These questions have been running and bugging me whenever they got a chance to, they just "popped out"! I tried to ignore it, but its so persistent, so guys, why don't you help me out? '
Am I the only one having this thoughts and actually do this? Lets compare answers! Game!
Do you honestly think, God created us? to be actually gay?
Yes or no?
I can't really answer this one. Honestly. How about you?
Do you even pray that God could give you a decent and loving guy to make you happy? or you're too ashamed to ask God about it when in fact they said in the bible that gays could burn in hell?
Yes or no?
I still pray. Do you?
Do you think you could still get married with a woman and have children? without the urge to get a guy and have sex with him?
Yes or no?
I could say yes. Why not. Its possible. How about you?
Do you still believe that maybe in the near future, gay could be totally accepted and respected in our country?and be married???
Yes or no?
Maybe in the year 2080? LOL. What do you think?
Are you afraid to get tested for HIV? Yes or no?
Yes I am! are you that brave?
Do you apply powder on your face?
Yes or no?
I do! (pressed powder pa nga!hahaha). I have an oily face so, I apply frequently as discreetly as possible! LOL
Do you spit or swallow? I cannot believe I'm asking this haha!
Yes or no?
A big No-no-no! haha I just can't do it! I don't even like the guy coming inside my mouth what more to swallow it! *fainting*
Do you exchange saliva with your mate (not thru kissing ha!) like he's on top and he will drop a large portion of it on your waiting open mouth! haha
Yes or no?
For me, its no way! too gross! what about you?
Do you like to be given a bouquet of flowers from your boyfriend or suitor?
Yes or no?
I don't think so! You like the idea?
Do you have the guts to kiss your boyfriend in public?
Yes or no?
I can't!!! hahaha. kaya mo???
Do you kiss then suck d*ck then kiss and then rim and then kiss again?
Yes or no?
I'll leave that question for you to answer! hahaha
There are many couples out there, men and women, men and...errr men too! Some are married, well in other states, and some are just committed. Maybe in time, they will tie the knot soon, or just waiting for the right time to move in to their own love nest. But, above all of these, there are the singles...
do you have any idea how many single gay guys out there?
Nah, I don't have the statistics too, but I'm pretty sure, there's tons of them! Maybe, You are one of them!
I am definitely one of them!
Come to think of it, if there are many single guys out there, in fact too many to count, how come many are still loveless? Still cannot find that one right man for them?
Why can't those millions of single guys meet and date? No more lonely people in the world. No more lonely gay guy, I mean! Yeah!
But still many are searching... Many are still lonely... Many are still praying to meet him... and be happy soon...
I am still waiting! LOL. Whats taking him for so long to find me? *eager much*
Why?
High standards. Maybe. Too choosy. Maybe. But beauty fades...material things lose their value. I DON'T KNOW
But whats left was, whats really inside...whats really behind that beautiful shell of him. There are other fishes in the sea, maybe you're just looking at the wrong body of water...lakes is there at the back...rivers was inviting you there for a swim for a long time, you just focused too much time at the ocean and its beaches...
What if...
You already saw him at the store at the mall, you saw him and he looked back at you too. A first sign. But you're just too shy to approach him...and you let that chance passed and lost him.
When in fact, if you did approach him and ask for his name and eventually led to a coffee date somewhere else after...he could be that guy you are waiting for!
He danced with you at the club and introduced himself and asked for your number, but you didn't replied his messages after...because you thought he was too confident or you thought he would play you...and you let the chance passed by...
When in fact, that guy was really interested and serious about having a long and committed relationship this time after being playful for so long...
Or he was a reader of your blog for so long and he was constantly emailing you, sending you instant messages...but you thought he's too boring to chat with...you just ignored him and let the chance to talk to him and know him passed by...
When in fact, he's just not the chatting kind of guy and he was more interesting to talk to in person...
I for one, had Jason in my hands before, but I did not took good care of him and I let him slipped off my fingers and didn't do about it sooner. I lost him forever. Because I didn't take a chance to come back for him and asked for a second chance to prove that I really do love him. We could have been together till now. I just let the chance passed by. Why? simple. Its my pride. Fried chicken shit! LOL
But its all in the past now. That's 6 years ago! I'm just saying!
Lets continue!
I mean, there are countless possibilities...many opportunities that I thought could have been a happy ending if we just have the courage and...
take a a chance.
Rejections? So what! At least you tried!
But if.. what if...ah, damn! He could be the one!!!
