Not So"Gay" Life Afterall

Who says being gay is simple and all fun? I mean straight guys and girls dont know much.We live a life that is happy and a mixture of struggles and hardships.Sometimes I just wish Im straight and get married and have children so that my life could be less complicated. But what can I do?I tried to be straight for 20 years of my life.But felt unhappy.I thought life could be much easier if I just stop denying who I really is and accept the fact that I'm "gay". Well, let me tell you this...Being gay is not so simple after all..

• A gay man have to stop himself from loving a straight guy. If they can't help it, most of the time they are being abused.You know, financially and emotionally.This I cant allow to myself, but I don't wanna judge others.Maybe they just "love".
• I have to fight to my family especially my dad's acceptance that I'm not the Junior or the only son he wanted me to be.He have to live with it, that he have "two girls" LOL!
  
• When I was a kid I have to pretend that I like airplanes, cars, and balls..when in fact I'm dying to play my sister's Barbie!LOL!!!
• I have to like basketball too and cheer for the team "Ginebra" when I was watching PBA ( Philippine Basketball Association) with my dad.
  
• I have to suppress my erection whenever I'm watching a sexy guy on TV or "beta max" when I was 12 years old haha.
  
• I have to stop myself from looking at guys d*cks at the public restroom on the urinals.I mean, this is the hardest ever!I have to gather all my will power and call all saints to do this!LOL ( saint-Rupaul pls guide me!)
• I have to stop myself from screaming "aayyyyyyyyy" like a lady every time I watch a horror or thriller movies at the cinemas with my straight friends whenever there's a scary scene.
• I have to stop myself from ravaging a straight male friend who is sleeping over at my house!
• I have to be goodlooking/gym-fit for other gay men to like me.
• I have to be numb and insensitive whenever a gay man dump me or rejected me.
• I have to stay up late and chat to gay channels to get a hook-up or dates (others go to bath houses, gay bars and comfort rooms <-- yuckie to LOL!

• I cant even kiss or hold the hand of the one I love in public.
  
• I have to suck c*ck( I'm not really fond of sucking I get tired easily haha). I have to lick and rim someone' s else ass and kiss his lips after!hahahaha! nakikita ko mata ni umleo na nanlalaki sa sindak while reading this!!!
• People expect gay men to be successful most of the time.
• I have a hard time explaining to my friends that I'm into "gays" and not straight dudes instead haha.Because you see their misconception was, if you're gay, it is expected that you like straight guys too."Ano ka tomboy?" I remembered my sister asked me that haha
  
• I have to prove to my family that Im not like any other gay men, that became so slutty and f*cks around.
  
• I have to show to the world that I dont need to buy or send gifts to someone to be my boyfriend.
• Have to be so carefull in choosing someone to introduce to your family,you know they get to be so over protective that they thought the guy might be a gold digger or something.
  
• I have to be so manly so that I wont be discriminated at work or anywhere.
• I have to get use to the fact that straight men usually get so affected/too conscious whenever they knew someone gay was around them. I mean there's always the indifference, i dont know about you guys, but i've seen this. What are they thinking?we would take advantage of them just like that?!so kapal ha!LOL
• I cant even marry the one I love. (What?go to Canada?hehe)
  
• Have to convince myself that God will accept me in heaven when I die...Even if Im gay,I live a life that I know according to what is right...except for loving a man.
  
• I have to prepare my self that someday soon..one possiblity that...I will be old and...ALONE.
  

No Fly-Fly For Now

Hmmm,I'm a little worried, I didn't thought it would be this troublesome.I mean they told me it won't be a problem or it will be easy to fix or it wont take a month at all...I'm talking about my working visa. My visa was issued April 29, 2009 and when my agency showed it to me I instantly noticed the wrong spelling of my surname, they told me the HR was already informed about it:

Callister --- Callisetr

This is just an example

That's what kind of error I'm talking about.(wrong spelling of my surname on my visa) My dad told me that its a common mistake from middle east employers.Its about three weeks now, so I'm afraid I wont be able to fly to Qatar before May ends. Sad. To think I'm all set, I already have a pink scarf and maleta na may gulong gulong bah LOL!!! When I call my agency they all say is wait, it will come. I mean WTF? I waited for that visa for three months and now that it finally came, they spelled my surname the wrong way! Waaa!I'm having a bad luck! I don't know how long will it take to correct it.

