Si Bok

Nag vibrate ang phone ko. I opened and saw his message.

Good Morning Mac.

He sent from whatsapp messenger. I was on night shift and its 4 in the morning. Nagtaka ako, why he's up this early.

I said good morning too. Ang aga mo nagising a...

I call him Bok. Sometimes BOK-BOK. Ang cute lang pakinggan di ba? hihihi. We've been seing each other for a week now. Halos every other day nagkikita kami, sometimes at my house sometimes we're dining elsewhere.

Ako nag bansag sa knya ng BOK BOK. He asked why. Sabi ko kasi may friend ako dati na kapareho ng name niya yun brother nun. I always like the sound of it.

E ikaw ano tatawag ko sa yo? he asked.

E di MacMac!

Andaya mo! ang ganda ng sa yo, sa akin BOK BOK???????

Wag ka na kumontra! pandidilat ko pa. LOL

He's tall and moreno. Tinitingala ko siya kapag kinakausap ko. Just like my type. And its fun being around him. Its so light kapag kausap ko siya. I like his personality nakakahawa ang mood niya. Makulit na nga ko. Mas makulit pa siya. Yun sabog. LOL

What time is your out from work? I said 6:00am.

Send me a message when you reach home. I asked why.

I am preparing your favorite food. Ginataang hipon with kalabasa. I'll drop by your house to give your breakfast.

Seriously? I asked. Honestly I was flattered. This is the first time that a guy Im dating actually cooked for me. Kaya pala he slept early and was up at 4:00.

Kinilig ako. Promise. Effort na itetch.

Kaso something came up. I had to drop by at the German Embassy after my shift. Was able to get home at 10:30am. Naawa ako kay BOK.

He hugged me and gave me a quick kiss on my lips as soon as i closed the door.

Kain ka na... he said.

The ginataan was so good. Muntik ko na maubos. He was sitting beside me at my dining table and watching me eat. Nakakamay pa nga ako. Namumulaklak sa kanin ang mga daliri ko. LOL wala ng hiya hiya noh. Sa ganitong mga pagkakataon mas masarap magkamay.

Tsalap naman ng luto...sabi ko pa.

Siyempre. Ako pa. Nakangiti niyang sagot. May halo pang pagpapa cute na smile na mukhang tanga.

Tumambay muna siya sa room ko habang nood ng movie. He likes to smell my neck. He's a hugger too. He likes to hug me from my back...

"Dapat talaga may kudkod pa ng etits pag yayakap?" tease ko pa nun maramdaman kong dinidiin nya etits nya.

"Kudkod talaga term mo? ano yon niyog?" natawa pa siya.

Humarap ako sa knya and kissed his lips. Keber na sa ginataang hipon sa lasa ng bibig ko. LOL He carried me to my bed and lie on top of me. Still kissing my lips. Medyo hirap ako sa ganitong position. Im used to being in control when I kiss someone. hahaha #controlfreak lang? chos

The kiss was getting deeper when I opened my eyes to check on him while kissing me. I wanna cheat lang ganyan. Natawa ako sa nakita ko. Di ko napigilan. Inokray ko itsura nya.

"Bakit ka ganyan humalik. parang pusit yang nguso mo kung gumalaw habang humahalik?" Ginaya ko itsura niya and pinakita sa knya.

Sa sobrang tawanan namin tumayo siya at halos gumulong sa sahig hawak ang tiyan kakatawa.

"nakakainis ka! ang romantic na nga ng moment natin e sinira mo!" nakangiti niyang sumbat.

"siya lika na dito hug kita ulit..."

One more hour and he left. I have to sleep pa kasi since galing akong night shift. He came back nun gabi and sinamahan ako mag dinner.



-alam ko medyo bitin ang kwento haha. next time na yung iba. but to all the guys I've dated recently siya medyo promising. So lets wait and see.

*wink*

Sardinas Boy

Nakaupo ako gilid ng kama ko at nasa harap ng laptop, may pinapanood na documentary nun lumapit siya sa bandang likuran ko. He started to touch my shoulder and to my back...medyo nakiliti ako...mamasahihin daw nya ako. It was noon, we just had our lunch which my sister prepared for us.

That's sometime in January 2013.

Masarap siya mag-massage. Masarap ang bawat hagod ng mga kamay niya sa likuran ko. Napapa ungol ako ng mahina, iniiwasan marinig nun mga tao sa labas. Hindi pa naman naka-lock ang pinto ng bedroom. Hindi naman kami mag boyfriend kaya walang rason para mag isip ako ng anu mang sekswal.

Makalipas ang ilang minuto mas lumapit pa siya sa akin. Ramdam ko ang hininga nya sa bandang batok ko. Dini-dimonyo ata ako nitong ungas na toh a naisip ko.

"sarap naman ng masahe mo..nakaka turn on tuloy..." biro ko pa sa knya.

"talaga? e di tinitigasan ka na?" tukso pa niya.

"slight..." sabi ko.

Automatic na nilandas ng mga kamay niyang nagmamasahe sa likod ko kanina ang path pababa sa may pag aari ko...hinihimas himas na niya. Wala na me nasabi agad. Lalo itong nanigas sa pagkaka hawak nya. Hinimas nya lalo ang ulo habang nasa loob pa din ito ng shorts ko.

"ayan, tigas na tigas na toh a..." narinig ko nalang na sabi nya habang nakapuwesto pa din siya sa likuran ko.

"ikaw kasi e...gustong gusto tuloy nya..." bulong ko pa.

Nararamdaman ko din ang pag subsob nya sa mga batok at leeg ko...halos yakap na niya ko mula sa likod habang hawak pa din ang ang pag aari ko. Aamin ko gusto ko ang mga ginagawa niyang pagte-take advantage sa bubot kong katawan. Charot. Maka-take advantage naman daw ako e noh. hahaha.