Take a chance...that one chance in your life. Who knows, your future love is just waiting and just around the corner.
Orlando Bloom having his coffee. I could see some bulge in his shorts there! Yummy!
Good morning guys! Its 10:00 am here and I just had my breakfast today, I had salted eggs and fried rice, and I poured in green tea with milk (labay-kape daw yun) on it and it tasted really good, felt like I'm having breakfast in the Philippines lang!
I did my 16hrs straight duty last night, from 2pm to 10pm to 6am!!!I'm so needing that sleep right now. Pero blog muna haha. I was so busy, calls here and there! I was literally visiting patients from all floors! I was so freakin' tired!
Anyway I will sleep the whole day today since it is my day off!
Oh my gulay...lovely lips and that tongue? sexyyyy! I'm fainting! LOL
Itinayo ako ng tiyahin ko mula sa pagkakasadlak ko sa sahig pagkatapos ako hilahin dun ni tatay palabas ng bahay. Ibinagsak nya ang pinto pagkatapos. Nakakatawa kapag binabalikan ko sa alaala ang mga pangyayaring ito, Oh di ba, parang isang drama lang sa telebisyon...
Wala akong tigil sa pagmumura ng pabulong sa tatay ko...Isinumpa ko siya sa galit...matagal na nasa kalooban ko yun plano na:
"Gago ka...pagtanda mo, tandaan mo to, itatapon ka naming magkapatid sa ampunan ng matatanda hanggang sa mabulok ka dun at mamatay..."
Naramdaman nyo na ba yun sobrang galit na halos sumakit ang dibdib nyo?
Nakatungo ako habang patuloy pa ding umiiyak patungo sa bahay ng tiyahin ko likod ng bahay namin. Isang compound kasi kami. Na-appreciate ko si tita nun mga time na yun. Mahal din pala nya ko, sa isip ko. Nun maisip ko nanay ko, lalo ako napaiyak...kung andito si nanay di ako gaganituhin ni tatay, may magtatanggol sakin...hikbi ko...
Kasalanan niya kung bakit napilitan mag trabaho bilang DH si nanay sa Qatar noon, kahit di siya sanay magtrabaho, ginawa nya, kahit alam kong takot na takot ang kalooban ng nanay ko, kinaya nya, kasi ayaw nya magutom kami, dahil hindi kumikilos ang tatay ko para kumita...wala na nga kami pera, hindi pa namin masakyan ang kakaibang pag uugali niya...nahihirapan kami sa knya...isa rin yun marahil kaya narindi na ang nanay ko at lakas loob na namasukan sa ibang bansa....
Huli ko nalang nalaman na ginawa pala ng nanay ko yun pag a-abroad: "Kasi mag kokolehiyo na si Mac...gusto nya magkolehiyo..." sabi niya sa isang kaibigan nya.
Ako pala ang tunay na dahilan bakit niya ginawa yung pagsasakripisyong yun...ambait ng nanay ko taena.
Taena. Yun nalang nasabi ko nun. At sinumpa ko na aalagaan at mamahalin ko nanay ko hanggang sa huling sandali ng buhay ko. Mahal na mahal ko si nanay.
Nag umpisa akong buo-in muli ang sarili ko, pulutin at idikit-dikit ang nawala kong pakatao na nagkalat sa kung saan saan...Sinubukan kong mabuhay muli...
Pagkatapos ng insidente sa bahay namin, dun ako tumuloy sa bahay ng pamilya ng Ninang ko, kapatid siya ng nanay ko, inaanak nya ako sa binyag, kaya Ninang ang tawag ko sa knya imbes na tita.
Worried man akong iwanan ang nag iisa kong kapatid na babae sa piling ng tatay ko, wala ako choice...
Paborito nila ako, magaan ang loob nila saming magkapatid kahit nun mga musmos pa kami. Nagsumbong agad ako sa kanila, galit galit sila. "Huwag ka na babalik sa inyo, dito ka nalang, walang'ya talaga yang tatay mo..."
Tumawag si nanay kinagabihan nun malaman niya nangyari sakin, ramdam kong alalang-alala siya sakin...halos isumpa niya ang tatay ko sa galit nya. Dito na rin unti unti'ng nawala ang pagmamahal niya sa tatay ko.
Pagkalipas ng ilang araw, dinalaw ako ni tatay. Civil sa kanya lahat ng tao sa bahay ng mga Ninang ko. Pero di ko siya kinausap. Bahala ka sa buhay mo, hudas ka, bulong ko sa sarili ko.
