Ang Kwento ng Natusok Na Daliri at Na-Dedo'ng Nepali

Nag umpisang mag alarm ang cardiac monitor sa may ulunan ko. Lahat ng vital signs ng patient ko bumabagsak na!

Heart rate: 30 beats per minute nalang!

Putaena!

Napamura ko sa sarili ko nun mapatingin ako sa mga nag aalarm-an na monitor. Itinigil ko ang pag extract ng blood sample (ABG) sa braso ng pasyente ko. Paglagay ko ng takip ng syringe, sa pagmamadali, natusok ako ng needle!

Putaena! ulit kong bulong sa sarili ko.

Sumampa ako sa gilid ng kama at dali-daling inumpisahan ang pag si-CPR. Habang nagdudugo ang daliri ko.

One...and...two...and...three...and...four...and five... pagbibilang ko sa isip ko habang pina-pump ang dibdib ng pasyente sa may tapat ng puso nya...sinusubukan ko patibukin.

Nag iisa ako sa kwarto ng nepali kong patient. Nasa loob ng Cardiology ICU.


Parang slow motion ang lahat...


Saglit kong itinigil ang pag CPR at tumakbo sa may pinto at sumigaw sa unang nurse na nakita ko sa station. Kelangan ko ng tulong.


Parang eksena lang sa tv series...


"sister! come quickly! patient is bradycardic! I need a crash cart!" sabi ko sa Indiana'ng nurse.


Tapos tinutugtog daw yung kanta na "How to save a life..."


Echosera lang!


Saka ako nagmamadaling bumalik sa pag CPR! Tuluyan ng nag arrest ang patient. Wala na ko heart rate. Shit!

Tuloy pa din ako sa pag resuscitate. Nagdatingan ang back up ko. Sunod sunod na sila dumating. Dala ang emergency cart.

"Sister, get the bag and start bagging!" sabi ko sa isang nurse na lumapit.

Habang pinapaliwanag ko sa negro'ng doctor na dumating kung ano ang nangyari...

"Stop! Everybody stop. Patient is DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)!" narinig ko nalang na sabi ng nurse in-charge sa ICU.

Napa-Ngak! nalang ako! Sabay tigil nang ginagawa ko ng wagas na wagas!

Pumirma na pala ang relative na in case na mag arrest yun patient e wala na kami gagawin anything to save him. Hahayaan nalang. Kasi malamang napaliwanag na sa kanila na hopeless na.

Effort pa naman ako! hmmmp!

Fact: dapat kasi inaalam muna ang mga a-choo-choo-choo sa chart ng patient!

Oo! Ako na! lol



Bakit nga ba ako humantong sa sitwasyon na ito nang nag iisa?

Una, tinawag kami nun nurse na assign sa isang pasyente ng colleague at friend ko na si Fatima. We have to do APNEA TEST daw sa patient nya. Kasi kelangan ma-determine namin kung brain dead na ba siya. Para ma suggest sa mga kamag anak na baka gusto nila i-donate ang mga organs nya. Sayang nga naman at bata pa yun patient. 32 lang siya. Inatake siya sa puso last week at di pa siya gumigising till now. At wala improvement sa case nya.

O di gora naman kami ni Fatima since rumarampa lang naman kami dalawa kanina pa! at least may magagawa!haha

Pinakuha namin ng ice yun nurse at mga kelangan pang ek ek sa procedure. Sabi ko kay Fatima siya nalang ang mag record at mag monitor ng vital signs at ako na ang gagawa ng pinaka-procedure.

Nakita ko na may hawak na baso yun nurse na assign sa patient na gagawan namin ng test. Naawa naman ako kasi mukhang gutom na siya. Kaya sa halip na kasama namin siya mag monitor e sinabi ko nalang na we can manage the test alone.

Hindi na din ako nagpatawag ng doctor na dapat e andun sa duration ng test. Kasi nga delikado ito.

Nagmamaganda kasi.
Ilang beses ko na kasi ito nagawa kaya naman confident ako.

Dapat within ten minutes tapos na ang apnea test. Kundi magiging false/positive ang result namin.

Tinanggal ko na ang life support ng patient. Wala ng makina'ng hihinga para sa kanya. Inilagay ko ang catheter na naka konekta sa 10 liters na oxygen papasok mula sa tubo sa bibig niya na diretso sa lungs. Inobserbahan ko kung nahinga ba siya sa sarili nya. Negative.

Dinidikta sa akin ni Fatima ang vital signs na nasa monitor. Ok pa. Keri pa daw sabi nya.

5 minutes later...

"mac, sats natin 75% nalang..."

"ok pa. acceptable pa yan. I need few more minutes" sabi ko.

"mac, its 60% nalang..."

