Tragedy

It was my first orientation at the emergency room/accident room last night, of course I was a bit nervous at first, I mean its not my territory, I'm always assigned at the five ICUs of our hospital. I was told I will have regular duties there, as a punishment for not doing overtime work and being late at work!LOL

Many of my colleague don't wanna be assigned there. Little did my boss know, all my crushes, straights and gays are there! I mean this is so cool! ER has many new nurses that are gays and sooooo cute! (mahal, crushes lang naman to ha? wag selos!LOL)

Its really busy there, cardiac arrest left and right, vomiting all over, traumas, brains out, bloods etc. And besides, we don't know much of the people there. So technically at first you would look like a stupid unknown guy! My senior staff did her best to orient me and took me to places I need to know and the stocks etc.

But this entry is all about something else, something tragic. The charge-nurse sat beside us and told this:

I have a bad news...Marvin committed suicide at the prison yesterday. He's in our mortuary now.

He hanged himself.

I didn't know how long did my mouth was open that time. Its was so shocking. We didn't see it coming...I don't know him personally but I felt him. He's gay. He's one of us. I was sad, I felt mad, and tons of questions arises.

You may remember HIM on my post as the gay guy being arrested by the police here in Doha. You could check the story here. I was so concern abut his case because I wanna know why he was arrested in the first place. So that I could avoid it, and learn the lessons from it. But up to now its still blank.

We went at the morgue and we saw his friends sitting, one was looking at nothing, and the other one, crying at the side...They're saying its unbelievable. Marvin was full of life.

We are all clueless about the truth and now...he's dead. No one could know the real score. Was he having an affair with a local? Was he arrested because he's gay? Was he raped or tortured inside that's why he killed himself? Or he cannot face his family back home about what happened?

We were told he's about to take the flight back to Manila last night. So why would someone about to go home would hanged himself? why not on his first few days there? he's been imprisoned for a month now. It doesn't make sense....

Filipinos all over the hospital said this: Its a foul play.

Let us pray for his soul.

***************************

Note: So I'd like to make a holler to all PLU's out here. Please be careful. As much as possible, don't entertain or date or make any affair with Arabs or other races. Its too dangerous you never know who might report you to the police. Stick to our fellow Filipinos.

Something To Celebrate

I was dancing all night, the DJ was playing my favorite songs....I was drunk, no, just tipsy I guess. The three of us on the dance floor of QUBE, a popular club here in Doha. Crowded with different nationalities. Its a last minute decision to go here tonight. Many backed out, but we decided to still go, its Thursday night, weekend here, and we have nothing to do at home! so what the heck!

I was celebrating, and my friends are kind enough to celebrate it with me. What was I celebrating, you may ask? Because finally, I'm in a relationship. May nauto din sa wakas!LOL. Its me and EDC.

Well, this is what happened 7 hours ago....

As the night goes by and its getting pretty late there in manila, he was about to say goodbye, and his last message caught me off guard.

EDC: OK, goodnight Mac...I love you...

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say.

EDC: I will have a wonderful sleep tonight that's for sure. Thanks to you.

Me: You love me?

As if I didn't hear what he last said. I ignored it, the one registered on my mind was the word "I Love You.

EDC: Yes Mac, I love you.

Me: Wow! Just wow...

EDC: You Mac, do you love me?

Me: Yeah. Since last year.

I didn't lie, its the truth, I may not know it then, but now, reality sinks in and I'm sure of it.

Me:Yes, EDC, I love you too...

EDC: Really? Hmmmm, I wanna hug you real tight right now! I love you, and I hope as the day goes by, we could love each other more and more....

Its been a while since I last heard those words of Love. And its a lovely and fleeting feeling having those words again...

I said my final goodbye and he signed off. In 3 months time, I will come home and will give him a wonderful and love filled kiss! He will experienced the love machine that I only can operate!LOL

Related entries about EDC:
What's Goin On Mac?
What Have Just Happened?
Present Stressful Events
First Month Of Many to Come
I Am Not Ok
A Time To Kill
Guess What!
A Celebration
You Know That I Love You
Ohh, Here I Come...
Hush, Baby Now...
The Countdown Begins..
I Brought My Bf Home

One Day Soon

I am blessed with some of the good things in this world.

Only one thing that is missing in my life...

You.

