June 24, 2010

I Brought My Bf Home

This post is about how I came out to my Dad...well, I think so!LOL

Actually we never talk about it at all, but maybe parents do know, especially my Dad, when I was growing up, he noticed some signs that I maybe, becoming "gay". He didn't like it, of course, it will be such a shame for him. Lets face it. Its the truth. I mean who would want a gay kid right? and if ever I would be the first in our family's history of macho man.

He tried to make things right, but I guess he did the wrong way. He tortured me emotionally. He humiliated me in front of family and friends. We always fight, its a word war between us. Sometimes we get physical but I fought back. I am not the battered son. LOL!

I developed this hatred for him. I even cursed him to death at that time. I swore I will take him to the home for the aged institution when he gets older and let him die alone. But that's in the past now. He realized maybe, he cannot do anything about my "fate", or he thought I'm old enough to decide for myself, and that as long as I wont bring shame to my family, he has to accept me. He made an effort to make it up to me. He tried to be a good father. But its ten years too late. The hatred on my part disappeared though.

All his efforts are useless to me now, I will never be close to him like the way he wanted to be. The gap is way too big. We are just civil to each other, that's all I could offer. Anyway, lets go back to the main issue hehe. I always feared what would be his reaction if he finds out about my relationships with other gay men.

That's why I never brought a single guy at home even if I wanted to. Boyfriends come and go. To tell you honestly I lost count! LOL. But this guy came along, Brian...(that was I think around 2006) he was so special to me at that time. I love him dearly and vice versa. I was so fond of him that I wanted my sister to meet him and become a part of my family.

But I was hesitant to, because I don't know how my father would react. It took him a long time to accept (i think so) about my sexuality, but bringing a guy at home, that I don't know if he could take. But I took the risk, I have to find out. It was our barrio fiesta and many of our guest from far places sleeps over at our house.

The first step is introduction: I invited Brian and my father didn't suspect a thing. I introduced him to my sister who knew that he was my boyfriend. He stayed the night. Second step is visibility: After a week, I invited him again, this time stayed for two days. Brian helped my sister with the cooking, taking care of my nephew and Brian even called my father:

"tay, kakain na po...(Dad, let's eat)

The first time I heard him said it, I almost faint!LOL

My sister and Father became fond of him too. I know deep inside him, he knew who was Brian is to me. No words needed. He understood.

One time Brian and I had a big fight that to my anger, I threw him out of the house "lumayas ka ayoko kita makita" (get out of my house, I don't wanna see you) LOL. He was crying and took his things and waited for the jeepney to arrive. I saw my Dad was talking to him. When he was gone, my dad went inside the house and said:

"Why is Brian crying? Did you two fight? Why you made him cry, he's nothing but nice!"

Huwaaaat! I was so surprised! OMG! Brian would love to hear this. LOL

For 8 months, Brian was a part of my family, every weekend, every occasion, he was there. Even to my close friends. When we broke up and the visits stopped, father asked my sister these:

"How come I didn't see Brian this past weeks?"

"I don't know, ask Mac!" but he never did haha.

So that's the story of my coming out, which I'm not sure if its really a coming out story LOL! With my upcoming vacation, when I told my sis and a friend that we would go to the beach, they asked, if Brian will come? I said no.

I told EDC about it, I want him to know what he's up to when he meets my family and friends, he felt the dilemma of being compared to him, I sensed the insecurities. He felt the need to compete with Brian's memory. I just said to him:

"just be yourself and they would learn to love you too like they loved Brian, eventually..."


SOLTERO said...

wow..napamahal na sa knila c brian..that was sweet, ur father asking about brian.

do u have past posts about him? i wna backread hehe...:)

Mac Callister said...

@soltero--yes I did,click mo yun name niya jan sa labels and you would see all post related to brian :-)

Nimmy said...

award naman si brian.

crossing fingers na magustuhan ng family mo si EDC :)

rudeboy said...

Awww, that was so sweet how your father eventually warmed up to Brian. And how this acceptance of him was also an implicit acceptance of your sexual persuasion.

Sounds family, hehehehe.

~Carrie~ said...

Brian was a catch. This is a nice story.

KUMAGCOW said...

Lapit na kasi umuwi...may balak ipakilala ang current LOL tama?! hehe

Echos Erita said...

Sayang naman si Brian. Sayang ang rel. Hindi na ba pwedeng ibalik?

Echoserita's latest blog post: Bata, Bata, Paano Ka Naging Bakla?

JR said...

pakilala mo naman ako ke Brian, ipakikilala ko sya sa family ko para maka pag come out na ako sa Dad ko! nyahahaha..

Yas Jayson said...

sometimes, coming out stories do not need to be loud. they can be as subtle as this.

thanks for dropping by :)

Guyrony said...

My Dad and I will never gonna be close. Ever.

Hehe, on the other hand, thank you for sharing this one. It opened my mind a bit.

Branden said...

u didnt tpdo alot to come out haha

Ming Meows said...

baka mamention ulit ng tatay mo si Brian. Maloloka ako.

Mac Callister said...

@nimmy--sana,at sana maging comfortable din si EDC sa family ko

@rudeboy--I was surprised too with the way they treated brian,its amazing

@carrie--hey thanks!

Mac Callister said...

@kumagcow--may tama ka!hehehe

@echos erita--haha di na sa ngayon e,pero di ako salita ng tapos.as of now edc is my love..

@JR--haha sige bigay ko ad nya!gawin come out instrument?LOL

@yas jayson--true,and no problem i enjoyed ur blog.

Mac Callister said...

@guyrony--you have the same situation as me?

@branden--haha thats true!

@ming--wag naman sana mahu hurt ang asawa ko LOL!

Joyo said...

hehehe naspoiled na kay tatay mo... gudluck ka EDC... :)

Anonymous said...

No more daddy issues! Congrats haha

Nice blog btw

Mac Callister said...

@joyo--yeah goodluck to him,yan din sabi ko ng pabiro hehe

@barrycyrus--hey thanks!

Anonymous said...

ang tapang mo teh... kaso wala na si brian...

bading din ba si brian?

after all naaalala mo pa ba sya macho mac?

namiss ko blog mo...

Chris said...

long time didn;t visit u. How r u?

Mac Callister said...

@livingstain--yeah he is also gay as a matter of fact too gay haha!i like malamya guys,un halata kahit pinipigilan LOL

buti bumalik ka dito,i appreciate it!

@chris--hey im good,gonna have my first vacation after a year in doha and gonna see my EDC and have some boom boom pow all night LOL!

robbyandharry said...

i share your sentiments with my tatay. i dont know how to reveal who i really am. just like you, things like these are taboo in our family. (we also belong to the family-of-macho-man thing hahaha i regret that i didnt had the time to talk about these to him because he died 5 years ago.