A Promised Day

Thursday. Its the 26th of November, his birthday. My day off, I remembered this was the date where he invited me to go out for dinner the very first time we ever chat. I waited for him to invite me again or to confirm that we're still going out. When we chat he suddenly logged out, I felt bad. Then a call came, asking me what am I doing, that if I still want to go out that day. I said yeah, I need to send money to my sis, which is partly true and that I wanted to see New Moon too.

He asked, if I will be treating him this time, I said why, its your b-day you should be the one treating me to dinner and the movie. He said no salary yet for him, I gave in, why not, its just 35 riyals per ticket. And besides I really really wanna see that movie (well, if you're a follower of my blog you already knew that am a twilight saga addict) He said a big yessss after.

Before he ended the call he asked me: "What is your duty tomorrow?"( I said 2pm to 10pm.) is it alright if I sleep at your place tonight?"

Well, I was surprised hearing that from him, a little curious of course. But I said yeah, sure.We agreed to meet at my building's lobby after one hour. As I was preparing my colleague called me and asked if we could exchange duty the next day, I said yeah, who would refuse to have a two days off?! not me!haha. But of course I have to pay him on Saturday with a straight 16hours duty too.

We bought tickets first, as I was about to pay he immediately gave his own money to the cashier, I'm confused, I thought I'll buy the tickets for us, he said, he can still pay for it.

We ate dinner then went shopping, he was a little annoyed at me for choosing and going to shop to shop and get nothing! I'm choosing very well, you know haha. He said he's tired already. He was nagging me too for being late at the movie, it was already starting I think 15 minutes when we came haha.

I love it. Jacob Black is so hot! And Edward's lean body oh my goodness....I could get wet by just thinking of them!LOL

As we wait for a taxi, I told him I'm extra off tomorrow. He's scheduled to leave Qatar for 4 days to have his little b-day celebration at Abu Dhabi and Dubai with his friends this Saturday. He told me that weeks ago.

I'm still feeling bad for not getting the clothes I want due to lack of time. He said, we will come back tomorrow and have dinner again.

"Really?we will go out again tomorrow?" I confirmed.

As the taxi lead us to the familiar place, he told me: "Mac, I'll stay at my place instead"

"Huh? why? I thought you'll go at my place?"

"Well, I thought this was our last day, turned out we are still going to see each other tomorrow, so no need for me to sleep over now..."

Then he got out of the car as we reached his place and I went home alone.

Better Off As Friends

After my night duty next day, I was currently sleeping when he ruined it by calling me after 2pm, I only had 6 hours of sleep then, I'm supposed to wake up at 5!!! Damn him! He said he will be at my front door after ten minutes. I said OK, while my eyes still closed. I went back to bed after I hang up.

I heard my loud doorbell, I lazily went to open it for him. "you're very early, you should've come around 5pm!"

"its already 3:00 o'clock, you have enough sleep already" he said while he followed me to my room and he sat on my sofa and felt like a king on it!LOL

I went back on my bed and closed my eyes, my head aches. I had a busy night on work last time. He opened my TV very loud!

"Mac! lets order pizza come on!"

"you go order!" I yell

"you dial the number, this is your house!" he teased. I didn't move, he had no choice, he dialed it himself.

I wasn't able to sleep no more, so I joined him on watching TV and wait for our pizza to arrive. After 30 minutes we are both having fun eating. He was trying to tease me about our text conversation two nights ago, I avoided it and said, lets get it over with, I'm drunk that time LOL!

I could laugh about it already and felt stupid remembering it. I felt fine while we're together, its like we're two friends hanging out and enjoying each other's company. After eating pizza he went to my bed and about to take a nap. "what are you doing?" I asked

"I'm sleepy Mac, I wanna sleep for a while..."

Napakagaling di ba!

"what???! you ruined my sleep and now I'm awake thanks to you, you will sleep on me this time?!I hate you!" I wanna throw a pillow on him

"just for a few minutes, you can join me, if you like" he said. I cant believe this guy!grrrrrrrr! I took a shower instead, took my time. And when I'm about to finish he's joking that there's a ghost on my house. I said "shut up!" haha.

We went to the business street near my area, I have some stuffs that needs repair, like my phone cable extension and he willingly offered to come with me. We went at the supermarket too, since I don't have anything to eat for the next few days. He carried the basket and helped me decide which stuff to take, we decided that we want "tinolang manok" for dinner and he promised he will cook.

We even found this cute guy choosing potatoes and we both admired his cuteness, nagpa-cute pa nga kami e!LOL

The cooking time was fun, we are joking around while I chopped some onions and garlic while he did the ginger, etc. I watched him cook and promised me that it will be good. He even put together the phone cable I bought and fix it for me. He suggested a lot of things to my house and said he will help me.

