Showing posts with label vagina. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vagina. Show all posts

August 20, 2010

Old Ugly Bitch


One sad reality I've seen working abroad is that many of our fellow Filipinos are ill-mannered! They're annoying. They're selfish. They're rude and arrogant! Well, not all hehe! But some are and I wanna stab their neck using my fork! LOL

Its disappointing when I was new here to find out that not all are as friendly and as helpful as the others I've been with. Its gives me a sense of shame knowing that they're my "kababayan". I could understand if its from other nationalities but a fellow pinoy? WTF!

Some act as if they owned the place. Some likes to be the boss even if they're not. Some would treat you as if you're less of a person. But I didn't allow it. I know now how to fight back! LOL.

May sungay na e!


One time I was the one who answered the phone call from an oldie-Filipino nurse, my colleagues just went out the door to go their designated areas:

Me: Yes, what can I do for you?

Bruha
: Who is assigned here in _____?What time you do your rounds its almost 12am!!!

Me: Ah, mam, they're on their way, just went out of the door.

Bruha
: Huh? How come they're still not here!

Me: Who is this? They are on their way...

Bruha: Its ____. you know the "mataray nurse". How come they're still not here its very late!

I tried to stay calm and still tolerate her annoying tone.

Me: What is it that you need from the assigned person there?

Bruha: Ha? Why you need to ask me that? Of course its your time to do the rounds and you're asking what do I need??? So stop asking me what I need!

Me
: I know, I was just asking if you need something else and I might be able to help

Tanga pala siya e, kaya nga my bleeper kami. E di mag bleep siya pag may kelangan siya! kesa mag taray siya kung bakit wala pa ang duty dun (we have our own bleeps so that whenever an ICU needs us, they could easily use that.)

Bruha: Why the assigned here is still not coming????

I am now really annoyed and I wanna go up there and put salt and pepper on her rotting v*gina while tied on a tree and put a big eggplant on her ugly mouth so that she cannot scream!!! Freaking old bitch!

Me: Mam, as I've said, he's on his way. OF COURSE, HE WOULD WALK THE LONG HALLWAY, THEN TAKE THE LIFTS UP TO THE 6th FLOOR, THEN WALK AGAIN THE LONG HALLWAY TO GET THERE...

I spoke clearly and pausing on each words as if talking to a child for her slow and dysfunctional brain can absorbed what I'm trying to say.

Bruha: Whatever! Its hard to talk to you! Goodbye!

That bitch! she hanged up on me!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Ako pa daw ang mahirap kausap? kakatawa! LOL

I told everyone what happened and we all just laughed after a while and said: she's an old bitch, don't pay too much attention to her. Just think that no one likes her and that maybe she has a miserable pitiful life. Instead of being mad at her, just feel sorry for what she become.

After ko siya dinurog durog sa Facebook update ko and my friends making hilarious and ugly comments about her, ok na ko. In my mind nakaganti na ko!haha

Buti nalang di ko siya friend dun.

Di niya nababasa! Nyahaha!!!

March 25, 2009

Startled

Its always fun to be with an old woman once in a while especially if the woman is a "mali-mali" (i don't know the exact English word for them e hehe) you know when they were very calm doing their own thing and something or someone startled them and they will say a rather naughty-funny-words out of surprised and horror!

Some of them are:

"ay puke!"- translation: "oh,vagina!" which is very common by the way.

"ay uten!" - translation:"oh,penis!","oh,dick" or "oh cock!" which is the opposite of the first one.

"ay kabayo!" - translation:"oh horse!"

"ayyyyyyyy!" - translation:"ahhhhh!"<--parang mali! LOL! usually this belongs to people like us(PLU)!haha.This will be very funny if the guy are playing a discreet gay or a straight guy and you'll hear him scream like a girl. It happened to me once when i was watching a horror movie and it was so scary that I screamed a very loud and quicked"ayyyyyyyyyyyyy!"and half the popcorn was on the floor hahaha!

After that I swear to myself to never watch a horror movie with straight friends again!And i practiced a very manly way to be surprise at home in front of the mirror and mastered the art of suppressed fright!haha.Men na men na!

Here's another one:

"Hindutan!!!" - translation:"lets fuck!" i heard this at an old relative of mine.Made me laugh so hard especially when u least expect it to came from her.She's so religious!we were riding a car and suddenly the driver suddenly stepped on the break and the impact was so strong that we fell out of our seats!!She said those words so loud and so long " hindutannnnnnnnnn!!!!!!"

"hindutan ng kabayo!!!" or "hinindot ng kabayo!!!" or "uten ng kabayo!!"- translation: "horses fucking!" and "fucked by a horse" and "horse's cock!" this sounds so sick! haha really hilarious when they combined the two words! I don't know why the horse are so in demand and so special to them!Maybe they like it big?LOL! (totoy mola bah!) or they could use "hindutan ng ipis" ay panget wag nalang kabayo nalang ulit hehe.

and finally my favorite:

"ay puke ni mac!" translation:"oh mac's vagina!" hehehe! I heard this most of the time from my aunt who washes our clothes! natuwa ba daw!haha di na oy masaya ko sa titi ko LOL! (bastush!)


P.S

I wonder why nobody uses "betlog ng kabayo!"? nyahaha korny!