March 22, 2011

Should I Give Up?

Its been 2 days since our last date. I haven't heard from him since. I did my usual routine at work at the ICU when Gil noticed me and said: wow, look whose here! I did not expect to see him either on duty that afternoon.

And if Gil is here, it means R.A is on duty too! (Gil is R.A's preceptor)


I looked around...looking for a familiar face, a face that I long to see....


at the station, he looked surprised seeing me too. I cannot tell if that look was from being glad to see me or for fear that Oh-oh-he's-here-look!LOL. Our eyes met and we smiled to each other. I don't know...after our date, it just felt awkward talking or seeing him again.

I kinda missed him. I wanna run into him and give him a tight hug.

Nobody from his colleague at the ICU knew that we had our date last weekend. For them, I'm still getting nowhere on my quest to win his heart!LOL

I didn't stay longer than I used to, I finished up my work and went back upstairs to our unit. I didn't chat with him like I used too. I was trying to read his actions. I'm still guessing if he likes me or not.

I feel so insecure after I noticed his indifference. I wanna scream to his face and yell: what now! But I didn't!

di ko keri hahaha!

On my second rounds. Gil noticed that I'm quiet while doing my work, I'm not like that. We usually have this moment of fooling/joking around and talking some silly stuffs while I'm trying to get notice by R.A at work.

I already had my dinner, but Gil and R.A just about to have theirs. Gil asked me if I wanna eat with them. I said thanks, that they should go and eat for I have things to do. I was waiting for R.A to invite me too, but he was just quiet as if he did not know that I'm there. But I'm sure he knew that I am.

It hurts me that after we shared a great dinner and some time last Saturday, he was acting weird. So I thought to my self, OK, that's it! that's my sign! I should give up whatever hopes I had with him!

I finished up my rounds and my documentation after 30 minutes when they came back...I was at the faucet scrubbing my hands:

"Mac, ganyan ka di ka sumasabay sa min kumain ha!" Gil said
(Mac, you really didn't join us for dinner huh!)

"Busog na nga kasi ako!hahaha"
(I told you, I had dinner already)

I saw R.A passed by but I ignored him. Pretending that I did not see him.


I looked around and saw him.

"Here...take this..." giving me a can of milk for patients on nasogastric tube for feeding!He was teasing me to have it for dinner instead. He was smiling like a small boy, trying to be funny with his super korny joke!

Tinignan ko siya ng matagal. Nakangiti lang siya ng parang engot...

"hmpf! ah ganun take it first!" I replied. I was smiling back at him. He was laughing when he left.

For a few seconds...that brief moment. Everything around us felt so quiet. As if we had our own world. I was looking at his eyes and he was looking at mine.

Yes. It was our moment.

I know. Mababaw ako!LOL

I was smiling on my way out. As if all the worries flew in the air.
hay, shall I stop hoping or what?!

Taena ka R.A! Ginugulo mo ko!LOL


Dahil jan kakanta ako ng:Chasing Pavements!hahaha

(related post about R.A. click HERE)


Desperate Houseboy said...

Just keep on chasing pavements. Even if it leaves nowhere -yun eh kung 19 ka. kung di na, ay ate, go sa iba. sayang ang ganda. (sana mai apply ko din sa kin yung sinabi ko)

Mac Callister said...

@DH--e feeling 19 ako e ano ka bah!LOL salamat sa pagdaan :-)

hard2getxxx said...

baka naman nahihiya siya sa yo baka iniintay ka ang gumawa ng first move.

if his not interested naman then pwede naman siguro kayo maging friends lang

and hanap ka naman ng iba

Anonymous said...

hahaha... nakakatawa para sa akin to.. hahah cause i know someone whose feeling just like you today... hahaha wala lang.... para kayong kambal...

Anonymous said...

Pakita mo lang na wla lang din sa'yo un :)

Madalas yan sinasabi, kakasuka na.

Pero effective pa din :)

Sean said...

kinilig ako dun sa sarili niyong mundo. good luck mac.

Ming Meows said...

prangkahan na teh, he's not into you. marami pang lalaki jan, di ka mauubusan.

c - e - i - b - o - h said...

ginugulo ka niya?? i so loveit mac!! hayaan mu lang,, kahit anung mangyari, if it progresses or not, the least u can say sa huli is you've done ur part,, eeeeeeehhh..

landi mu tlga!!
miss na kita!! ndi na tayo nkakapag-usap!!

Mac Callister said...

@hardtpgetxx--naisip ko din yun,and maybe its his first time to be courted too,kasi tingin ko sa knya mejo naive pa e hahaha!

@kiko--at sino naman yun? :-)

@mr.chan--kunyari di na ko interesado sa knya?hehehe

@sean--me toooooo!!!! LOL. thanks ha!

@ming--madami nga,penge nga ako jan sa listahan mo haha

@ceiboh--nagugulo nya mundo ko hahaha! e ikaw e,dami mo boylets!LOL

Mr. G said...

Yeah, leave it for a while, until he asks bakit hindi mo na sya pinapansin...and there, you will live happily ever after...

Anonymous said...

hayaan mo nga sya. malay mo hanap hanapin ka kapag hindi mo na pinapansin. :)

c - e - i - b - o - h said...

hoy! anu naman madaming boylets,, hindi noh,, saglit ka lang kasi tumatambay sa twitter,, may pattern na un eh..

1. im home, pagod sa duty
2. eating ur meal
3. bye tweeps, tulog na, may XX hours duty pa..


Mac Callister said...

@mr.G--hehehe cge try ko nga magpahabol naman this time!

@jepoy--aba nabuhay!hahaha! oo nga e,thanks!

khantotantra said...

siguro try to foresee, will you end up happy or will it cause you pain.