August 27, 2012
Solo Flight
Simple lang ang buhay ko dito sa Doha City, oo nasa middle east ako, madaming takot pumunta at mag trabaho dito, ganun din ako noong una. Sino ba naman ang hindi, andami nating naririnig na istorya na hindi maganda about sa mga kababayan natin dito.
Solo flight akong naglakas loob na magtrabaho dito. Nakaka frustrate kasi sa atin minsan. Pagod na pagod ka na tapos yun lang sasahurin mo. Nakakainis pa mga nasa gobyerno.
Bukod sa mainit na panahon kapag summer dito na umaabot ng halos 45 degrees ay wala na ko mairereklamo pa. Ay! meron pa pala yun nakakainis na censorship, di tuloy ako makanood ng xtube! LOL at kapag -VER months naman ay nagtatag lamig na ng sobra! pero ala naman yelo, chosera kayo.
Pero since madami naman proxy na magagamit, nakaka download pa din ako sa ibang site (libog! hahaha) Pero oy, normal yan sa nag aabroad, magtanong ka sinong nag aabroad ang di nag poporn at nag babate, babatukan ko! char
Hindi ko akalain na mae-enjoy ko ang buhay middle east. Plano ko nun una ay tapusin ko lang ang tatlong taong kontrata tapos ay yun na. Pero heto ako ngayon, goin on my fourth year and I'm planning to stay for another 5 years.
Siguro dahil madalas mas gusto ko mag stay sa bahay, manood ng movies, mag internet magbasa basa ng kung ano ano at higit sa lahat adik ako sa tulog, kaya siguro swak na swak sa lifestyle ko ang dito mag work. Madami kasi ang nagsasabi nakakainip dito sa bansang ito.
Meron naman mga night clubs and bars dito. Madami din malls, sinehan. Napuntahan ko na din ang iba sa kanila. Pero madalang lang, since hindi naman ako pala inom ng alak hehe.
Hindi mo din kasi halos mami-miss ang pinas, kasi andaming pinoy! jusmio! kung gano kadami ang Indian ganun din kadami pinoy! nyak!
At since madami ang pinoy, nagkalat din ang mga pinoy restaurants at products haha, one time nga nasa jollibee ako dito, may lumapit na pinay at nagtatanung baka daw gusto ko bumili ng kakanin sa kanya, may kutsinta, puto, palitaw at biko daw siya. O da vah? winnur!
Malay natin, next time may mag tanong naman sa kin if gusto ko ng lalake at mura lang, why not coconut! charot lang! haha
Masarap na mahirap ang buhay solo sa ibang bansa, pero somehow na eenjoy ko yun independence e, ako mag grocery, mag handa ng kakainin, although madalas nagpapa deliver nalang ako!
At pwdeng pwde mag uwi ng lalake sa bahay! LOL!
Pangalawa, wala ang tatay ko! hahaha! Kung matagal ka ng follower ng blog ko, alam na alam mong allergic ako sa tatay ko. Kaya tama na yun isang buwan bakasyon sa pinas kada taon, kasi saglit ko lang siya nakikita at less time para mag away kami. ewan ko di ko masakyan ang trip ng tatay ko. Nakaka stress! Jokeeee!
Kampante ako dito kesa nun nasa pinas pa ko. Zero crime rate kami, o diba? hehe. Hindi ako worried na mahablot or madukutan ng mamahaling cellphone or gadget habang nasa daan or kung san man public areas ka. Importante kasi yun e. Yun relax ka lang. Yun wala kang intindihin na masama.
Kaya naman ang mga pinoy dito ay todo postura at display ng mga gamit, bakit hindi, kaya naman nila bilhin e hehe. Wala pang tax! grabe yun! ito pinaka importante sa lahat! tax free ang sahod mo! naalala ko pa nun nasa pinas ako, grabe ang kaltas sa tax ng kapiranggot kong sahod! kaloka. wala ng halos extra pang date at pang lalake! charrr
Masarap sa pakiramdam na sasahod ka ng tama, sasahod ka ng sobra sa pinag paguran mo, madalas kasi petiks lang ako sa hospital haha, feeling ko luging lugi ang management pagbabayad sa akin! LOL
Higit sa lahat masarap makatulong sa pamilya, kahit ngayon na may health problem na kinakaharap ang pamilya namin, kahit papano, nagpapasalamat ako andito ako sa middle east at nakakatulong kahit kaunti. Hindi biro ang may sakit sa pamilya, na stretch na namin lahat ng resources and kulang pa. Pero alam ko di kami papabayaan ng diyos :-)
Wala naman hindi nakukuha sa pag dadasal di ba?