Ilang beses siyang bumalik balik, para siguro mawala galit sa knya ng nanay ko at mga kamag anak nila. Para sa sarili niyang kapakanan kaya siya dumadaan sa bahay na yun, hindi para mag sisi sa ginawa niya sakin.
Mahirap din pala makisama sa bahay ng kamag anak, isa yan sa mga napatunayan ko. Mababait sila, di kami nagugutom kasi well-off naman yun pamilya nila. Pero parang de-numero ang bawat galaw ko, bawat gawin ko. Tumutulong ako sa gawaing bahay, natuto ako magluto ng simpleng putahe gaya ng nilagang itlog at pritong hotdog LOL!
Pero parang laging kulang ang ginagawa ko, kapag pa upo-upo lang ako, parang naiinis si Ninang...lagi kang pinaghahanapan. Ano ba ko pamangkin o katulong?natanong ko sa sarili ko. Pero wala ako masasabing masama sa mga pinsan ko. Lagi silang nakasuporta sa akin.
Nag enroll ako sa isang pribadong kolehiyo sa Laguna pagkalipas ng ilang buwan, nanay ko ang magpapadala ng pang matrikula at sina Ninang sa baon ko. 50 pesos lang baon ko nun, imagine! Di ko alam pano ako nabuhay ng ganun sa college!hahaha (that's around 1996).
Pero pahirapan bago nila ako bigyan ng baon sa araw araw...parang hirap silang bigyan ako, minsan nag-tutulog-tulugan siya. Minsan, nagtitiis nalang ako di kumain sa school, kasi wala ako extra.
Nakakaawa na nakakatawa ang itsura ko nun college, pag binabalikan ko, napapa-ewwww! at yuckkkkk! nalang ako, nakamahabang buhok na hating hati sa gitna na nilalagyan ko pa ng gel, take note ang gamit ko pa nun e "michael's styling gel" LOL. Mata ko lang din ang walang taghiyawat, ewan ko ba galit na galit silang lahat kaya kung magtubuan sila parang wala lang...
Panalo din ang salamin ko sa mata! Ang lalaki ng frame at ke kapal ng grado. At kapag ngumiti ako, maglalabasan ang sobra sobra kong ngipin na patong patong na parang sa chainsaw!
Ang Cute oh!LOL
Ang outfit? Maong na binili sa palengke, Wragler pa nga tatak, imbes na Wrangler. tapos ang nag iisa kong sapatos, jologs na jologs pa na binili namin sa Footsteps nun pasko, may batik na shirt pa ata ako nun! ika nga nila: Barrio-tic!!!!!!!!! as in kakadiri talaga!
Mahirap makihalubulo sa mga mapo-porma at may mga kaya sa school namin dati. Ang lakas ng inferiority complex ko, at ang self steem ko, sing-baba ng mga parasite sa kanal.
Kumuha ako ng kursong nursing nun unang taon, pero taena di ko kinaya ang mathematics for nurses! Sumuko ako! nakakarindi ang computation. OO aaminin ko, bugok ako sa math! LOL Nag shift ako ng course sa hilera ng mga Therapist ako pumili...
Pero tiniis ko ang sangda-makmak na anatomy, biochemistry, zoology at kung anong anik anik pa bago ko makuha ang diploma!
Lumipat na rin si nanay sa Dubai para mag work, hindi na siya DH dun. Natuwa ako, kasi alam kong di nya kaya mag DH. Maayos ang naging lagay nya sa bagong trabaho nya. Nakokopya ko na rin ang mga way ng pananamit ng mga student sa school namin, na-e-exposed na ako sa mga malls at sa mga tambayan. "Sushal" na?!
Mejo jologs pa din...pero mejo-mejo nalang naman!LOL
Mas itinago ko pa ang pagiging bading ko. Pinilit kong magpakalalake, pinilit kong wag magkaroon ng rason ang mga tao na kutyain ako. Masaya ang buhay ko sa kolehiyo. Ang buhay istudyante....hay kaka-miss tuloy. Isa to sa mga masasayang parte ng buhay ko na di ko makakalimutan.
Ito ang simula, simula ng buhay ko, simula ng lahat, nais ko ibahagi sa inyo ang aking kabataan, ang aking pamilya, ang malayong loob ko sa aking ama, ang aking buong pagkatao (di naman lahat!slight lang!) Ito ang serye ng aking buhay, sana ay subaybayan nyo ang kada labas (parang pang primetime bida lang a!), at nawa'y masundan ko ng kasunod kapag may time ako!LOL
Ito na ang marahil ang pinaka personal post ko ever. Samahan nyo akong balikan, makiiyak at makitawa sa simula ng aking buhay. FYI: di pa ako mamatay! LOL
Ito ang tunay na ako...ito ang mukha sa likod ni Maccallister...
