December 29, 2009

One Fine Night

I was in a hurry to go home after my 2 to 10pm duty tonight, I need to buy some food since I was like a poor homeless guy who have nothing to eat for the next day!haha. So after my service dropped me to my accommodation, I just took off my scrubsuit and run to the elevator, I need to hurry up because I'm not sure if the Filipino grocery on the next street is open till this time.

When I reached the ground floor and the elevator opened I was surprised to see Darkguy coming out from the other elevator beside mine! It obvious he's going somewhere, somewhere near, just like me. He looked surprised too. Its been a week since we last talked and see each other. We had different schedule and I was assigned to other ICU's all week long.

"Where are you going?" I hesitantly asked him while we walked out of the lobby. He's wearing a short and a jacket. Yun parang kapote ang tela!LOL (cheap ha!)

"I'm going to G-mart..." he said. Oh no! that's where exactly am heading! Is this a joke or what??!!

"You're stalking me, I'm going there too" --me

"KAPAL MO...asus, if I know you're meeting someone there" (did I sensed jealousy there?hehe)

"What?of course not!"

"Then why you have to put on perfume?" I laughed. I told him of course I need to put on a little, not so confident without it.

Its a long walk from our accommodation to the grocery store and I'm feeling a little awkward and shy...SHY?! I didn't know I'm shy!LOL

So, while were walking like lovers (except that we are not!) under the cold moonlight on the street of Doha, we're talking casually and taking our time to get to our destination. Technically, this is the longest conversation we had...yeah I know, we had sex, but we didn't talk much then. And if we're on our transportation service, its all nonsense and joking with his friends.

The weather here at Doha is so nice now, I'm loving the coldness and the street lights are amazing...Its such a perfect settings, romantic I must say, too bad he's not my boyfriend and he's married.

"what are you going to buy?" he asked

"cookies and cream ice cream hehe, I don't know, I'm craving for it since yesterday" I replied

"at this hour?! you're so childish" he accused but smiling

"paki mo ba..." I said (pa-chute ang potah!LOL)

When we're inside the grocery, I took my time to look around stuffs to buy, I'm expecting he'll go ahead first.

"I'll be at the vegetable store at the other store wait for me there, I'll be quick". --darkguy

After a while, we're both headin' back to our street. I must say we're having a nice conversation. A different side of him. I didn't know he could be this nice. When we're at the elevator again, I felt like suffocating again...its just me and him inside that small space. I imagined some movies I saw where they kissed and make out!LOL

Till he reached his floor and waved goodbye.

I sighed.

December 25, 2009

I Survived on Christmas!

Christmas eve went well last night, as you all know I was on duty, and I'm here at Doha, we are in a hurry to start working so that we could finish early before 12am and eat together at the department, but there are many enemies...the nurses!LOL asking so much of us, pls do this, pls help me with this, pls check patient is desaturating, there's new doctor's order blah blah blah and before I know it, ITS ALREADY 1:00 am!fuckkkkkkkkkk!

But anywayz, we still manage to have a great time, yummy foods, some music and some good talks and laughs. I'm glad I'm on duty instead of being off and just stayed home all by myself (teka, kanta yun a LOL).

My sister is killing me when she told me they're having crispy pata, cakes, buko salad, carbonara etc. I miss pork!!!!!!!! (does dick counts as pork?LOL)

Anyway, I need to go to sleep now, still night shift later.Yeah I know, I'm just going to sleep this Christmas, hooo-hooo how exciting!!!

Merry Christmas to all of you guys!

December 22, 2009

Will I Be Lonely?

Christmas is just around the corner, and I know everyone must've been busy, excited, doing their own shopping, gift buying, it could be so much fun...except that, I am not there. I am in a foreign land...Qatar.

Although, they said Christmas is just a date, and I am usually at work during the 24th and 25th since I am a practical guy having double pay during the holidays! But now, it would be different, I am not there. I am in a foreign land.

I don't know what to feel, or to expect, will I be lonely? will I cry? parang di bagay sakin ang emo!LOL

I am scheduled to work at night shift tonight till the 25th, we might just bring foods on Christmas eve, we are junior staff so we are the one supposed to be on duty. You know, seniority. I might ask my sister how to do carbonara, or I might buy blueberry cheesecake.

This would be my second Christmas as a single gay guy on the planet. I don't know, till when...I know everyone says its alright to be single, true, but its much better if someone's there to first greet you or would want to celebrate it with you, one who would return the love you give him.

I miss that feeling.

I have so much love to give and I don't know why they don't want it...LOL!

I wanna feel what love is again...can you show it to me?

wait, is that a line from a song? haha



December 21, 2009

A Sweet Torture

Its totally unexpected.

I didn't see it coming. I didn't text or sent any messages for him for a long time.

I was so shocked when my boss assigned me at Darkguy's area! We have 5 ICU here and he is a nurse on one of them... So this is it, I cannot avoid him forever. Its been almost two months since we last had that intimate moment, and I was so successful forgetting him, well, ofcourse I owe some of the credits to Aldwin, who kept me company. Until we had that bitter separation.

My friend told me: goodluck!

