October 31, 2010

30 Minutes Before My Shift Ends


I looked at the wall clock, it says 5:30 in the morning.

In 30 minutes, my shift will end.

Finally.

I told to myself as I sat on the couch of our department and felt very tired.

In that 3o minutes before my 16hours straight duty from evening to night shift ends, I received a call from the emergency room, the assigned colleague of mine needs help, he said an ambulance will be arriving very soon with two cardiac arrest patients...he cannot afford to assist on those two patients at the same time.

So I responded together with my friend and colleague Dan. We were joking around with the nurses as we wait for the ambulance to arrive.

"Hey Jen, I don't see any face book status update from you? Di kita nararamdaman sa FB!"

"you know me Mac, too busy, after work im dead tired!"

"atleast write something once in a while, a quick update you know....like "pepe maluwang...or perhaps... pepe maga..."

and we both laughed with my silly joke on her until we heard the "wang-wang" of the ambulance, we prepared ourselves for the worst.

There they come like a storm barging in... the emergency medical team, tensed, sweating, and busy rescusitating that 1 year old baby...Oh my gosh... a baby! with all smoke and dirt on his head and body....

"he is a year old baby, found on the floor, a possible case of smoke inhalation, fire on their home, he's non reactive, no pulse, no breathing, pupils dilated, and CPR going on for 15 minutes now..." the canadian nurse endorsed to all of us while shifting the patient to our stretcher.

I took over on giving the artificial airway and breathing for the baby, while the other nurse took over the cardiac compression from the ambulance guy who is soaked like crazy with his own sweat. I always admired them, I mean their job is just crazy! they are the ones who arrive on the scene and give the first aid until they could pass to the emergency room! How cool is that!

I had a heavy heart seeing this innocent baby lifeless while we tried everything to save him. I could see my nephew on him. I know he is someone's baby. I know someone is worried about him and praying really hard to God to save him.

I avoided looking at his face since then...I can't.

1o minutes later, the other ambulance arrived and the other team from the ER prepared themselves to received the patient...

I looked at the patient arriving on the stretcher and I gasped loudly as I saw a 7 months pregnant woman darkened by smokes from the fire, lifeless too, and heard from the endorsement that she is in fact this baby's mom...

Oh no, what happened to both of you and your mom? I whispered at him as if he is alive...

trying to be unaffected by what's happening around me and do my job, there is no time to be emotional at this moment. Every minute counts...

30 minutes before my shift ends...

The room became crazier than ever..I saw everyone running...getting something...shouting to someone...all for these patients on our hands.

3o minutes before my shift ends

Here I am still busy, ignoring the pain on my legs and my tired eyes. We are all tired, but no one complains. We are all doing our best for this baby and his mother and her unborn child.

The doctor run the ECG machine this time...

flat line...

he paused and said: "time of death 6:05 am"

Every one stared at this baby boy's face and stopped from what their doing. The family came rushing and they became hysterical as they realized he is really gone.

"why... why.. you're just a baby..." his father.

I saw the pain on the old lady's face as she kissed the baby's feet...whispering at him. I assumed its his grandmother.

Its heartbreaking. My tears almost fell.

That was a difficult situation to be in.
I hate being affected by other's grief.
I'm sad. I'm down. I've never been affected by patients and relatives for a long time, death is a common thing for me. Ive been surrounded by death all the time. I don't know why now...

I heard another doctor's declaration on the bed nearby:

"time of death 6:10 am"

3o minutes before my shift ends ...

3 lives were gone...

23 comments:

blurosebluguy said...

ang hirap talaga...kaya nga siguro i never have chosen to be in the medical field...di ko kaya ang mga ganyan....

...take some rest mac....

Ms. Chuniverse said...

that is why i cannot work in a hospital. :'(

i can get too emotional or affected by situations like this.

may they rest in peace.

Mac Callister said...

@blu--thanks for being here, you are finally back ha! thats good!hehe

@ms.chuniverse--nun una lagi ako naiiyak nun bago bago palang ako work sa pinas,pero kalaunan nasanay na din,naging manhid na.pero now emotional na naman ako!hahaha

Ryan said...

I can never get used to this. Let's pray for their souls.

dark_knight said...

it's very difficult to be a nurse..

wearing the white uniform makes you a professional and makes you somehow immune to emotions..

not because you want to, but because you have to.

Mac Callister said...

@ryan--yeah :-)

@dark knight--thats very true...

Drei said...

having a patient die is a really heart breaking experience. I always fall into tears pag may nagcocode tapos namatay. Kahit na student nurse pa lang, ramdam na ramdam mo ang nangyayari

Mac Callister said...

@drei--sa una sobrang emotional din ako kada namamatay at nag iiyakan mga relative kakadala talaga,pero u will get use to it soon din naman.

baka kasi buntis ako kaya emotional na naman ako!LOL

orally said...

depressing mac

Chronicler said...

Life in ER..that's how it is. You just have to be strong for the sake of your patients. If they can feel that you are strong enough to save them, they will respond but sometimes some of them will have to go..its their time.

Mac Callister said...

@orally--oo nga e,but i have to share this lang kasi,nalungkot ako...

@chronicler--hey long time no see hehe. oo nga e kaya nga naayaw na ko mag duty sa ER,gusto ko nalang maging regular pediatric icu mas less ang stress dun

Ming Meows said...

Buti na lang. Nakakapagod kaya mag-alaga ng mga patient sa ICU.
Bwahaha(evil laftir).

Soltero said...

parang naimagine kita, isang character sa Grey's Anatomy! ahahha..

pero seriously, kahit cguro gano kna katagal sa ganyang work, di ka pa rin masasanay sa mga heartbreaking losses ng families...

sabi nga nila d2, malaki nga sweldo ng nurses, pero sobrang stressful naman :)

Zai Zai said...

ang lungkot naman..ang hirap ng work mo, seeing people hurt..and die. pero you're there to try to make them well and better! so kudos to you mac :)

Mac Callister said...

@ming--gaga ka!LOL

@soltero--talaga?ako si alex karev?LOL nakakasanay na din minsan kaya lang may special moment cguro yun talagang maaaapektuhan ka.

@zai--kakapagod nga din e.pero ok lang,masaya naman kahit stressful.

P I L Y O said...

dapat teh nag-ala DARNA ka! para ma-save mo ang tatlong buhay.

pinapatawa lang kita.. hehehe.


SMILE and HUGS....

Mac Callister said...

@pilyo--she-ra ako noh!LOL thanks fafa pilyo.

KUMAGCOW said...

Nurse nurse! Nurse! hellllp!!!! LOL

Mac Callister said...

@kumagcow--haha, hoy balita ko nag party pilipinas ka ha!

KUMAGCOW said...

Yeap it was to cover for an event... =)

Redlan said...

now i know nagiging emotinally affected rin kayo sa mga passed away moments. grabe kayo magtago. nakakasakit sa dibdib yan. rip sa mag ina na namatay. hayz

hard2getxxx said...

ang sad naman ng story mo nakakaiyak

Virex said...

aw.. sa work mo talaga, dapat "heartless" ka.. i mean, lagi kang makakakita kasi ng mga namamatay kahit na ginawa mo na lahat ng kaya mong gawin.. its sad, but we have to face life talaga.. though pag inde mo kilala, parang inde masyadong ma-emosyon.. pero what if, kamagaanak mo, or kakilala mo, they died in front of you while saving them.. mas grabe yun. buti nalang inde ako nagwowork sa hospital..

kaya mo yan.. go lang ng go..