Afternoon Kiss

Narinig kong ipinasok nya ang susi sa may doorknob at bumukas ang pinto ng room ko. Pumasok si Jojo na nakangiti. Binigyan ko siya ng duplicate ng front at room keys ko. Naka office attire pa siya ng navy blue na long sleeves at black slacks. Poging pogi ako sa knya kapag ganito porma niya.

Na make over ko na din hair niya recently haha kaya ayun pasok sa taste ko. chos.

"Hi mahal ko...musta tulog mo?"

"ayun masarap. mahaba..." sabi ko. Parang ang bastos? LOL

Kasalukuyan akong nanonood ng koreanovela nun na subbed ng english. Yung "Angel Eyes" grabe yun. Keganda. Nakakainlove.

Lumapit siya at lumapit sa labi ko para humalik. Ganun siya tuwing darating. Nag smack. Kaso this time iba ang halik niya. May drag. Pahila. Medyo matagal. May konting sabit ng dila paminsan minsan. haha. Don't get me wrong mas gusto ko yung ganun kesa sa lapat or parang tuka ng ibon na halik. LOL

Dahil chosera ako sabi ko "ano ba yan! natatanggal ang lip gloss ko sa halik mo. ayan tuloy wala na!" maktol ko kunyari. Pero totoong naka lip gloss nga ako.

"E bakit kasi naka lip gloss ka pa e nasa bahay ka lang mahal?" ganting okray niya na natatawa.

"Paki mo ba? e naka foundation pa nga ako ngayon di mo ba nakikita???"

"ano??? bakit naka ganon ka pa?" tawang tawa na nandidilat siya sa nalaman. Napatawa na din ako. Di ko na napigilan.

"pasalamat ka inalis ko na yun rollers sa buhok ko at fake eyelashess! tseh!" irap ko pa. At saka ano ko typical na maybahay? exchuse me. Modern woman ako. charot.

 "kumain ka na nga diyan. Ininit ko na food mo. hmmmp"

"itong asawa ko talaga oh may regla na naman ata" iiling siya na naghubad at kumuha ng pambahay sa cabinet.

Pagkakain niya ng late lunch labi ko naman pinapak niya. Charot.

Enta Habibi

Thank You for sticking up with me kahit anlakas ng toyo ko. LOL

Thank You for keeping me company kahit puyat ka go ka lang para masamahan ako. Mapa grocery, mapanood ng sine kahit di mo bet, mapa galaan sa kung san san. Isa yan sa gustong gusto ko sau. You always wanna be with me.

Thank You for being makulit kasi nalilibang ako. LOL

Thank You for all the time you've given me. Sobra sobra, wala ako maireklamo. I super appreciate it.

Thank You for all your spicy chicken wing adobos, ginataang bilo bilos, turons, shanghai rolls, your delicious ginataang hipon and alimango na to die for. Dinadaan mo ko sa luto e kaya di kita maipagpalit. charot!

Thank You kahit madalas kita awayin dahil lagi mo naipagpapalit ang "E" and "I" sa mga tagalog words mo.

Thank You for making friends with my friends...my sister and everyone around me! ang adik mo lang kasi!

Thank You for laughing at my jokes and all of my kabaklaan. Kunsintidor ka din e lalo na pag ginagawa kong long gown with slit yun scarf ko. Lol!

Thank You for telling the truth pag may kulangot ako in public or pag sobra foundation ko. Chos

Thank You dahil ang linis linis ng banyo ko. O.C ka kasi!

Thank You for making me kulit to send you my selfies kahit ang haggard haggard ng itsura ko sa shift! I always feel na ang gondoh gondoh ko tuloy. hahaha

Thank you for the endless hugging, spooning and cuddling all night. (teka iisa ata meaning nun? LOL) nasasanay na ko na lagi ka kaakap mahal...

Thank you for loving me.

I Love You.

Naks!

Happy Monthsary Monchiko :-)

P.S

nakontra pa siya sa shirt niya diyan. e totoo naman ako lagi tama noh! LOL (bully?)

"Enta Habibi" -- You Are My LOve

"Monchiko"

Kinabukasan ay nagbalik siya sa bahay ko at ang plano namin ay ang magluto ng sinigang. Gusto ko kasi matuto. Tuturuan niya ako. Maiba naman this time. Cooking bonding naman kami. Tutal naman ay may pork pa ako sa fridge. Nakakabili na kasi kami ng pork dito pero kelangan ay may license ka.

Humalik siya sa labi ko pagkasara ko sa pintuan. Hinataw ko siya ng mahina sa balikat bilang pagsaway dahil jeskelerd iskandalosa naman kasi at baka biglang lumabas ang housemates ko at makita kami.

"na-miss kita beh..." sabi niya sabay akap. Napangiwi ako sa itinawag niya sa aking "beh" na gasgas na gasgas na sa pandinig ko. Nagpaubaya lang ako at niyaya na siya sa room ko. Kwentuhan saglit about sa day niya sa office.



Nag grocery kami sa pinakamalapit na supermarket sa bahay ko ng mga kailangang ingredients at supplies ko na din sa bahay. Nakapayong pa nga kami dahil mainit pa din kahit alas kwatro na ng hapon yun. Hanggang sa di talaga kaya lakarin pumara na kami ng taxi'ng dumaan. Natawa pa nga sa amin ang driver kasi few blocks lang naman yun distance!

Cowboy siya at walang keyeme. Hinayaan ko lang siya mamili ng gulay.

Feeling girl naman ako nun hindi niya ako pinagbitbit ng kahit ano sa mga binili namin, may apat na supot din kasi yun.

