Passageway

I saw my younger cousin today, he's 10 years old, and wearing a...skirt!!!
to my surprised! hehe but he seems so proud of it ,and told me "tuli na ko!"
"oh...that's why. I thought to myself. He's circumcised now".
I remember my circumcision days, I have mine right after grade six.
But i didn't wore skirts or "daster"
I wore a gown!LOL!

Its a tradition here in the Philippines that every male kid during the summer, before he reached 12 years old that he should undergo the procedure of circumcision or "tuli" other parents do it on their children while they are still babies or else, you will be teased "supot" or uncut, and its a shameful thing if others found out about it.Only in the Philippines hehe.Its like every man's passageway to adulthood, that you are no longer a kid "makakabuntis na" said by my folks.

On my case, I was turning 12 that time and I knew it was coming! I'm kinda nervous about it. I heard that they are injecting the large needle of anaesthesia right in the hole of my penis! at the urethra!I imagined it and scared the hell out of me!LOL. I told that to my father when were alone at the house and he told me that its a lie!That its not done that way, not in the urethra where urine comes out and semen too (which i later found out of course!haha)

(Wanna see uncut erected penis?click here.Check out male sex anatomy here)

He told me that the needle was injected at the outer skin only of the penis, that my friends are just scaring me. Maybe he thought that I'm still confused, so to my shock, father pulled down his shorts and underwear in front of me and showed me his d*ck!!!!!!!!waaaaaa! it was horrible!!!!!!!!!!My eyes are wide opened that I thought it was needed to be sewed to make it close!he gave me a demonstration and where it will be cut and all!I have nightmares for so many nights!

When I looked back I cant help but laughing my ass off! Dad looks like that father of that guy at the movie American Pie where he overdid everything!haha. Anyway, going back to my circumcision story, aside from the needle scare, there's one major-major problem that I realized later....I already have pubic hair!Waaaaa!Its too soon!

One time I was at the bathroom and I touched something around my genitals, I didn't realized it at first, until I examined it, but it was really pubic hairs! I felt like crying..this is bad, i told to myself and embarrassing too!!!!Imagine, what will the doctor think of me? that Im too old for circumcision? that I should have done it earlier!I didn't tell anyone of this, they might laughed at me for centuries!

I thought of a brilliant plan. I'll shave it. I found myself in front of the mirror on the floor my legs wide open and shaving LOL! I also discovered there are hairs growing directly at my crotch areas haha in other words "my bulb*l sa betl*g ko" hahaha! When Im done with it, I'm not happy at all..its too obvious that I shaved it huhu if Brazilian wax was available at that time I could have resort to that!LOL!

When I have my judgement day, the doctor asked me to strip and lie down on the bed, I felt like my face turned into violet! I just closed my eyes and ignored his "mysterious smile" when he sees my "bazooka" LOL!

(They said circumsicion is more hygienic and lower the risk of STD.Read here)
(Read history of circumcision here)

choose which style suits you

Lets talk about penis.When did you have your circumcision?haha
Are you from "pukpok" or with a doctor?
Do you mind if your sex partner is uncut or not?

Adjusting

Adjusting is a guy's thing...you know adjusting the position of your penis!hahaha.(kala nyo kung anong seryoso noh?) Especially if you're a brief person like me, i tried once wearing boxers but nah, made me uncomfortable the whole day! I don't like the feeling of my d*ck going left and right everytime i walk like a pendulum!LOL! The best position for me is when it's upright or on a 12 o'clock to 2:10 but if it reached 6:30 that's when i do the adjusting hahaha.

Adjusting your penis inside becomes normal to me but i wanna do it discreetly hehehe kinda embarrassing if someone caught you doing it, my straight friends called it "kambiyo" especially if you did it with a hard on!haha.That's why I'm kinda happy if i have a deep front pocket on my jeans I used it to reached it and do the deed!LOL

Others do it like this:


or this:

But honestly if I saw a cute hot guy doing it,kinda turns me on!Like Zach Efron!But Bono (of U2)?ewww,disgusting!LOL

Startled

Its always fun to be with an old woman once in a while especially if the woman is a "mali-mali" (i don't know the exact English word for them e hehe) you know when they were very calm doing their own thing and something or someone startled them and they will say a rather naughty-funny-words out of surprised and horror!

Some of them are:

"ay puke!"- translation: "oh,vagina!" which is very common by the way.

"ay uten!" - translation:"oh,penis!","oh,dick" or "oh cock!" which is the opposite of the first one.

"ay kabayo!" - translation:"oh horse!"

"ayyyyyyyy!" - translation:"ahhhhh!"<--parang mali! LOL! usually this belongs to people like us(PLU)!haha.This will be very funny if the guy are playing a discreet gay or a straight guy and you'll hear him scream like a girl. It happened to me once when i was watching a horror movie and it was so scary that I screamed a very loud and quicked"ayyyyyyyyyyyyy!"and half the popcorn was on the floor hahaha!

After that I swear to myself to never watch a horror movie with straight friends again!And i practiced a very manly way to be surprise at home in front of the mirror and mastered the art of suppressed fright!haha.Men na men na!

Here's another one:

"Hindutan!!!" - translation:"lets fuck!" i heard this at an old relative of mine.Made me laugh so hard especially when u least expect it to came from her.She's so religious!we were riding a car and suddenly the driver suddenly stepped on the break and the impact was so strong that we fell out of our seats!!She said those words so loud and so long " hindutannnnnnnnnn!!!!!!"

"hindutan ng kabayo!!!" or "hinindot ng kabayo!!!" or "uten ng kabayo!!"- translation: "horses fucking!" and "fucked by a horse" and "horse's cock!" this sounds so sick! haha really hilarious when they combined the two words! I don't know why the horse are so in demand and so special to them!Maybe they like it big?LOL! (totoy mola bah!) or they could use "hindutan ng ipis" ay panget wag nalang kabayo nalang ulit hehe.

and finally my favorite:

"ay puke ni mac!" translation:"oh mac's vagina!" hehehe! I heard this most of the time from my aunt who washes our clothes! natuwa ba daw!haha di na oy masaya ko sa titi ko LOL! (bastush!)


P.S

I wonder why nobody uses "betlog ng kabayo!"? nyahaha korny!

Stroke/Hunk/Roll-on

I am ashamed of myself!Yesterday I overheard my dad and sister talking from my closed room about a cousin of my dad who suffered a stroke and died.Later that day I was at the county and I saw another distant cousin of my dad and I asked him "its too bad what happened to Jessie,where is the funeral wake?" and he was like "oh no,he died today?I have no news yet!"

When I reached home,I asked my sis "where did Jessie died?at their home or at the hospital?" and my sister was like "what?who said he's dead??!" Oh my god!What have I done! She said he only suffered a half body paralysis and in a bad shape right now but still alive.Sorry kuya Jessie!My bad!

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My hunky neighbor just passed by riding a bike and he was shirtless.I mean I noticed this to most guys who goes to the gym,when they achieved those muscular built they were like "i will go roam around shirtless in the neighborhood.I'm macho man!" I mean what the Fck!Its OA for me!Before the gym thing you hardly see them like that.Do they have to flaunt it?whatever!

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I don't know if it is just me or what!Why does everytime I look or using deodorant I cant help but think that those plastic bottles looks like a penis! haha I mean look at their shape for God's sake! And i was like rolling a d*ck's head at my underarm LOL!