October 15, 2010
I'm in love.
I know you all knew that already.
I'm here in Doha, he's in Manila.
But I'm having this thoughts about love.
About Clayton's love for me.
I think I love him more than he loves me back.
Do you get me? is this suppose to be an issue with boyfriends?
Does it matter if the other loves more?
I told myself its silly.
But somehow it gets to me.
I'm the type of person who would like to text my boyfriend. No matter how busy I am, I find time. I love some conversation over text, on free time, like how his day was, what's he doing, or about anything...
But, Clayton don't do that.
I told him how I felt about it. We are on LDR and communication is all I have of him. That's all we could do. No holding hands. No kissing. No love making. All we have is communication.
He said I'm sorry and promised to be my text mate LOL!
And he did.
But why should I need to tell him what he needs to do? he supposed to know that right?
I love chatting with him online during our offs. I'm excited all the time. As if I never run out of topic to talk about. Its like i never want the day to end chatting with him.
Until he would say, Mac, I need to go blah-blah-blah-reasons. I mean we only chat for an hour or two. Its just disappointing you know, can't he feel the same? that he wanted to chat with me as long as it takes? Why am I the only one who have that intention? but I tried to understand. I'm suppose to understand. So I just shook it off.
But it gets to me sometimes.
Yeah, I called on his phone. But sometimes, its nice if the call comes from him, right?
I don't know, but whenever I opened my face book, its like a routine to check his profile page, his shout-outs, his update status, his latest pic uploads.
But its been days before he could check mine. Sometimes I have to tell him that I have a new uploads or whatever, that's the only time he would check it.
It would be nice if he does, right?
Like tonight. Its 6am in Manila. I immediately took my cel and typed these messages:
Nakita ko FB mo kanina, pero malamang di mo pa din nakikita yun mga lumang pictures namin nung bata pa kami! antagal na nun dun di mo man lang masilip! Letse!
Nakita ko tanga! Kasama mo sis mo. Pasko yun at nasa bahay kayo ng tita mo!!!!
Ay nakita mo ba?bah malay ko ba hahaha
Ang tanga mo e kung maka-letse ka... WAGAS! na-i-stress ako sayo kakamulat ko lang. Uggghs!!!
Ok fine! I might be wrong with that one! LOL. but, what I'm trying to say is...
ah, eh, whatever!
Anyway, why am I the only one does those things?
I think about him most of the time, like whats he doing at this moment...
Does it means I love him more than he loves me?
I know these are all simple and petty things, I know. Clayton loves me in his own way. I could sense it. But these little things matters too.
What do you think?
Am I just being silly and i should slap my face for being pathetic?LOL
Or my love for him is bigger than his to me?
If its the case, should I be worried?
Or you think he don't love me at all?
That would be awful!Arrrrghhh!