Namalayan ko na lang na ipinasok na nya ang kamay nya sa loob ng shorts at brief ko. Diretso sa nag hihintay na katigasan sa loob at sa balls ko. Napasinghap ako sa mainit na palad nya na dumakma sa hubad na laman sa loob. Pigil na pigil ko ang ungol. Nasasarapan ako ateh charo.

"bawal ilabas ha, hanggang loob lang siya ng brief haha" sabi ko nalang. Baka kasi ano pa mangyari.

"bakit? bawal makita?" tanong nya.

"oo. hanggang hawak ka lang" dagdag ko pa. Wala lang. Sinabi ko lang yun haha. I always wanted in control kasi. Maisipan ko lang na bawal itong ganito, itong ganun, dapat sundin yun. LOL

"daya naman!" reklamo nya

Ako naman ang humawak sa naninigas din niyang ari. Nagulat ako kasi ang taba nito. "parang malaki toh a shet!" bulalas ko.

Lalo ko pang dinama ng maigi sa mga palad ko ang pagkalalaki niya sa loob ng shorts. Hanggang sa di ako makuntento at ipinasok ko na din sa loob ang sabik kong palad. Mataba talaga....malaki ang ulo. Mushroom na mushroom! hihihi

"patingin...ibaba mo shorts mo" utos ko sa knya na natatawa.

"ayoko nga, ikaw nga ayaw mo ilabas yung sa 'yo e!" pagmamatigas nya. kaya naman lumapit ako at hinila pababa ang underwear nya na wala na siyang nagawa haha.

Tumambad sa akin ang may di kahabaang pag aari nya pero grabe sa taba! Nakakatakot ito sa taba. Kapag inupuan ko yun for sure duduguin ako! LOL! (T.M.I!!!)

"bakit ganyan kalaki yan????" bulalas ko

"hindi naman a... OA ka mac!!!"

"malaki talaga! hongtaba niyan! grabe ka! magdiet ka na nga ng mabawasan ang girth niyan. Buti may napayag na magpa-fuck sa yo ever!!! Dahil ako never mo matitikman now pa na nakita ko na yang manoy mo!" irap ko pa.

"kaya mo toh..." pangungulit pa nya.

"nooooo". sabay iwas ko sa knya na natatawa. Ayoko talaga. Manigas siya kahit isubo di ko gagawin sa etits nyang yun! baka magkanda duwal duwal at mapunit pa ang kissable kong lips! at makipot kong mouth! charrr

"mas malaki pa yan sa nakasex kong may asawa sa Dowha noh! kala ko yun na ang Sardinas Boy ko, pero tinalo mo siya!!!!Ikaw na ang title holder! hahaha"

Mataba talaga na parang sa sardinas tapos yun head ang laki parang sa mushroom hihihi.

Tawa siya ng tawa habang sinasabi ko yun. Muli niya akong niyakap na may panggigil. Gustong gusto ko kapag malapit yun katawan niya sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung ano sasabihin ko sa knya. I want to keep him. Pero paano na yung paniniwala ko sa di nag wowork na long distance relationship. Ayoko na ng LDR at vocal din siya na ayaw nya.

Kaya naman kinimkim ko nalang yun mga saloobin na gusto ko sabihin sa knya. Gustong gusto ko siya. At somehow nagwi-wish ako na sana kumbinsihin nya akong maniwala muli sa LDR...pero nabigo ako. Wala akong narinig na kahit ano.

Alam kong pareho kami ng nararamdaman. Alam kong in-synch ang gusto namin sabihin sa isa't isa. Pero nanatiling tikom ang mga bibig namin sa pag tatapat ng mga feelings na ito.

Umalis ako ng Pinas na dala dala ang mga alaala nun umagang magkayakap kami at maligayang magkasama the whole night at yun nag iisang moment kung saan madalian ko hinalikan ang mga labi niya bago pa siya makapag react nun hapong iyon na agad din naman niya ginantihan ng kapwa nag aalab na halik.


Kaya nyo ba hulaan kung sino siya? may premyo na external hard drive din. Charot! hahaha

Wine At Yosi

I decided to share to you the guys that I've met and made my vacation last December 2012 memorable. ito ang aking December Boys series (oh diba parang teleserye lang! hehehe):

***

December Boys IV:  Si Ariel


Nag-confirm na siya na darating siya sa small gathering na yun na inihanda ko for my close blogger friends, unang gabi ko sa shaw residenza nun. December 6 yun. Male-late nga lang daw siya ng dating dahil may event pa siya na aattend-an. Ang plano ay mag kakainan ng konti at mag-red wine habang nasa pool.

Excited na kabado ako sa pagkikita naming iyon ni Ariel. Sa halos isang taon naming paglalandian sa BBM sa wakas ay makakaharap ko na siya. Ewan ko kung ano ba nangyari, parang boyfriends kami na hindi naman. haha. nag aaway kami, nagseselosan, hindi naman kami. At ang nakakaloka nag iinarte kami ng ganun e never pa naman kami nag kita personally. LOL

OO sasabihin nyo parang PPBTEENS na naman ako, pero ewan if naranasan nyo na yung sa halos araw araw gabi gabi na magka chat kayo sa loob ng halos isang taon, mula January 2012 hanggang december 2012. parang somehow nakakaramdam ka ng something. Di ko alam if ano yun, basta parang may feelings! tseh!

Basta ang usapan namin noon. Landian ganyan, then pag nagkita na kami sa pinas, we'll see each other, date each other and maybe, maybe maging kami. ganyan. Pero hanggang walang meet up hindi magiging kami. malinaw sa aming dalawa yan. Parang ang jologs kasi ng online relationship kaya. At ayoko nun! Pero parang ganun din ang naging ending namin. Ewan.

