June 29, 2011

Just Like Last Year...

I only have 7 days left...malapit na naman ako umalis...time flies really quick...and what do you know, its 30 days already. It felt like that I've been here for just a week! LOL

I am undergoing this feeling again, nag-uumpisa na naman, the same feeling like last year...a kind of sadness and anxiety that I cannot shake off. Ang hirap i-explain...basta yung kalungkutan na di ko mapakalma. Ang bigat sa dibdib teh! :-)

I am trying to ignore it, because I still have 7 days more.

But here it is. Deep inside me. Persistent. At least I am good in hiding my feelings. Para kang naiiyak na di ka naman mapaiyak! Yun bang para kang bibitayin kinabukasan, na ayaw mo na dumating yun araw na yun. That kind of feeling!

I know I could get over this soon. I know, I will.

Just like I did, last year.

June 26, 2011

Deep Inside

I stumbled upon an old folder of mp3 files on my laptop and I rediscovered this song once again...

I listened one more time, and I smiled... yeah I smiled. It was bitter-sweet hehe, even though I'm alone in the middle of my dark room, I sang along with its lyrics...typhoon falcon was pouring its heavy rains outside. But I didn't mind. At least no one would mind...as no one would care...

I thought to myself, if someone would open my heart and listen to its voice...its screaming...its lonely...and begging for someone to hear what its gonna say... burried deep inside its veins, its arteries, its valves and its two large ventricles...

I guess this song best describes what's inside of it...

"Still I believe...
I'm missing something real.
I need someone
Who really sees me...

Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world"

--All The Love In The World by The Corrs

cheesy....I know!!!LOL

Hay, love why are you not goin' my way? don't skip this road again, will you? chos!!!

Ulan kasi ng ulan, kaya nag iinarte tuloy ako! hahaha!

June 22, 2011


Umuulan na naman...ilang araw ng ganito...peste lang di ba pampasira ng bakasyon ko! LOL

Di ako makarampa sa beach! siyet! kaya kinalimutan ko na ang karagatan! sinumpa ko nalang sa sarili ko na hinding-hindi na ko uuwi ng Hunyo! Evah!

Pag ganitong tag-ulan at nakadungaw lang ako sa bintana ng bahay...napapangiti nalang ako pag naalala ko kung pano ako pa-simple manood sa likod ng kurtina ng bintana sa mga binatang naliligo sa ulan noon....wala silang pang-itaas at puro naka shorts lang na bakat na bakat ang "bukol" nila pag nababasa...ang hot lang ng tanawin na yun! taena!

Madalas pinagti-trip-an ko mga kili-kili nila...at mga buhok sa pusod...fetish ko yun...andami ko naiimangine...hay....

Ingat pa ko nun kasi baka makita ako ng tatay ko na libog na libog sa panonood sa labas!LOL Ngayon kasi wala ng naliligo kasi hapon na, maginaw na!haha.

Pag ganitong malakas din ang buhos ng ulan, naalala ko kung pano maubos ang kaldero namin sa kusina pang sahod sa mga tulo ng ulan na galing sa bubong namin na butas-butas at kinakalawang...Edad kinse ata ako nun.

Maski sa kwarto kapag matutulog na, andun pa din ang tilamsik ng tubig ulan kapag malapit ng mapuno ang kalderong nilagay ko pansahod. Mahirap matulog :-(

Tanda ko pa noon kung pano halos liparin ng malakas na hangin ang bubong kapag may bagyo...itatali ng tatay ko ang bubong papunta sa puno na malapit.

Napapangiti nalang ako ngayon, tapos na kami sa kabanata na yun ng buhay namin...iginala ko ang paningin ko sa bahay namin ngayon...hindi ito malaki, pero ayos na ito, matibay at komportable.

Nakakatulog ng mahimbing ng walang alalahanin na baka may yero na matutuklap at liliparin ng malakas na hangin tuwing may bagyo...

at higit sa lahat...