I did some questioning and one said it will be in a month, one said it will take at least 3 months!(I don't want to listen to him LOL), another one told me that a waiver will be enough since its just an entry visa and once I'm there they will issue a working permit and that's all that important together with my passport.

Hayyy, right now I'm still waiting for a call from my agency.I emailed earlier the HR of my employer at Qatar and did an inquiry about the status of my working visa,I hope they wont find my email a little bothering haha. FYI: I didn't pay a single cent on all of this, no placement fee, all expense paid including the POEA stuffs, just the medical exam.

If you experience the same thing,or any wrong spelling on your visa or info, please give me some advice and some stuff to keep me at peace LOL!

P.S
Special shout out to my YM friends and avid readers of my blog from that side of the planet: A.S of Dubai, A.G of Libya, B.S of Al Ahsa (cute mo LOL). You all know who your are hehe. I'm glad my blog reached you guys there!

A Birthday-Date

My special day finally came, my birthday, and I have a date. I felt excited about it, its been a while since I dated someone. And besides, I had a great time chatting with him for the last 6 days, every night, from 8pm to 5am in the morning.We talked about anything. Its really great!

The venue:Megamall.Since we both have to travel 2hours to go there.That mall is fair enough for both of us.

The time:1:00 o'clock in the afternoon.

I texted him while at the road "what are you wearing?" and he replied " haha I'm wearin' black shirt...a mini skirt and doll shoes, for sure, you'll love it. its cute!" and I was laughing my butt off after reading it!

Unfortunately, I arrived there at 1:30pm (traffic) and he was already there around 12:30pm (he said he's not too excited LOL) But when I was heading to the lobby I opened my phone but it had no signal at all!I tried everything, from turning it off and on, switching connection from automatic to manual. But still no effect. How could I tell him that I'm here?grrrr I thought to myself..I later found out that there was an outage of signals to most Globe subscriber at that time.

I went at the phone booth but there was a long line! I have to hurry up to contact him its already 1:50pm he might go home and cursed me till eternity!haha. I found a lady, she seemed nice. I approached her and said "miss I know its embarrassing, but please can I borrow your cellphone?I lost my signal and I need to contact someone immediately I'll pay how much it will cost you..." and she said "no I don't have any credits to my phone now". Bitch!I whispered to myself.

I went at the guard and he said they are not allowed to have a cellphone while at work.Last attempt,I approached a woman in her 50's with her husband I think, it will be safe right?I mean she had someone with her she would feel safe if ever she's thinking I'm those kind of people whose modus operandi is to borrow cellphone and do their bad intentions the minute they trust them.

But she still said "no ,try someone else" and I felt bad! No one wanted to help someone like me on a bad situation!Waaaa!But I cant blame them, but I looked down to myself, I'm wearing my new and fabulos clothes LOL !Its not even cheap!hahaha. I checked the time, its 2:15 pm!I run to the phone booth and fell in line and prayed that he's still here inside the mall.

I finally able to contact him after 4 attempts and explained what had happened!I'm glad he's still there,I mean, he's waiting for me for less than 2 hours and he stayed!!!!I really thanked God for his patience! There I was waiting for him near the elevator and Jollibee (FYI: di kami dun kakain no!) then I saw someone familiar looking directly at me with a suppressed smile...

Gosh he's cute...I love that smile.I just don't like that bead necklace with a cross he's wearing !its too big LOL. He will kill me once he read this haha.He gave me a gift by the way!Now he's thoughtful too!Another 10 points to think he didn't need to buy me gift in the first place haha(I've searched the net and found it cost! not bad for a first date gift eh.Bad no? sinearch pa talaga!haha)

"Hmp your late!I've been waiting for the longest time!I even text your sister!"

"What?Why did you do that???!" I remember that I used my sister's cell when I lose credit on my own cell to reply to him last time.

"Because I cant reached you.Your phone is off when I tried to call you haha"

"What did you tell her?"

"I said:Is mac there?I cant reach him now and she said:no he is not here,he already left hours ago,you should contact him not me."

And I was laughing when he finished haha "don't text her again, she might have a bad impression on you that you are "feeling-close" already.