Well, the tinola was good, I ate 3 cups of rice!LOL. We were laughing so hard at the episode of PBB where Rica was too obsessed smelling Johan's towel with his sweat after a game of basketball!!!

"I told you, we are better off as friends!" he said after a while. I definitely agree.

Yesterday he invited me to see a movie "the box" at the mall and I had him waiting for almost two hours, he was a little pissed ofcourse. What to do, I was so sleepy, that's why I took a nap first before meeting him haha.

The movie was creepy. I didn't like it. We went shopping after. He told me its his birthday this Thursday.

"what?! really? why you didn't tell me sooner so that I have time to buy you a gift" I joke around haha, when in fact I have no plans of giving him one LOL!

"so are you going to treat me on some fancy restaurant on your birthday?"

"I already made my treat, I bought you tickets to the movie, right?" he teased

"What?! just that!No-no-no!" I protested haha.

But I found out he will be busy on his birthday, and he is not sure if I could be squeezed in. Well, that made me sad. But its alright, its his big day, he can choose which ever way he thinks will make him happy. And besides I don't wanna sit around and just be a rebound guy if something went wrong on his plans and be a panakip butas after. I have my pride you know!LOL

If he wants to treat me or not, that's fine by me. I have no more expectations from him.

I still need that great companionship, that great best friend that I wish for. Someone I could talk anything about. Someone who never get tired talking to me. He failed to give me that. I don't know how long this could last, maybe he spend some time with me just because he has no choice whatsoever, or that if ever he eventually made friends here, or meet new crowd, he could hardly remember me, that I don't know.

So, my quest for another guy begins...Toink! ('',)

I'll Say It Anyway

I see him online most of the time, but he never even say hi knowing that he sees me already. Maybe he's too busy, or just really not interested talking to me, that I don't know, I know its too demanding on my side, but damn I want him to talk to me even for a while, not like this ignoring me...I'm pathetic.

One day, I don't know what came to me and suddenly I missed him, my feelings are uncontrollable anymore, I wanted him to know how I feel about him. That I like him. Its like I woke up and I wanted him to know it.

Yeah, I'm impulsive at times, you might say.

I thought its best that he would know. Bahala na...

I texted him "how are you?"

"am good, you?"

"I saw on your face book status that your friends saying you have someone left behind at UAE...am jealous hehe" I tried to make it sound casual

"yeah, but its nothing, I just pasted a quote from somewhere and many of them reacted, its nothing. And besides why you'll be jealous, we're friends, right?"

"but what if, i tell you I like you?" there, I finally said it. I was inside the Pediatric ICU when I texted that, It took him a while before he replied. I know he's thinking what to say or he might be surprised with the revelation. I was doing something when he replied, I immediately went on on the stock room so that staffs wont see me texting LOL.

"you like me? but we're friends...and besides I'm not yet ready for another commitment. Let's be friends for now, who knows eventually it could lead to something special" he said

I was hurt and my pride was shattered.

Hmp, wag ko lang malalaman na magkaka bf ka soon kundi papatayin kita LOLLLLLLLLLL!!! may murderous intent haha. Joke lang!

The next messages I typed was: "OK, now I need to avoid you, I cant be friends with you knowing that I like you, it will be very painful to me seeing you most of the time..." jusko ang drama ko! haha

"but why...I thought we'll gonna be very close friends and now you want to avoid me?" he texted

"I dont know if I can be with you, it will be very hard for me..."-- me. Wow todo na kaartehan ko!

"OK, if that's what you want, good luck. It was nice knowing you mac..." his last text.

I had this sudden strike of loneliness after I read and erased his messages. It took me a while to concentrate on work, but knowing my personality, I immediately adjusted and my emotions shifted to the jolly person that always in me. I'm really thankful I have great colleague and friends on this side of the world.

I erased all links on him. Its my way of forgetting someone. It worked most of the time. I went to bed and the next day I hardly missed him at all!!!Waaaaa! I thought I will be down and aching cause technically he rejected me haha. And my romantic fantasies gone, but where is my pain????

Realization sinked in...that it was just a product of my desire to have somebody so bad that a simple infatuation I felt on him made me say that. A product of the whole week of fun being with him. And he was right, its better we could be friends, and that's what I want from the start, a gay friend like me...

A friend is much better, a good friend wont be too easy to find. A friend stays at your side.

As soon as I realized these, I texted him, I apologized " Aldwin, am sorry for what I said last night..."

No reply. I called. He cancelled. Is he mad? I asked myself.

He texted me "I'll talk to you later, am in a meeting right now".

A whole day have passed and he didn't call back.

--to be continued...