Dumating pa nga sa punto na nagalit si Ariel sa akin dahil nung bandang March 2012. Inamin ko sa kanyang may boyfriend na ko na kasalukuyang nasa Singapore noon. Blogger din. Ikatlong araw ko ng may jowa sabi ko sa knya. Sinumbatan nya ko na sinaktan ko lang daw siya at bakit di ko agad ipinagtapat. Ramdam ko na hurt siya. I felt the guilt. Pero sa isang parte ng isipan ko, wala kaming relasyon ni Ariel, bakit siya ganun?

Inintindi ko nalang siya. Mahal na daw nya kasi ako. Kahit papano natuwa ako sa narinig ko mula sa knya. May nararamdaman din naman kasi ako di ko lang matukoy kung ano yun. Pero may commitment na kasi ako kaya ayoko naman maging two timer. Iniwasan nya ako ng halos dalawang buwan. Bandang Mayo nun maging ok na kami muli ni Ariel. Single na ulit ako niyang mga panahon na yan. Nyahaha.

Hanggang sa nabalitaan ko na siya naman daw ang may BF nun bandang september 2012. Nasaktan din ako shet! hahaha ngayon alam ko na na feel niya noon! ganun pala! sa isip ko pa naman nun kung kelan malapit na ko umuwi saka naman siya nag jowa. Handa pa naman akong karirin siya sa pag uwi ko ng december. hihihi. Nun in-asked ko siya about dun sabi nya wala na daw yun. Pero halatang he's trying to move on.

Andami na namin na share sa isa't isa thru bbm nun. Feeling ko kilang kilala ko na siya.

At ito na nga, nasa pinas na ko. The moment of truth. Nasa condo na ni-rentahan ko. Masaya ang chikahan namin, andun sina Leo, Nimmy, Ceiboh at Will. Mauubos na namin ang unang bote ng red wine nun mag BBM siya na nasa lobby na siya at paakyat na. Medyo kinabahan ako. Pano pag di ko siya bet in person? charot hahaha

Nagdoor bell siya at agad kong binuksan ang pinto. Tumambad sa akin si Ariel. Brown ang dye ng hair, naka black polo shirt, naka jeans, naka boat shoes at naka beki bag ganyan. LOL

Nag Hi and Hello kami at pinatuloy ko na siya sa living room kung saan andun ang iba pang bisita ko. Medyo nagkakailangan pa kami at first. Awkward moment lang. Pero bilang ako ang host nun gabing yun nag effort naman ako na entertainin silang lahat. Hanggang sa maging palagay na loob namin ni Ariel sa isa't isa. Nagbiburuan na kami at mula nun ay di na siya humiwalay sa tabi ko. Masyado ngang close yun mga katawan namin lagi.

He's kinda sweet na laging nakaakbay or nakahilig ang ulo sa mga shoulders ko habang walang humpay ang tawanan sa pagbangka ni Ceiboh.

Hindi ko lang alam if nakakahalata na sila sa kakaiba naming closeness ni Ariel. Naunang umakyat sa room na hinanda ko para tulugan nila sa second floor si Will, Ceiboh at Nimmy. May pasok pa kasi sila sa work kinabukasan e ala una na yun ng umaga. Naiwan kami nina Leo, Ariel at me para ubusin ang natitirang ikatlong bote ng red wine. Fave daw kasi ni Leo ang red wine kaya naman tinutungga niya ito na parang shumod lang. charot. hahaha

Bumaba si Nimesia para sunduin si Leomesia, hindi daw siya makatulog na di sila tabi. arteh .tseh. LOL. Naiwan kami ni Ariel sa living room. Umunan siya sa lap ko. Himas himas ko ng buhok nyang kulang brown. Na by the way ay pinapabalik ko sa knya sa kulay black! hahaha. Habang patuloy lang ang landian este kwentuhan namin.

This time iba na pinag uusapan namin, about our feelings ganyan, mga selosan ek ek at kung ano ano pang ka cheesy-han! chos

Medyo worried ako baka maramdaman niya yun hard on ko ng slight sa may batok nya hihihi. Iniiwas ko ng konti na maramdaman niya. This time may hawakan na din kami ng kamay na nalalaman. La na paki nun mga oras na yun feeling naman kasi namin kami nalang ang gising nun.

Hindi ko din alam kung ilan beses kami nag kiss. Naghalo ang lasa ng wine at yosi sa mga labi at sa bibig nya na lalong nag paalab ng halikan na nagaganap. Ang romantic lang ng moment na yun between the two of us. parang ang perfect lang. Me. Him. Kissing. at that dark side of the living room with the view of the city's skyline. Dahil nasa 18th floor kami. It felt romantic.

At sa isip ko alam ko nagkakasundo kami ni Ariel. Pero wala kaming pinag usapan about it. Hinayaan ko lang i-enjoy namin yung time na yun.

Nalaman ko nalang kinabukasan na nakita pala kami ni Nimmy nun pababa sana siya to go to the toilet kaso di nalang daw niya tinuloy kasi naghahalikan kami ni Ariel sa baba. hahaha.

Anywayz, nun finally antukin na kami umakyat na kami sa room ko kung saan andun si Will na naghihilik na. Wala na kasi pupuwestuhan tong batang toh kaya sa bed ko na pinatulog. Occupied na ng mga beki yun 2 beds sa kabilang room.

Kasya naman kaming tatlo infairness. Nasa gitna ako at kayakap si Ariel haha. Walang malay malay si Will. Pero di kami nag sex ni Ariel noh. May asungot kasi sa bed. Charot hahhaha.

Naghihilik na si Ariel nun maramdaman kong tumayo si Will para bumaba. Hindi ko alam nun mga time na yun kung bakit. Inisip ko nalang na maaring nakita nya kami sa ganun pwesto at nahiya kaya sa sofa sa baba nalang itinuloy ang pagtulog.