WhenI told my annoying sister that I have a date and guess what she told me after "do I know that guy?I should meet those guys you are dating, for all you know they might be a serial killer or thieves you have no idea!" and I was like rolling my eyeballs up to the back of my head listening to her!

We headed at Pizza hut (dun lang kasya budget ko e haha) too glad there wasn't many diners at that time. He sat beside me not on the chair across to me.Hmmm, good.Because if he didn't sat beside me it will be a disappointment! In fact we sat too close. We talked about anything, I love his company.I enjoyed every minute of it. We laughed a lot.I can certainly say there was chemistry and those what they called sparks hehe.

We enjoyed the food too. After a while I noticed other tables around us are occupied with partners.I can say that they are couples, so sweet with one another and guess what...they are all sitting next to each other! Just like us!I whispered to Tom (lets call him that for the meantime hehe) "maybe they are already thinking were lovers too!" and he said "kever!" and we laughed!

After an hour,we headed to the cinemas to watch Angels and Demons. Not that good though,I felt like watching a CSI episode with a Vatican twist! I like The Da Vinci Code better. Anyway,too many people inside I'm worried that I wont be able to take advantage of the darkness LOL!!! I've been wanting to kiss his lovely lips from the resto wondering how they felt like with my lips on it!
I can see that his hands are far from mine that's resting on his armchair haha "how come they aren't close, darn!" I waited for a while until I found the chance.My left hand, gently grabbed his hands (not his c*ck,OK?!) and hold them firmly...I squeezed it and he squeezed them back...I thought he wouldn't like it,I'm wrong he's just waiting for me to make a move..(pa-girl?LOL)

But I needed to be sure haha.I loosened my hold on his hand a little and waited what he will do. He hold my hand back.Tighter.I smiled.Then I moved closer to him and be happy watching the rest of the movie.This time I knew I can't kiss him.Too many people behind and beside us.It will be scandalous! ka-imbyerna!

"I'm glad its going home time hayyy" me waiting for his reaction

"hmmm,were going home yet?So when will I see you again after 3 years?hehe"he said

I pretended I didn't catch it.I wanna read between the lines to be sure if he likes me.I'm certain that I like him.I just need confirmation that he does too.

I sensed that he didn't want to go home yet. So we strolled a little. I want to be with him too. In fact I want to take him home LOL! I walked him at the bus terminal and said goodbye and held his hands while waiting for the right bus.Gosh I wanted to give him a goodbye kiss!haha

"Thanks Mac! I really enjoyed the day. Hope you enjoyed it too... its your birthday and you spent it with me" a text from him when I'm on my way going home to Laguna and he's from Novaliches by the way.

" You can rest now.I know you have work tomorrow" i texted him when he reached their house

"I'll wait for you to get home first"

UPDATE:
Three days after the date,we still chat and yeah we talked about having a relationship,but it just wont work, long distance relationship sucks! We're better off as friends. And the sparks and excitement just faded and died.Too bad hehe.Now, on to the next guy LOL!

Yay!Its My Birthday!

Happy birthday to me...happy birthday,happy birthday...happyyyyy birthdaaaayyy tooo meeee....hehehe.

A little trivia:
One horny night
When my dad's eggplant met my mom's starfish
Equals a million swimmers, one strong enough to reach the mainstream
and an egg waiting in the open
Well, surprise-surprise ---- end product - me!!!!!hahaha

Well I'm 30 years old now and I feel fine about it (weeping LOL)
Hmmm, looking back through the past 29 years of my life
What have I accomplished? Nothing much!LOL
Well, I finished college, worked for a big hospital in the south for five years
gained a lot of friends, some boyfriends, some heartaches.

But what I'm really frustrated about is, I didn't have big savings!
How can you tell if a person is successful?
Through bank accounts? if he owns a big house? if he's promoted on high positions of his field?
Then I would say I don't find my success yet.
I have a long way ahead of me...

I have three wishes for my birthday though:

First, to have good health for me and my family

Second, to find happiness both on my upcoming work and love life(?) but is it true you cant have both?that if you are successful with your career it is expected your lovelife sucks and vice versa?

Third, if i wont find a boyfriend at Qatar atleast I'll find someone to f*ck every two weeks!LOL!