Tulong kami sa pag prepare ng mga kailangan na rekado. O sige na nga mostly ay siya. LOL Pero sa actual na pagluluto ay ako talaga! Iniinstruct-an lang niya ako. Aba e kedali lang pala ng sinigang na baboy! Wagas! dinamihan ko ang pampaasim dahil ganun ang gusto ko. Yun mapapangiwi ka sa asim! hihihi

Habang nagluluto ay minsan lalabas ang housemates ko at makikita si Jojo. Pakilala ko nalang ay kaibigan ko. Getz na nila yun, di ko na need mag elaborate. Tseh.

Sabay namin pinagsaluhan ang masarap kong sinigang nun maluto. Andami namin nalafang. At talagang bagay kami dahil angtakaw namin pareho. LOL

Habang nakain ay may akbay akbay at paghawak siya sa kamay ko in between. Hinahayaan ko nalang. Although wala pa kaming usapan na mag ano dahil jusme naman, second day palang ito, kahapon lang kami nagkita noh.

Pero alam ko na gusto ko na siya. At siya naman ay todo todo na pinapakita ang pagkagusto sa akin. O di ba ang gondoh ng lola niyo. hihihi

Dun naman nag uumpisa ang lahat. SA "LIKE" then saka na yayabong yun sa love eventually. Basta give it some time. Natatawa lang ako sa knya kasi parang sa kanya ay "kami" na nga kahit di pa ko na "oo".

Pagkakain ay humilata siya sa kama ko na para bang kasambahay ko siya. Natawa ako "oy at home na at home ka a..." biro ko.

"Lika dito tabi tayo sige na beh...." sabay extend niya ng kamay niya na inaaya ako. Kahit napangiwi na naman ako sa itinawag niya sa akin ay sumunod ako.

Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit. At humalik sa labi ko.

"kung magiging tayo ayaw ko ng "BEH" ok? aba'y lahat ng tao ay yan ang tawagan. At ilang jowa ko na ang nagamitan ko ng ganyang tawagan hahaha" kwento ko pa.

"bakit naman? e ano tatawag ko sayo?" 

"saka na ako mag iisip!"

Nag play ako ng movie at nanood kaming magkayakap. Maya maya lang ay naririnig ko na ang marahan niyang pag hilik sa may tenga ko. Tinulugan na ko ni Mokong. Hinayaan ko lang siya at ipinagpatuloy ko ang panonood ng movie.

Namiss ko din kasi itong ganitong may kayakap sa kama. Mas gusto ko yun ako ang niyayakap hihihi lalo na kapag spooning di ba? mas masarap kesa sa ikaw ang umaakap. E itong si Jojo sakto namang hugger so wala akong problema at di siya mangalayin kahit na matagal kong nadadaganan ang arms niya.

Nun medyo late na ay ginising ko siya ng marahan dahil kelangan na niya umuwi dahil maaga pa ang pasok ko bukas.

At eto na naman kami, same as yesterday. Pahirapan na naman siya pauwiin!!! Gusto niya ay dito matulog para daw tabi kami pagtulog.

"e hindi nga ako nakakatulog ng may katabi. I need a good sleep....sige na...bangon ka na..." pakiusap ko pa. Pero sa halip na bumangon ay lalo pa niya hinigpitan ang akap sa katawan ko. Parang batang munti na ayaw magpaiwan sa bahay kapag aalis ang nanay niya! LOL at sa nanay at anak ko talaga kinumpara e noh?

Hindi naman ako makawala dahil ang laking tao ni Jojo kainis! hanggang sa nag galit galitan na ko. Nun makakawala ay tumayo ako at hinila siya pababa ng kama! natatawa ako sa itsura naming dalawa!

Hanggang sa napilit ko din after 15minutes ng malupit na pakiusapan! Grrrrrrrrr!

Kinabukasan ay nasa bahay ko siya ulit! at nun sumunod na araw at nun sumunod na araw at nun sumunod pang araw! as in everyday!!! total of 5 days ata yun! 

Inaraw araw ang panliligaw! 

At sa araw araw na yun ay iba ng iba ang niluluto namin. Hihihi. Nag pork hamonado kami, nag turon kami, nag ginataang bilo bilo na paborito ko din. Nag lumpiang shang hai din kami. Kaya eto ang jubis jubis ko lalo!

at ito namang Jojo gusto daw niya mataba ako. Kainis! kaya bawal daw ako mag diet!

At eto pa hah sa inaraw araw na ginawa ng diyos lagi nalang pahirapan siya pauwiin! kelangan ko na naman hilahin...at kakapit na naman siya ng mahigpit...hanggang sa maggagalit galitan ulit ako. one time pa nga sinipa ko ng marahan para mahulog sa kama! LOL Tsaka lang siya uuwi. Ilang gabi ganun ng ganun! nakooooo! 

At nun ikadalawang linggo mula nun magkakilala kami, nag decide akong gawin ng official ang relasyon namin. Medyo mabilis, Oo, pero jusme naman for 2 weeks napunta siya sa bahay ko araw araw, compared sa weekly or twice a week na ligawan ng iba diyan e super compensated na kami hahaha.

Hindi na ko tinantanan ng lalakeng ito, na aaminin ko na natutuwa ako at lalo ko siya naaappreciate. Super iba siya sa lahat ng naging boyfriend ko before. Pasado siya sa lahat ng requirements ko. haha Kasi yun mga hinahanap ko sa isang guy ay nakita ko naman. So yun. Keri na.

