from his eyes. Hmmm, I think he likes the idea of going to see a movie. This is good. I took a deep breath once again and said the magic words:

"Come with me, lets see it together..." I nervously laughed and tap his shoulders for some reason that I don't know! LOL and I just walked away from him and see other patient's chart without knowing his answer!

Grrrrrrr! Stupid! Stupid!

When I calmed down and back to my relaxed self again. I approached him once again and sat in front of his table. Tutukan ko na toh! LOL

I saw Gil, his preceptor (his teacher since R.A is only new to the job) which is my friend by the way. I secretly sent him away from us so that I could have R.A for myself alone!

"so R.A, what now? come lets watch The Green Hornet this weekend"

"where do they have the Imax here?"

"At the villagio".

"How much is the entrance?"

"not that much... I think around 55 riyals"

"expensive..."

"kuripot mo!"

"hahaha I haven't have my paycheck yet Mac. So technically I'm still poor!" and we both laugh at his remarks. When I looked around I saw Mel, Gil and Ate Luz watching us with a giant silent teasing smile on their face! natawa ako sa itsura nila!

I was about to say that the date is on me, that's when his monitors started alarming. He got so busy that I was left hanging again!

Pakshet!

When I approached ate Luz she said: "o ano, napasagot mo na ba?" (did he say yes?) with a voice so loud that R.A might hear at the other side!!!

shhhhhhhh!!! wag ka maingay!!!