Tragedy

It was my first orientation at the emergency room/accident room last night, of course I was a bit nervous at first, I mean its not my territory, I'm always assigned at the five ICUs of our hospital. I was told I will have regular duties there, as a punishment for not doing overtime work and being late at work!LOL

Many of my colleague don't wanna be assigned there. Little did my boss know, all my crushes, straights and gays are there! I mean this is so cool! ER has many new nurses that are gays and sooooo cute! (mahal, crushes lang naman to ha? wag selos!LOL)

Its really busy there, cardiac arrest left and right, vomiting all over, traumas, brains out, bloods etc. And besides, we don't know much of the people there. So technically at first you would look like a stupid unknown guy! My senior staff did her best to orient me and took me to places I need to know and the stocks etc.

But this entry is all about something else, something tragic. The charge-nurse sat beside us and told this:

I have a bad news...Marvin committed suicide at the prison yesterday. He's in our mortuary now.

He hanged himself.

I didn't know how long did my mouth was open that time. Its was so shocking. We didn't see it coming...I don't know him personally but I felt him. He's gay. He's one of us. I was sad, I felt mad, and tons of questions arises.

You may remember HIM on my post as the gay guy being arrested by the police here in Doha. You could check the story here. I was so concern abut his case because I wanna know why he was arrested in the first place. So that I could avoid it, and learn the lessons from it. But up to now its still blank.

We went at the morgue and we saw his friends sitting, one was looking at nothing, and the other one, crying at the side...They're saying its unbelievable. Marvin was full of life.

We are all clueless about the truth and now...he's dead. No one could know the real score. Was he having an affair with a local? Was he arrested because he's gay? Was he raped or tortured inside that's why he killed himself? Or he cannot face his family back home about what happened?

We were told he's about to take the flight back to Manila last night. So why would someone about to go home would hanged himself? why not on his first few days there? he's been imprisoned for a month now. It doesn't make sense....

Filipinos all over the hospital said this: Its a foul play.

Let us pray for his soul.

***************************

Note: So I'd like to make a holler to all PLU's out here. Please be careful. As much as possible, don't entertain or date or make any affair with Arabs or other races. Its too dangerous you never know who might report you to the police. Stick to our fellow Filipinos.

Mr.Italian

I opened my mail on the night of August 1,2009 and this is what I read:

Hi I am new here and I found your website.
Hope you can help me find some friends and places to go out and meet gay guys

My reply:

Are you a Filipino too?

His second email August 3,2009:

Sorry for the delay, I still have some Internet connection problems.
No I am not Filipino, I am Italian.
Ciao Bellisimo

Me:

oh hello!how u doing?is gay scene in Italy not that open?u having a problem getting a date there?

--because stupid me,I thought he is still in Italy haha!

He replied again August 4,2009:

I've been living in the____ for many years and absolutely no problem to get dates there.
The problem seems here. As I told you I just got here and I have no clue about anything. I tried to surf Internet but a lot of web sites are inaccessible. Where gay people go? There is any place where they meet? Or is completely no no. Please let me know. I will be off this Saturday maybe we can meet somewhere if you want. Un bacio e grazie

I copied his email address and added him to my messenger, after an hour he accepted and the chat begun...

I found him interesting to chat with, I never noticed the time spent talking to this foreign guy.I had fun, I was smiling and giggling most of the time....especially when he told me he got lost every time he drives his car to go home from work since he isn't familiar with the roads yet.

"How you doing?" I asked

"I'm doing good,but lonely" he said

We asked for each other's picture and...he is so cute haha! (flirty me!LOL)

"Let's go somewhere tonight! have a drink on one of the hotels, if I don't get lost haha" he said out of nowhere. I don't know what to say to him after that, because the invitation was so sudden, caught me off guard!haha.

"Hello, are you still there?" he said after a few sec " so are we going out tonight?I haven't been out since I came here".

I made an alibi and said I'm too lazy to go out and besides I'm too afraid to go out with someone I just met online!haha i have heard many stories about foreigners doing bad thing to Pinoys or Pinoys being rape!LOL

"Or we could go to the souk (market) to have a drink like refreshments somewhere.So we are going out or not?or you want to come to my place?or you want me to come to your place?"

I almost fell off my chair!haha he is so fast!Now I'm thinking he wanted sex! I told him I can't, and chat is so much better at this moment. But he insisted on going out and that he has no one to go with...he made me feel guilty that he hasn't taken his dinner yet thinking we will go out.

"or how about tomorrow?I want to go to the beach!I want to see the desert"he said. And I almost became hysterical when i heard the word desert haha that's where they rape those Filipino guys!LOL

"What are we going to do tomorrow?are we going out for lunch?tell me what time should I pick you up"

---to be continued!haha

related entries with Mr.Italian:
Mr.Italian II
Mr.Italian III
My Sweet Visitor
Who Am I To You?
Desert Gay Stories
The Sleep Over
Another Goodbye

Reunited (part2)

I looked at him while he snores like a pressure cooker on my bed..Brian,tsk tsk,what happend to us?I used to love you and you never failed to show how much you love me then...I always dreamt of this day to come,I imagine how'd it feels like when I'm with you again.I always thought that I want you again.But why don't I feel any of them now that you're here?I feel bored.I feel dead.Whats wrong with me?if someone is not with me,i misses them,when they're here,there's only boredom.

Its obvious that Brian wants us to start again.A restart.I read it between the lines.When I asked him why not make love to me,he said:"e di pag nakuha mo na ngayon..wala na!.."It seems like he didn't want to give it all to me tonight because once I get it all now,I might not be interested in him.Makes sense.An installment?haha.He wants me to court him again.I don't know,I don't feel like doing it.Whats wrong with me,I'm lonely being single and now the love of my life before is here and I feel nothing.Just lust? almost raped him earlier!

Before he slept we were talking about some stuffs about anything just like old friends catching up the times we lost when were apart.Its a nice conversation though.Then someone called him,I realized it was an UNLICALL,his suitor maybe?It annoyed me,I don't know if its jealousy or what.I told him "could you just talk to him outside this room!I cant concentrate on my readings!your whispering's annoying me".He came back 30minutes after.

"What time you'll be going tom?"I said it to hurt him,its my way of saying go home tomorrow.Because earlier my sister invited him for the whole week. He just answered "early..maybe 9 o'clock" and I replied "good,don't wake me up when you go".Then I ignored him,I just read and watched a movie at YouTube,until he started snoring.

I don't know if I'll wake him up to move to the airbed at the floor or what.Then I decided not to,I just lay down beside him and go to sleep.I'm not comfortable sleeping with someone beside me,that's a fact.Maybe he thought I'll hug him.No way after he refused making love to me?Manigas ka!LOL.It took me an hour maybe before finally got my sleep.

Morning:
Brian:"Mac,I'm going.." (whispered near my ear)
Me:"OK"
Then I received a text from him in the afternoon"mac,thanks for the time last night" .I didn't reply.