Anyway, this is your chance guys to greet me
No pressure OK (humanda kayo pag di nyo ko greet!LOL)
Goodnight guys, I have a big date later, wish me luck!

Birthday Gift?

"Its my birthday on the 20th hehe wala lang...papansin lang LOL"

I found someone promising, hmmm...*wink-wink*
It started on twitter, he talked to me a little...
Then finally on May 13, he replied on my tweets, got my attention
I left for a while to have my dinner then and I saw a message on my YM account,saying:
"You never came back,I'm waiting for you at twitter..."
Hmmm....demanding haha

I smiled, I saw someone willing to talk to me, really, really wanted to talk to me
I got giddy and all haha, its been a while since I felt this funny stuffs
He said he's been following my blog since November
and that he's been trying to reach me for a while now.
"I read almost everything, from the beginning.
I'm more on the content of your blog"

I saw some of his updates on twitter while were chatting:
"I'm chatting with my dream boy right now... pls bear with me friends,Im busy with him. Gustong gusto ko kasi siya makausap ever!"
I know he's referring to me (ambisyosa ako di bah LOL)
I don't know if its right to flirt with your readers?!haha

Its been 5 days now, everyday were chatting at YM from 8pm to 5am. We even extend our chats till 6 in the morning! he just don't wanna stop! I have to remind him that the sun is up and he needs to go home! He's working on a call center and I kept him company while he works
It felt like I'm working too.LOL. Its a good thing he can chat with me while he work.

What I like about this guy is, he came to me so honest, no fuss at all
He introduce himself, gave me his real name with surname included ha! which is so rare on chatting. he showed me his picture right away too...
Even if I never asked any of them. He could easily talks about his past, his broken family, as if he wants to come clean and open with me. Im impressed.

You have a nice name, I told him
"you'll be carrying my name once were married" he said
And my eyes popped out of its socket and replied
"Waaaaa I don't wanna be the bride!" LOL and he said
"OK,fine, I'll wear the freakin' gown...just marry me!"

Maybe there's a reason why my surname on my visa was misspelled

For me to have more time with this guy?To get to know him more?

I don't know.I'm just too afraid to commit at this point in time.

I don't wanna be unfair at him.We both know I'm leaving soon.

"Don't be so pessimistic.Lets make the most out of this Mac, while it lasts.."

Out of nowhere..I don't know where it came from,I asked him

"Will you be my date on my birthday?"

"sure hehe.I will be your gift, I'll wrapped myself on a big box!"

Boy Meets Boy

When I saw this short film over YouTube I cant help but felt so giddy!(kilig) till it finished!

Its so good and so simple and yet!Kinilig ako ng todo-todo!!!!

You should watch this, you'll like it too. Keep up with the flashbacks.

Just don't mind the white girl I already threw her at the bridge!LOL!

Part 1

Part 2

Now Im going to roll all my stuffs at the bus too!LOL

A Family Show: Goodbye Once Again

Its five in the morning, still dark when I look out the window, I turned off my alarm clock and grab my "piknik" (remember my chamber pot?LOL) and headed out of my room.I saw my mom and dad having breakfast,there's a silent atmosphere in every corner of our house.I sat down and eat "goto" and loaf bread.I felt like choking.

But I pretend I'm not sad at all, don't wanna show them I'm being an "emo" or something.I don't know,why are we too shy to say our feelings with our mother? I cant remember I said "I love you" to her, maybe it sounds so cheesy and corny and all, we are not so used to it, (but i don't have a hard time saying those words when I'm f*cking someone and about to c*m!LOL) but I know I showed it to her on every possible way I can I just cant say it!Damn!

I told her instead "mom, don't forget to bring your face mask and alcohol on your bag OK?"

I hope she got my hidden message. That inside those words I'm saying "mom I love you, please take care of yourself and we will miss you". I'm jealous of other people too comfortable saying I love yous to their mother, or parents, we are just not that vocal about it, but we knew, deep inside our hearts that we do love each other.

We talked about anything inside the car. It was fun.

Then we reached our destination...

NAIA...the airport.

This is the day she's going back to Dubai

Another two years before she come back

Before we go out and hangs out again

I will miss her so much

When she's about to go inside I hugged her so tight and said:

"mother wag ka tatatanga-tanga na naman dun sa eroplano ha!"