She knew about my affair with him. I took a deep breath when I opened the door of the ICU and gather all my self confidence. I spotted him immediately. Wearing his bluish scrubsuit. I pretended I didnt see him or even aware that he's there. I started my rounds, reading charts and signing the medications. One by one, bed after bed, one nurse per patient...

I am uneasy, as I was walking toward his patient. I have to go there. I cannot skip it! I thought I was comfortable with him already. i thought i already broke the awkwardness between us, but what am I feeling right now, did I missed him?

A big fuckin' YES!

I went to his table he was sitting on its chair writing, I took the medication folder from the side and started flipping the pages and signed each meds assigned for me.

"You have been quiet for a while..." he said while still busy writing. I already knew what he was talking about. So he's waiting for my messages?my texts? he noticed I wasnt giving him some attention? hmmm, I was so kilig LOL!

"Been busy with lot of stuffs" I lazily said to him.

"Why did they assigned you here?"

"I dont know with my boss, infact Im not usually assigned here"

"Yeah I've been wondering too...why is that?" he asked, there was a hidden meaning to the question, so he thought I intentionally requested not to be assigned on this area?

"I dont know, Im not the one doing the assignment, you know!" I said. But he looked unconvinced. He made a face.
"Oh, i will talk to your boss and senior staffs to always assign you here!" he laughed.

"Har-har-har" I said and walked away.

The whole shift, our eyes whenever we are on far corner of the room made contact and we're both gonna look away. Damn!

Whenever he needs me, he wont say my name, he'll just say "therapist-therapist, pls put my patient on anothe ventilator mode" its starting to annoy me. He cant say my name! And he kept on asking me where the fridge key for the medications. I already told him I gave it to one nurse!

Even though we're talking, there is this awkwardness between us still, I cannot make it go away, I know he felt it too.

That's why I was so surprised when my colleague told me that Darkguy and 3 others are moving to my transpo!!!! WTF! what happened to their own transpo?!

This is torture!

It was unbelievable when I sat on our van to take us to work and saw him at the back. Its really him. I sighed. I have to see him more often than before. At first I was just quiet and listening to my mp3 songs. Until time after time, he started teasing me with some silly things, he was so talkative when he's with his friends, I'll just laughed with them, they're funny.

But when everyone else was gone and there's only two of us on the van (since we live on the same building) he was sitting at my back and he'll touch my skinhead and said "ang sarap himasin ng ulo mo" then he realized it sounds so awkward, he immediately corrected it and said instead" ang lambot..."

He dont usually sit beside me, his fave place is at the back, thats why when one nurse about to open the door of the van, and I realized (and maybe him too) that she would sit beside me, its like in a flash Darkguy was already sitting beside me, I dont understand why he have to move beside me! Its the first time he did that.

He would usually asked whats my schedule the next day. I dont wanna think of anything else with his actions. I am not going to fall for him...

Before we go to work he usually send messages on my messenger, nothing important, just nonsense...haha. He'll send again after work.

When there are others inside the van, he dont run out of words to say.

But when its time to go inside our flat's building and we have to walk a few meters towards the elevator, he was silent, we are both silent, both of us dont know what to say and it felt like eternity and wished I could fly to reach it in an instant...

Very awkward.

We entered the lift and I felt like suffocating...most of the time, its just the two of us inside...


Whenever I see him, there's always a flashback of his lips and how he hungrily kissed me.

I cannot take it out of my mind! Oh dear Lord!


He said, when he reached his floor.

Related post entries on Darkguy:
The Lucky One..or Not?
A Painful Start
Do You Wanna Do It Again Tonight?
No More, No More
Nice To See You

December 14, 2009

Sleepy and Lazy

Been very busy these past few days, and besides I hate my schedule at work, am always on the morning shift! need to wake up at 4am for everyday like forever!!! and do you know whats the biggest challenge?! taking a shower! LOLLLLLLLLLLL!

Its freakin' cold here in Doha now, every one's wearing jacket and I cant believe its actually raining a few times this week! Rain in the desert?? Good thing I have my heater fixed right away, or else I'll freeze to death inside the shower! wanking doesn't help much LOL!

I suddenly remember our country... oh-oh-oh, I don't want this to be a sad entry, so anyhoooo, my monito on our x-mass party's exchange gift gave me a queen size comforter, and I'm really loving it. Very much needed. So thank you, sir.

Due to my wonderful working schedule, I'm always sleepy at times, too lazy to make a blog entry, I don't know, i spent most of my time sleeping, here's what am doing, I'll wake up at 4am then go to work at 6am to 2pm, then when reached home, I'll just eat something light, then at 4pm I'll take a nap then wake up at 8:00 o'clock, cook my dinner and my baon for the next morning, then sleep again at 12 or 1am and the cycle goes on again.

So basically I'm not so productive at all!

Anyway, I bought a 350 GB external hard drive yesterday, because I'm running out of space to store all of my daily porn downloads LOL! and did I tell you am a TV shows addict! I think I saw almost half of the TV shows shown in the US. Heroes is one of my all time fave, then recently, Glee, but now I think I'm so much in love with The Vampire Diaries! I'm so into Damon! I just love his bad vampire image! so sexy-whooop-so-sexy-whooop-whooop!hahaha

December 9, 2009

Pissed And Curious

Everything was alright a while ago, we were chatting, texting, in fact I almost forgot about what happened that night, until you ruined it.