August 26, 2012
Paint The World
Been LSS to this song dahil kay DH! kakainis ka! hehe! pero thanks for introducing me to this song and artist! Cute din niya kasi!
Hey, Mr wise guy
Tell me who are you,
To lay it out the line
Every single time
Hey, i'm always right guy
Never by your side guy
This here ain't your show
Thought that you should know
That I can paint the world any color I choose
I can cut and delete like i'm directing
Cast the show, be the host
Lights, camera, action
Write the script so it will be everlasting
Me, I'm Mr nice guy
But I ain't scared of you
It's either sink or swim
And either way I'm in
See, I play the game now
There aint no other way now
I'm going till i'm gone
Singing my own song
I can paint the world any color I choose
I will cut and delete like i'm directing
Cast the show, be the host
Lights, camera, action
Write the script so it will be everlasting
Baka may alam pa kayong song na maganda diyan I'm open for suggestions hehehe
Hey, Mr wise guy
Tell me who are you,
To lay it out the line
Every single time
Hey, i'm always right guy
Never by your side guy
This here ain't your show
Thought that you should know
That I can paint the world any color I choose
I can cut and delete like i'm directing
Cast the show, be the host
Lights, camera, action
Write the script so it will be everlasting
Me, I'm Mr nice guy
But I ain't scared of you
It's either sink or swim
And either way I'm in
See, I play the game now
There aint no other way now
I'm going till i'm gone
Singing my own song
I can paint the world any color I choose
I will cut and delete like i'm directing
Cast the show, be the host
Lights, camera, action
Write the script so it will be everlasting
***
August 19, 2012
Layers
You enclosed your heart with a thick layer of protection...no one knows where you found it...no one knows where to get them. Only you.
You thought, you could add another one more layer, just to be safe. Through this, you said, anyone can't just pass through it and hurt your heart again...
Its too safe here. You whispered. As if whispering to a friend and assuring him: no one can harm you now.
You were so hurt the last time that you became so scared of being vulnerable again...you don't wanna be on that place again...to that dark place. It took you a long time to be free of the pain and now that you are, you wanna be protected at all cost.
Years have passed and you became comfortable wearing these layers inside your heart.
In fact you forgot its there all along...
You missed being loved...
You found a special someone...
But by loving someone, you need to remove these layers that you're wearing for such a long time...
You don't know how...
You are scared to be without it.
He offered. You let him. One layer. Just one layer at first you said.
But you felt so different without it...
It became your skin...it became a part of you...you felt so naked and cold...
You turned around...took a deep breath
And put it back again...
--dedicated to YOU.
Labels:
gay relationships,
heartbroken,
layers,
loving,
scared,
traumatic love
August 15, 2012
Naked Soul
I was bored last time and I BBM'd Gian who's also waiting for my invitation for a week now.
I've told him he can come over tonight. I don't have anything to do and decided to invite him. Me and Gian both knew what's coming.
Sex.
That's the only thing we have. I don't see him as someone I could love...I don't know what he feels. I never asked him. Maybe I'm afraid for what he might say. I don't wanna hurt him. So I better not ask. Its safer this way.
Maybe i invited him tonight so that I could see once again or prove to myself that I could...that I should...
Besides, he already have an idea what we are. Fuck mate. Taga kamot ng pangangati. Shit, thats sound so bad. LOL
When he arrived, after a short conversation I closed down the curtains and turned off the lights and left the bathroom lights on.
I was on top of him...kissing him...gently...i was trying to feel something when my lips touched his. The kiss intensified, deeply and harder. I felt he hugged me tighter. Almost squeezing my body...
In between these moments I was still analyzing what Gian means to me...I continued kissing him some more...
We paused and catched our breath to remove our clothing...i felt his naked body under mine...it was warm. I always love this kind of feeling, being with another man. Skin to skin. Naked body to another naked soul. Will always miss this kind of feeling....