And we all laughed and she headed at the entrance.

related posts:
Looks like Insomnia
My Favorite Person
A family show:homecoming
A Family show 1

All The Single Gay Guys...Put your Hands Up!

Do you believe the guy you are with now will be your partner till the end?

Or you knew you will be single from now on?


Why is it so hard to find a gay partner in this life? haha

That is the question I asked most of the time.I'm not that desperate to have one at this point, but think about it, its really hard!

Maybe a hook up was easy but someone who will love you.Nah!

I've been with a few serious relationships before,but still, we end up separated or hating each other. I don't wanna put here how many, but enough for me to look back and smile for some memories when I'm alone and feeling nostalgic hehe.

I even save some photos and videos of them on one special memory card and just insert it on my phone or computer when I feel like watching them, some videos are wholesome some are naughty! Like us kissing or goofing around the motel room and more haha. So if I misplace or lost that memory card it will be a complete scandal!

They said you don't go looking for love, it will find you.Just wait. But is this true? What if I turned 50 and gray and still waiting???LOL

Pao and Randall are so vocal on how they felt about me, but why cant I just like them too the way they like me?

Its ironic don't you think? You like someone and yet he don't like you, and there's some guys who likes you but you don't like them!Waaaaaa!

Being gay in this world is so complicated!

There's a lot of single gays out there and yet we still cant find the right one.

Maybe more singles than in a relationships.But why?

Maybe we're too choosy?

We set our standards so high that nobody qualifies?

Physical looks matters first before we get to know whats inside?

But I've seen some gay couple where the other one is cute and the other belongs to the average level.Some might think they are not a great match. I just thought to myself, maybe the average-looking guy is really special that the cute guy never minds whats on the outside of his partner.

I'm just thinking, now that I'm here in the Philippines were there are too many Filipino gays and still cant find the right guy what more if I'm in Qatar!!!!I might be single there for three years or more!

Well if that will be the case, I'll just focus on work and not think about it, maybe through that who knows there's someone might bumped into me unexpectedly and will be my love.

could be...

A patient of mine...

A doctor from my hospital...

Or a co-employee....

Or ambisyosa lang ako!LOL

My PDOS

Today at 11:10 am I was already at Pasay city and looking at the venue of my Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar (PDOS), it is a requirement for all overseas Filipino worker (OFW) before going to another country to work. It will give you an idea on how it is living on another country, about their rules, laws ,whats not to do and what to do when you reached your destination first time, a pretty helpful thing, I totally agree with the purpose of this seminar.

(requirements for PDOS: referral slip from your agency, ball pen, and a 100 pesos)

I was perspiring all over when I got there, my god, the sun was so angry that he gave all of his UV rays today!LOL. Good thing that the place was air conditioned! There wasn't much eye candies at the seminar, most of my participants are older and are seaman's, electricians, DH's and IT's. I tried to be friendly talking a little to some seated near me and they didn't know what an RT again when they asked me what will be my work at the middle east. Well, whats new anyway!!!

(What the hell is an RT?Read here)

It lasted 5 and a half hours!I almost fell asleep haha.My god, seminars are very good sleeping venue!I paid 100 pesos for the PDOS certificate, then another 100 pesos at that OFW family club thing, that it is for our ID that this guy was telling about, that if we have their ID, they will help any OFW who are in trouble overseas (But what are the Philippine Embassy's for????!I wanted to asked him haha)

In my mind I thought, a little too expensive for just a laminated I.D, there were like 40 people in that room and they could have 4,000 pesos in just minutes wow!!!!20 pesos will be fine, right?! Well, they are NGO's so I just convinced myself that they need funding.But what I don't like about it was, they could have give us an option whether we would like to join the club or not.Not compulsory.

I like the first speaker though from metro bank,(cutie) he told us about their banking system wherein we could send our remittances to our families.Then I got back to myself again when the next speaker talked about sex and AIDS. I already knew what he was talking about, how we could get aids, how to avoid it etc etc.

I'm just bothered by the Tagalog translation haha, you see, when an English word was translated to Tagalog, it gave a very rude, indecent and funny feel to it!Like vaginal secretions--hima, semen--tam*d, and mind you, he said those words so many times that I already got an erection!LOL

sabay sabay tayo: tam*d...tam*d...tamod..ay di ko naalis ang "O" sa last one!!!

