Thursday. Its the 26th of November, his birthday. My day off, I remembered this was the date where he invited me to go out for dinner the very first time we ever chat. I waited for him to invite me again or to confirm that we're still going out. When we chat he suddenly logged out, I felt bad. Then a call came, asking me what am I doing, that if I still want to go out that day. I said yeah, I need to send money to my sis, which is partly true and that I wanted to see New Moon too.
He asked, if I will be treating him this time, I said why, its your b-day you should be the one treating me to dinner and the movie. He said no salary yet for him, I gave in, why not, its just 35 riyals per ticket. And besides I really really wanna see that movie (well, if you're a follower of my blog you already knew that am a twilight saga addict) He said a big yessss after.
Before he ended the call he asked me: "What is your duty tomorrow?"( I said 2pm to 10pm.) is it alright if I sleep at your place tonight?"
Well, I was surprised hearing that from him, a little curious of course. But I said yeah, sure.We agreed to meet at my building's lobby after one hour. As I was preparing my colleague called me and asked if we could exchange duty the next day, I said yeah, who would refuse to have a two days off?! not me!haha. But of course I have to pay him on Saturday with a straight 16hours duty too.
We bought tickets first, as I was about to pay he immediately gave his own money to the cashier, I'm confused, I thought I'll buy the tickets for us, he said, he can still pay for it.
We ate dinner then went shopping, he was a little annoyed at me for choosing and going to shop to shop and get nothing! I'm choosing very well, you know haha. He said he's tired already. He was nagging me too for being late at the movie, it was already starting I think 15 minutes when we came haha.
I love it. Jacob Black is so hot! And Edward's lean body oh my goodness....I could get wet by just thinking of them!LOL
As we wait for a taxi, I told him I'm extra off tomorrow. He's scheduled to leave Qatar for 4 days to have his little b-day celebration at Abu Dhabi and Dubai with his friends this Saturday. He told me that weeks ago.
I'm still feeling bad for not getting the clothes I want due to lack of time. He said, we will come back tomorrow and have dinner again.
"Really?we will go out again tomorrow?" I confirmed.
As the taxi lead us to the familiar place, he told me: "Mac, I'll stay at my place instead"
"Huh? why? I thought you'll go at my place?"
"Well, I thought this was our last day, turned out we are still going to see each other tomorrow, so no need for me to sleep over now..."
Then he got out of the car as we reached his place and I went home alone.
After my night duty next day, I was currently sleeping when he ruined it by calling me after 2pm, I only had 6 hours of sleep then, I'm supposed to wake up at 5!!! Damn him! He said he will be at my front door after ten minutes. I said OK, while my eyes still closed. I went back to bed after I hang up.
I heard my loud doorbell, I lazily went to open it for him. "you're very early, you should've come around 5pm!"
"its already 3:00 o'clock, you have enough sleep already" he said while he followed me to my room and he sat on my sofa and felt like a king on it!LOL
I went back on my bed and closed my eyes, my head aches. I had a busy night on work last time. He opened my TV very loud!
"Mac! lets order pizza come on!"
"you go order!" I yell
"you dial the number, this is your house!" he teased. I didn't move, he had no choice, he dialed it himself.
I wasn't able to sleep no more, so I joined him on watching TV and wait for our pizza to arrive. After 30 minutes we are both having fun eating. He was trying to tease me about our text conversation two nights ago, I avoided it and said, lets get it over with, I'm drunk that time LOL!
I could laugh about it already and felt stupid remembering it. I felt fine while we're together, its like we're two friends hanging out and enjoying each other's company. After eating pizza he went to my bed and about to take a nap. "what are you doing?" I asked
"I'm sleepy Mac, I wanna sleep for a while..."
Napakagaling di ba!
"what???! you ruined my sleep and now I'm awake thanks to you, you will sleep on me this time?!I hate you!" I wanna throw a pillow on him "just for a few minutes, you can join me, if you like" he said. I cant believe this guy!grrrrrrrr! I took a shower instead, took my time. And when I'm about to finish he's joking that there's a ghost on my house. I said "shut up!" haha.
We went to the business street near my area, I have some stuffs that needs repair, like my phone cable extension and he willingly offered to come with me. We went at the supermarket too, since I don't have anything to eat for the next few days. He carried the basket and helped me decide which stuff to take, we decided that we want "tinolangmanok" for dinner and he promised he will cook.
We even found this cute guy choosing potatoes and we both admired his cuteness, nagpa-cute pa nga kami e!LOL
The cooking time was fun, we are joking around while I chopped some onions and garlic while he did the ginger, etc. I watched him cook and promised me that it will be good. He even put together the phone cable I bought and fix it for me. He suggested a lot of things to my house and said he will help me.
