Power Punch

I've been bullied since I was a young kid. I was 9 years old when other kids started teasing me about me being gay. They called me names. Teased me. They humiliated me in front of other kids.

It was tough. Kids could be mean and heartless you know.

It made me cry. Made me angry. I was confused. I don't know why I'm different. Why I can't blend in with other boys. Instead I found comfort in the company of girls.

My sister was the one usually defending my honor (honor daw oh! charot!LOL). I know for a fact that I was brave fighting girls but not boys. You know catfight...chos!

With boys I have no strength...I was defenseless...didn't know then that in the future I would also be no match with boys breaking my heart... and the sad part is...they're also gay like me! *sigh*

Didn't know why I love chinese garter. Why I love paper dolls... or why I hated boyscout and camping and jamboree and sports...yeah sports!!! specially basketball!!!

Fucking basketball!!!

My dad even pushed me to join other kids play balls. But I just can't! I can't I told him. And I remembered how my dad used to hurt me with words....words that would cut deep inside my soul.

It took me a while before I could honestly forgive my father for all the emotional pain he had given me.

It took me a while before I could finally accept that i can't do anything about the teasing and the bullying of other young kids. I was a weakling.

This is the part that I learned how to be numb and to not care anymore. It lessen the pain...I guess...

I kept it all inside and dealt it myself...I never told anyone...who would help me, anyway?

This is the part that I played deaf...blind...and insensitive. But there are times that they could still get to me. Still cutting inside me...sometimes no matter how hard you tried to ignore it, but the pain was too great that you cannot let it pass easily...

I was at the school playground after class with my sister on the bike and this kid 2 years older than me annoyingly teased me about being gay and all... I was really trying to ignore him and my sister was defending me once again and he said something that really really pissed me off... I just couldn't control my self...

I said words at him to hurt him back...and he said words to hurt me back more... mas masakit kapag pagkatao mo na ang tinitira e...I don't know. Maybe young gay kids are really sensitive to be teased with being gay at that time, or its just me? I don't know.

I left my bike and walked towards him with clenched fist and I punched him straight at his left eye...

He was in so much pain that he was unable to move or speak anything while holding his other eye...

I myself was in pain too for punching him. I didn't know that it will hurt this bad too. But inside me...I was feeling damn proud. I didn't know how to punch till that day!

yeah I'm the man!

I went back to my bike and told my sister to go. We saw the kid recovering from my POWER PUNCH and running towards me... He wanted revenge!

"Go! Go! Go! let's run! " I told my sister. I'm on a panic. My heart was beating like crazy!

"bilisan mo! ayan na siya kuya!" my sister screamed in horror.

The kid pulled me out of my bike and punched me in the eye too! I was hurt real bad that I was feeling numb. It was so painful. I cried! yeah I cried!

I was not able to fight back. I had no strength at all. The kid run as fast as he could after. My sister threatened him that she will call our cousins and get back at him.

Once again, my sister defended me. She helped me stand up and get back at my bike.

Yeah I was a weakling...









Fuckin' memories! hahaha!

I still see that kid from long time ago. We're still living on the same neighborhood. I've heard he's working on some low paying company in the county. Loser... look at me now!ganda ko! chos! may paghihiganting ganap?LOL

Anyway, have a great weekend guys :-)

Gay Childhood II

Bert and I

I was so grateful for Bert's company,he plays with me almost everyday, we're like the best of friends, we tried all possible game to play. No “Kupalan” this time though hehe. He would stopped by at our house so that we could get to school together. And we would talk about anything, everything.

After school he would say "Mac,lets play later.I'll be at your house" and I was so excited what game should we play. I was like 8 or 9 years old then. We will play at our front yard at the soil we will make roads for our small cars and trucks and it was all fun. I got so possessive of him I don't know, one time I enjoyed so much playing with him when he said "I got to go ,its late" and I replied "what? if you go now I wont speak with you ever again!" and he'll stay.

I felt like I was in control of him, that gave me the satisfaction. That means he don’t want me to get mad at him, I felt important. Until his mom picked him up and scolded and spanked him "its so late why didn't you go home huh?!" and he cried I felt guilty. Its my fault. His mom and my mom are like the best of friends by the way.

One time I invited him to play and he agreed. But he never came, I later found out he was playing with this other kid. I got so mad. I didn't speak with him when he was talking to me.I ignored him. Its my punishment at him .It took 2 days, until I was at our yard playing alone and he run passed by at me and he threw a rock wrapped in a paper .I picked and opened it.

There was a note in the paper:

“Please forgive me.”


Young Threesome

Then I went to his house and found him sitting at their couch alone. I invited him to play and everything was back to normal.Not until one afternoon,we were at my room and his elder brother Dondie came.He was a year older.

Next thing I knew we’re all not wearing our pants!haha.I actually cant remember what we are talking about prior to that and led to it!I just knew that we’re so horny.My god me and Bert was only 9 years old then!We’re all uncircumcised and its so funny!Its like there’s three ant eaters in my room!LOL

It’s a part of Philippine culture that you have to be circumcised before you reached age 12 or something. So my foreign readers don’t be offended. Here, others thought that if you’re uncut they would tease you and would think you are less of a man, I don’t know, I later found out that many men not just here but around the world are uncircumcised.

Back to my story, all I can remember was, Dondie put his penis at my butt and he was just pressing it there and I could feel the raging heat radiating from that part of him, I did it to him too.It was so good. I don’t know where did we get that idea I mean I never seen a porn movie that time!

When its Bert’s turn, I was on my knees and like were on a doggie position when another kid showed out! Its Rick !My neighbor who have a big mouth and a certified bully! He saw us and at my disadvantage! He have proof now that I'm really gay! Because its looks like I’m the one who do the bottoming haha.


Bestfriend No More

Next thing I knew the whole school knew about it! And I cant even show my face to everyone! I didn’t go to school for about 2 days until my mom scolded me and have no choice but to go back. Bert started to be distant, he have a new set of friends now, and I'm left alone, with girls to play with now.

Until we were in high school. He’s like a totally different person, I missed him.I missed my best friend,that he used to be.But I already accepted it a long time ago, since I was 12 years old,that I will never get him back. And I was so surprised that after so many years, just last year,we're both 28years old, he asked me to be his daughter’s godfather…and that gave me tears when I'm alone…

at least he never really forget…