Hindi na nauubos ang kaldero pansahod sa tumutulong bubungan...

June 20, 2011


I don't wanna be your friend.

June 16, 2011

Just One Question!

After our first date, me and Mark were chatting online at yahoo messenger when suddenly, at the middle of our conversation, I felt like its the right time to throw in the question I've been dying to ask him ever since the world began! LOL

This is important you know...

Is he a Top or a Bottom?

So, I carefully thought, how would I ask him that? He is Mr.Prim and Proper...always composed. He might think of me being so...perverted!

E di naman kaya...just wanna know lang...

Bahala na...

"Mark, Can I ask you a question?"

" Sure. Don't make it too difficult though haha..."

"Are you a Top or a Bottom? O, madali yan ha!LOL"


and he followed it with another


I swear I could imagine the reaction on his face saying these words!!!

"Hahaha. Im dying to know" I continued

"seriously?" he said

"Hell yeah!!!"

"Hehehe! OMG talaga! Well, Im _______ :-)" he replied.

"Great!!! So, when are we goin to check in?"


Me at Nuvali at Sta.Rosa, Laguna. The colorful koi's are amazing to watch here!

June 13, 2011

Till I Met You

He was smiling when he's approaching me...I smiled back. It was 2 in the afternoon at gateway mall.

"Hi!" the first word I uttered and followed by..."could you button up your shirt!" LOL!

He was wearing a checkered polo and the three buttons are open exposing a large portion of his chest and its bothering me! (kasi naglalaway ako?chos!!!) kaya naman di ko napigil sarili ko!

I teased him that he looked like a gigolo!

"nabukas kasi, and medyo masikip( the buttons are opening unintentionally)...that's why I kept it open nalang..." he explained.

"I thought you'll be wearing a polo! Im right!" its a good thing, I didn't wear my fave shorts today hihihi. I just assumed he'll be wearing something decent, so I picked a little more formal top.

It was our first date. Mark and I have been chatting online for a long time. He reads my blog...leaving some comments...teasing me, that I should choose him instead blah blah...in other words, he got my attention hahaha!

He used to have a blog too, but he shut it down recently, I don't wanna think that I'm the reason behind that! hahaha!

I love his writings. Some of his posts are dedicated to me and it made me smile whenever I come to visit his site. Honestly, kinilig ako. I just hoped i made a copy and saved it on my file earlier, but its too late he said he deleted his blog already. Arte-arte nya kasi! charrr!

Anywayz, I'm just glad that finally, after all what happened, we are here face to face. Talking and goofing around at Burgoo restaurant. Actually we are having a real great time together. I was surprised. I was expecting something else due to our age gap and status! And I lost count to the number of times we fought online!

Para kasi siyang bato...manhid!charrr!

One time I had to remind him to be quiet because he was laughing too loud and people are looking at us!

All of our issues are being addressed at. As usual, I'm the one to blame. Me being impulsive! Sorry naman! But I gotta say, he's got some part on it too noh! Its not all me! Aminin mo Mark!

"So where shall we go after this?" he asked.

"I don't know. What do you want to do next?" deep inside, I was happy knowing he still want us to spend more time. I thought after lunch, that's it. Bye bye time.

"You decide. You invited me out. uhmm, i remembered you said you wanna see a movie..." he replied

"Ah yeah, but I don't know if they have a good one this week, I already saw x-men and kung fu panda last week eh"

I excused my self and went to the rest room. To freshen up first before headin out. When I came back and about to call the waiter for our bill he said:

"Its all taken care of"

"huh?! why did you do that? this is my treat ano ka ba naman?" I protested. Baka isipin nya sinadya ko mag CR talaga ng matagal hahaha! andami ko kasi tinga sa bakal ng ngipin ko kaya matagal swear!LOL

We saw the movie Super 8 and this time I'm paying! Di na siya kumontra. I was thinking of him holding my hands inside the cold and dark cinema! chos!