"Ok! kukunan ko na siya ng blood... teterminate ko na tong test as soon as naka extract na ko ng blood sa artery sa braso nya"

FYI: Ang normal na sats e dapat 100%. At normal na heart rate at 80-100 bpm.

Nagmamadali ako. kelangan ma-hit ko agad ang artery in few seconds..

Tinusok ko na ang braso nya...sinusubukan hanapin ang artery... pero wala! shitness!!!

Hindi umaabot ang karayom ko. malalim ang ugat. I need a bigger needle Fatima! sabi ko sa kaibigan ko. Nagmamadali siya tumakbo sa stock room para kumuha. Naiwan ako mag isa.

Tumingin ako sa monitor 60s pa din ang saturation ko. Tinusok ko ulit. Blind shot na ginawa ko. Pero di talaga maabot.

Pagtingin ko sa monitor..50% nalang sats niya at bumabagsak na ang heart rate niya! 30 beats per minute nalang!

Sa pagmamadali ko ibalik yun takip ng syringe, napasala ang hawak ko at natusok ko ang sarili kong daliri! Nagdudugo pa din to habang nag si-CPR ako.

Worried ako sa kalagayan ng pasyente at sa natusok kong daliri. Nagamit ko na yun karayom sa pasyente. Hindi ko pa alam kung positive siya sa Hepa and I dont wanna think of the worst but...pano pag positive siya sa HIV?

"Stop! Everybody stop. Patient is DNR!" narinig ko nalang na sabi ng nurse in charge sa ICU.

Umalis na kami ni Fatima after na ideclare na expired na yun patient namin. Ganun kabilis nawalan ng buhay ang Nepali...

1o minutes...all it takes was ten minutes.

Halos dependent na siya sa ventilator at mga gamot.

Nag report agad ako sa supervisor at sinabi ko na natusok ako ng needle na gamit na. Pinagawa nya ko ng Incident report. Inasikaso naman niya ako at dinala ako sa emergency room sa main hospital para ma examine. Kinuyob ako ng mga kaibigan kong nurse sa ER haha! Celebrity?

Tanga-tanga mo!!! sabay gigil na batok sa akin ng ilang kaibigan ko. Concern na concern sila noh? LOL

Kinunan din ako ng blood sample.Tapos ke-laki-laki ng karayom na ginamit! Taena'ng mga yon! wala na daw maliit!

Till now nangingitim yun tusok sa braso ko ni Eric! nag-Hematoma! patay sa kin yun pag nagkita kami!


May appointment ako sa infectious disease clinic next week.


Hoping and praying na Negative lahat sa sakit na nakakahawa ang namatay na patient. Sumalangit nawa ang kanyang kaluluwa.

Nakakaguilty din somehow na namatay siya habang ginagawa ko yun procedure sa knya. In my own hands...Oh may gawd! chos!


Iniisip ko na...

Na sana kung hindi ako masyadong naging confident...

At sana hinanda na muna namin lahat ng kelangan na size ng needle para di na tumakbo si Fatima at maiwan ako mag isa at sana na-monitor ko agad na bumabagsak na ng mabilis ang heart rate nya...

Na kung sana di ko na pinayagan mag meryenda yun nurse nya...

Na sana pinatawag ko na din yun doctor bago ko gawin yun procedure...

Na sana na-hit ko agad yun artery nya ng mabilis...

Na sana di ako su-syunga-syunga na natusok ko ng karayom ang sarili ko...



Hay...

Lesson learned talaga.

Erwin's D**k!!!

I was checking my Facebook and saw a familiar name on my friend's status update, where he made a comment, it was Erwin. I was excited seeing his photos or what happened to him after college. That's why I love these social networking sites, you get to see a lot of old friends. I had an erection remembering him nyahaha!

I cannot forget this guy because, his d*ck was the first thing I've seen when I was in college!

Well, let me take you back ten years ago...



Rewind...rewind...rewind...



It was P.E class, swimming, we were at this resort at Sta.Rosa, all of us guys went there to attend and turned out the class was postponed due to typhoon, but we all decided to stay and have a swim. We had the pool area just for us, no girls. (except me?LOL! that they didn't know at the time)

We were at the poolside talking about something until suddenly, I don't know why on earth did the topic shifted from something wholesome to sex...and pubic hair!

JP, a shy and reserved guy at school, was teased to show his pubes, he was reluctant at first, they teased him as coward and to our surprised, he pulled down his short and showed us a large portion of his pubic hair minus his dick haha. Taena! ke-lago-lago ng bulbol ng hayop! lol

In my mind, oh my god, I am so enjoying this moment!LOL! L na L na ko buhol palang ni Jp yun ha!

Chuck, on the other hand, wanted attention too, he was at the water, he pulled down his shorts and undies all the way and threw it on us! we could still see his thick pubes even if he's on the water... mega habol ako ng tingin sa tubig...kita ko yun etits nya! shet! too bad I cannot see his d*ck clearly haha it was blurry!