He was sucking my nipples and I literally holding on to his hairs...when he went down there I moaned. It felt so good.... Gian is always good on this department. I have no match for him.
When its time for me to return the favor, I was ashamed of my performance haha. But I tried so hard...i did! So lame!
He asked me to positioned my self on top of his chest and have my manhood straight on his mouth...I remembered pounding his mouth so hard that he almost choked.
Our body became one. The room was filled with his moans and whispers...I was trying to enjoy the moment.....I don't know what happened, I suddenly felt, blank...
He noticed. He asked. I said, go on. Can you cum now?
He asked: what about you?
I answered: Don't mind me. You go ahead.
No. Lets cum together. I'll wait for you. Gian begging.
But I'm not in the mood anymore. I lost interest. I just want to get it over with and take a shower and sleep. I feel sorry for Gian. He don't deserved me. He's a fine man.
Gian tried to get me back in the mood again. I pretend.
I have no idea why this happened. One minute i was on fire and the next minute, I was bored. is this a start of the menopausal stage? nireregla pa naman ako a? LOL.
I lost the erection. Gian tried to wake him up. I said: stop it... I'll jerk you off and you can cum now...
He told me he cannot cum without holding a dick or something while jerking. Hmm, that's weird. Pinagbigyan ko siya...we're both lying on the bed naked on this dark and cold room...was jerking each other....till I've heard his soft moans...arching his body...i tried to move my hand faster....harder this time...I could feel his manhood almost exploding on my grip...his breathing became faster...and his moans louder...
"I'm cumming..."
Felt the warm liquids dripping down my hand. Gian kissed me. I cleaned my hands with the tissue on the floor. Entered the bath room and took a shower.
Gian followed after I'm done. I told him to get dressed.
Are you done? you wanna go now? I asked.
Yes.
I walked him to the door, and kissed him to the cheek.
I went straight to my bed and hugged my pillows and stared at the dark ceiling of my room.
August 9, 2012
F.O.U.R
I almost forgot about this important date! August seven!
So stupid of me!
My blog turned four 2 days ago!!!
Yeah MacCallister is four years old!
Yey!
Palakpakan naman tayo! LOL
Grabe lang, four years of blogging, never thought I would lasts this long haha. Andaming nagsulputang blog, andaming magagaling, andaming mayayabang...andaming epal....charrrr!
Seriously, I am thankful for all these years, my readers and friends, for being there all the time. Whenever I'm down, or I'm happy, or I'm in love, when I'm heart broken, or in love again, or heartbroken, or maybe in love again and heartbroken....oooops!
OK! Ok! I know you get it!!! LOL
Pero natatawa ako, may nabasa akong forum last time, naisingit ang blog ko sa usapan, there's this one member who gave an exact number, bilang daw ng naging boyfriend ko! he knew this by being a follower of my blog haha! pero salamat sa mga kapatid natin abroad na nakiki chismis sa masalimuot kong lablayp!
Oo! sa masaklap kong buhay pag ibig!!! chos!
bakit ba kasi ala akong voyprend? ahahahaha!
Anywayz, never in my life that I would regret starting up this blog. So many things I've learned, so many experiences I've shared to the world, and most importantly, so many friends I've gained. Walang makakapantay dun.
When I get home before the year ends, I will try my best to meet as many as I could, both from blogosphere and twitter :-)
Andami kong crush na blogger! kasi supladito yun iba kakainis! tse!
Pero siguro sa lahat yun sobrang mai-intimidate ako or ma-starstruck e dun sa mga superstars: Si Aries, Mcvie, Herbs,Kane. Mga sharon at vilma na yan sa pagba-blog! hahaha! ay si kane si kris aquino ang dating niyan! LOL!
Si citybuoy, nora aunor level yan! ang galing kasi ng blog! leveling! maiiyak ka at dadalhin sa isang dako pa roon! si pilyo naman, siguro rosana roces!
Oy biro lang po!
Again, thank you to all of you! to my 349 blog followers, salamat sa inyo!
Cheers!!!
Four years and counting! Hongtanda ko na! kuya germs level na ata? LOL
August 4, 2012
Karamay
Ilang araw na din namin pasyente ang dad nila. Andami nilang magkakapatid na lalake. Pito ata sila. Magagandang lalake pa!