Is it too selfish to pray to have you? Will our creator thinks that I asked too much? is it true if your successful at your respective careers, it is to expect your love life would suck? That you cannot have it all?

Oh, I wanna come home right this moment and give him a big hug, been longing to kiss the side of his lips before I could take them fully with my own lips...

I hope fate could give us the chance to be together...the guy that I have been praying for all my life, the guy I know who could love me, and I could love till our hair turns gray...

I could only hope and dream of you each night on my side and say: No matter what the day turned out to be, good or bad, whenever you open that door, I will be forever someone you could come home to.

One day soon.

What's Goin On Mac?

The following are recent updates on my life so far. You could say "we don't care!" LOL, but I don't mind, I still wanna say them anyway, whether you like it or not! tse!

• Its been eight months now, and my dream before going here to work was to save money, I wanna buy a house and lot to a decent subdivision back in Laguna, so that I could have my own private place, where me and my future partner (which I hope, I could meet soon LOL) could live without interference from my family. But its such a shame that I don't have a single cent on my account yet!waaaaa! Its frustrating. The main reasons are these: I'm sending money to my mom, she has financial crisis at Dubai now. I also volunteered to shoulder the monthly electric bills at home. That's the least I could do to help them there. They could have the air con open all day!LOL. The last reason: I'm such a shopaholic! I need psychiatric help!nyaha! I felt guilty when I bought this expensive Bulgari eyeglasses last time which costs less than 20,000 pesos while my mom are trying to budget her money to lasts for a month. Even worst is, I'll be having my yearly vacation this July which is 4 months from now, so I need to start saving now or else I would be poor when I go home!
• I was into Eli for a few weeks, been happy every time we're talking and had the same schedule at work. Recently, I chat with him at Face book and had the courage to asked him on a date. I said: Hey Eli, what you doing later? he said: nothing, will stay home. Then I typed the words : would you like to have a date with me? I was so nervous when I pressed send. But i was too afraid to know what could be his answers, so before he could read it and reply, I immediately signed out of face book!LOL So till now I never know what his reply was and good thing that time FB was having troubles with their system. Now, we have this awkward feeling towards each other, as if we broke up or something, I'm avoiding him and he's avoiding me! haha
• I also found out that Eli used to bring food at Darkguy's flat! whaaaat! they're friends or what?!
• My night life was very active for the past weeks, we had fun going to club to club. Had some drinks and party hard all night!
• We received 5o% of our salary the other day, a gift from our bosses for passing the international standard of care for our beloved hospital. That's awesome!
• I cannot find a diesel skinny jeans here! I hate Doha stores!LOL
• Me and two girl friends decided to watch The Wolfman at the cinema,before it start I warned them not to scream or else. Turned out when the first scary scene came, my scream was the loudest!LOL
  
• I'm loving the pediatric ICU now, unlike before that my chest almost explode due to too much nervousness! I'm good at adult patient but with children? with neonates? waaaa! But now I could say I'm confident enough, so kids bring it on!
• My laziness escalated to the next level, I so hate washing dishes, so I had the idea of buying disposable plates, cups, and spoon and forks! O di ba tapon na lang ng tapon?!haha I'm not even cooking, I have my foods delivered every night from a nearby Filipino resto.
  
• I developed a good friendship with my senior Lebanese staff, he's 45 something and very kind, at first I was just joking around about liking his company, but damn, I somehow develop this fondness on him, I kinda consider him now as my dear old friend Greg. He brought me home, he bring me chocolates, even asked me to go drinking, but too afraid to say yes, my friends are scaring me that he might rape me LOL!
• and lastly, I don't know but do you believe that love could grow even if you two haven't met yet? I mean its an online relationship, we talk for hours, web cam, calling from the phone every now and then, for more than a year now. I suddenly realized it, just tonight, that I'm possibly in love with him....Its hidden somewhere in my heart that only now it made me aware of it, and I think he's the one I could come home to...this July. You made me happy tonight EDC...naks! tawa yan! LOL

I hope you're still awake after all that! So see you next time guys. Take care!

Weird E.B

As I'm having my pizza and beef lasagna that I ordered at Pizza hut at the mall, I cant help but have a shallow laugh! I just tried to shook it off and forget about it.

Director, please rewind!