Well, the tinola was good, I ate 3 cups of rice!LOL. We were laughing so hard at the episode of PBB where Rica was too obsessed smelling Johan's towel with his sweat after a game of basketball!!!
"I told you, we are better off as friends!" he said after a while. I definitely agree.
Yesterday he invited me to see a movie "the box" at the mall and I had him waiting for almost two hours, he was a little pissed ofcourse. What to do, I was so sleepy, that's why I took a nap first before meeting him haha.
The movie was creepy. I didn't like it. We went shopping after. He told me its his birthday this Thursday.
"what?! really? why you didn't tell me sooner so that I have time to buy you a gift" I joke around haha, when in fact I have no plans of giving him one LOL!
"so are you going to treat me on some fancy restaurant on your birthday?"
"I already made my treat, I bought you tickets to the movie, right?" he teased
"What?! just that!No-no-no!" I protested haha.
But I found out he will be busy on his birthday, and he is not sure if I could be squeezed in. Well, that made me sad. But its alright, its his big day, he can choose which ever way he thinks will make him happy. And besides I don't wanna sit around and just be a rebound guy if something went wrong on his plans and be a panakip butas after. I have my pride you know!LOL
If he wants to treat me or not, that's fine by me. I have no more expectations from him.
I still need that great companionship, that great best friend that I wish for. Someone I could talk anything about. Someone who never get tired talking to me. He failed to give me that. I don't know how long this could last, maybe he spend some time with me just because he has no choice whatsoever, or that if ever he eventually made friends here, or meet new crowd, he could hardly remember me, that I don't know.
So, my quest for another guy begins...Toink! ('',)
I see him online most of the time, but he never even say hi knowing that he sees me already. Maybe he's too busy, or just really not interested talking to me, that I don't know, I know its too demanding on my side, but damn I want him to talk to me even for a while, not like this ignoring me...I'm pathetic.
One day, I don't know what came to me and suddenly I missed him, my feelings are uncontrollable anymore, I wanted him to know how I feel about him. That I like him. Its like I woke up and I wanted him to know it.
Yeah, I'm impulsive at times, you might say.
I thought its best that he would know. Bahala na...
I texted him "how are you?"
"am good, you?"
"I saw on your face book status that your friends saying you have someone left behind at UAE...am jealous hehe" I tried to make it sound casual
"yeah, but its nothing, I just pasted a quote from somewhere and many of them reacted, its nothing. And besides why you'll be jealous, we're friends, right?"
"but what if, i tell you I like you?" there, I finally said it. I was inside the Pediatric ICU when I texted that, It took him a while before he replied. I know he's thinking what to say or he might be surprised with the revelation. I was doing something when he replied, I immediately went on on the stock room so that staffs wont see me texting LOL.
"you like me? but we're friends...and besides I'm not yet ready for another commitment. Let's be friends for now, who knows eventually it could lead to something special" he said
I was hurt and my pride was shattered.
Hmp, wag ko lang malalaman na magkaka bf ka soon kundi papatayin kita LOLLLLLLLLLL!!! may murderous intent haha. Joke lang!
The next messages I typed was: "OK, now I need to avoid you, I cant be friends with you knowing that I like you, it will be very painful to me seeing you most of the time..." jusko ang drama ko! haha
"but why...I thought we'll gonna be very close friends and now you want to avoid me?" he texted
"I dont know if I can be with you, it will be very hard for me..."-- me. Wow todo na kaartehan ko!
"OK, if that's what you want, good luck. It was nice knowing you mac..." his last text.
I had this sudden strike of loneliness after I read and erased his messages. It took me a while to concentrate on work, but knowing my personality, I immediately adjusted and my emotions shifted to the jolly person that always in me. I'm really thankful I have great colleague and friends on this side of the world.
I erased all links on him. Its my way of forgetting someone. It worked most of the time. I went to bed and the next day I hardly missed him at all!!!Waaaaa! I thought I will be down and aching cause technically he rejected me haha. And my romantic fantasies gone, but where is my pain????
Realization sinked in...that it was just a product of my desire to have somebody so bad that a simple infatuation I felt on him made me say that. A product of the whole week of fun being with him. And he was right, its better we could be friends, and that's what I want from the start, a gay friend like me...
A friend is much better, a good friend wont be too easy to find. A friend stays at your side.
As soon as I realized these, I texted him, I apologized " Aldwin, am sorry for what I said last night..."
No reply. I called. He cancelled. Is he mad? I asked myself.
He texted me "I'll talk to you later, am in a meeting right now".
The next day, he was different, no more messages, no more chats, I was sad. In my mind, so just because he didn't get what he wanted last night, not interested in knowing me anymore?