At ang mas importante ay mas gusto niya ako. Yun na! at eto pa, ako ang first boyfriend niya! o bilib na kayo na maganda nga ako? chosssssssssss

Ito yung pic nun gabi na sinagot ko siya. He asked me nun nasa duty pa ako if nag dinner na daw ako. Sabi ko hindi pa. He said pupunta daw siya sa house ko pag uwi ko ng alas diyes ng gabi at dadalhan niya ako ng chickenjoy. Kinilig ako ng mga 10x.

Kaya sabi ko sure na ko na gusto ko na nga siyang maging jowawiz. Tuwang tuwa siya at humalik ng wagas na wagas.

Pero may ipinakiusap ako nun, sabi ko wag niya ko tatawaging "beh"!!!

Sa darating na August ay icecelebrate na namin ang aming first month! excited na si Mokong lagi sinasabi sa akin e!

"Malapit na Monthsary natin...yahooooooo"

And by the way ang naimbento kong tawagan namin e: 

"Monchiko". Na minsan ay nagiging "Monchs" or "monchi"

Hihihi. Para walang kapareho.

Pero dahil pasaway ang jowawiz ko, minsan lagi pa din siya nag be-beh or mahal ko or asawa ko. Hmmmmmmmp!

Payatot

Babala: Cheesy. Malaswa. chos

Paglabas ko ng supermarket ay nakita ko na siyang nag hihintay sa may exit door. Naka shorts siya at naka tsinelas may nakasukbit na katamtamang laking bag. Nanibago ako na makita siyang sobrang casual nun gabing yun. Sa unang dalawang beses kasi na nagkita kami sa loob ng dalawang linggong nakakaraan ay lagi siyang naka pormal na attire. Galing siyang work nun. Ito ang ikatlo na naming meet up.

Sinalubong nya ako ng ngiti at kinuha ang isa sa pinakamabigat sa mga bitbit kong plastic bag na puno ng groceries. Naks gentleman kuno? chos.

wow cute mo ata ngayon koyah. Biro ko. Mas bagay pala sa yo naka ganyan lang e.

So lagi nalang ako nakapangbahay ganun? ganti niyang biro.

Achuwali, wala naman ako maipipintas sa knya. He's kinda sweet din naman. at higit sa lahat ang kulet nya sa whatsapp! haha weakness ko ba yun? chos!

Meet Coy. Payatot. soft spoken. office employee. taga manila sa pinas. Payatot. 5'7. banidoso. hindi marunong magluto (minus 10 points siya dito. chos!) and did i say payatot already? LOL nakilala ko siya apat na araw mula nun makabalik ako sa Dowha. Oo lumandi agad ako. kaya siguro bilis mawala ng homesickness ko! toink!

First time ko siya inimbitang mag overnight sa bahay ko...oo alam na! charaught!

Handang handa na ko noh. wetness na.  feeling ko pa naman e malaki...

ang puso nya!

charot ulet!

E di ba sabi nila kapag payat daw ahem...hihihih

Nagdinner lang kami muna and kwentuhan. Kamustahan about our day ganyan. Lakas magkanin ni tanga jusmio san nya dinadala lahat ng kinakain nya? sa shumod? LOL

I was slouching on my couch while watching the news when he sat beside me. Hinila ko siya patabi sa kin. almost nakakandong na siya sa kin. He planted a small kiss sa noo ko. Lola?

Hinigpitan ko ang yakap sa knya mula sa pagkakaupo namin. Hindi naman siya nagprotesta. I like our position. Saktong sakto siya sa akap ko hehe. Kumikiskis pa ang mga hita namin na mabalahibo sa isa't isa dahil parehong maiksi ang suot naming shorts. Pekpek shorts?

May kiliti lang na hatid ang mga balat namin.

Hindi pa kami nagsex sa sofa ok pero plano ko yun soon. kaya wag kayong atat. LOL

Kausap ko si Aileen sa BBM nun and since halos kandong ko siya ay nababasa siya ang tinatype ko sa keypad ng phone ko.

"sure ka bang single yan ha?baka naman may iba pang syota yan? LOL" si Aileen

"oo naman single toh noh! tse" sagot ko.

Ah, single pala ko? kala ko hindi na e. Nakatingin na sabi ni Coy sa akin pagkatapos nya mabasa ang reply ko sa kaibigan ko. Na-getz ko ang gusto nya ipahiwatig.

Hindi ba maaga pa masyado? sagot ko. kilalanin muna natin ang isa't isa di ba?

OK. sige. since single pala ko. Date muna ko kung sino sino diyan. Banta pa niya. Natawa ako. ang childish nya saka ko binatukan ng mahina.

Wushuuuuu! Umarte naman! tigilan! dagdag ko pa. Ganyan siya. Matampuhin kuno.

Kiss mo nalang ako.

Ayoko. Ano ba kita. Bakit kita kiss noh.

Hinila ko ulo nya palapit sa kin saka ko pinilit abutin lips nya. LOL

Nung mapagapang mga kamay ko sa may shorts nya, naramdaman kong ala siyang underwear!

"aba bakit wala kang brief???"

"para mabilis alisin mamaya" pilyong ngiti niya.

"aba napakagaling mo! akala mo sa kin! easyyyy?!"

Naligo siya bago nahiga sa kama ko. Maaga inantok kaya nakatulog na siya. Sexy'ng sexy siya sa suot na white sando at nakataas ang kamay sa unan. Exposing his armpitt.

Taena. Gustong gusto ko ng kili kili! Kahit di pa antok. Tumabi na ko ng higa sa knya. Niyakap ko siya mula sa likuran.

