February 11, 2009

Father And Son Story

Are you close to your father? -I'm not.

Do you love your father? -I don't.

Do you hate your father? -not anymore.

I know you're curious about my answers.Well,me and my dad had a very long history of disagreements and fights.We have this big wall between us, its too late to break it now.Even if he's trying to reach out for me,I just can't restart all over it again with him.

I like to watch Variety shows.He gets mad at me.He wants me to watch NBA or PBA!

I like staying home and read magazines and all.He gets mad.He wants me to play with the boys outside.

He wants me to play ball.But I played my friend's balls.LOL

He yell at me.I yell at him.

He said fuck you.I said fuck you too.

He pushed me.I pushed him back.

Everyday was like hell for many years.

My mom,defended me.They fight.

They're separated now.

I left home.He checked me out,because my mom wanted him to.

I hate him so much then.I wanted to put him in an elderly home when he reached old age and will let him rot in hell.And not attend his funeral.

Many years had passed.He accepted my preferences.

But I forgave him.He changed a lot.

I see him everyday.He's just an ordinary person to me now.

Like a neighbor.Like a boarder at home.

He's nice too me now.But I can't be nice to him.

Its too deep.I can't forget it.

I can't eat dinner with him at the other side of the table.

I'll loose appetite.I eat at my room.

He asked something.I answer.Just One word.

I assessed my self.I'm not angry anymore.I just don't feel anything about him.

If he dies maybe I'll cry.Maybe not.

One things is for sure.

I'll die for my Mom.



tsk, tsk...

I hope time will come I'll be reading a different story about you two.

Im sure your mum wishes the same too.

Mac Callister said...

i dont know KJ,atleast im not mad or cursing him like before,i just dont feel anything at all ,it felt like blank.maybe this is the best i can do.i dont know hehe

Elyong said...

"If he dies maybe I'll cry.Maybe not."

You will know, maybe not now... but hopefully it wouldn't be too late...

peripheralviews said...

never close a family in your heart. regardless, how difficult it may be...

family will still be family.

payatot said...

sana kung ano man yung di pagkakaunawaan ay maayos din bago sya mamatay kase sabi mo nga kung mamamatay sya maaari kang umiyak at pede rin hindi na di ba?

patawad lang siguro sa isa't-isa yan..am sure may mali kayo pareho..

Mon said...

I'm sure you'll cry. Tatay mo yun eh... Kaya sana, ok na kayo bago mahuli ang lahat diba? Ika nga tumatanda na mga magulang natin kaya mas mabuti kong sa huling mga araw nila sa earth, puro mga masasayang alala na lang... I've been to that stage as well. I used to be very close with my dad until I was 7. He left me, my sis and my mom for his other family. Peru nag-usap na kami. I've forgiven him.. We shouldn't hold grudges. Kapagod yun eh.. hehe.. Ingats!