Pinanood ko si Ariel matulog habang kay lakas mag hilik. Parang sasakyang ayaw mag start ang tunog jusme. Hindi ako makatulog. natatawa ako kaya naman pinigil ko nalang kasi kawawa naman at alam kong pagod siya sa work.

me and ariel nun umagang naglalandian nalang kami. LOL

Nag alarm siya ng 8am dahil may pasok pa siya sa work nun. Nakaakap pa din siya sa akin at binibigyan ako ng light kisses sa face ko kahit di pa kami nakakamumog at hilamos pareho hahaha. saklap. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang sweetness niya towards me. Ayaw ko na sana siya papasukin kaya lang kelangan daw. I wanna stay in bed with him the whole day.

Nag-breakfast lang kami at agad na siya umalis off to Makati. Three times pa nakitulog si Ariel sa unit ko nun mga panahon na yun na nasa Shaw Residenza ako. (At saka ko na ikukuwento ang detalye niyan. Bleh)

Sa isip ko nun gusto ko ng si Ariel ang maging boyfriend. Inimbita ko pa nga siya sa first bday party ng niece ko sa bahay namin sa Laguna nun Dec 20. Tinutukso pa ako ng sister ko na "ah siya pala si Ariel ha? cute naman pala siya a". Nababanggit ko na kasi siya noon sa kanya.

Sabi ko pa I'll spend more time with him habang nasa pinas ako. Pero as usual yun pa din ang issues ko sa knya. Lagi siya busy. Ang hirap niya yayain madalas. At madaming pangako ang hindi natutupad. Madali kasi ako madisappoint. Isa sa mga hindi ko gusto sa sarili ko.

Hanggang sa pumasok nga sa eksena si Teddy Bear (December Boys I), opposite sila ni Ariel. Lagi siya andiyan sa tabi ko if i need company. Naguguluhan ako nun. At ramdam kong napapansin na ni Ariel na unti unti na kong nalalayo sa knya.

Hanggang sa makaalis ako ng pinas after 46 days ay hindi na kami muli pa nagkita ni Ariel. Inaasahan ko na dadaan siya sa bahay to see me last time pero wala pa din. Busy pa din. Na naiintindihan ko naman. Kaya lang I know myself. Di ako magiging happy sa boyfriend na walang time. kaya we are better off like this.

Up to this day we remained friends at nag uusap at kamustahan kami online :-)




Previous Posts:
December Boys I: Si Teddy Bear
December Boys II: Si Dee
December Boys III: Si Yoshi

Naalala Ko Lang Din

I decided to share to you the guys that I've met and made my vacation last December 2012 memorable. ito ang aking December Boys series (oh diba parang teleserye lang! hehehe):

***

December Boys I: Si Teddy

Hindi ko inaasahan na magiging ganun kaming dalawa. Super close. Hindi ko alam kung ano tawag sa aming dalawa. Hindi ko naman siya boyfriend. Pero nayayakap at nahahalikan ko siya. Wala naman usapan na kung ano. Magulo di ba?

Umuwi ako ng Pinas na ibang lalake ang nasa isip na kikilalanin. Bago umuwi ay may ilan na kong nakakalandian na napangakuan kong paglalaanan ng oras na makadate at makilala ng husto kapag makauwi ako ng pinas. Isa na dito si M...nagka time naman kami pero hindi swak e. Hanggang sa sumuko nalang ako sa idea na pwde maging kami. Wala talaga. Hindi ayon.

Alam lahat ito ni Teddy. In fact nakukuwento ko sa kanya ang ilang personal na bagay. Siya ang "Teddy Bear" ko hihihi...

Nagsimula ang lahat nun pag tambay tambay sa nirentahan kong condo si Teddy nun bakasyon ko. Malapit lang siya kaya naman since mag isa ako sa unit ay madalas sinasamahan nya ko maski sa pag pasyal pasyal sa makati at kung san san pa lalo't free naman siya. Wala kasi ako maipintas sa knya. Sobrang bait at talagang maasahan ko siya kapag kailangan ko siya.

Kahit kami lang dalawa sa unit ay ni hindi sumagi sa isip ko na may gagawin kaming kalaswaan! haha. talagang kaibigan lang tingin ko sa knya noon. Very vocal pa nga siya sa pag sasabi na super turn off daw siya sa boses ko nun first time nya ko makita at makausap. Akala daw nya super astig ko in person! hahaha

Kahit nasa Laguna na ko ay madalas ko pa din siya kasama. Madali siyang yayain. Gora kami kahit saan. Hanggang sa naging touchy na siya. I mean, lagi siya nakaakbay. Lagi nakapisil sa braso. at nakakarating pa kamay nya sa ilalim ng kili kili ko! ewan ko ba at bakit gustong gusto sumiksik dun!

Basta mahilig siyang idikit ang katawan nya. At hinahayaan ko siya gawin lahat yun! LOL

Nabo-bother ako nun una. Naisip ko bakit siya ganun. Parang iba na. Nakikiramdam lang ako madalas sa knya. Pero sabi naman ng isang kaibigan maski daw sa knya ay ganun din si Teddy Bear. Pero aaminin ko. May kuryente akong nararamdaman na gumagapang sa katawan ko everytime na nagiging malapit yun katawan niya sa kin. I kinda liked it.

Nabanggit pa nya dati na: "alam mo Mac, kapag kasama kita parang ang light lang lagi. nakakagaan ka ng kalooban kasama"

Kinilig ako ng slight nun sinabi nya yun. Siguro kasi puro kalaswaan at jolly ang personality ko. Yoko ng masyadong drama sa buhay.

Naalala ko pa nun patawid kami ng kalsada tapos kumakanta siya ng malakas na rinig na rinig ng ibang tao. Nagalit ako sabi ko "tumigil ka sa kakanta mo". hahaha. Nagpoprotesta pa siya nun una, pero di naman siya mananalo sa kin di ba. kaya wag na makipag argue. charot!

