March 21, 2012

Ang Kupal Mo Lang


When did you realize you were gay?

Or have accepted it?

I was in grade two when the confusion started...

When I was growing up I always think there's something wrong with me. In gradeschool, I was very shy, very close to my mom, I played inside the house with my sister.

I only have one friend, Bert.

Who is very straight by the way hehe.I have a hard time blending with other boys, I always have this feeling that why can't I naturally join them when they play or hang out....it was so difficult for me.It took me a lot of effort to blend in.

I tried so hard to be accepted, but my classmates knew that I'm not like them, they tease, they call me names...you know how cruel kids could be.

I end up playing with my girls classmates, playing Chinese garter, jack stone, paper dolls! which I'm so good at designing their clothes haha. I wanna be a fashion designer when I grow up, told myself! LOL

But I enjoyed playing cars and airplanes too with Bert, he used to come to our house to ask me to play, he was my best friend back then, we go to the same classroom from grade 1 to high school. I don't know, but I always wanted Bert by my side...I had this strange sensations every time my arms or hands rubbed against his...

I found it weird. I was 9 or 10 at that time. I don't even want him to play with other kids. I'll threaten him that I won't speak with him again if he disobey me and would feel very powerful whenever he follows me. Yeah, back then I was a jealous-insecure-manipulative bitch! LOL

God knows I really tried so hard to be straight. I don't want it. I get so mad when someone call me "gay".

My dad was a complete reminder of that, he suspected that I'm gay and he's so furious whenever he sees me with some signs and symptoms of gayness! LOL.

He was so happy when he sees me playing with Bert. For him Bert was a good influence on my masculinity.

Little did he know, I have sexual desires for Bert! siya una kong pinagnasaan, Oo ate Charo.

I wanna see his penis! I wanna see it!!!

One time, I said to Bert

"Tuli na ko Bert" my heart was beating so fast with my plan

"Really? I don't believe you! let me see!"

And I showed my uncut penis at him

"Nah! stop fooling around! you're supot pa like me!

"Can I see yours?" I was dying with anticipation

Its just the two of us at our house that afternoon after school. He pulled down his pants. I couldn't take away my eyes from his dick.

We sat there at the corner, pants down and both inspecting our penises! I pulled the foreskin of my penis and saw the whitish smelly thing on top of it "kupal" he said (smegma)

I wiped it with my finger and to his surprised I put it on his nose!

all of them!!!

I swear, I could still imagine the horror on his face when he realized what's on top of his nose!

When I saw him pulling his foreskin too and scooping his kupal I've realized he'll get even!!!

I ran!!!

He chased me outside the house and was laughing my ass off when he reached for my nose! I covered my face with my hands and he failed!

But some of his kupal was on my hands! I smelled it and I screamed: Ang bahoooooo!!!LOL!

Good thing I have more kupal (oo kupalin ata ako noon) to put at his nose and chased him again!LOL.

Ah! Childhood memories!



excerpt from my post "Gay Childhood, March 2009"


***

It was after college that I finally accepted it...No more dramas, no more pretentions, its time for acceptance. And I embraced the word GAY in my life.

Its just up to me on how will I live my life. I struggled for acceptance from my family and friends, step by step I know I've gained their confidence and trust that I would not screw up my life just because I'm gay.

Tawa pa ako ng tawa nun sinabi ng sister ko na baka naman magladlad ka na ha! For her kasi, kapag nagladlad na, mag papalda na ko, magme-make up...kekembot kembot sa kalsada at babastusin ng mga lalake. Hindi naman ako naging ganun. Powder lang ganyan!LOL

Bading naman tayong lahat, iba iba nga lang ng preferences, effem, straight acting, cross dresser...

Lahat naman tayo gusto ng katawan ng lalaki...lahat, lalo na ng titi! charot!

How about you guys? When did you realize that you are not straight at all? When did you accept it?

14 comments:

baste said...

ako, I always knew na gay ako since birth. oh diba, inborn. :)

Mark Joe said...

nung college lang ako nagkaron ng doubts. stupid pechay xa!
natanggap ko lang xa mga 2 years ago..

Noel Satera said...

Good Afternoon poh Sir!!

I am Noel and I am a long time follower of your blog,kayo poh ay isa sa mga inspirasyon ko sa pagiging blogger...
Gusto ko poh sana makipag exchange links sa inyo ito poh ang blog ko

http://m2mscandals2012.blogspot.com/

Salamat and more Power

Brian said...

"Yeah, back then I was a jealous-insecure-manipulative bitch!"

Winner! At anong nangyari kay childhood friend, Bert? ☺

Laughing Cow said...

katuwa naman yang kupal memories na yan haha.. ako, kelan ba? naramdaman ko na kakaiba ako when i was in high school. 3rd year. pero in denial pa ko hanggang nakuha ko pang manligaw ng girls til college. then nagkaroon ako ng gf 2nd year college. Nung nagbreak kami, i found comfort joining clans hanggang sa nauwi sa bi-clans haha. Ayun natrigger na at nagtuloy-tuloy ang pagdadalaga ko.. sa ngayon alam na ng mga ka'close ko but i find it very hard to open up to my family, lalo na unico hijo ako. bahala na si batman.

buendiaboy said...

di ko matandaan...pero alam ko bata pa ko may crush na ko na guy...na-accept ko sya nung lahat ng friends hindi big deal ang pagiging gay ko

Alexis Colby said...

Kinder! LOL!

pinagpapantasyahan ko na noon pa lang yung straight friend ko na si Joey. Ahihihihi.

sin at work said...

sooooo.. you did play with airplanes nga with bert. wahahaha chos! :D
love the excerpt :)
as for me nalaman ko na i was gay when i was in grade 4. i was feeling attracted to a gay friend (yeah gay talaga s'ya, alam na ng lahat) pero kasi ang cute n'ya at ang bango. hihihi :)
tapos grade 5 super confirmed na. pag nagbibihis na mula sa P.E. e pag lingon ko nakita ko yung crush ko at mistulang nag-slow motion ang kanyang pag-angat ng shirt. haha :D
like you i wished that i was straight. and like you unica "ihoha" ako haha!
but the only time na na-accept ko ang sarili ko was in college. i saw na nothing's wrong in being gay. things would only turn out to be wrong if you don't present yourself as someone worthy of respect.
anyway, humahaba na ang comment ko, hanggang dito na muna Charo. chos! haha :D

Dyosa said...

I know it already nung nakita ko si Rustom Padilla..pati si Zoren Legaspi...crush na crush ko silang 2 noong 8 yrs old pa ako..hahaha...


Di ko akalain na ung isa eh me tinatagong lihim at ung isa eh napangasawa and dating asawa ni Bebe Gandanghari.

martn14 said...

Bata pa ko, alam ko nang bading ako. Mga babae rin halos kaibigan ko sa elementary, at isang besfriend sa guy. Nung lumipat sa Manila si bestfriend, ayun puro na mga kaibigan ko babae. Tuksuhin din ako nung elem. at High S. years ko. Nung mag-college lang ako nagkaroon ng mga guy friends. Barka-barkada lang(LOL). Nung ma-expose ako sa mga gantong blog lalo na ung mgg, natanggap ko na rin na bading ako. "Coming out to my family", seguro step by step, dahan dahan lang. Alam ko namang alam nila. I joke alot around them about me being a gay.

StarFish said...

MISS YOU TO MAC!!!

StarFish said...

:)

kalansaycollector said...

elem palang alam ko na pero in denial palang ako nun. hehe

high school ko na inembrace ang aking sexuality. and well no regrets. :)

Leo said...

I puked in your first story. What the heck.

Haha.