Are you close to your father? -I'm not.Do you love your father? -I don't.
Do you hate your father? -not anymore.
I know you're curious about my answers.Well,me and my dad had a very long history of disagreements and fights.We have this big wall between us, its too late to break it now.Even if he's trying to reach out for me,I just can't restart all over it again with him.
I like to watch Variety shows.He gets mad at me.He wants me to watch NBA or PBA!
I like staying home and read magazines and all.He gets mad.He wants me to play with the boys outside.
He wants me to play ball.But I played my friend's balls.LOL
He yell at me.I yell at him.
He said fuck you.I said fuck you too.
He pushed me.I pushed him back.
Everyday was like hell for many years.
My mom,defended me.They fight.
They're separated now.
I left home.He checked me out,because my mom wanted him to.
I hate him so much then.I wanted to put him in an elderly home when he reached old age and will let him rot in hell.And not attend his funeral.
Many years had passed.He accepted my preferences.
But I forgave him.He changed a lot.
I see him everyday.He's just an ordinary person to me now.
Like a neighbor.Like a boarder at home.
He's nice too me now.But I can't be nice to him.
Its too deep.I can't forget it.
I can't eat dinner with him at the other side of the table.
I'll loose appetite.I eat at my room.
He asked something.I answer.Just One word.
I assessed my self.I'm not angry anymore.I just don't feel anything about him.
If he dies maybe I'll cry.Maybe not.
One things is for sure.
I'll die for my Mom.