Pissed off.

That's the right term for what I'm feeling right now.

Why there are people who only sees your fault and not their own?

When in fact you had that fault as a result of what they first did to you? Like butterfly effect. Everything is connected.

Meaning, you did something, as a result... I acted like that.


And what troubles me was, you're putting all the blame on me? Have you analyzed what had happened that night? Did you ever tried to remember moment by moment what had happened? I already told you why I acted like that and you kept on insisting its because of me? WTF! Man, you need to look at yourself. tsk !tsk! tsk!

Damn, the term you used on your messages, wow! really pained me.

Now, you need to go. Out of my life.

Shutting the door now.

Anyhow, change topic before i bore you with my anger hehe. Someone left this message on the comment section of my blog. From an anonymous person. Who could you possibly be?

"I miss you. i wish it didn't end the way it did. I hope you're OK there. Sana natuloy yung pagkikita natin (hope we did see each other) before you left."

Please send me an email and identify yourself? Who knows in the end we are the one for each other! echos!!!!

December 6, 2009

Ginataan And Selfishness

I was so excited that day to cook ginataang sugpo (prawns with coconut milk, one of my favorite Filipino food), its already planned to have the first half for dinner later and the other half for tomorrow. It smells so good and I cant wait for my rice to cook. I put it aside for a while and decided to cook adobo to bring at work tomorrow morning while waiting.

The doorbell rang, I was wondering who it might be, I'm not expecting anyone and besides, I look like shit! with too much spills from cooking and my face are on the highest level of oil production!LOL

When I opened it, there's no one! I looked at the stairway and there he was...came out from hiding: Egay! My annoying and feeling-close colleague at work! damn! What was he doing here???I asked my self. He was the last person I'm expecting to see or to be my visitor at this point in time!

"why?!' I lazily asked

"I wanna come in!" and he just bumped me and invited himself in. "oh that smells good...what are you cooking? i wanna eat dinner here, can I?"

"huh?!" that's all that I said haha

"Come-on, I'm so hungry, I'm your visitor you should entertain me!" he added. I found out that he just moved to my building! Meaning: he's just a few floors away from me!

I run to the kitchen because I could smell my adobo almost burning. He followed me. Then I realized he might see my prawns!

Oh nooooo!

I want them for myself! Not to share with this moron!hahahaha! I hid the casserole behind bottles of soysause and fish sauce and prayed he wont smell it or notice that separate casserole at the kitchen side!LOL

I tried to relax and let him watch my cooking. "that looks good Mac, I'm so hungry. Is it cooked already?lets eat! I'm starving!" he said. I tried to smile and pretend I'm not annoyed. So makapal-face,kairita!

When he came closer to my casserole of prawns I moved on its direction so that my back will hide them from him! LOL

Grabe, am so selfish!

I prepared the table and we had dinner together, my yummy dinner with ginataan that night was ruined because of him! I had adobo instead!

I have big riped bananas too, but its too big and I sliced it into two! sayang naman if di naman niya maubos di ba?LOL

When we finished I said: "OK, you can leave now, I have a lot of things to do"

"why you're throwing me out, I still wanna hang out and watch TV" he protested and he saw my laptop and he recognized a familiar name on one of the people I'm chatting: darkguy. I immediately pulled him away from the screen!

"you two are close? you didn't tell me that you guys are chatting" he added. I denied it, because apparently he moved to that vacant room where darkguy lives! They are flatmates now! And I'm very discreet about our affair and I don't want anyone to know about him especially this talkative and super-annoying-kapal-face-Egay!

"You need to get out now". I dragged him to the door and said bye and shut the door!LOL

December 5, 2009

A Quickie-Post!

Just came home from our VERY early Christmas party, many requested to have it earlier so that those who will be going back to manila to have their holiday vacation be included. We are in charged of the food (5 of us, new staffs) they have this tradition that every time a new comer arrives to the department, they have to do the "pakilala" wherein they have to feed all of the staff! I mean 40 of them!LOL

At least there's five of us, it didn't became that much, each of us contributed to a certain amount and so far they loved the foods!Thanks to my friend who did all the cooking!haha.

The party was awesome, its nice to have this kind of get-together. Had a lot of laugh.

This is just a quick recap of what had happen for the past week:

  • Darkguy is back, and we talk all the time, I see him all the time. I think I'm beginning to have a big crush on him AGAIN.
  • Aldwin left for UAE last weekend for 4 days vacation, without a word of goodbye. Our last night together was not so pleasant before he left.
  • Been short for cash did some shopping (since i thought I'm gonna have much more extra money) and the next day my mom needed money ASAP and have to sent her all of what's left! so now am so poor! waaaaaaa!
  • I'm gonna be on duty night shift on the 24th and 25th!huhu. But I'll be off on the new year's eve though.
I will tell you all of the details next time, so sleepy.