Ang Kupal Mo Lang

When did you realize you were gay?

Or have accepted it?

I was in grade two when the confusion started...

When I was growing up I always think there's something wrong with me. In gradeschool, I was very shy, very close to my mom, I played inside the house with my sister.

I only have one friend, Bert.

Who is very straight by the way hehe.I have a hard time blending with other boys, I always have this feeling that why can't I naturally join them when they play or hang out....it was so difficult for me.It took me a lot of effort to blend in.

I tried so hard to be accepted, but my classmates knew that I'm not like them, they tease, they call me names...you know how cruel kids could be.

I end up playing with my girls classmates, playing Chinese garter, jack stone, paper dolls! which I'm so good at designing their clothes haha. I wanna be a fashion designer when I grow up, told myself! LOL

But I enjoyed playing cars and airplanes too with Bert, he used to come to our house to ask me to play, he was my best friend back then, we go to the same classroom from grade 1 to high school. I don't know, but I always wanted Bert by my side...I had this strange sensations every time my arms or hands rubbed against his...

I found it weird. I was 9 or 10 at that time. I don't even want him to play with other kids. I'll threaten him that I won't speak with him again if he disobey me and would feel very powerful whenever he follows me. Yeah, back then I was a jealous-insecure-manipulative bitch! LOL

God knows I really tried so hard to be straight. I don't want it. I get so mad when someone call me "gay".

My dad was a complete reminder of that, he suspected that I'm gay and he's so furious whenever he sees me with some signs and symptoms of gayness! LOL.

He was so happy when he sees me playing with Bert. For him Bert was a good influence on my masculinity.

Little did he know, I have sexual desires for Bert! siya una kong pinagnasaan, Oo ate Charo.

I wanna see his penis! I wanna see it!!!

One time, I said to Bert

"Tuli na ko Bert" my heart was beating so fast with my plan

"Really? I don't believe you! let me see!"

And I showed my uncut penis at him

"Nah! stop fooling around! you're supot pa like me!

"Can I see yours?" I was dying with anticipation

Its just the two of us at our house that afternoon after school. He pulled down his pants. I couldn't take away my eyes from his dick.

We sat there at the corner, pants down and both inspecting our penises! I pulled the foreskin of my penis and saw the whitish smelly thing on top of it "kupal" he said (smegma)

I wiped it with my finger and to his surprised I put it on his nose!

all of them!!!

I swear, I could still imagine the horror on his face when he realized what's on top of his nose!

When I saw him pulling his foreskin too and scooping his kupal I've realized he'll get even!!!

I ran!!!

He chased me outside the house and was laughing my ass off when he reached for my nose! I covered my face with my hands and he failed!

But some of his kupal was on my hands! I smelled it and I screamed: Ang bahoooooo!!!LOL!

Good thing I have more kupal (oo kupalin ata ako noon) to put at his nose and chased him again!LOL.

Ah! Childhood memories!



excerpt from my post "Gay Childhood, March 2009"

***

It was after college that I finally accepted it...No more dramas, no more pretentions, its time for acceptance. And I embraced the word GAY in my life.

Its just up to me on how will I live my life. I struggled for acceptance from my family and friends, step by step I know I've gained their confidence and trust that I would not screw up my life just because I'm gay.

Tawa pa ako ng tawa nun sinabi ng sister ko na baka naman magladlad ka na ha! For her kasi, kapag nagladlad na, mag papalda na ko, magme-make up...kekembot kembot sa kalsada at babastusin ng mga lalake. Hindi naman ako naging ganun. Powder lang ganyan!LOL

Bading naman tayong lahat, iba iba nga lang ng preferences, effem, straight acting, cross dresser...

Lahat naman tayo gusto ng katawan ng lalaki...lahat, lalo na ng titi! charot!

How about you guys? When did you realize that you are not straight at all? When did you accept it?

Gay Childhood

When did you realize you were gay?

When I was growing up I always think there's something wrong with me.I was in grade two,I grew up shy,very close to my mom,I play inside the house with my sister,I only have one friend,Bert.Who is very straight by the way hehe.I have a hard time blending with other boys,I always have this feeling that why cant I naturally join them when they play or hang out....it was so difficult for me.I tried so hard to be accepted,but my classmates knew that I'm not like them,they tease,they call me names...
I end up playing with my girls classmates,you know,playing Chinese garter (so gay!LOL), jack stone, paper dolls!which I'm so good at designing their clothes haha.But i enjoy playing cars and airplane too with Bert,he used to come to our house to ask me to play,he was my best friend back then,we go to the same classroom from grade 1 to high school.God knows I really tried so hard to be straight.I don't want it.I get so mad when someone call me "gay".

My dad was a complete reminder of that,he suspected that I'm gay and he's so furious whenever he sees me with some signs and symptoms of gayness!LOL. He was so happy when he sees me playing with Bert,one time,i said to Bert "I'm already circumcised" and he was like"really?I don't believe you!let me see!"And I showed my uncut penis at him! "nah!stop fooling around!you're supot pa like me!" and I was like "can I see yours?" at that time there's only the two of us.

We sat there at the corner pants down and both inspecting our penises!I pulled the foreskin and saw the whitish smelly thing on top of it "kupal" he said(smegma) I swiped it with my finger and put on his nose!haha.He did the same and I run,its so grosse!Good thing I have more kupal to put at his nose and chased him again!LOL. I called that game kupalan!hahaha

There was this time,when my mom was taking a nap one afternoon,I wore her old maternity clothes and put some towels inside my tummy and played like pregnant woman!My sister was the doctor and I enjoyed it so much that I got so carried away with the role play "push...push...its coming"my sister said,when I'm about to deliver the baby I screamed so loud like I was really in pain giving birth!"arayyyyy!ang sakitt!!!!"

I forgot that my mom was at the next room and sleeping!next thing I knew she rushed into us and spanked me using her dirty slippers!haha "why are you like that??you really want to get pregnant?!wanna be gay huh!" she scolded me so loud that I cried.Hmmm,memories of my childhood haha.Till college I was in denial,I don't look so gay,I acted straight.I kept on telling my self I'm not gay,i wanna be straight and all,but its useless fighting it,I think I was born this way,and no matter what I do or try to do nothing can change that.
After college that's when I finally told myself.I had enough.I'm tired of pretending.This is me.I'm not straight,hate me or love me.Taray!LOL! I realized being gay was not always have to be dressing up like a big fag or be girly. I still have attraction to women and men.(I had a gf before) I don't wanna wear make ups and all. I like my d*ck and I like fcking other gay men.

Filipino gay are so afraid to be called gay.They get so defensive.They wanna be called bi's. Even if many of them haven't been with a girlfriend or have any interest in girls at all!Duh!Why not search the word bisexual?Discreet gay or a gay guy will be fine.OK?!