April 16, 2009
Confessions To Ar-Ar
In response to this,I have talked to RR last night.A confession I guess.I asked him would it push him away if he knew that I flirted with someone last night?What would he feel?That I almost have sex with another guy.Then I told him about Nick.
He said " how would you want me to react to it? It's Ok.No biggie."
"But what do you feel?" I asked
"Indifferent.Worried.But indifferent still.What happens in your private time is your own thing.I have no hold against you or what not.So do your own thing".
"That's a relief" finally i said.
"Isn't the relief supposed to be coming from me?Cause you have the tendency to feel the heat when you see him.Isn't that something I, if ever,should be worried about?"
"Its just a sexual attraction.Nothing else.So your still my sweetheart?" this time I'm teasing him
"Well we aren't together, if you decided to go with him, it would hurt but I'd understand,I have no bearing"
And then after a while, he said "meet me tomorrow" and I was like so surprised because I know he's too busy this week and next week was supposed to be our first date.He said he didn't know where that came from.And he said this, that made my heart pumping blood so much that I became dizzy!LOL
"I have tons of things to do,but I know I wont work properly until I get to see you! i want to hug you and be with you and give you butterfly kisses and all i ..want a nice hug and ..i want to see you and cuddle and be sweet and all...."
But I didn't agree to it, I said we'll do it right at this coming Saturday or next week.I don't want a rush date.When were gonna have a short date and he'll be rushing back home to finish all of his school works!He realized I'm right I guess.I might kidnapped him for all I know!LOL