Regrets?

Did you ever feel that you wish you could turn back time and this time make it right?Or that you wish you didnt do those things and instead did what is best?Well,I do.I always feel this everytime my relationship ends..like now that me and Jaireh are over,I always remember John,my 3rd boyfriend,3 years ago.(Brian one my ex bf was always jealous of him)

I dont know why,if its because I still love him after all this year or that I regret the lost true love that I felt for him or that I know that its my fault that we broke up..i really dont know.
For those four months that were together he showed me love that I never felt and saw with any of my other relationships,he was so genuine of his feelings.

Thats what I cant forget about him.He always sent me his MMS videos declairing how much he loves me how much he misses me..I still kept those videos on my old memory card and keep it secret so that no one can see it..I watch it everytime I think of him.

The last time I talk to him he said he's on a relationship and that they are on their first year...it could have been me i thought to myself hehe,but theres nothing I can do with that,I could only pray and wish that they will broke-up!Kidding!!haha I mean I can only pray that they will be happy.

But anyway life must go on and I need to find my own gay guy hehe.