May 28, 2009

Not So"Gay" Life Afterall

Who says being gay is simple and all fun? I mean straight guys and girls dont know much.We live a life that is happy and a mixture of struggles and hardships.Sometimes I just wish Im straight and get married and have children so that my life could be less complicated. But what can I do?I tried to be straight for 20 years of my life.But felt unhappy.I thought life could be much easier if I just stop denying who I really is and accept the fact that I'm "gay". Well, let me tell you this...Being gay is not so simple after all..

  • A gay man have to stop himself from loving a straight guy. If they can't help it, most of the time they are being abused.You know, financially and emotionally.This I cant allow to myself, but I don't wanna judge others.Maybe they just "love".
  • I have to fight to my family especially my dad's acceptance that I'm not the Junior or the only son he wanted me to be.He have to live with it, that he have "two girls" LOL!
  • When I was a kid I have to pretend that I like airplanes, cars, and balls..when in fact I'm dying to play my sister's Barbie!LOL!!!
  • I have to like basketball too and cheer for the team "Ginebra" when I was watching PBA ( Philippine Basketball Association) with my dad.
  • I have to suppress my erection whenever I'm watching a sexy guy on TV or "beta max" when I was 12 years old haha.
  • I have to stop myself from looking at guys d*cks at the public restroom on the urinals.I mean, this is the hardest ever!I have to gather all my will power and call all saints to do this!LOL ( saint-Rupaul pls guide me!)
  • I have to stop myself from screaming "aayyyyyyyyy" like a lady every time I watch a horror or thriller movies at the cinemas with my straight friends whenever there's a scary scene.
  • I have to stop myself from ravaging a straight male friend who is sleeping over at my house!
  • I have to be goodlooking/gym-fit for other gay men to like me.
  • I have to be numb and insensitive whenever a gay man dump me or rejected me.
  • I have to stay up late and chat to gay channels to get a hook-up or dates (others go to bath houses, gay bars and comfort rooms <-- yuckie to LOL!
  • I cant even kiss or hold the hand of the one I love in public.
  • I have to suck c*ck( I'm not really fond of sucking I get tired easily haha). I have to lick and rim someone' s else ass and kiss his lips after!hahahaha! nakikita ko mata ni umleo na nanlalaki sa sindak while reading this!!!
  • People expect gay men to be successful most of the time.
  • I have a hard time explaining to my friends that I'm into "gays" and not straight dudes instead haha.Because you see their misconception was, if you're gay, it is expected that you like straight guys too."Ano ka tomboy?" I remembered my sister asked me that haha
  • I have to prove to my family that Im not like any other gay men, that became so slutty and f*cks around.
  • I have to show to the world that I dont need to buy or send gifts to someone to be my boyfriend.
  • Have to be so carefull in choosing someone to introduce to your family,you know they get to be so over protective that they thought the guy might be a gold digger or something.
  • I have to be so manly so that I wont be discriminated at work or anywhere.
  • I have to get use to the fact that straight men usually get so affected/too conscious whenever they knew someone gay was around them. I mean there's always the indifference, i dont know about you guys, but i've seen this. What are they thinking?we would take advantage of them just like that?!so kapal ha!LOL
  • I cant even marry the one I love. (What?go to Canada?hehe)
  • Have to convince myself that God will accept me in heaven when I die...Even if Im gay,I live a life that I know according to what is right...except for loving a man.
  • I have to prepare my self that someday possiblity that...I will be old and...ALONE.


Bleeding Angel said...

i miss you so much man....

this is lone of the post that i will remember everywhere i go, esp when i am alone.... but i don't want to die alone samahan mo ko...

Anonymous said...

"i dont know about you guys, but i've seen this. What are they thinking?we would take advantage of them just like that?!so kapal ha!LOL"

Well mac, Korek ka dyan! It doesnt mean that we have to fuck everything that moves right?... hahaha. Were gay, we also have tastes too you know. hahaha.


Hi mac!

Of course you'll go to heaven... pero matagal pa yun. mga 200 years pa siguro.