Wholesome kami. Walang ganun :-)

The movie was just so-so...not as good as x-men, but its OK. It has some scary scenes that almost made me scream, but thank God, I didn't! or else it would be embarrassing!

It was still early when we finished the movie. We decided to go to Shangri-La Plaza Mall at ortigas to have dinner.

"Naks. Makakasakay din ako ng car mo! yes!" I was teasing him. Parang ayaw nya ako isakay dati e! LOL

It took us a long time to find a parking space! Grabe kakahilo!Mas lalo pa ko nahilo sa dami ng cute na pagala gala sa Mall!

"o ang mga mata mo..." he catched me taking a glimpsed at a cute guy who passed by.

This time we dined in at Secret Recipe restaurant. Here we talked about families and some other things. He is a good listener. I talked a lot OMG!

"sabi naman sayo, di ako madaldal di ba..pangiti-ngiti lang ako..." i remembered him saying that on one of our chats months ago.

"Till when ka nga dito sa pinas?"

"Till july 6..I still have plenty of time" I smiled.

"Are you sure its Ok for you to travel safely at this time, its late? Why don't you check in at a nearby hotel?" He asked.

"if you're going to check in with me, why not! chosss! Of course i didn't say that! baka maeskadalo lolo nyo haha!

He drove me to the terminal where I will take a Van back to Laguna after our dinner.

No good bye kiss...hihihi. Just plain: Thanks and I had a great time....

"weh, Di nga?" he answered

"its true. I enjoyed your company". I assured him. He thought I'm just sugar-coating it.

"Ok. text me when you get home. Take care Mac".

It was sweet of him to park nearby while I'm looking for the right line. He's a real gentleman. When he saw that I'm OK. He opened his window and waved his final good bye.

I waved back... and i whispered in my mind:

"thanks doctor Mark... sana may next time pa..."

June 9, 2011

Salamat Kay Dodong

Nakakatawa kundi pa bumagyo di ako mag titigil sa bahay!hahaha. At least nagka day off ako sa paglayas! LOL

Kaloka tong week na to, araw araw nasa galaan at kung sino sino friends ang mini-meet ko! Ang saya lang kasi na miss ko sila talaga!

Tawanan, kainan, okrayan at kumustahan ng mga nangyari sa nakalipas na isang taon nun huli kami mag kita kita.

At grabe wala pa kong ten days dito sa bensa natin e, halos 60% na ng yaman kong uwi ang nawaldas! Ang bilis maubos ng pera! jusko po lord guide me! Ilayo mo ko sa mga materyal na bagay! Sa pisikal na bagay mo nalang ako ilapit! Dun sa karne! chos!!!

Speaking of karne, lagi ko din nakakain ang gusto ko iulam, yun mga namiss ko talaga ng todo, ang bait ng sistah ko, para lang ako reyna na dedemand kung ano gusto ko ulam kinabukasan!hahaha

Ang ayoko lang dito, yun feeling na di ka ligtas, na any minute madudukutan ka or maagaw ang cellphone mo or bag mo! Kasi sa Doha, isa na ata un sa pinaka safe na lugar sa mundo. kahit maiwan mo gamit mo sa bus stop or waiting shed, pagbalik mo kahit isang oras na nakakaraan, andun pa din yun!

At isa pa, di matuloy tuloy ang swimming namin sa beach kasi maulan! sana next week pwde na! sa ngayon, i-eenjoy ko muna ang lamig ng panahon na dala ng tag ulan at ng bagyong si Dodong! Masarap din naman tumambay sa bahay maghapon, habang inaantay ko ang puto bumbong na pinabili ko teka, asan nga ba yun????2 hrs ago pa yun! LOL

me with my sistah while having dinner @ Sbarro

Masarap pa din talaga sa pinas kahit ano pang nega ang nakikita ko sa atin...pinas will always be my home.

June 6, 2011

Amoy Arabo?

I was at this store at the mall, checking out some clothes when the gay sales attendant asked:

"Sir, are you from abroad?"