Nasa loob kami ng bus papunta sa south na mahigit dalawang oras ang byahe. Excited kaming dalawa. kahit maulan ay itinuloy namin ang lakad. Kinuha nya ang kamay ko at agad na minasahe. Marunong kasi siya. Kaya naman effective ang ginagawa nya sa mga joints ng kamay ko. panay ang kwentuhan at tawanan namin kaya naman hindi namin halos namalayan ang paglipas ng oras at kelangan na namin bumaba.

Nun pauwi ay kaming dalawa nalang ulit ang magkatabi sa bus. Sobrang lamig dahil late na yun at konti lang ang pasahero. Muli niyang kinuha ang palad ko. Akala ko ay mamasahihin nya ulit pero ikinulong lang nya ang palad ko sa mga palad nya...holding hands na kami this time.

Hindi ako nagtanong. Bagkus ay pinisil ko ang kamay niya na nakadaop sa kamay ko. Buong byahe namin pabalik ng Laguna ay magkahawak kamay kami. Parang nun mga sandaling yun feeling ko everything was in its right place. Everything felt so right. Gusto ko na katabi siya. Gusto ko na kahawak kamay siya.

Madalas ko siyang mahuling nakatitig sa akin kapag iniisip nyang di ako lilingon...nun tinanung ko kung bakit siya nakatitig ay umiling lang siya.

Niyaya ko siya na sa bahay na matulog dahil wala na siya masasakyan pauwi sa subdivision nila. Tumanggi siya kaya naman deep inside medyo nalungkot ako.

Nagkayayaan na din kami manood ng sine sa Alabang Town Center ng Life Of Pi nun. Ito ang unang date namin sa isip ko hihi. Nagdinner din kami right after, pero may nakita kaming asungot. Si Will! haha, Niyaya ko na din siya makijoin kumain.

Muli kami nagkasama papunta naman ng Lipa city para kunin yun pinabili kong pastillas de leche at yema sa kaibigan ko dun. Sa bus palang ay may ikinagulat akong tinanung niya sa akin.

"mac, sa palagay mo kung di ka aalis...pwde kayang maging tayo?"

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa tanong niyang yun. Hindi ko yun inaasahan. First time ko siya narinigan ng ganun. Pero sinubukan ko sagutin ng kaswal.

"oo naman bakit hindi. why not coconut nut." nakangiti kong sabi.

"wushu! di mo naman ako type e! sabi mo lang yan! kilala ko mga type mo kaya..." kantiyaw pa nya.

"aba ano ba mga type ko aber?"

"mga kalbo...mga balbon..."

"oo nga. pero moreno ka din naman a hihihi"

We both know naman eversince na ayaw namin ng long distance relationships. Nakakailan na kasi ako na ganun. Laging failed. Kaya wala na kong hope pa for an LDR...

I invited him ulit na mag overnight sa bahay namin nun kinagabihan. This time nag agree naman siya. Dito ko ite-test kung hanggang saan ang limitation naming dalawa. Papakiramdaman ko siya kung ano gagawin niya kapag kami nalang dalawa at nasa iisang kama.

Todo ang aircon sa room ko at balot na balot kami ng kumot. Konting kwentuhan lang then nag decide na kami matulog. Kanya kanya kaming pwesto sa kama. Nakikiramdam ako pero alang move coming from him, kaya naisip kong wala nga siguro talaga. Ginawa lang nya kong hawakan ng kamay! charot!

Nun mag uumaga na di ko lang matandaan sino nauna yumakap basta natatandaan ko nalang nakasubsob na siya sa leeg ko at nakakulong ang katawan ko sa mga bisig niya. Sarap lang ng pakiramdam ko nun umagang yun. Parang ayaw ko na matapos.

"Bango bango ng leeg mo...hmmmm" narinig kong sambit ni Teddy habang nanggigil sa kin.

Matagal kaming nag babad sa kama na nagtatawanan lang at naglolokohan habang hindi naghihiwalay mula sa pagkakayakap sa isa't-isa. Isa to sa mga memorable moments nun bakasyon ko. walang sex. pure laughters and wholesome fun lang ganyan. May ganern! hahaha. Parang ayaw mo na matapos ganyan. Kung pwde nga lang i-freeze ang time...at kung di sana ako aalis ng pinas...

Nagbibihis na siya nun hapon na yun pauwi sa kanila...nilapitan ko siya at bigla bigla ay hinalikan ko siya sa labi...gumanti siya kaya naman nag lapat ng ilang segundo ang mga labi namin...

Parang ayaw ko na nga siya pauwiin nun e haha.

Bisperas ng flight ko nun, nakiusap siya na i-meet ko siya kahit saglit lang dahil gusto lang daw nya ako makita muli at may ibibigay daw siya sa kin.

Saglit na saglit lang ang last meeting naming iyon. Niyakap lang niya ako ng mahigpit at nagpaalam na. Alam ko na mami-miss ko siya....

Nun buksan ko ang laman ng paper bag ay may kasama itong card. Naaliw ako. Now lang ako naka received ng card sa mahabang panahon. May personal message siyang sinulat sa gilid na nagpangiti sa akin
 :-)

Are You Kidding Me????

I was inviting R.A to visit the Marine festival with me in the city, thought, it could be another way to spend time with him and he said: OK LANG. Its not a yes or its not a NO either I assumed. So I told him, OK then lets go there later since both of us are off!

"I don't have enough money left, let's wait for the payday"

"oh come on, you still owe me a dinner hehe!" --me

"its true. i don't have enough to go out this week."

"I'm bored today, I'll take care of it. Just come with me" I insisted

And then he signed out on Face book without giving me a confirmation! he did it again! Damn him! I tried to call his cellphone but he wont pick up.

OK, fine. He's avoiding me.

I won't bother him again. As in ever again! asar na asar ako!

Magpapa-miss ako! tignan natin kundi nya ako hanapin!tse!

