June 4, 2012

Do I Have The Right?


Is it OK to have fun?

With the current financial state my mom is in right now abroad...

With the health of my brother in law right now. His everyday radiation and weekly chemotherapy...

With the stress my sister are facing right now. Taking care of her ill husband...taking care of the kids...taking care of piles of hospital bills...

The countless trips to government agencies for financial supports...

I know my sister could break down... any minute...but she's hanging in there... fighting. Stronger every day. I thank God for that.

I have been thinking a lot when I'm at home trying to find a solution. Praying.

I celebrated my birthday two weeks ago with just a couple of friends to save money, I don't wanna be wreckless in spending too much, I told myself, its just my birthday and this too shall pass just like any ordinary day and they did impressed me when each one brought foods and drinks just to complete my special day.

I am blessed to have caring and loving friends :-)



Is it okay to be happy?

To be happy with my friends? To go out and hang out with them?

To laugh and crack jokes that as if I'm having the time of my life?

I do feel guilty each time...

I feel that I should be alone...feel whats my mom and sister are feeling right now...lock down myself inside the four corners of my room...



Do I have the right to be OK?




7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mac!
Smile naman jan! In times like those, you have to be strong and appear like one para naman hindi lalo magworry ang family mo. :)

-charles

ShatterShards said...

You always have the right to be happy, no one can take that away from you. It's not like you're splurging like crazy and over your means, you're also sending home as much as you can contribute.

Before you can help others, you should first help yourself. That way, you'd be able to help longer.

rudeboy said...

You shouldn't feel guilty about enjoying a little happiness, especially at this time in your life when a lot of your loved ones are suffering.

I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it's not like you're living it up in reckless abandon over there while everyone else is languishing here. You're doing your best to help, and these little moments of happiness help keep you sane and strong for the long haul.

Contrary to what Ate Shawie might say, hindi mo pasan ang daigdig.

Brian said...

Mac-mac, one needs to breath as well... if you can remember, even Him took rest on the seventh day di ba? ☺ Kaya mo yan, just be strong... for them and for yourself as well.

the green breaker said...

ui mac. you can do this. these are but trials and surely this is not the first time you've had trials. i even have my own share of bad stuff right now.. having fun at times can give us a feeling of guilt but there is nothing good to dwell on the negatives either. you'll surely find a way around this.. :)

Raymond said...

This sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. I hope you'll be well.

Wizzdumb said...

We're on the boat here. It's difficult to be happy when a family member is experiencing tough situations. I go beyond having fun by thinking of the things that make me happy. :) God bless you.