A Sweet Torture

Its totally unexpected.

I didn't see it coming. I didn't text or sent any messages for him for a long time.

I was so shocked when my boss assigned me at Darkguy's area! We have 5 ICU here and he is a nurse on one of them... So this is it, I cannot avoid him forever. Its been almost two months since we last had that intimate moment, and I was so successful forgetting him, well, ofcourse I owe some of the credits to Aldwin, who kept me company. Until we had that bitter separation.

My friend told me: goodluck!

She knew about my affair with him. I took a deep breath when I opened the door of the ICU and gather all my self confidence. I spotted him immediately. Wearing his bluish scrubsuit. I pretended I didnt see him or even aware that he's there. I started my rounds, reading charts and signing the medications. One by one, bed after bed, one nurse per patient...

I am uneasy, as I was walking toward his patient. I have to go there. I cannot skip it! I thought I was comfortable with him already. i thought i already broke the awkwardness between us, but what am I feeling right now, did I missed him?

A big fuckin' YES!

I went to his table he was sitting on its chair writing, I took the medication folder from the side and started flipping the pages and signed each meds assigned for me.

"You have been quiet for a while..." he said while still busy writing. I already knew what he was talking about. So he's waiting for my messages?my texts? he noticed I wasnt giving him some attention? hmmm, I was so kilig LOL!

"Been busy with lot of stuffs" I lazily said to him.

"Why did they assigned you here?"

"I dont know with my boss, infact Im not usually assigned here"

"Yeah I've been wondering too...why is that?" he asked, there was a hidden meaning to the question, so he thought I intentionally requested not to be assigned on this area?

"I dont know, Im not the one doing the assignment, you know!" I said. But he looked unconvinced. He made a face.
"Oh, i will talk to your boss and senior staffs to always assign you here!" he laughed.

"Har-har-har" I said and walked away.

The whole shift, our eyes whenever we are on far corner of the room made contact and we're both gonna look away. Damn!

Whenever he needs me, he wont say my name, he'll just say "therapist-therapist, pls put my patient on anothe ventilator mode" its starting to annoy me. He cant say my name! And he kept on asking me where the fridge key for the medications. I already told him I gave it to one nurse!

Even though we're talking, there is this awkwardness between us still, I cannot make it go away, I know he felt it too.

That's why I was so surprised when my colleague told me that Darkguy and 3 others are moving to my transpo!!!! WTF! what happened to their own transpo?!

This is torture!

It was unbelievable when I sat on our van to take us to work and saw him at the back. Its really him. I sighed. I have to see him more often than before. At first I was just quiet and listening to my mp3 songs. Until time after time, he started teasing me with some silly things, he was so talkative when he's with his friends, I'll just laughed with them, they're funny.

But when everyone else was gone and there's only two of us on the van (since we live on the same building) he was sitting at my back and he'll touch my skinhead and said "ang sarap himasin ng ulo mo" then he realized it sounds so awkward, he immediately corrected it and said instead" ang lambot..."

He dont usually sit beside me, his fave place is at the back, thats why when one nurse about to open the door of the van, and I realized (and maybe him too) that she would sit beside me, its like in a flash Darkguy was already sitting beside me, I dont understand why he have to move beside me! Its the first time he did that.

He would usually asked whats my schedule the next day. I dont wanna think of anything else with his actions. I am not going to fall for him...

Before we go to work he usually send messages on my messenger, nothing important, just nonsense...haha. He'll send again after work.

When there are others inside the van, he dont run out of words to say.

But when its time to go inside our flat's building and we have to walk a few meters towards the elevator, he was silent, we are both silent, both of us dont know what to say and it felt like eternity and wished I could fly to reach it in an instant...

Very awkward.

We entered the lift and I felt like suffocating...most of the time, its just the two of us inside...

Torture.

Whenever I see him, there's always a flashback of his lips and how he hungrily kissed me.

I cannot take it out of my mind! Oh dear Lord!

"Bye"

He said, when he reached his floor.

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Related post entries on Darkguy:
The Lucky One..or Not?
A Painful Start
Do You Wanna Do It Again Tonight?
No More, No More
Nice To See You