6 hours earlier:

I was chatting online and this Filipino guy sent me a message, had a couple of good conversation, till the routine exchanges of pictures and links. With some casual flirting on the side too. I gotta say, he's a cutie. I invited him to go out. Been wanting to go to the mall because I have to send money to my mom and to buy some personal stuffs. This is hitting two birds with one stone, so why not.

He's jobless and living with his sister's family here in Doha while he seeks job as a nurse. He said he don't have the budget, but I said, its not a problem, I could treat you to a fancy dinner and a movie. Lets call him Kirk

In simple words, I found a friendly date tonight. So after I prepared myself I took a cab and told him I'm on my way. He said, he's also waiting for the bus. As I passed by the lovely scenery of Doha, I've been thinking of where are we gonna eat and what movie to watch. I kinda get excited, and told my friend Cher I'm going out with this guy. Its a routine for me to inform someone close to me that I'll be meeting a new guy, in case something happens, the police might get a lead, right???

So much for paranoia?!LOL

When I finally met him, I noticed another guy with him. He introduced him to me as his friend!

WTF? He brought a friend???!

A chaperone?nyak!

I wanna slap my self and think that this was just a dream! Who else on earth would bring a chaperone on a date at this modern age of gay dating!

What was he, his personal security guard????!

My excitement was gone with the wind, I'm no longer interested. I just wanna go and do what I originally need to do. Both of them are nice, that's a fact, but I'm not ready for this, I'm not good at surprises.

A normal responsible guy would say: Mac, I'll be bringing my friend with me, is that alright with you?

To think that I'll be the one paying for our dinner and movie, didn't he think that it will look so embarrassing on his part bringing his friend?Duh! Its so funny and annoying. I came there to meet him, to get to know him, to have a new friend. But two is way too much for me at that moment. That's why I have to remind my self not to date guys under 25 years old! LOL They're so immature! grrrrrrrrr!

When I was falling in line for the remittance center and they're watching something a few meters I texted kirk: Hey why you didn't tell me you're bringing a friend?I thought its just the two of us.

I saw him picked his cellphone and read it,and take note, together with his friend! They read it together, awww how sweet!LOL!

He replied: Sorry, we saw each other here, and its a shame if I'll snob him, right?

Well, a normal guy would do is this: he would say hi to his friend and if that friend will ask, tell him you'll be meeting someone. Or if your closeted (which is not the case for him) you'll just make an alibi and say goodbye to that friend. And you don't need invite him to your date to think that you're not the one paying! haller!

And a normal friend would also do if your friend told you that he's meeting someone or having a date is to just say good luck and have fun. or if he invites you out of courtesy, you'll just say, no thanks, you go ahead.

I called my friend Cher about my awkward situation. She just laughed at me and said what kind of guy was that! Leave them right away! I texted Kirk again: Hey I think I'm better off alone, I need to buy some things and you surprised me... I'm sorry.

Once again i saw him read my message together with his friend!hahaha what's with this guy?gosh! I never met someone like him. He's weird!

He faced me and waved his goodbye. I sighed for relief! Its such a shame that I planned a good night for us, even thinking of inviting him to go clubbing with me if our plans push through this weekend.

Funny, that I don't have anything interesting to write on my blog recently and good thing he came. LOL!

I just did what i needed to do after they'd go, and I bought a new shirt for our future clubbing and a new perfume, 1 million by Paco Robanne. I bought Issey Miyake's scent 2 weeks ago but my friends didn't like the smell. Too strong I guess. Hope this one is much better.

Issey Miyake

Paco Robanne

A Bad News

The recent turns of event affected me that much, I'm concerned about my lifestyle and my rights...I was having so much fun and forgot that I am a foreigner here, a not so straight foreigner...I know I am very discreet but I still feel scared.

Recently, it was all over the hospital, a news about a gay nurse at the ER, missing for about two days. They don't know where he is, just found out the next day that he was arrested by the police.

Why?

Because he's gay.

I was saddened by this, concerned friends approached me and advised me, told me to be careful. "We love you, that's why we're telling you this" they said. I appreciated it."You should avoid local guys, as much as possible, only date Filipino guys, its much safer. Don't ever bring guys to your house OK?!

At this time, I'm shutting all kind of gay guys!LOL

I asked around why did they arrested him, no one knew, some of his friends are not saying anything, they're protecting their friends from further shame I guess.

