Deep Inside

I stumbled upon an old folder of mp3 files on my laptop and I rediscovered this song once again...

I listened one more time, and I smiled... yeah I smiled. It was bitter-sweet hehe, even though I'm alone in the middle of my dark room, I sang along with its lyrics...typhoon falcon was pouring its heavy rains outside. But I didn't mind. At least no one would mind...as no one would care...

I thought to myself, if someone would open my heart and listen to its voice...its screaming...its lonely...and begging for someone to hear what its gonna say... burried deep inside its veins, its arteries, its valves and its two large ventricles...

I guess this song best describes what's inside of it...

"Still I believe...
I'm missing something real.
I need someone
Who really sees me...

Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world"


--All The Love In The World by The Corrs

cheesy....I know!!!LOL

Hay, love why are you not goin' my way? don't skip this road again, will you? chos!!!

Ulan kasi ng ulan, kaya nag iinarte tuloy ako! hahaha!

Happy For Sis

care to join my umbrella?

Seeing my sister's pictures with her son and husband at face book ,who just came home from working abroad by the way, makes me really happy for her. They make a really cute couple. And I thanked her for giving me a very cute and adorable nephew. he calls me Ninong (godfather), gosh how I miss it!

My brother in law like me is an OFW who comes home every year. Finally, after a long time, at least even for one month they are family. A complete family.

The happiness from my sister's face is priceless...I love her dearly.

Sigh....

eto na, syempre eemote na naman ako!LOL

how I wish I have my own someone too...you know, a sweet partner to come home to.

Chos!

Its Cold Outside

Its past midnight here and its really cold outside. I am sitting in my couch and listening to the sound of silence. Its really quiet tonight.

I didn't realize that I'm that lonely till now. Its been two months since I broke up with my last boyfriend. I didn't have time to mourn on that another failed relationship, I was so damn busy that I didn't have time to get the feeling of regret of losing him.

Next thing I knew, I already moved on and there's no pain left to remember. I couldn't even care to think. Being too f*ckin' busy was one hell of a great way to move on! LOL

And yeah, another failed relationship. I know.

Hay, what else is new right? If you were a follower of my blog you might have been thinking..."Mac really sucks on having a relationship longer than 4 months!" How many guys I've dated and broke up in the end. This blog is my witness on all of that.

Maybe its me. Yeah, I think maybe its me.

Did I give too much that I suffocated them? Or they just didn't love me like the way I thought they did?

All I wanna do is to love someone...

To give love and to experience love. I want to have that feeling of being cared for. That feeling of being significant. I want to live again.

I missed those hugs and kisses and sweet words and romance...

Many times I loved. Being loved...and ends up disappointed. Hurt. And lost. Whats keeping "it" to find me. I've been waiting and ready for a long time...

But no matter how many times I get down and hurt by this thing called love, I would never give up on LOVE. Its one of the greatest feelings in the world. Do you agree? hehehe.

Damn, this cold weather's making me lonely.

Goodnight everyone... :-(

Third In A Row

It was cold outside my window here, I was sitting on my couch, having my favorite chocolates and realized something....

this is actually my third Christmas with no boyfriend!

OMG! Third Christmas?!

Wala lang.

Just a thought lang...had boyfriends in between though, but always none during the month of December.

I just felt that it would be nice, kinda really-really nice if you have someone to hug or cuddled with, or would send you gifts or a call during these cold and special days...I've always been a sucker for something romantic! You know, its Christmas! :-)

Well, I guess I'm just being lonely tonight...

Anyway, I better go to sleep before I get too emo here! haha. Bye peeps!

Back On Track

After 5 days I could say I'm done with my dramatic moments! haha. No more loneliness. No more homesickness. As soon I started working, being with my crazy colleague, being busy again, I am definitely back on track!

It just sucks that I am back on doing the laundry. Ironing of my clothes. Doing the dishes. Cooking. Cleaning the house all by myself. The price of being alone or independent.

It just good to know that at the end of the month I will get paid once again! Yahoo! I missed pay day!haha.

Vacation in the Philippines was a whole lot of fun, but only for a month or two, if I stay for like more than 3 months, that would be boring, if you are used to working and being busy most of the time, your body would be screaming back to work, plus I spent all of my money, it will suck big time to have a long vacation if you don't have much money to spend anymore! LOL

Clayton and I are good. We talk online almost everyday, phone calls once in a while. He never missed to send me a text message everyday. I am loving him more and more.

I love you baby ko, please bear with my moods and my horny-ness LOL :-)