Anyway for the sake of sharing information about AIDS I will give you this lists:

• Aids cannot be transferred through kissing or their saliva.
  
• It cannot be transferred through hugging,cuddling.
• You cant get it through nasal secretions, tears, sweats, urine of a person with HIV/AIDS
• Even oral sex are low probability.But I think if you blow someone with HIV and he pre-ejaculated or cum on your mouth that's when the time its scary. So guys be careful with anything you put in your mouth haha.You never know who has it, they looks exactly like us.Like a perfectly healthy good looking guy.They could be the one you picked up on a bath house,a spa,a bar or wherever.
• So wear a condom. Or just be faithful with your partners and if your single since birth, be faithful with your left hand like me LOL!
  
• The only HIV/AIDS transmission would be through, sexual intercourse both vaginal and anal, needle sharing, blood transfusions, and mother to baby. But the probability that the baby could get it if the mother is positive is only 15 to 25% so it is very possible the baby will be aids-free.Wow!
• If wanna get your self checked, you have to wait at least I think 3-6 months after sexual activity since there's this thing called window-period.

Well, that's all in my coconut shell about AIDS, hope it helps hehe. Anyway, the last speaker was a lot of fun,its about foreign language, he taught us some Arabic words like:

• As-Salam-Alaikom which is a general greetings wherever whenever
• kaif al-hal? which means how are you?
• kuayyis which means I'm fine
• shokran which means thank you
• whismak? which means what is your name?
• and you will answer it with esmi mac which means my name is mac

Those are the basics hehe, i bought a Tagalog-Arabic dictionary too. But all in all I'm not satisfied with the seminar, its not as comprehensive as I thought it was. I mean there's a lot of stuffs i wanted to know, like how about the gay scenes there, are gays allowed to wear gowns there?LOL! or can I bring my gay love story DVDs?those wholesome ones of course. Are we allowed to date other gay men there? go to the hotel and spend some night together?(libog na to!LOL) so please if you are a reader of mine from the middle east... help me hahaha!

My Favorite Person

This is not a poem. This is me being really-really serious LOL!

You carried me in your womb for nine months
You feed me from your breast
You nurse me when I'm sick and wounded
You loved me more than you love your self
For this I love you

You tried to understand me when father couldn't
You fight for me in front of him
You chose me over him,I know I'm one of those reasons
Why you lose your love for him when he cant accept me
For this I love you

You tried everything, every job possible to earn money
To send me and my sister to school
You woke up early in the morning to go to the wet market
and spend the whole day at our eatery
You sleep so late while everyone was asleep.

You waited for that lady for two hours
Just to have the money you wanted to borrow
You didn't know that I knew that all along
Up to this day I could imagine you standing in the heat
Because the lady don't want to open the gate for you.

When I wanted to go to college
You applied for a job abroad even if you knew it will be hard
Even if you knew you will be lonely there
Even if you knew you don't know whats waiting there
You always thinks of my future

You always think of our well-being
You are one unselfish person
You are the best person in the world
You are my favorite person in the universe
You are my mother.

I hope you enjoyed the dinner

Happy mother's day to you.

Phone Themes

Im bored and I made myself busy through making themes at ownskin.com for my primitive nokia N70 phone haha, I enjoyed it so much that I lost track of time. Check out some of the stuff I did.


Download To Mobile Phone: flower boy


Download To Mobile Phone: urinals


Download To Mobile Phone: guys in love


Download To Mobile Phone: talk to me


Download To Mobile Phone: mac dance
This one is my favorite hehe.Looks very cool.LOL!

You can check out my themes here.
By the way you can download them at your own phone if you like I wont mind hehe. Supported models are Lenovo P930 Nokia 3230, 6260, 6600, 6620, 6630, 6670, 6680, 6681, 6682, 7610, N70, N72 Panasonic X700 Samsung SGH-D720, SGH-D730, SGH-Z600 or you could try to make your own theme here register first ok. Sometimes I visit zedge.net too, for some cool downloads for my phone all free ofcourse.

Happy and Sad

Finally I have it!

Not the swine flu, but my visa!

I'm still in bed when I received a call at lunchtime yesterday saying "hello,Mr.-------, your visa is here...you need to report at our office asap" and I was like whoa!am i dreaming or what?!