Nagtutulug tulugan. Inilapat ko ang mga labi ko sa labi nya. Ayaw ibuka. LOL naasar ako. Tinalikuran ko lang siya. Maya maya naman ay siya na umakap sa akin. Yun na ang go signal ko. Inumpisahan ko na lahat ng dapat gawin! LOL

at nung mapagod ako ay humilata ako hinila ko siya paibabaw sa akin. Your turn. Sabi ko.

He licked my neck and earlobes and chest na parang manok na tumutuka. Sabi ko. yan na ba yun? LOL Nakita mo naman ginawa ko sau a... pahimod di ba? wet. ganung lick ang gusto ko. sabi ko ulit. hahaha OO demanding much. E kasi naman alang libog ang pagdila nya. charot

E yoko naman na parang sa rapist...

so para akong rapist kanina ganunnnnn?

Nagawa naman nya right after ng tama. I pushed him down there. naramdaman kong ayaw niya. nagetz ko.

"ayaw mo ko i-suck?"

umiling siya. "di ko kaya"

nabigla ako. uminit ang ulo.

"ano? anong kalokohan yan?"

"hindi ko kaya kaya...galit ka na ba..."

"obvious ba! ano ka straight????aba anung klaseng sex toh?" may diin bawat salita ko. nawalan ako ng gana. nanlambot lahat ng pwde lumambot sa kin. LOL

Muntik ko na siya sipain pababa ng kama hahaha. pero bago pa mangyari yun. i felt his lips down there...unti unti. mahinhin...halatang hindi sanay. hanggang sa tumindig na ulit lahat ng dapat tumindig! infairness swabe....hmmm...atleast nag effort. sige bilhan ko siya ng load mamaya. charot!

anyway basta natapos naman ang maiinit na eksena na may mga ngiti kami sa labi. hahaha. success and pleasurable naman on both sides. maka pleyshurabol naman daw ako e noh wagas.

nakakaloka lang na, mahilig ka sa sex and yet di ka susubo. aba kung alam ko lang e di sana hindi ko na din siya isinubo. hahaha. ginalingan ko pa naman. charot.

Pero since di naman ganun ka importante ang sex sa akin. (hanudaw). e mag move on na tayo sa ibang bagay.

ninenok ko sa FB nya haha shhhh... wag kayo maingay a! masakit ata ngipin sa shot na toh chos!

He kept on bugging me na ano pa iniisip ko na bakit di pa maging kami officially. Dun din daw kami patungo.  two weeks na kami naglalandian kumbaga. Well, obviously i like him. Hindi din naman ako naniniwala sa love at first sight. why not.

Naniniwala ako sa love could be develop. chemistry. hindi maidedeny na swak kayo. sakto. ganyan ang tingin ko. Nagsisimula ang lahat sa LIKE. madami akong LIKE sa kanya, dun ko binabase ang mga bagay bagay. At mula sa LIKE na iyon mag uumpisa ang lahat. dun iinog ang mga bagay na sunod na maaaring mangyari. Hanggang sa hindi ka na halos sanay na wala siya. na hindi siya nagmemessage. na hindi siya nagpaparamdam. na di mo na siya nakikita lagi. at ang selos factor mo. to the highest level na. at higit sa lahat ayaw mo ng mabuhay kapag wala ang etits nya. charot!

siyempre kapag wala ang pagmamahal at atensyon nya. hihihi

Yan na ang sintomas na mahal mo na siya!

Nakow kehaba naman ng post ko na ito. kaya eto papahabain ko pa!

Kinabukasan ko na sinabi sa knya na pumapayag na ko sa gusto niya. ito naman ang reply nya:

***

yessss!!! hahaha...and as if naman may choice ka! siyempre kukulitin kita hanggang sa pumayag ka bwahahaha!
and wow you made me happy. kelangan ko ba umiyak?
dami ko na nasabi bigla! ano ba yan! hehehe

***

o yan na ang istorya ng lovelife kong biglaan hahaha. lets see if aabot ng two months. chos! pakawalangya kasi ng mga kaibigan ko e. alam na alam na daw nila nangyayari sa lovelife ko kapag malapit ng mag two months na e. kainis mga yun tseh!

kontrabida lang di ba!

Sa Araw Araw

Sa araw araw natin pag uusap, somehow nasanay ako na lagi kang may good morning, may goodnight...

May concern sa mga messages mo. Na labis ko ikinatuwa. Na sinuklian ko din naman ng kapwa pag aalala sayo diyan.

Minsan nga inaabot pa tayo ng gabi sa pagkukuwentuhan na wala naman mga katuturan. Kinikilig ako sa mga pambobola mo. Sanay na sanay ka na siguro sabi ko pa sayo, at ako naman ay nagpapadala lang. Nagpaikot.

Nangingiti nalang ako minsan mag isa kapag may sinabi kang nakakataba ng puso ko at nakakahiya man aminin, masaya ako kapag kausap kita.

Sa loob ng mahigit dalawang buwan, sa araw araw nating pag uusap, somehow umasa ako...

Umasa ako na somehow, may namumuo na sa pagitan nating dalawa...sa araw araw nating pag uusap...nahuhulog ako...

Nag iiba ang damdamin ko sa yo.

May kakaibang pintig ng puso...

At akala ko ay alam mo iyon.

Hanggang isang araw, nagtapat ka.

Sinabi mong may kahati na ang puso mo'ng iba.

Nabigla ako.

Nasaktan ng tunay.

Pakiramdam ko, nagdugo ang puso ko sa mga sinabi mo.

I felt cheated.

Sana sinabi mo agad nang sa gayon ay di umabot sa ganito ang nararamdaman ko para sa 'yo.

Akala ko alam mo ang damdamin ko sa yo...mali pala ako.

Masakit mabigo...masakit umasa ng sobra.