Many days have passed and we haven't seen each other. A good thing, I must say. Fate was helping me to move on. (parang nag-break up?LOL)

But not last Friday morning! We have the same duty! I spotted him as soon as I entered the ICU. He was busy with his documentations. I carry on with my job and pretend I'm not noticing him. I told my partner that I don't wanna go near him (he knew I like R.A) that he should help me to avoid him haha. sabwatan ito!

Everything works well until my partner got busy and I have no choice but to check the file of R.A's patient myself!

I quietly took and open the files while he was busy writing, he looked at me as soon as he felt my presence.

"uyyy, nag morning shift siya..." he said smiling.
(you're on morning shift)

"oo nga e..." (yeah) that's all I said to him. He's acting as if we're OK, hmmp! I still hold a grudge against him kaya. Pretending I was not interested in talking further and moved on to the next patient.

After a few minutes I was checking the medicines few meters away from him and he suddenly called me.

"mac...you think we'll have the salary tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe". and I continued on my work. And why is he asking me about payday tomorrow? Is he going to invite me out finally tomorrow if salary is available?

Tse!

One time I was fixing the personal protective gown for the isolation patients when he jokingly pulled out its tie and I looked around and saw him silently laughing while walking away.

In my mind, I thought: Papansin siya huh. Tsk tsk tsk. (he's trying to get my attention since I'm not giving it to him on purpose) I smiled.

An evil smile!

I was bragging to my friends how successful my plan was on R.A! that finally he noticed it and he's the one making those efforts now for me to notice him this time. Yeah! Success!

On our second rounds around lunch time. I was on the phone and he was at the computer that we were so close and no one was around...I don't know what came to me and my emotions took over and I said the words that I have been keeping inside since last week!

"Hoy R.A! May atraso ka sakin". --me.
(hey R.A. You did something bad last time)

Damn! what happened to my plan????Shit! shit!

"Wala kaya... (I don't think so)" he said while smiling innocently. He knows what I'm talking about.

"Of course you know what I'm talking about...You left me at the chat room and you're not answering my call!"

"I don't have phone credits, that's why..." he continued and went back to his patient. But I followed him. I'm not finish with my interrogations yet!LOL

He was checking his patient's I.V but I kept on going: "you don't need credits to answer my call!"

"really?" he's still playing stupid.

"yeah!"

"so tell me...why you're not answering my calls?"

He moved to another part of the bed. The patient was looking at us, maybe wondering what's the fuss all about haha. But I kept on following the moron (R.A).

"ano ka ba? nag tatrabaho ako hehehe" he said while pushing me a little to back off. He was still laughing at my persistence.

I'll go where he'll go. He cannot escape me!

He squat at the side of the bed and I squat with him too while he was checking the patient's urine bag and measuring it. I looked around and saw my partner smiling at us. Maybe he thought I was weird hahaha!

"You're avoiding me aren't you? tell me...that's why you're not answering my call?"

"I did not hear your call that's why...and besides I told you I don't have enough money left. Let's wait for the payday..." he explained.

"I told you too that we don't need more money to go the festival! Its free!"

"If we have salary tomorrow, maybe....and besides, I think the festival's finished since yesterday!"

"No. its extended till end of the month. For us!". LOL. I continued on convincing him.

"really?" and he looked at his new female colleague and said:"you wanna come? the festival he said is extended..."

WTF????are you kidding me? I wanna scream that to his face! He wants to bring this new nurse with us? On our date?!

I just walked out on him and left the unit! F*ck him!

Hay...poor Mac, no one wants to love him...Charot!

Should I Give Up?

Its been 2 days since our last date. I haven't heard from him since. I did my usual routine at work at the ICU when Gil noticed me and said: wow, look whose here! I did not expect to see him either on duty that afternoon.

And if Gil is here, it means R.A is on duty too! (Gil is R.A's preceptor)

OMG!

I looked around...looking for a familiar face, a face that I long to see....

there!

at the station, he looked surprised seeing me too. I cannot tell if that look was from being glad to see me or for fear that Oh-oh-he's-here-look!LOL. Our eyes met and we smiled to each other. I don't know...after our date, it just felt awkward talking or seeing him again.

I kinda missed him. I wanna run into him and give him a tight hug.

Nobody from his colleague at the ICU knew that we had our date last weekend. For them, I'm still getting nowhere on my quest to win his heart!LOL

I didn't stay longer than I used to, I finished up my work and went back upstairs to our unit. I didn't chat with him like I used too. I was trying to read his actions. I'm still guessing if he likes me or not.

I feel so insecure after I noticed his indifference. I wanna scream to his face and yell: what now! But I didn't!

di ko keri hahaha!

On my second rounds. Gil noticed that I'm quiet while doing my work, I'm not like that. We usually have this moment of fooling/joking around and talking some silly stuffs while I'm trying to get notice by R.A at work.

I already had my dinner, but Gil and R.A just about to have theirs. Gil asked me if I wanna eat with them. I said thanks, that they should go and eat for I have things to do. I was waiting for R.A to invite me too, but he was just quiet as if he did not know that I'm there. But I'm sure he knew that I am.

It hurts me that after we shared a great dinner and some time last Saturday, he was acting weird. So I thought to my self, OK, that's it! that's my sign! I should give up whatever hopes I had with him!

I finished up my rounds and my documentation after 30 minutes when they came back...I was at the faucet scrubbing my hands:

"Mac, ganyan ka di ka sumasabay sa min kumain ha!" Gil said
(Mac, you really didn't join us for dinner huh!)

"Busog na nga kasi ako!hahaha"
(I told you, I had dinner already)

I saw R.A passed by but I ignored him. Pretending that I did not see him.

"Mac..."

I looked around and saw him.

"Here...take this..." giving me a can of milk for patients on nasogastric tube for feeding!He was teasing me to have it for dinner instead. He was smiling like a small boy, trying to be funny with his super korny joke!