Anonymous said...

lol... i don't believe that you'd be old and alone if you just quit being sooo picky... lol and yes, you'll go to heaven!

haha... UTI! that's funny!


Mac Callister said...

@bleedingangel--look whose back here haha.I missed you too,and nice words ha bumabawi ka ha dinadaan mo ko sa bola LOL!(ang cute nga ni mr.cute ha!)

Mac Callister said...

@stainedheart--haha you are right my friend! teka himala u have time to read blogs!

@KJ--haha nag panget ko na nun 200 years old!

Anonymous said...

the true worth of a human person is when he is able to accept his humanity in its wholiness irregardless of orientation.
you are what you are and be happy to be who you have become.
Self-respect is a key for others to respect you......
I! let your wings carry you beyond existential reality.

Mac Callister said...

@starfish--hahaha tse!im not picky!wait how did u know i have UTI????

@bluroseguy---thanks!ganda nun ha!

<*period*>; said...


Ming Meows said...

so true!!!!!

hi mac, may itsura ka pla pag close-up..:)

Tizzz said...

So true.

"I cant even kiss or hold the hand of the one I love in public." ---> That's the hardest thing not to do.

"I have to be so manly so that I wont be discriminated at work or anywhere" ---> So true, I hate to do that.

"I cant even marry the one I love. (What?go to Canada?hehe)" ---> Saddest thing being Gay

Summer said...

"I have to prepare my self that someday possibility that...I will be old and...ALONE."

Nangilid ang luha koh dito Mac!=)
And oo nman,ppnta k ng langit.Kaw pa!.hehe Hope to see more Mac.Have a great day.=)

A Writers Den
The Brown Mestizo

Solo said...

Love your post Mac.;D Looking forward on your next post,have a nice day..;D

Travel and Living

Mac Callister said...


@ming meows--haha except that its not me haha its just a model for my blog!

@tizz--yeah i hope that will change as time goes by,or maybe in the year 2050?LOL

@summer--hehe yeah maski ako when writing that there's this silent fear and sadness with that thought...

@solo--thank you for always liking my post!

dencios said...

pag takot sa bakla, bakla yun.

cb :: 林偉文 said...

last two points sent shivers down my spine.

Turismoboi said...

i love thiz pozt

Mac Callister said...

@dencios--haha tumpak!apirrrr!!!

@cb--yeah its sad too,pero i hope everyone will find someone in the long run,anyway we still have our family naman...

@turismoboi--yehey finally he loved my post!hehe

marvin said...

can't think of anything else to add except that we live by the choices we make...and the ALONE part, not everybody will not endure that stage eventually --- straight or not.:-)

Anonymous said...

alam ko tampo ka sakin kasi tagal kong hindi nakadaan dito macmac.

believe it or not, sobrang busy talaga..kapagod ang work ko ngayon dahil dayshift.

i even forgot to greet you on your berdey..ngayon lang tuloy ako nagbabackread..sorry na. :p

how can i make it up to you?hahaha

Mac Callister said...

@flamindevil--buti alam mo!LOL!

ok lang yun ano ka ba,simple lang naman hinihingi kong kabayaran sa lahat ng yun,isang gabi ng kaligayahan pag uwi mo!joke!!!!!!!!!!!hahaha

rik32miles said...

You will not grow old alone..I will hold your wrinkly hands and look into your cataract ridden eyes and will stroke your gray hairs and say " Mac, looks like we made it look how far we'd come my baby!"
I then take your "false teeth" and you will lean over my crouch..hahahahahah
joke lang...hahahah

Mac Callister said...

@rik--hahaha gaga!jusko nabuhay ka after ng hibernation mo ng matagal!

Wilberchie said...

I'd rather live truthfully by being gay, than live a lie acting straight. I so love this post!

Mac Callister said...

@wilberchie--very true my friend!

POPOY said...

"I have to prepare my self that someday possiblity that...I will be old and...ALONE."

yah be ready for that... seems one of your fear ang mag isa.... when u get old...

Josh of Arabia said...

hi mac..good to b back here.