April 7, 2010
My mind was made up already when I came in this country to work, that there would be no secret about who I am, about what I am. I don't wanna stress my self anymore on hiding the truth to my Filipino colleague. I'm done with that. I am out to my close friends, but majority are still guessing.
You know, that gut feeling that people talk behind your back asking "is he gay?" and you would do everything to prove them that you're not. You would check on your speech, on your hand gestures, on your walking, or even practice how to scream like a man when watching a horror flick when there's a scary scene!LOL
That's all too stressful!
So I decided, new country, new work place, new people, its high time to start "HONESTLY". I don't mean like announcing to every one or dressing like a she-male! that would get me to prison! toink!
I would still be my own self. But only transparent. I slowly revealed my self, one at a time, like one time I was having dinner with one colleague and I said "damn, I miss my ex boyfriend..." she almost choked after!LOL
Until words passed to one another blah-blah, some said they had a clue already and some doesn't have the slightest idea. They even had a surprise of their life when one of them are mismatching me with this straight guy and I bluntly said :" no, no, I only date gay guys too...."
"Whaaaat?" they asked in chorus with eyes wide open haha. I was like: are these people came from the Jurassic era?! They don't know that there's such a thing as gay to gay relationship. That concept was so new to them. They even expect me to wear make up or to love girly stuffs!waaaaa! I'm still very much of a man! I just love to love a...man.
At least now they knew, thanks to me they gained new information LOL! So, now I feel very free, no worries, no fear of thinking people might think I'm this or like that. Its a wonderful feeling to go to a workplace where you could be your self and wont be denying who you really are.