Hindi ka din pala iba sa kanila....

Marunong ka din pala manakit Mac...

Bakit ngayong wala na kayo, pagkalipas lamang ng ilang araw ay heto kang muli at nakikipag kaibigan sa akin na as if walang nangyari? Bakit nagtataka ka na kahit papaano'y may inilagay akong pader sa pagitan natin?

Hindi na ako nag gu-goodmorning o kaya nama'y nauunang mag message sayo sa oras na mahawakan ko ang aking telepono...

Manhid ka ba talaga?

Hindi ganun kadaling ibalik ang lahat...Hindi ganun ang mga bagay...hindi ganun ang damdamin ko...hindi isang laruan ang damdamin ng tao na maari mong itapon at muling pulutin kapag wala ng ibang mapaglaruan.

Maybe, in time maibabalik din ang dati nating samahan, ang masasayang oras...pero hindi pa ngayon.

Hindi pa ngayon.

Your friend,

رجل من الجنوب

Sa Mga Bisig mo

Asan siya? Tanung ko sa kapatid ko. Nasa isang isla kami at nagbabakasyon ng ilang araw.

Nandun sa baba nainom daw sabi ni Ate B.

Siya lang?

Oo.

Nagsipaghanda na ang lahat para matulog. Nahiga na din ako pero nag iisip. Inalala ang matinding away namin kaninang tanghali. Nag-sagutan kami sa harap ng mga kasama namin. Nalungkot ako, kasi napatunayan ko na di ko na siya kaya pang pakisamahan pa ng dahil sa nangyari, at may mga iba pang bagay na mahirap balewalain.

Paano mo ba sasabihin sa isang tao na: "Mahal kita...pero hindi na kita gusto pa..."

Lumipas ang tatlumpung minuto...naramdaman ko ang marahang pagbukas ng pintuan ng kwarto namin sa hotel...madilim na sa kwarto ng mga oras na yun, natatanging ilaw sa banyo na bahagyang nakabukas na pinto nanggagaling ang matamlaw na liwanag.

Dahan dahan siya naupo sa gilid ng kama...nakikiramdam...

Nagtulug-tulugan nalang ako...ayoko pa makipag usap sa knya ng mga oras na yun. Nakatagilid ako ng higa patalikod sa knya. Hanggang sa maramdaman ko na lang na humihiga na sa siya sa tabi ko.

Ipinikit ko pa ng maigi ang mga mata ko at pinanindigan na ang pagtutulug-tulugan. Nakakangalay din pala na hindi gumalaw ng matagal,naisip ko nalang. Pero kasubuan na toh!

Mac...

Marahan niyang tawag sa kin.

Halos tumalon ang puso ko sa kaba nun marinig ang boses nya. Hindi pa din ako gumalaw.

Sumukob siya sa kumot ko...lumapit nang maigi sa nakatagilid kong katawan. Pilit niyang isiniksik ang kanan niyang braso sa ilalim ng leeg ko...saka siya marahang dumikit sa nakatalikod kong katawan...ramdam ko ang kanyang dibdib...ang tibok nito...ang kanyang marahang paghinga na bahagyang may amoy alak...

Hanggang sa muli kong maramdaman ang pagdantay ng kanyang kanang kamay sa aking dibdib payakap...

Alam kong alam na niyang gising ako...pero batid kong alam nya na hindi pa ito ang tamang oras para mag usap.

Dinama ko na lamang ang sandaling ito...ang pagkakataon na ito na mag pretend na ayos lang ang lahat...na sana ay tumigil muna ang pag ikot ng mundo at pagtakbo ng oras para manatili kami sa ganitong pagkakataon...

Na sana ay manatili na lang siya ganito ka gentle sa akin...ganito ka loving...masarap damhin ang kanyang mainit na katawan, ang kanyang paghinga sa may batok ko...

Humihiling na sana wag na dumating ang umaga at di na magtapos ang lahat...Mas lalong humigpit ang knyang mga yakap sa katawan ko at saka bumulong ng:


"Mac..Mahal na mahal kita."


Hanggang sa makatulog kaming magkayakap.








Nagtapos ang relasyon na nag umpisa sa matamis na pagsasama at nauwi sa mapait na wakas....Makalipas ang halos dalawang taon, dumating ang oras na nag usap kami, nagkapaliwanagan. Nagkaroon ng closure ang lahat...nasagot ang mga tanong na matagal na naghahanap ng kasagutan...

Naging mabuting magkaibigan...

Nagkasundo.

Naging magaan ang loob muli sa isa't-isa.

Pero sa kabila ng lahat ng pasakit at pangit na mga nakaraan namin...nanatiling malinaw sa aking isipan ang alaala ng gabing yun sa isla sa loob ng hotel room na yun...

Dahil nung mga sandaling yun...nakita ko ang isang bahagi ng pagkatao nya...

Isang mapagmahal na kasintahan.

Sa 'Yo Nga 'To!!!

Hi Mac. Kamusta na yun nililigawan mo dyan?

Ayun basted. Ikaw kasi e...

Bakit naman ako? Wala naman ako ginagawa a...

E kasi kaw, di mo ko sineseryoso, naghanap tuloy ako ng iba dito, ayan tuloy nasaktan lang ako....

Hahaha! Ako pa talaga ang may kasalanan!

Oo ikaw hehe

Wala akong ginagawang masama. At tsaka ang daming nakapaligid sayo dyan...

Wala kaya!

Huh! Nagbabasa kaya ako ng blog mo!!!

Add na kita sa facebook dali! Sabi mo add mo ko . Dali na para di na kita masyado mamimiss kapag magka FB na tayo:-(

Talaga lang ha! I'll think about it.