Then I rushed out to the living room and told my mom about it,she's thankful!my sister was like "yehey!now you could get me braces on my teeth!"! ambisyosa LOL!

When the excitement subsided,I felt a little sad and nervous!It means I'm going to fly-fly and be away to everybody for a long time.But I know this is something I really want. Money,savings, buy a house, buy some stuffs...buy a boyfriend LOL!

I went at my agency at Makati today and saw my visa and have some more instructions from the staff, what I really didn't like about it was "your medical exam is already expired, you need to have a new one.It only has two months validity".

And I was like" siyete naman!!!" haha.I don't wanna do it again!damn! I will tell you why i hated the pre-employment medical exam:

• I hated the scooping of my crap when I dropped it on the bowl and put it on a cup!!!its so yucky!!!!
• I hated the long line and waiting and going there early in the morning with nothing on your stomach due to fasting!
• the psychological exam which include answering those abstract thing!it gives me headaches!
  
• And my most hated...the bending back while spreading my ass for the doctor to see my asshole while on physical exam naked!LOL!!!! Taena talaga!

I have to do all of that again tomorrow, its my worst nightmare! God help me survive all of that tomorrow!huhuhu!

They told me too that I could leave the country before the end of the month.Wow this is so in time with my birthday hehe a b-day gift which is on the 20th by the way!so send in your gifts guys!hahaha.

My mom will be leaving on the 16th of May though huhu...so sad she wont be here on my b-day.

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A Family Show: Swimming

Yesterday was our family reunion,through swimming. It was my mom's idea.Wanted to see everyone.Not sure at first to come, cause, I find it really corny! I dont have that sense of family, you know!Kidding!hehe

John Lloyd Cruz--filipino actor

Here are the series of events for that day:

• I was pleased with my get-up.Wearing my new shorts and slippers with my John-LLoyd-Cruz-shades with matching fabulous travelling black bag. I felt really cute...really cute LOL!Then my sister called the tricycle!Yikes!
  
• I saw my former college classmate and friend Makki. We used to cheat together during exams! One time we're too lazy to study all 3 subjects for the exams, we decided to split it into the three of us, I will study sociology, Bob will do political-science and Makki will do Psychology and then, during the exam at socio i will distribute to them the answer by whichever way possible, so that all of us can pass each subject with less subject to study, then Bob will do the same for pol-sci, but when it was time for Psyche, Makki was picked up by the professor to move at the front seat leaving me and Bob at the far back of the classroom!LOL It was so unfair!
  
• Got pissed, we did a headcount last time, a total of 21 relatives on our list, now when our driver fetched them up with our jeep (yeah my jeep kami la kami car, jeep lang na pampasada haha. My mom wanted me to study driving with it!Yuck kaya!), their number increased to 40! WTF! My dad had to look for an extra vehicle for them!(good thing they found a kalesa nearby LOL!)Turned out that my cousin-in-law invited her friends (outsiders) and didn't felt shame knowing that the food and entrance fee will be shouldered by my mom, since this corny event was her idea!LOL And besides doesn't she know the meaning of "family reunion?"
  
• I was bored at the first two hours of being at that resort,I'm not really close to my relatives, to some yes.Its awkward.But I tried to blend in with the others later on.
• I enjoyed the water thanks to my salbabida (life preserver) it was my companion the whole day!LOL
• I noticed my cousin Tabs is so freakin' hot when he took off his shirt !Is it bad to lust on your first cousin?even if you cant help it if he's too damn sexy?!that muscles! that hair on his navel!that bulge on his wet shorts! dear God! Well, he made my day hehe and the three lifeguards too!I kept looking at them secretly at the corner of my eyes!Yeah!!!

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Phased Out

I am not a havaianas addict,you know collecting every thing. Its impractical. I have a pair which I bought around two years ago,(and still in good shape by the way) you know, everyone has it so I bought for the sake of having one LOL! Then I saw a guy wearing this pair last week and I instantly like its simplicity! There's something elegant about it, that little bling-bling haha. I cant stop thinking about it, wanting them so badly!I don't go to much well-designed havaianas, they tend to fade away.

a closer look.the logo is made of silver metal.