Tinignan ko siya ng matagal. Nakangiti lang siya ng parang engot...

"hmpf! ah ganun ha...you take it first!" I replied. I was smiling back at him. He was laughing when he left.

For a few seconds...that brief moment. Everything around us felt so quiet. As if we had our own world. I was looking at his eyes and he was looking at mine.

Yes. It was our moment.

I know. Mababaw ako!LOL

I was smiling on my way out. As if all the worries flew in the air.
hay, shall I stop hoping or what?!

Taena ka R.A! Ginugulo mo ko!LOL

*****

Dahil jan kakanta ako ng:Chasing Pavements!hahaha

(related post about R.A. click HERE)

And Then He Said Yes!!!

For a few days I kept on flirting with R.A, I've been extra sweet, spending extra time talking at him even though I have nothing else to do at the ICU, been throwing jokes about going out and etc, I'm sure he gets it, unless MANHID siya noh!

Then I went to London for 4 days without telling him, and then when I came back Gil told me that when he asked R.A about me this question: "so how are you and mac?" and he told me, R.A replied with this: "he's always missing", that's the time Gil told him "tange, he's in London, you didn't know?"

It made me smile, so, he misses me after all!

And as I soon as I went online on Face book, he started chatting with me:

"Hello, bigla nalang nawala... Yun pala natuloy sa lugar na sinasabi niyang pupuntahan niya"
(hello, you've been gone, and found out you went to that place you're talkin about)

"hahaha, hey! I'm back!"

"walang pasalubong?" he teased
(no souvenir for me?)

"of course, I have! I'll give it to you later"

When we got to see each other, i handed him this big chain made of silver with a print on its heart: I love London. I bought it specially for him. Without him knowing that it has another partner on my keeping...hehehe! hindi niya alam mag jowang bear yun!

"aw shit! May puso pa talaga ha..." Gil teased me and pointed the red heart on the bear I gave to R.A. I knew R.A noticed it too, but I just played innocent. Deadma

I've been trying to hide my feelings towards him, as my friend advised me, that i shall not reveal my true feelings so easily to a guy I like, no matter how much I like him, that I should play hard to get too LOL! So days have passed that our scheds didn't match and we're not able to see each other but I sent an sms message on him once...

When he saw me online at FB he said:

"hello, anong duty? Di ata kita nakikita sa hospital a..."
(hello, what's your duty? How come I havent seen you at the hospital lately?)

"Sungit mo kaya sa text kahapon.." I said
(you we're snobbish yesterday when I text you)

"ah, yeah, I was not in the mood. Work problem. I wanna transfer to another hospital"

"what! you're planning to leave me without going out on a date with me first?LOL!" I can't believe that I really typed the word DATE! waaaaah!

"LOL ka rin"

That's it! that's his fuckin reply to what I just said! Grrrrr!

He's been chatting with me every now and then when ever he sees me online, which I must admit gave a wide smile on my lips...giving me hope, that maybe, maybe...arghhhh! I don't wanna expect anything! F*ck!

But his message yesterday almost made me fell on my chair:

"hello, kelan ka manlilibre?"
(hello, when are you gonna treat me for dinner?)

Pakshet! I used to say those words at him! And this time, he's throwing that line back at me!!! taena! I wanna scream and shout to the world that R.A is finally asking me out!!!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Ikaw lang naman ayaw e...kelan ka off?"
(I'm just waiting for you to say yes.When is your day off?)

"Saturday..."

"Ok, saturday then..."

"Ok..."

The Sleep Over

this is the actual beach where we went

I heard the familiar sound of our doorbell, but unlike before, I didn't rush out to open it, I knew who it was...I took my time and I opened the door and there he was again standing on my front door for the 6th time?was it 7?10?crap I lost count!haha.

"pizza delivery sir!" he was wearing his cutest smile while holding the box of pizza he promised me to make.

"wow you really made me a pizza!!!" I'm so excited, finally i will be able to taste the works of this crazy guy that I adore.Its was so good I ate 8 slices and kept the other two for my friends to try it the next day hehe. (mang iinggit lang ako na iginawa ako ni Eros ng pizza hehe)

He took me for a ride and we went to the night market because I told him I needed to buy the longganisa haha, I don't know what has gotten into me that I'm craving for that Pinoy food for the past week! I know what you all thinkin', I'm not pregnant morons!

But to no avail, I cant find it. And for the 8th or nth time travelling together in the street of Doha, he said the famous words "OK, we are officially lost" haha and I will reply it with "what else is new?!just drive and we will find the right way soon,hopefully. LOL" and we will just both laugh about it.

Its my day off that day and its our plan that I will be spending it at his place. Its 1:00 in the morning, he parked at his spot and he guided me to his condo, its my second time here. I checked my pocket to see if I brought my pepper spray in case he do something. Kidding!!! of course I will be a willing victim LOL!!!

He offered me vodka but I refused, I don't want to drink "gasoline" I told him. I went to his bed and lie there and wait for him to join me. Oh wag muna kayo mag isip ng advance di pa kami magsesex!LOL.

We talked and have some nice laughs through the night, we watched some stuffs over the net.Its 4am when we finally decided to go to sleep. Its cold in the room and I was already inside the comforter hugging the big pillow on my side."so you going to hug that freaking pillow over me?" he said teasing.

"i cant sleep without hugging a pillow"

"you can hug me." he said protesting

"no, you're too big to hug!" I continued teasing

He hugged me from the back while I was hugging the pillow at my front! that looks like a threesome to me!

He started kissing me from my nape and towards the side of my lips and I willingly respond, his hands are traveling everywhere, on my arms, on my chest, on my belly and finally down to the land down under and to my tree of life LOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

I cannot control the urge to moan and I faced him and this time I responded to his every kiss and every touch. He undressed me and...