Ikaw, lagi mo nalang ako binabalewala...

Chick boy ka kasi...

Chick boy ka jan! Naghahanap lang ako ng someone who could make me happy...

Kaya nga di kita ma-add e...kasi andami mong nagugustuhan

Crushes lang naman yun a...

Weh di nga?!LOL

Nalulungkot kasi ako

Ikaw kasi ma-L!

Ikaw nga jan nakakatiis na ilang araw na di ako nakakausap e. Pano pag bf na kita?kawawa naman ako pag nagkataon!

Bakit sinagot na ba kita ha Mac! hahaha

Kakainis ka naman e! Umayos ka nga! :-)

I'm always OK

I mean, ano ba kasi gusto mo sa kin? Tagal mo naman kasi magtapat! hahaha

Gusto ko sa yo? PERA. hahaha

Sapakin kita jan gusto mo?!

Pwde din!

O sige, ano ba gusto mo? Yun di na ko manliligaw ng iba?

Hahaha!

Bakit ba parang ayaw mo na lumalandi ako dito? umamin ka na....uyyyyyyyyyy!

Basta. Just OK

Hay naku!

Mac, wag atat! LOL

Matagal na naman kita kilala e....matagal na din kita gusto....hindi ko tuloy alam if seryoso ka or what...

Im just making sure of myself before i enter into a relationship. At saka hindi ka din naman sure din sa kin e...

E ano na nga? para maka move on na ko sayo haha

Gusto mo naman kasi Mac bigay agad e...hay...

Kasi I thought, we have something...something I could look forward to when I get home...

OK.

Anong OK?

OK.

OK what nga???!

Read between the lines. OK. Bye.




...And He signed out. Just like that.

Paolo...

Alam mo bang nakakainis ka? Bakit ka ba ganyan? Don't you see I miss you and everyday I've been waiting for you to talk to me...you left me last year and now you came back pero ganun pa din...

andamot mo...

kahit konti lang... konti...sana bigyan mo ko ng chance na mapasali sa buhay mo. If you could just let me in.

But then again. You have no time.

:-(

Daddy Is Gay!

He's a great provider...

A good father of a 2 year old cute girl and another one on the way...having a kind and patient wife back home in manila. He is also a good friend to you. You could always rely on him...

But you found out something...

He is gay.

Not just gay, but he is having affairs from one gay guy to another...

He's doing it discreetly, but you still found out.

What would you do as his best friend?

Tell his wife?
who by the way is very dear to you...

Talk to him and ask him to stop?

Would you just walk away?

Or pretend you don't know anything?

I don't know either.

A friend asked me these questions and seeking advice about his gay friend and I don't know what are the right words to say...

Its not wrong to be gay...
but what if you're married?
What if you have a loving family?

You guys, what would you possibly do in this case?
What's the right thing to do?

Commitment Vows

A Filipino blog reader from UK, added me on my instant messenger account and started chatting with me months ago, telling me how he loves my writing, that he read it from the beginning up to the latest!

I was overwhelmed when someone does that (its not a first time though, yabang haha) for a blogger like me, it was humbling, imagine, someone, somewhere out there, paused, and literally stopped their lives and sat in front of the computer and read your entries for many hours?!

Isn't that amazing?!

Anyway, as our conversation got deeper, I learned that he is working there as a hospital staff too, and that he and his partner for I think 5 years now are planning to tie the knot!

Seriously????

It was my reaction when he told me that. Wedding? In our country? It was very bold of them to do that, right?

He cleared to me that it's not a wedding, but rather a commitment ceremony in front of their families and friends and about 5o other guest.

A commitment vow...

Oh my God!

When it all sinked in, my reaction was, wow!!!!

My mouth was wide open and imagined it on my mind and I was feeling like screaming: That's so romantic!

I've never seen anything like that in the Philippines. This reader of mine, got me so interested in their lives that we chat for a long time that night. I'm a sucker for everything romantic!LOL.

I asked him too much, like details, about their families, I mean its not easy to have both parents approval for a gay ceremony like that in our country right? especially, in front of many friends and guest.

I salute them. I gave them too many credits for being bold and for just following their hearts no matter what people say.

He just told me, he is proud of what they have and that's why they want all close to them witness it. On that special day.

I was really happy for them. It was a long distance relationship too, and I could really relate to their story, for many years, they stayed faithful and loving towards each other even they are many miles apart and only spend time together every 6 months or year. Its amazing. It got me more inspired that if others could manage to do it, why can't I?

And to top it all up, they are going to tell to the whole world, in front of families, how they love each other, a commitment to be together, and a promise to be there for each other. After a month, when I catched him online, he told me the ceremony was a success!

Hayyy, I wish I could do that too...

Imagine, a commitment vows...hay...kahit wala wedding pwde na din!

But I know, its so impossible right now, when my dad still a little indifferent about my sexuality, and you have to add my uncles and aunts grrrrrrrrrrrrr! and Clayton's too! His older gay brother disowned by his dad when he found out he is gay!

So I say to my baby: Clay, you gotta hide it better than your brother! LOL

Hay! Buhey!

Love Gonna Find A Way..

Sometimes a little time and space could help both parties to re-think, re-evaluate their own feelings, and to see what are missing...

What are needed to be done in the future...To have a more meaningful and contented relationship...Its just a step to improve each other, a step to know one's weakness.

This might also lead to something awful and sad...

But if both are really meant for each other, no matter what they go through...

No matter what trials they go through...I know

Love will find their own way to bring both hearts together.

Update:
Sept.10,2010 --> Me and clayton are Ok now. I just hope for the best...

Brian...Past and Future?