I did some online and mall outlet research and found out it was released last year huhu.A limited edition.Why didn't I saw that style earlier!phased out, according to the staff. Not releasing them anymore!This was the result of being such a laid back ass like me, not checking whats hot on the world of "feet" LOL. An online store still have them, but I'm kinda hesitant. Do you know a trusted Filipino website selling genuine havaianas?

So out of rebellion i bought these two pairs instead LOL!

This one glows in the dark.Now I can use them as alternative when i don't have a flashlight LOL

I originally like the black one, but they don't have my size!

No Pretentions

I heard someone was talking to my sister earlier and that someone just sounds so....gay, intrigued that I went to see who it was, he's so loud and proud, even on his get-up, only the dead wont know that he is gay. His gay lingo is so much far advanced than mine. Its like he's from college and I'm still on elementary kind of thing haha. I must admit I don't know much about gay lingo,I don't use them much, the only words I know are itech, chuvaness, chukchak, luz valdez, chika and my favorite chaka LOL!

Anyway, he lives a few houses from us. I saw that kid grow up, I think he's about 21 now. A full pledge nurse now. At a young age he knew and his family knew that he will be a full blown-BB Gandanghari some day.But they didn't mind, in fact they tolerated his gayness to the bones! When he was 5, I remembered his mom carrying him with a pink ribbon on his hair that you could actually thought that he was a girl.

Don-don is his name by the way,they call him Donna now haha.I thought maybe his parents are longing for a baby girl when the mother was still pregnant on him, since their eldest daughter is old enough and with three other male kids. At 8 I saw him dancing with a baton which he excellently knew how to swings and turns with his hands. His macho brothers are not even angry at him, instead they adored him.They didn't get mad when people telling them "oh you brother is gay", they would just answer "yeah, I know".

Seeing Don-don now with his heavy face-foundation and tight-fitting blouse with a fake LV shoulder bag made me smile at him. In fact I feel envious about him. He don't need to pretend to be someone he's not. He don't need to play straight in front of other people. He don't need to worry how to come out to his family that he's gay.No closet issue.It was a problem solved ages ago.His family accepted who he was all along.

It was easy for him.He didn't have the struggles I had growing up. He didn't had those identity crisis. He didn't have to try to have a girlfriend.He knew he's gay. Period.

With that I'm happy for him.

I just hope I'm like him...

Minus the heavy face foundation and the tight-fitting blouse LOL!

Kilig Asian Movie

I downloaded a Taiwanese movie (torrent file) last night not expecting anything from it,whether its good or not, i have no idea.When I finally had the chance to watch it...

Oh My God!

Oh My God!

another one!

Oh My God!!!LOL

It was so good!I fell in love completely with it!

the title: Eternal Summer (Sheng xia guang nian)

It was released October 16,2006.Click the IMDb here

I thought Love of Siam will be my favorite Asian gay themed movie of all time,but i was wrong, this movie was way better! Well, that's for me, I don't know about you haha. Anyway, this movie gave me a lot of mixed emotions, it made me laugh, cry, fall in love, made me horny LOL, and confused!hayyy, to think that the story was so simple.A classic and overused storyline, between best friends since childhood, boy fell in love with the other one, and girl came, love triangle blah blah, but the situations, the settings and the dialogue and the way it was delivered by the writers and directors made this film unforgettable for me!

It was not cheesy at all,even straight guys can appreciate this film,the acting are good,and did I mention that the actors are sooo cute and full of hotnesssss!

When they finally kiss i almost scream with too much excitement!haha.

Hayyy,I wanna watch another movie something as nice as this...

Too bad,they didn't end up as lovers in the end, but hey, the love Jonathan felt for his best friend Shane didn't change the fact that Shane love him as his friend.Hmmm...not bad, at least they are still the best of friends.Got confused by the love making scene though and the way the movie ends hehe.But I still recommend this to everyone!

Read the movie synopsis here.Check out some photos from the movie



Watch the short video here.You'll love this.

My favorite scenes are when they are riding the motorbike and Shane was riding at the back and he lay down his head on Jonathan's back!So cute!and of course the love scene LOL and the beach part,where they confront each other!I cried!

Ive seen:Love of siam, bangkok love story, formula17, no regrets, and boys love. If you know another great asian gay themed movie let me know so that I can see it too!thanks!

Watch some gay movies on the right side of my blog for links.Enjoy!