Rey, took his shorts and hid it somewhere he had to chase him with his hand covering his manhood and the other on his asshole while running! it was hilarious seeing his dark butt!

Until its Erwin's moment, he likes to brag. He said "wanna see mine?" the guys teased him: Sige nga pakita mo titi mo...

I was nervous and anticipating on one corner and praying: "pls dear lord! show it to me.. I beg you!!!"

LOL!

He stood infront of us and pulled down his shorts and revealed the monster inside...his pubes were just right....and his dick...its brownish...its head...pinkish...he was starting to have an erection and I could see it growing slowly and pulsating...I swear it was so mesmerizing!

I don't know for how long I've been staring at this guy's dick! Mygosh! buking na buking ako!LOl

I looked around and I think everyone was on it too! Lahat kami paminta?ewan ko! mukhang ako lang naman hahaha.

I wanna touch it, grab it, and kiss it... but I cannot, I am still at the closet at that time. That sight haunted me for a week haha. But Erwin didn't stop there, on our next class, we were all at the shower room together ....his body was covered with foam from the soap he's using when he started masturbating in front of us using the soap as lube!

I simply stared at him while others are laughing and yelling how perverted he was. He didn't mind, he continued until he came! I saw how high and how far it went on LOL! I forgot how many days I wanked in my room with him on my imagination!

After that, whenever I talk to him, I cannot see his face, all I see is his penis! Toinks!



(this is a repost guys from May last year)

Power Punch

I've been bullied since I was a young kid. I was 9 years old when other kids started teasing me about me being gay. They called me names. Teased me. They humiliated me in front of other kids.

It was tough. Kids could be mean and heartless you know.

It made me cry. Made me angry. I was confused. I don't know why I'm different. Why I can't blend in with other boys. Instead I found comfort in the company of girls.

My sister was the one usually defending my honor (honor daw oh! charot!LOL). I know for a fact that I was brave fighting girls but not boys. You know catfight...chos!

With boys I have no strength...I was defenseless...didn't know then that in the future I would also be no match with boys breaking my heart... and the sad part is...they're also gay like me! *sigh*

Didn't know why I love chinese garter. Why I love paper dolls... or why I hated boyscout and camping and jamboree and sports...yeah sports!!! specially basketball!!!

Fucking basketball!!!

My dad even pushed me to join other kids play balls. But I just can't! I can't I told him. And I remembered how my dad used to hurt me with words....words that would cut deep inside my soul.

It took me a while before I could honestly forgive my father for all the emotional pain he had given me.

It took me a while before I could finally accept that i can't do anything about the teasing and the bullying of other young kids. I was a weakling.

This is the part that I learned how to be numb and to not care anymore. It lessen the pain...I guess...

I kept it all inside and dealt it myself...I never told anyone...who would help me, anyway?

This is the part that I played deaf...blind...and insensitive. But there are times that they could still get to me. Still cutting inside me...sometimes no matter how hard you tried to ignore it, but the pain was too great that you cannot let it pass easily...

I was at the school playground after class with my sister on the bike and this kid 2 years older than me annoyingly teased me about being gay and all... I was really trying to ignore him and my sister was defending me once again and he said something that really really pissed me off... I just couldn't control my self...

I said words at him to hurt him back...and he said words to hurt me back more... mas masakit kapag pagkatao mo na ang tinitira e...I don't know. Maybe young gay kids are really sensitive to be teased with being gay at that time, or its just me? I don't know.

I left my bike and walked towards him with clenched fist and I punched him straight at his left eye...

He was in so much pain that he was unable to move or speak anything while holding his other eye...

I myself was in pain too for punching him. I didn't know that it will hurt this bad too. But inside me...I was feeling damn proud. I didn't know how to punch till that day!

yeah I'm the man!

I went back to my bike and told my sister to go. We saw the kid recovering from my POWER PUNCH and running towards me... He wanted revenge!

"Go! Go! Go! let's run! " I told my sister. I'm on a panic. My heart was beating like crazy!

"bilisan mo! ayan na siya kuya!" my sister screamed in horror.

The kid pulled me out of my bike and punched me in the eye too! I was hurt real bad that I was feeling numb. It was so painful. I cried! yeah I cried!

I was not able to fight back. I had no strength at all. The kid run as fast as he could after. My sister threatened him that she will call our cousins and get back at him.

Once again, my sister defended me. She helped me stand up and get back at my bike.

Yeah I was a weakling...









Fuckin' memories! hahaha!

I still see that kid from long time ago. We're still living on the same neighborhood. I've heard he's working on some low paying company in the county. Loser... look at me now!ganda ko! chos! may paghihiganting ganap?LOL

Anyway, have a great weekend guys :-)