People said:

1.He is having an affair with a local (arab/qatari)
2.Someone must've tipped the police that he's having gay practice and had him under surveillance for a week.
3.He was at his accommodation, doing his laundry, on plain house clothes, slippers etc., when the police arrested him.
4.That he will be put behind bars and be slashed every Friday.
5.He will be deported with nothing but what he is currently wearing.

All of this are just talks and I don't have valid proof that it is true, but they said, its been done before and those gays being arrested before told these stories.

Its scary, I feel bad about this nurse, I hope he's alright. I thought as long as you do it inside your walls you will be alright, but why do they have to raid some one's house? I read some articles that the police are even doing disguise (CID-cops in disguise) and make entrapment operations.

Sigh.

No more dating for me as of now. Good thing I'm not having sex for about 4 months now!LOL

Kaong at nata de coco na 'to! Nyahaha!

Socially Revived!

The Sheraton Hotel

Last Friday, Feb 26, me and other 3 friends from work decided to go clubbing, been wanting to do that since I came here 7 months ago LOL! So after 10pm work, me and a girl friend, changed into our party clothes and about to hit the road. But we received a call from the other two who's there ahead and told us that QUBE (that's our venue inside the Ramada Hotel) were closed!!!!

Whaaaaaat???????! On a weekend they're closed?

What are we gonna do now? I just bought this clothes for that place! Damn! haha. I wanna scream!

They just told us that we will go to Sheraton Hotel instead, they have a live band too, but smaller dance floor and the DJ are not as better as QUBE, but what the heck! We just wanna have a drink, dance all night and party!

The hotel is awesome. I wonder how it felt like staying on one of their rooms...

Inside the lobby of Sheraton hotel

At the entrance we registered and they gave us a membership ID which cost QR35 (which is about 437 pesos) and the drinks inside cost around 47 to 60 QR (500 to 750 pesos). Upon entry, I'm scanning the place for PLUs but only spotted 2 or 3, well, I must admit my gaydar sucks!LOL

Inside as expected, a mixture of races, the live band are purely Filipinos though, 3 female vocalist. And yeah, the dance floor is kinda small. We had a couple of drinks and when they sang Lady Gaga's just dance, we all knew its our cue to hit the dance floor.

And we danced non stop for an hour!LOL

I noticed a cute gay guy came in and greeted his friends, but also noticed that overprotective bf nearby haha. Oooops, he's taken!hmmmp

As the night heated up and we're burning the dance floor, the band suddenly sang a medley of some classic pinoy songs, and my friends started to pick partners and did the swing....waaaa I'm not good at it! and so we did dance the swing, my partner C, carried me and helped me through the steps, I knew some basics.

Suddenly I noticed there's only the four of us at the dance floor dancing the swing!!waaaaa I felt embarrass! Everyone was watching us! they must've cleared the floor for us to dance properly!

Thank goodness the medley ended. We went back at out seats and rest! I needed a drink after that!

A guy joined our circle while on the dance floor later and I thought he's into me, but realized he's kinda interested at my other two girl friends. haha feeling ako? he's been bugging us about getting our numbers.

Later that night, I noticed a guy near me, he looks Lebanese or something, wearing eyeglasses, between 28 to 30 I guess. Cute...he just joined our circle and came very near me. I ignored him and told myself its normal on the dance floor. So I flirted with him a little, and faced him. I started dancing with him as if he's my exclusive partner LOL!

I'm beginning to have a crush on him haha, but he looked shy. And I'm not sure if he's gay! My gaydar sucks remember?!

When I'm just standing and watching others on the floor, he came near me again, as if he wanna talk to me, I've seen him looking at me from time to time. When he said something, I replied, gave my sweetest smile and that's it, haha TORPEDO na ata akoooooo!waaaaa

I realized also that he's an Arab, and the last thing on my mind right now is to have anything to do with them. I don't wanna get involve with them. I'm just being cautious. I heard many things about them with gay guys. Not raping gays, but them being obsessive and if they cannot get what they wanted they will turn to the government and have gays deported.

So, I have to pass on him this time no matter how cute and nice he seems. Sigh. I also have to pass on that cute pinoy gay guy with his bf too, I just had to look at him from a far, at times, our eyes met and we just have to looked away from each other.

Until, its 2am and its time to go home. Too bad.

My feet ached, and I smell like shit! Too much smoker inside! grrrrrr!