Nagtaka ako. Yoko pa naman sana maging masyadong maging obvious na balikbayan, as much as possible I wanna blend in, simple and minimalistic, chos!!!! (feeling artista!) mahirap na, baka gawan ako ng masama akala limpak limpak ang salapi ko! kahit di naman! LOL

"why did you asked?"

"Because of your perfume, it smells like you're someone who just came home from abroad..."

Whaat??? In my mind, OK this is getting interesting. Baka amoy arabo na ko?LOL. I am wearing the new Hugo Boss Orange for men, BTW. Naging uncomfortable tuloy ako.

"Why, what's my smell like? is it bad?"

"Nope, its just not from here, I guessed. I'm not familiar with the smell, that's why I asked hehehe. So you came from where? Canada? US?"

Ok, atleast di naman pala ako amoy arabo, kung ang guess nya e dun ako sa mga countries na yun galing!haha

"Nope, I came from Doha" and I smiled.

But he didn't stop there, he was way too annoying, he kept on talking like, how was the gay life there, like "booking" was easy there ba daw blah blah...my goodness, di siya makahalata that he's getting on my nerve na!

I took my wallet out and paid the items and left. Hay naku kalurkey siya!

June 2, 2011


Nagising ako sa maliit na tinig ng pamangkin ko sa labas ng kwarto ko, nakikipagusap siya sa kalaro niya, I guessed.Nasa pinas na nga talaga 'ko. Di ito isang panaginip.

Iginala ko ang aking mga mata sa apat na sulok ng dingding...ipinaayos ng sister ko ang room ko, bagong kurtina, bagong bed at mga ka ek ek-an, bagong pintura din ito...kulay YELLOW!

Sumakit ulo ko kagabi pag pasok ko nun makita kong naninilaw ang kwarto! Jusko ang magaling kong kapatid talaga! Ipinaayos daw nya yun room in case may "bisita" akong isasama haha. Pero sorry to disappoint her, walang wala!

Nasanay na kasi siyang may bf ako everytime haha.

Mahimbing ang tulog ko magdamag, malamig, di na ko sanay ng walang ac hihihi (nag mamaganda).Napagod ako sa biyahe 9hrs ba naman! at gising ako the whole time ha, di kasi ako nakakatulog kahit sa sa byahe whether bus or plane pa yan, ayun naka 3 movies at 2 episode ng Glee lang ako at mga nakasampung trip to the toilet, maihiin kasi akong tao!

Buti nalang uso sa Qatar Airways yun online check in, I get to choose which seat I want at the plane and of course sa isle at sobrang lapit sa toilet na upuan ang pinili ko.

Andami'ng nag uwian kahapon ng hapon kaya naman full house ang NAIA sa mga balikbayan. 4pm lumapag ang plane, nakalabas ako 5pm na. Inip na inip na mga sumundo sakin hehe. May isang nakikipagtitigan sakin, inaantay kong lumapit, kaso mukhang mahiyain, ayoko naman mauna, dalagang pilipina kaya to!char!

At syempre pag labas ng sasakyan namin ng airport, naharang agad kami ng mga buwaya ng kalsada, nakotongan agad kami. Hay naku some things never changed talaga. Sabi ng sis ko halata daw na galing akong abroad. Chineck ko tuloy sarili ko sa mirrow, di naman masyado a, maliit lang ngang tierra ang suot ko a! LOL

Pag dating ng house nakahanda ang dinner, we had Pochero, na nirequest kong main dish pag uwi ko, namiss ko kasi yun ulam na yun. Kwentuhan ek ek, then bigay pasalubong, mga excited sila.

Yun nephew ko kakatuwa laging nakadikit sakin mula pa sa sasakyan, kahit nun malapit na magtulugan sa tabi ko daw siya tutulog. Namiss din naman pala ako ng mokong!

O siya yun na muna hehe madami pa akong lalakarin today. Bisi-bisihan ang drama ko!