--OK, THIS PART IS CENSORED !--

(he will kill me if he find out that I'm sharing every details of it.)

Anyway moving along, haha. The next morning we went to the beach and we stroll and have some pictures together. It was a lovely day and we came back at the city past 4 in the afternoon, he bought some food at the groceries and I cooked rice and we shared a simple and heavy dinner hehe. Did I mentioned that he is too lazy to cook at home?!I mean WTF!

He slept on my side while I was watching "trueblood" on my laptop, I let him take that time to rest I know he is tired and not having enough sleep this past few weeks. I was struggling to understand what I'm watching because the crazy bastard was snoring like a dinosaur!LOL

I woke him up at ten and drove me back home. I have work the next morning.

Ciao!
(see i learned one Italian word already!)

Mr.Italian II

We had a great chat that night.I want to share you this guys.If he found out I made an entry about this, Im sure he'll be embarrased haha.

“actually Im hesitant to go out with a stranger…”-- me

“oh what, ah ok, now Im a stranger…” --italian guy

“and besides u only known me just now,what if Im a thief or I might rob you,and you want me inside your car?LOL” --me

“uhhhh,I like it! Haha. ” --Italian guy

I told him that arabs bring Filipinos in the desert to rape them.

“Really?where?I wanna go!Is it free or I need to pay?LOL” --Italian guy. I was laughing when he said that! And I said you wanna be raped?he said “always” and I laughed harder!

“just kidding.Lets go somewhere tomorrow…”

“where?” I said

“desert,or the beach!I love the beach,or see other cities”

“waaa I don’t want to go so far with a stranger!Im afraid!” --me

“ok lets go out now so we can meet, and tomorrow we can go somewhere, so that I won’t be a stranger anymore to you…”

“you see, I heard so many stories about foreign guys,that’s why im reluctant now”

“Ok fine,tomorrow we’ll go to the mall with many people and we’ll see the fake sky intead! and we’ll freeze to death”

“Im sorry if im like this, trust issues haha”-- me,but im starting to like this guy he seems nice.”or maybe I’ll find you someone to go with you next time or introduce you to someone..” I added.

“No!forget it. Why you want to do that?” --Italian guy

“ because im such a killjoy,I feel guilty and I want you to have company” --me again

“No don’t worry, be happy ,I don’t want to push you to do anything.” --Him

I said Im eating muffin and if he wants some haha.

“Because of you I didn’t eat dinner, usually I eat at work and nothing on my fridge, I left work early I was in a hurry ready to meet you ,trying to get home at a decent time for you” now he’s making me feel really really guilty with that haha

He told me that he never likes cooking at home,I found that hard to believe that he's too lazy to cook his own food haha. He hates driving too. We talked about basically anything and im glad that I diverted the topic away from our meeting that night haha.I think this guy is cool, and he is jolly and nice. Its really late and I have work in the morning so I said goodbye.

“ok,have a good night”

“you too, wait you never give me your name yet” I asked

“Im ____”

--to be continued

First Step to My Happiness?

Prepare yourselves,the following are pure ka-ek-kan and kakornihan hehe:

4:00 pm: I woke up today with a smile on my face when I look at my cellphone,he texted me,my so called future hehe.Lets call him JR.The one I was talking about yesterday.

JR :"gudam.my load na ko"( time: 7:00 am pa haha)
Me:"Hi,I just woke up,how are you?"
JR:"I'm ok,just came back,tagal mo magtext a..." (kilig naman ako meaning inaantay niya me!)
Me:"kaw din naman di text a..."

I wasn't able to text him after,I ate my lunch and a neighbor asked me to do her resume,so I did.

JR: "text mo naman ako,nag load pa naman ako for you..." (may ganun talaga hirit,but made me smile)
JR: "hey"
JR: "hey"
Me: "wait,mag unli lang muna me,I'll text once ok na." (without me knowing nag failed pala yun message ko sa knya haha.)

Then I saw him logging in at YM,he message me up

JR: "why are you not replying my texts?May iba ka na?" (demanding ,hmmm)
I explained to him that I'm waiting for my unlimited confirmation text and that I'm doing a resume.
JR: "OK,I'll wait till you're done"
Me: "so how are you I missed you did you know that?hmm,you're taking me for granted a.."
JR: "dinadramahan mo naman ako e hehe"
Me: "but that's what I felt,got me thinking that you are not interested while I'm so into you"

JR :"imagine so much stressed from work,we have ADHOC this month,dinagdagan pa ng principal work namin"

Me: "asus you could text me naman while riding the bus or jeep."
JR:'what's your blog URL again?"

I was a bit hesitant to give it to him he will see my entry about him!What the heck!
JR: "is that me you're talking about????"
Me:" hindi a! helloooo sino pa ba? e di ikaw nga!!"
JR" I left a comment.the other comments are funny..I'll read more of your entries,wait"

Then looked at his comment on my blog and here it is:

Jr... said... I'm interested with you but I've told you a couple of times that I have tons of paper works to accomplish...Maybe we should not rush on things...ehehe...lets get to know each other better baby... February 07, 2009 6:46 PM

Hmmm,baby daw...fair enough,ginawa pa kong makulit haha.

JR:" Now I'm impressed with your blog,are you done with the resume,i want us to chat freely.
Me:"someone commented na macho ka daw ba?hehe"
JR: "you already know the answer,I'm chub.."
Me: "i don't mind.i like the way you are..." (reminds me of a song hehe)
JR:"really???i hope you'll not use me like others did.." (i wonder what's he's talking about that)

Then we decided to chat on cam,to do a show LOL nah,just kidding we just talk haha.We are decent human being,maybe later bwahaha!

Till now while I'm writing this,nag uusap pa din kami.Hope this will be for good,but I'm not expecting anything yet,lets see what the future holds.We just have to give ourselves time to know each other more.