A day before my flight, (which was august 3) I was having late lunch when my sister arrived but she was not alone. She was with Brian. He was smiling dearly at me and said Hi. I invited him to sit and eat with me. Both of them haven't had lunch yet.

My sister picked him up at the terminal as they were texting each other about his arrival. Very nice, my sister did all of that effort?! Well, what can I say, they love Brian! But he's my ex boyfriend! What would Clayton say? He would be mad as hell if he finds out about this mess my sister did!

So I thought, I wont tell him...yet! LOL

I know Brian still has feelings for me no matter what he said or how he strategically hide it, it was screaming at my face! My dad excitedly welcomed him. My nephew hugged him as if he is his long time good uncle. We talked about anything like two good friends. Its a nice feeling that we're on this kind of relationship.

He knew I have a boyfriend because he saw our pictures together at face book and he told me he also has one. He gave me some advice or I rather say he gave me a sermon...about me being serious this time, stop being impossible, that I should stick to Clayton and no more flirting with other guys.

Of course I'm not like that! Toinks!

Clayton seems to be a nice guy. He commented after we browsed some pictures. I could see he was hurting. But I tried to ignore it. I don't want him to know that I knew. Brian helped me packing my baggage when I said "are we going to have sex tonight?"

"Kapal mo! My bf ka na noh!" he replied

(shut up!You have a bf already!)

I was just kidding when I said that haha.

I went out of the room and chat with Clayton who has no idea that my ex, who by the way was the longest I stayed with in a relationship. Who by the way the only partner that my family ever accepted and liked...till now.

"Why don't you two get back together?" I remembered my sister asked me when we were alone. I just said, its not happening at this moment. I am happy with Clayton.

"Where shall I sleep?" asking me after some time. I said he could pull the mattress under my bed and sleep there. I behaved really well this time. i could have said we will be sleeping on my bed and for sure he won't protest. But I didn't cheat on Clayton. I played really great with this. I thought I won't be able to resist his charm and that butt below my bed and f*ck it! LOL

Me and Brian are great sexual partners before. But I was not thinking of raping him that night haha. I was a gentle gay! haha. (or gentleman)

On my flight, they took me to the airport and I hugged my Dad, my sister and my nephew. Brian was standing at the back. I waved my hand at him to come closer. I hugged him last.

The next day I'm here already at the middle east when we had an interesting chat at Face book.

"Are you happy with Clayton?" --Brian

"Yes I am. Why?" -- me

"Nothing. Just asking.." --Brian

"If I'm not, what you gonna do? Steal me from him?haha" -- me

"You bet!" -- Brian

A Promise To You

I was talking to him at the phone last Friday, he called me late night, and we were just flirting and making some cheesy talks toward each other. I enjoyed talking to him, it was like I was just talking to an old friend. Swak na swak kaming dalawa. The chemistry is undeniably present. We threw joke towards each other most of the time, making the atmosphere between us very light. I like him. Really like him.

But I was unsure what to do next, I just broke up from a relationship a few days ago haha, it would be too soon to enter a new one! But I know deep inside that I want this guy, Clayton. I want to keep him. Call it selfishness. I can see and feel that he would be a good boyfriend.

I was totally honest with him about my last relationship. About my job abroad. He even reads my blog. He's making plans of how its going to be when I get back to the middle east. He asked if he could send me gifts on holidays and special occasions etc, it made me smile. No one does that to me. As if he's ready to have this long distance relationship with me already...

Let's have sex tomorrow...I said casually. When? what time? he asked.

"So, are we what? Are we boyfriends now?" I was thankful he asked that question after a while, I wanted to ask him that myself but I was hesitant to, I don't want those words to come from me. I don't want him to think that he is my rebound guy. You guys might think. But to me he is not, I don't know why, but I just don't have any regrets or pain anymore about my previous relationship at all! Was it bad?LOL!

"Yes sir..." it just came out naturally from my mouth.

"Really Mac? I do have a new boyfriend now?" I felt the excitement from his voice. Atat? joke!

I was happy when we ended the call. I know I'm doing the right thing. I could see a happy gay relationship with him.

We've met last Saturday again, this time, officially, as a couple. "So, you're really my boyfriend now?" he asked again as if I changed my mind overnight. I was so excited seeing him again, I felt like I was also 21 years old haha. Feeling????! We had our snacks...we had some casual cheesy moment at the dining area and we could care less about what people thinks! Keber!

"why you're so cute today? What did you do huh???" I teased him and pinched his cheeks after I gave him a long kiss when we entered the motel room. I don't know but he suddenly became very cute to my eyes!haha

"Are we going to eat or are we going to fuck first tell me? haha" he joked around!

"Libog mo!!! come here and give me a hug..." he sat in front of me and I hugged him tightly and I kissed him tenderly till it became so passionate and it took longer than planned....

"Mac, promise me...we will make this work please...."

"I promise..." and took his lips again and again...

Bit his earlobes...traced the skin of his neck with my tongue...

And back to his lips again....hungrily

As if I'm running out of time...as if its our last night

When in fact we still have 11 hours to spare haha!!!

Mac <---- single

Its official, I'm single once again...

I guess there's too much disappointment on both parts...

Too much differences....

I hope someone comes along who can kiss me as often as he like...

Someone who can be sweeter...

Someone who I can have a decent conversation with, minus the fighting...

Someone who can love me just like they promised to....Someone I can have a future with

Someone who can make love to me as passionate and as tirelessly as possible...Libog?LOL

I know someday... he will come...

Its just not you...

You will always be in my heart...

Though I still love you...but I guess I have to say this after all...

Goodbye EDC...

