Not So"Gay" Life Afterall

Who says being gay is simple and all fun? I mean straight guys and girls dont know much.We live a life that is happy and a mixture of struggles and hardships.Sometimes I just wish Im straight and get married and have children so that my life could be less complicated. But what can I do?I tried to be straight for 20 years of my life.But felt unhappy.I thought life could be much easier if I just stop denying who I really is and accept the fact that I'm "gay". Well, let me tell you this...Being gay is not so simple after all..

• A gay man have to stop himself from loving a straight guy. If they can't help it, most of the time they are being abused.You know, financially and emotionally.This I cant allow to myself, but I don't wanna judge others.Maybe they just "love".
• I have to fight to my family especially my dad's acceptance that I'm not the Junior or the only son he wanted me to be.He have to live with it, that he have "two girls" LOL!
  
• When I was a kid I have to pretend that I like airplanes, cars, and balls..when in fact I'm dying to play my sister's Barbie!LOL!!!
• I have to like basketball too and cheer for the team "Ginebra" when I was watching PBA ( Philippine Basketball Association) with my dad.
  
• I have to suppress my erection whenever I'm watching a sexy guy on TV or "beta max" when I was 12 years old haha.
  
• I have to stop myself from looking at guys d*cks at the public restroom on the urinals.I mean, this is the hardest ever!I have to gather all my will power and call all saints to do this!LOL ( saint-Rupaul pls guide me!)
• I have to stop myself from screaming "aayyyyyyyyy" like a lady every time I watch a horror or thriller movies at the cinemas with my straight friends whenever there's a scary scene.
• I have to stop myself from ravaging a straight male friend who is sleeping over at my house!
• I have to be goodlooking/gym-fit for other gay men to like me.
• I have to be numb and insensitive whenever a gay man dump me or rejected me.
• I have to stay up late and chat to gay channels to get a hook-up or dates (others go to bath houses, gay bars and comfort rooms <-- yuckie to LOL!

• I cant even kiss or hold the hand of the one I love in public.
  
• I have to suck c*ck( I'm not really fond of sucking I get tired easily haha). I have to lick and rim someone' s else ass and kiss his lips after!hahahaha! nakikita ko mata ni umleo na nanlalaki sa sindak while reading this!!!
• People expect gay men to be successful most of the time.
• I have a hard time explaining to my friends that I'm into "gays" and not straight dudes instead haha.Because you see their misconception was, if you're gay, it is expected that you like straight guys too."Ano ka tomboy?" I remembered my sister asked me that haha
  
• I have to prove to my family that Im not like any other gay men, that became so slutty and f*cks around.
  
• I have to show to the world that I dont need to buy or send gifts to someone to be my boyfriend.
• Have to be so carefull in choosing someone to introduce to your family,you know they get to be so over protective that they thought the guy might be a gold digger or something.
  
• I have to be so manly so that I wont be discriminated at work or anywhere.
• I have to get use to the fact that straight men usually get so affected/too conscious whenever they knew someone gay was around them. I mean there's always the indifference, i dont know about you guys, but i've seen this. What are they thinking?we would take advantage of them just like that?!so kapal ha!LOL
• I cant even marry the one I love. (What?go to Canada?hehe)
  
• Have to convince myself that God will accept me in heaven when I die...Even if Im gay,I live a life that I know according to what is right...except for loving a man.
  
• I have to prepare my self that someday soon..one possiblity that...I will be old and...ALONE.