Regrets?

Did you ever feel that you wish you could turn back time and this time make it right?Or that you wish you didnt do those things and instead did what is best?Well,I do.I always feel this everytime my relationship ends..like now that me and Jaireh are over,I always remember John,my 3rd boyfriend,3 years ago.(Brian one my ex bf was always jealous of him)

I dont know why,if its because I still love him after all this year or that I regret the lost true love that I felt for him or that I know that its my fault that we broke up..i really dont know.
For those four months that were together he showed me love that I never felt and saw with any of my other relationships,he was so genuine of his feelings.

Thats what I cant forget about him.He always sent me his MMS videos declairing how much he loves me how much he misses me..I still kept those videos on my old memory card and keep it secret so that no one can see it..I watch it everytime I think of him.

The last time I talk to him he said he's on a relationship and that they are on their first year...it could have been me i thought to myself hehe,but theres nothing I can do with that,I could only pray and wish that they will broke-up!Kidding!!haha I mean I can only pray that they will be happy.

But anyway life must go on and I need to find my own gay guy hehe.

Cool-Off

Today at around 5pm me and my boyfriend Jaireh are on cool-off status,im not happy anymore,we are having troubles with each other,and I dont wanna continue like the way we are now.He is so passive and Im aggressive,Im always the one deciding,I want some one i can debate to,not agree with me all the time,Im the one bringing down the topic to talk about,if I dont say anything we wont have a conversation at all!Im looking for someone who I can have a conversation spontaneously,a fun talk you know the one that I wont notice the time because were having so much fun together you know what I mean,even in bed he's so lousy..Im not actually looking for a hustler type of guy in bed but someone who would flame the fire you know..hayyy as much as i dont want to be alone,i have no choice but to tell him what i feel,and so I did,but he didnt like it,he felt that Im being rude to him..but I said im only telling the truth i dont wanna lie or pretend that everything is fine.Maybe its the difference in personality,I just didnt recognise it coming from the start.
Somehow Im expecting him to say ok,Bhe i'll try to be a bit talkative or try not to be a bit too prude in bed,but instead I didnt heard anything like that,or maybe its how he really is,but i cant be with that type of guy anymore,maybe after a few days I'll officially end it,i'd like to think it a little more time.And so the more than two months relationship is now gone...
Maybe I'll try to be single for now..for a change...

Sasha's not so late b-day celebration

Yesterday i went to ____ City its a two and a half hr commuting from laguna including the traffic to meet my friends,its a late birthday celebration of my friend Sasha last sept 1,she was in singapore at that time so we set the date yesterday instead.

It was so good to see all your old friends,so its was all about catching up with each other and we ate at yellowcab,i loved their ice cream OMG it was so good hehe.Berna told me that she wants me and my ex boyfriend brian to be back together that it will make her happy(she was so close with him when were still together because I used to bring Brian at the hospital when Im on duty)

I told her that I have jaireh already,she asked me if I miss Brian,I didnt answer hehe.A little trivia guys,me and Brian used to be a couple for more than seven months and we broke up last april,I felt a little taken for granted so I broke up with him.

Well,anyway to summarize everything,our little celebration of Sasha's b-day was one hell of a happy and stomach-full day hehe..Happy b-day Sash!!!Ciao!