I was hurt.
I waited the whole day. I was impatient and contacted him first during the night! (i hate my self!) I asked him how he was and why he's not talking to me. He said he's busy and that we're not boyfriends to be constantly communicating...we're just friends, he repeated.
Ouch!
I thought we have something...I thought last night's great moments together will be a start of something...I was wrong...
So what if I gave in to our body's needs? would it make a difference? or should I be thankful that I refused to the lust we're feeling last night?
I told my self "OK fine, he's not the only gay guy in the world.
Two days after, he called asking where am I and whats my schedule, i told him I have duty from 2pm to 10pm.
"I'll see you in your house after ten, lets eat bulalo" he said. In my mind aba demanding ang mokong!haha.Bulalo ko gusto mo kainin? but I only thought of that!LOL. But I agreed. Maybe its better if we're really just friends. Which is what I really need.
I have an extra energy that day, too excited to come home. He texted me that he was on the way and be on my flat after ten minutes. I called the resto's number and ordered bulalo,but not available anymore so we had nilagang baka instead. I was too happy to see him when I opened the door.
We were talking that as if nothing ever happened between us, I suddenly relaxed and enjoyed our dinner. We had fun. He stayed for at least two hours, until he said he have to leave already, I suggested he stayed and leave in the morning instead. But he insisted on going home. I was disappointed I thought he will stay through the night, I wasn't expecting anything sexual... (but i have stolen lubes from work!LOL)
Saturday, it was my off till the next day, I was at home the whole time, I got bored when I suddenly invited him to go out and watch 2012 after seeing a local website that its already showing. I was surprised when he agreed. Agreed too fast. I mean i thought he would refuse and that I need to ask another friend to come.
"where and what time we go?" he asked.
I answered him and told me that he will wait on my building's lobby. 30minutes later he texted me saying he wont be able to come because he was doing something important. I asked him "why" and he explained, I replied
OK :-(
I was surprised when he sent the next message, "alright, I will meet you at 8!"
Haha I think its the sad face that made him changed his mind! We came in very late for the movie time, so we decided to buy the next ticket which was at 10:30pm time. We have 2hours to spare, he was hungry so we dined in at the food court, we're just talking there and appreciating many eye candies hehe. He was laughing at my jokes and stories.
He bought me ice cream and we're like children enjoying our cups of that sweet food! We entered this home store at the mall and we looked around and bought some stuffs and he promised that he will help me with cleaning my house since my house looks like shit! I told you guys I don't clean that much, I'm not use to cleaning the house. I told him I saw his former room at UAE (since he was originally working there before moving here) and that I love what he did on it.
He even said he will decorate my room for it to look nice and relaxing. "But will you really clean my house? and do the vacuuming?" I asked. "alright, alright, I will do it..." he said.
yessss!!! I said while laughing
The movie 2012 was awesome, great special effects. But failed to make me cry unlike those moments from independence day or Armageddon when they have that touching moments.
"Will you come with me when "new moon" opens?" I asked him after.
"definitely" --Aldwin
Its 1am when we reached home. I invited him to stay since its very late and he told me he forgot to bring his keys and I promised him he don't have to share my bed, that there's an extra room for him. He agreed.
"would you like me to prepare your bed at the other room? I asked.
"there's no need, I can sleep at your bed" he said
We slept together for the second time, this time no hugging, no kissing, its just plain sleep over of two gay friends. But damn, i cant sleep!haha I wanted to hug him and him to hug me.
Sigh.
He woke me up next morning and I walked him to my door and he left.
"Would you like to have dinner with me sometime? maybe on the 26th, is that OK with you?"
That's what he asked after some time of chatting through messenger, honestly, I like talking to him even though I haven't met him yet, well, I saw his picture already. I was able to know him when he sent me a message telling me how he likes my blog that he almost finished it from the beginning. I was flattered of course. We chat whenever we have a chance.
His name: Aldwin
I agreed on that date, since its my day off and its not bad meeting new friends. I was very vocal about having a new friend. I told him I don't have a bi or gay friend in my life, my friends are straight, male and female. It would make a big difference having someone like me. He agreed since he is new here in Doha, barely a month with no new friends yet, he told me later that he's the only Filipino on their company. Technically he is alone.
I was excited. Even if its 2 weeks to go. I was at work one morning when I decided to text him, we exchanged many messages, when later I told him me and other two friends will dine in at a resto and go to the mall after. Which he will go for late lunch too. He asked if we could meet there, I was hesitant. Its too soon, I thought I still have 2 weeks to meet him!