Hmm, I wonder who would be my next boyfriend? hehe)

Lovers At The Beach...

Boracay moment with EDC...

We've spent 3 days and 2 nights with my sister,nephew and a friend

It was a lot of fun, the activities, the foods, and the scenery

A bonding time for both of us, a time to know more about each other

We had our fun and we also had our share of bad times.

I will never forget that argument we had there. It was interesting.

Too many differences. Too many stuffs I cannot enumerate here.

And I will not also forget in that 5 days,

I never felt that I was desired at all.

Too bad.

I don't know, maybe its just a compatibility issue.

Maybe we are not meant to be lovers...

I'm confused now.

I will wait for a sign, maybe...something might come up and help me decide...

For now, I'll remove the ring, which is same as his, and put it in the box...

I'm gonna enjoy the rest of my vacation with my family and friends.

Finally...Me and You

I fell asleep for a while and I felt that I was sweating, I opened my eyes but noticed the ac was open, and I'm perspiring. I don't know why...its odd.

I wasn't using the pillow, instead my head was under an arm of a guy next to me. He was also asleep... I noticed that arm was wet...not with my sweat...but with my saliva...

SALIVA?????!!!! yuckyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

I drooled on him that much? OMG! I removed his arm because I know it will be difficult for him. Mangangalay siya...I turned my back on him to change my position. But that woke him, he hugged me from my back instead.

That put a smile on my sleepy face. It felt so good. He don't want me to be out of his warm body. kilig ako...hehe.

People...meet EDC.

My EDC. Beside me. Loving me. Kissed me. Hugged me. Licked me. Fucked me. Ano daw yun? LOL!

After almost two years here we are, together at last. One of the happiest day of my life. A loving guy who traveled 5 hours to meet me (last Saturday). I remembered when I saw him inside at gateway mall, waiting, on his back, but I know it was him. My heart can never be wrong. Even there's a big crowd around him.

I slowly approached, without him knowing. He was still looking at something when I said :

"Hi, waiting for someone?" and he faced me and smiled so wide revealing those cute dimples as soon as he recognized my lovely voice! ( chos!!!)

"Ang tagal mo..." he said. (you took so long).

"Im not late, you're just early." I smiled and hugged him...It felt good having his body so close to mine.

We had lunch at Max's since I am missing a lot of pork! haha. We started the long casual conversation over, catching up to the lost moment due to our long distance. We fell in line to watch Eclipse, it was a long line, tons of people at the ticket booth, occasionally I would hold his hand in discreet, and he would hug me when he thinks no one noticed.

And of course, at the movie house, he held my hand! and whispered: Mac, I love you..."

I smiled and continued watching, when Im into a movie I don't want talking. So after a while he said: "you still haven't said I love you to me..."

"Oh I'm sorry baby...I love you..."

We bought some stuffs for our boracay adventure this coming Friday after. Sana di umulan nun haha!

We had dinner and we stayed the night together, our first night...I know you're waiting for the big event! You want details!

But to tell you honestly, it was a disaster! Its embarrassing! waaaah!

At first it was so romantic, we took a shower, we dimmed the light, he was kissing me...I discovered he tickles on almost every part of his body! Its so cute and I felt relieved, it just means he's not as experienced as me!

Sabi nila pag wala ng kiliti, meaning, gamit na gamit na katawan nun! haha I don't know if that have a scientific basis or what! But with my body, I know, when I'm starting to have sex, I have tingling sensation all over my body. But now after a decade the only part remains is my earlobes! LOL

He gave me a sensual massage. He was good. He was on top of me...I could feel his manhood on my butt as he moves to reach my shoulders....

Nag-aalburoto na etits ko nun!

It was perfect at first, I was on top on him, riding...grinding him LOL! We shifted position, he was on my back, but then I felt uncomfortable, I needed to use the toilet! nyahaha! I'm having a bad stomach for about 3 days now! It felt awkward. Poor EDC.

I don't know why my body was like that, at times I wanna pee! I thought I'm about to come but its not, its literally pee! haha.

I told him its painful on my part already and I cannot continue. I never see a disappointment on him or was he just good on hiding it?

"You could wank if you want?" I told him

"No, come on...let's sleep...I know you're tired." he said instead.

"kalabitin mo nalang ako kapag nililibugan ka ulit..." he teased.

(if you feel horny, just let me know)

What's wrong with my ass LOL! I did some training prior to this, I prepared "him" for this moment! I shoved a pen, the next day I used the phone, then the TV remote, and recently I used the fire extinguisher!

But why it still hurts????! Maybe I should've trained with the fridge! LOL!

I fell asleep with his arms around me. I can feel his breathing. I slept with a contentment on my heart. All the worries and insecurities banished in thin air.

Until the sweating awakened me...

In the morning he was teasing me how my saliva drooled all over his arm!haha. I was hot as hell that moment and I moved on top of him and started licking him. This time I wanna do my favorite: KISKISAN. No penetration. Just two dicks together with lube till we cum. But we never did! hahaha.

Things just gets better and better for us! Damn! The lube is not actually a lube, its a lidocaine gel, used at the hospital with some chemicals to relieved pain.

We used it earlier since its my first time again after 7 months of no sex! So as we used it on our kiskisan, it creates a burning sensation on our penis!!!! I have to stop!

Ayun nag jakol nalang kaming dalawa! shit!

(we just wanked together)

We spent another day (Sunday) together till 4 pm and he walked me to the bus stop and waved goodbye. I went home with a big happy smile. It was a lovely feeling having my EDC around.

"Even if the sex part was bad, having you with my arms the whole night is much more important to me, because I love you Mac."

His last words.