Year 2001, just graduated from college, and text mates was so cool that time, the more, the better, I remember using my nokia 5110 haha my gosh its so big and bulky, only 20 messages can be stored at the inbox!Imagine that!
Meet Jeff, 23 years old that time,a physical therapist, he was a constant text mate and we decided to meet. I'm so excited because he was my first eyeball.In my mind we are good match since we are both therapist. My first on everything...He went all the way to Laguna from Pasay just to meet me.I took him home!(landi noh?!) My parents were both working abroad that time and my sister was out, so the house was all ours!
I was sweating with anticipation, I knew what was coming.This is my initiation. I just don't know how to start it. I left everything to him, since I'm a virgin! We ate dinner and watched tv for a while, I wanted to force him to do it already LOL! "Aren't you sleepy yet?" I asked him "not yet,I like this program" he said.
My manhood was throbbing like crazy inside my pants and he wanted to watch TV instead?! When finally the time came to go inside my room, i felt like having a convulsion with excitement,(as in nanginginig ako!) we're lying on the bed together, close, he moved much closer, i could feel his hairy legs over mine, my gosh, it's ticklish...i love the feeling of someone's skin on me...
That's just the legs mind you!haha. I stayed still, waiting...maybe he got impatient with my mannequin-like-status, he moved on top of me and started kissing me...I don't know how to do it, I just do what he does in return and he moaned with pleasure, so I'm sure I'm doing it right. I love it when he's licking my neck and earlobes...its my weakness haha
"This is your first time, right?" he whispered to my earI started licking his neck too, it tasted salty, i remembered we didn't take a shower first!LOL. What the heck! Just go on lick and eat all the dirt on his body! He licked every area of my hot body too, kidding! i was on top of him, its a great sensation, body to body, heat on heat, till now i can still remember how it felt the first time.
When suddenly he whispered "s*ck me.." and I froze....I don't wanna do it, not yet. I'm not ready. "I can't...I'm sorry..." I hesitantly answered. He looked disappointed, but i really don't wanna do it haha, I never did it before, and I'm sure I don't wanna do it yet. He didn't suck me too, maybe his punishment on me!
He started rubbing his manhood on mine. It made me delirious! It sent a thousand voltage of sensation.Until he came....leaving me wanting more. He said "sorry I cant hold it anymore...." and I stood and said "no, its alright" and went to the bathroom to clean my self from all of his juices LOL! And I'm so pissed he didn't wait for me!I read somewhere that he should wait for his partner to finish too.What an inconsiderate ass hole!
When I came back of the room he was snoring already. I turned off the lights and went to sleep.The next morning,I woke him up,I wanted him to leave while its still dark,I don't want to draw attention from my neighbors and started gossiping about me.He kissed me on the lips before leaving and said "thank you,I had a great time".
I waited for a text after that,but there's none,the next day,still no word from him...I asked "how are you?why are you not texting me back?" In my naive and stupid mind,i thought we could still be constant text mate and do it all again....like boyfriends....instead I received this:
"Its just a one time thing.A one night stand.Forget about me".
Honestly I cried.My first disappointment with gay guys.My first rejection.
I realized I still have a lot to learn. About this gay stuff. About sex and some asshole like him!
I decided that I wont show my real feelings to any guys just like that.
They play around.I will play around too.
For three years,I did.Non-stop sex with every guys I meet.
My sexual exploration.
--to be continued.