Lokal silang taga dito. At kumpara sa ibang lokal, mababait sila. Hindi sila rude, hindi mayabang, at hindi mapangmata ng kapwa.
Marami kasing lokal na palibhasa mayayaman, at andito sila sa pinakamayaman na bansa sa mundo, nag iiba na ng ugali. At dahil mapera, yun iba hindi na nag aaral. Mangmang na. At sila ang may pinaka karumal dumal na pag uugali haha!
Naranasan ko pa nga habang nagra-rounds sa ward last time, nakaupo yun lalakeng kamag anak, inuutusan ba naman ako kunin ko daw sa hanger yun damit niya in his arab language. E ang lapit lang sa knya, isang tayo niya lang ayun na makukuha na niya letseng damit niya!
Hindi ako makapaniwala. Mukha ba akong utusan niya? Naka white coat naman ako at scubs, may stet sa leeg, napapailing ako. Kunyari di ko siya maintindihan. Kaya dinedma ko ang hayuf. LOL
Akala mo pag aari nila lahat ng expat. Pero madami pa din naman palang edukado at maayos ang ugali. Isa na ang pamilya nila.
Comatose ang dad nila. Nag arrest siya at andito sa ICU namin, panget ang prognosis sa knya. Pero we're still giving him all medications and treatment.
Ang punto ko lang, dahil sobrang babait nilang magkakapatid, magalang sila magtanong sa amin, they trusted us, mas magaan magtrabaho. Mas bukal sa kalooban namin yun araw araw na tasks. Yun wala kang feeling of imbyerna kasi annoying ang relatives. Walang ganun.
Kaya naisip ko somehow, a bunch of nice relatives, gives us a nice day at work. Mas nagagawa mo ng maayos ang trabaho. Di ko sinasabi na nawawala quality of work namin, pero iba pa din kasi na alam mong hindi ka mabubuwisit sa mga kamag anak.
Kahit busy, kahit stressful ang shift, kahit mangulit sila, hindi mo magagawang magsungit e. Kasi ikaw ang mahihiya sa kanila.
Kaya naman nun dumating ang gabi na nag code blue kami sa dad nila. Andun sa loob yun isang anak na lagi nakabantay sa dad niya noon. Nagdadasal sa isang sulok. nagsusumamo kay Allah...napapatingin ako sa knya ng ilang beses dahil nararamdaman ko fear nya of losing their beloved father.
Nun tingin nya wala ng nangyayari sa paulit ulit namin pag shock at pag CPR, unti unti siyang parang nauupos na kandila...unti unti gumagaralgal ang boses na nag dadasal...hanggang sa maging hikbi...maging hagulgol...
Ang hirap kasi mag concentrate na may nakikita kang ganung eksena. Hindi kasi siguro ako sanay na ganun siya...i always see him as matatag, malumanay, composed.
Nangingilid na luha ko nun. Pinipigilan ko. Kasi I need to do my job. Pero shit naman, tao lang ako. Konti pa feeling ko tutulo na luha at uhog ko!
Sabi ko sa katabi kong pinoy na nurse, teka muna I need a breather. Nadadala ako pagdadalamhati niya. Lumabas lang ako saglit ng 5 minutes. At saka muling bumalik. After an hour and a half. We pronounced him dead.
Dinig sa buong ICU ang lakas ng hagulgol nila. Malakas na nakakabahala. Natatakot yun ibang pasyente. Kaya naman kelangan pa palabasin ng guards yun iba. Pinakiusapan na to keep it down without being insensitive.
Naglabasan kaming lahat sa kwarto at isinara ang pintuan to give way to their mourning.
Naisip ko, kaya siguro nadadala ako sa emosyon ko kasi, lagi ko nakakausap ang mga anak nun patient, how they treated me nicely and politely. Kaya naman siguro nakaka relate ako sa pinag dadaanan nilang sakit ngayon. Somehow in a short period of time, I become friends with them.
Napatunayan ko na...Kapag mabait ka sa kapwa mo, masusuklian ka din ng kabaitan. At magge-gain ka ng mas maraming kaibigan at karamay.
Labels:
code blue,
dying,
hospital ICU,
mourning,
ofw stories,
pinoy gay stories
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