I'm having butterflies on my stomach! I don't know what to type in on my cellphone keypads. Yes or no? Finally I said: OK, I'll find a way when we're at the mall. My friends are already annoyed at me since I was on my phone almost the whole time while we're eating texting him. But my friends enjoyed the foods and the chats and it took them a long time before deciding to go malling!
Aldwin had to go back at their office! So there, meeting:cancelled! I was sad.
I told him we could catch up later or grab a coffee somewhere since he lives a few blocks from my building. When I came home around 8 in the evening, he invited me to have a dinner instead at a nearby fast food. I changed to casual clothes and hit the street, its a walking distance from my flat.
He came in earlier than me. Then I saw him, wearing his jeans and eyeglasses. Hmmm, pwede!!! He's a jolly person I could tell, and no pretensions, no "arte" whatsoever. I like him...as a friend, LOL! Its too early to think about anything romantic and besides I don't know what's in his mind yet. Our meeting was very nice, I enjoyed it. We're talking about anything for more than an hour.
I thought: I like this guy, he could be a very good boyfriend...
But I immediately erased that thought. I don't want to rush in and hurt in the process. Its better to be friends for the meantime, and if its meant to be, and escalated to something deeper, why not. But now, I got to hold my emotions and enjoy the new friendship with him.
"its still early, can we go to your flat and continue our conversation?" he asked.
Next thing I knew we were walking on the familiar street towards my flat. I was embarrassed because I'm not a neat person when it comes to my house!ahaha. I'm messy and lazy cleaning up! We watched TV and laughing and having a great time. We didn"t notice that its getting very late. Its 12am. He have work at 8am, I asked him: What time you'll go home?
No response. I knew he don't want to end the night so soon. I could sense it. Me too. I don't want him to leave yet. Sexual tensions are building up. I'm fighting it. I made a promise to myself that sex will be the last thing on my mind. I'm sick and tired of having sex first before knowing a guy or him knowing me first.
Hindi akopakipot ha! LOL
He was sitting on my couch and I decided to sit on its armchair, it surprised me when he lay his arms on my legs for comfort while watching TV, I allowed him, until he put my arms around his shoulders. I kissed his hair. I hugged him tighter this time. I don't want that moment to end. Its magical.
I whispered to his ear, I don't want you to go...
Ok, I'll stay...
But you have work in the morning?
I'll go at 6.
Ok.
Next thing I knew, I was changing the pillow cases on my bed! waaaaa!!! Am I doing the right thing here???? For sure something will happen!
I told him : no sex OK? we'll just sleep together.
"of course" he said. Then he took off his shirt and left his boxer shorts.
I panicked deep inside, if he will sleep shirtless that would be dangerous for me, I will feel his skin next to mine and I will explode with hornyness!LOL. I offered him a shirt, he refused, said he cannot sleep with it. I sighed.
When I came back from the bathroom he's already sleeping. I went to my side of the bed. I don't know what possessed me but I hugged him from his back. He acknowledge it, he came closer.I tried to sleep and keep my hard dick away from his back and butt!LOL prayed that it would stop pulsating!haha
I heard him snoring a little. I felt his bare skin on my arms. It felt good. I stopped myself from biting his earlobes. I slept after a while. I took my arms from him and decided to shift on my side, he followed and this time he was the one hugging me from my back. I missed this. Someone hugging me. Cuddling me...when was the last time someone hugged me this close while sleeping? a year ago? with Brian...
But I was surprised when he started giving me light touches on my shoulders, seducing me...he started moving his hips against mine. My eyes wide open! Oh no...this is it! Will I do it with him...but he promised no sex...
He took my hand and put inside his boxers, I felt his manhood...
"please s@ck it..." he whispered. I said no....he begged "please..."
I faced him and his lips gently moved closer to mine, I kissed him, slowly he kissed me back, then hungrily...I moaned with pleasure...
I like kissing, maybe liked it more than the actual sex itself...
We are both on fire, but I'm still undecided if I want to continue this... I promised myself not to be this easy on sex...been very casual about sex with darkguy before...
I promised my self that the next time I'll do it, it have to be with someone I love, someone who loves me...
I gathered all my self control and said : we cant do this, we are friends.
And with those words, as if I threw a cold drum of water on him and he stopped.
"yes we are friends" he said
I kissed his lips gently and hugged him until we slept.
Its 6am he rose from my bed, I didn't move a muscle wait for him to wash up and dressed up. He lay his head on my tummy and wait for me to respond. I hugged him. But didn't kiss him I knew I have a killer breath that time LOL!
I walked him to the door and as I was putting the keys he moved very close from my back and started touching me wildly, I was immediately on fire, I put my hand inside his pants and touched his manhood, he pulled down my shorts from my back and touching me...we almost did it.
He stopped and said: we are friends.... damn! i said im my mind