**********
Lumaki ako sa probinsya ng Laguna, dalawa lang kami magkapatid, isang lalake at isang babae, sabi ng Nanay ko, tama na ang dalawa, kasi naka babae at lalake na siya, dun naman sya maling-mali! Gurl din ako noh! LOL
Hindi kami mayaman, tama lang kumbaga, di kami nagugutom. Naalala ko pa nung anim na taon ata ako nun, pinapasan ako ng Tatay ko nun, ilalagay nya ako sa knyang mga balikat habang papunta sa bahay ng mga lola ko. Siya din ang nagturo sakin pano isulat ang buo kong pangalan, napakalinaw pa nito sa aking isipan hanggang ngyon. Para sa kanya ako ang kanyang nag iisang anak na lalake. Unico-hijo. (hija po...LOL) May pagmamalake nyang sabi sa mga kumpare nya non.
Nag abroad ang tatay ko para matugunan ang pangangailangan namin sa araw araw, nahihiya na sila umasa sa aking mga lolo ng tulong pinansyal. Nag Saudi siya. Grade 2 ako nun una kong maramdaman na may kakaiba sa akin. Hindi ko mainti-intindihan kung bakit hirap na hirap ako makihalubilo sa mga kaklase kong lalake! Taena, kahit anong pilit ko di ako maka-blend in.
Sa mga babae ko nahanap ang kasiyahan ng paglalaro...chinese garter, jumping rope, bahay-bahayan (enjoy ako sa luto-lutuan!) at ang pinakamalala: paper dolls! siyet! ang galing ko mag design ng mga damit nila nun infairness! kala ko nga magiging fashion designer ako e!
Tandang tanda ko pa, magtatago ako sa room ko para lang makapag laro nito, ayaw ko makita ng Nanay ko, siguradong papagalitan nya ko. Naka-lock ang pinto, kahit pawis na pawis ako, go lang, di kasi pwde buksan ang bentilador, liliparin ang mga damit! Inilalakad ko si manika'ng papel ko suot ang kanyang casual wear! LOL
Tuwing magbabakasyon ang Tatay ko, nagtatanung siya kung sino daw ba ang crush ko sa school, kung naglalaro ba daw ako ng basketball (hello, ok ka lang? manika ang type ko noh! gusto ko isagot sa knya non) pero mahiyain ako, mejo takot ako sa knya nun.
Nagsisimula na din ako tuksuhin ng mga kalaro ko ng "Bakla! Bakla!" galit na galit ako dati, ang sakit pala kapag tinutukso ka ng ganun. Para akong nabubuhay para tuksuhin at laitin ng mga kalaro.
Gusto ko umiyak at tirisin silang lahat.
Kapag nagsusumbong ako, sasabihin nila, suntukin mo kasi kapag tinukso ka. Sana kaya ko, naisip ko. Pero di ko kaya, wala akong lakas ng loob para upakan ang mga hudas na bata'ng yun. Mahirap ang kalagayan ko ng aking kabataan, di ko alam bakit ako ganun. Di ko alam pano sila titigil sa panunukso.
God knows, gusto ko maging normal. Pero bullshit talaga, kahit anong gawin ko, talagang di ko mapilit na maging kagaya ng kapwa ko lalake. Dusa din sakin kapag boyscout at girlscout season na. Hate na hate ko yun camping, kasama puro lalake, nasa sulok lang ako lagi. Taena!sino ba kasi nag inbento nun!
Maganda din lagi ang mga notebook at pencil case at iba pang gamit ko sa school nun, kasi nga nasa abroad si tatay. Angat ako sa klase. Sa Sm makati pa kami namimili ng gamit kada pasukan, mula pa kami sa Laguna nun ha! kasi dun palang ang pinaka malapit na Sm! naiisip ko ngayon, ang tiyaga ng Nanay ko bitbitin kaming maliit na magkapatid sa layong yun! E ilang jeep transfer at oras din yun ha!
Gala din tiyak ang ang nanay ko! Ever!
Grade 5 ako nun mapansin ng aking guro na magaling ako sa klase, bright ako sa section namin. Kasi section 3 ako! LOL. Lagi ako nasa row 1. Magaling din ako magbasa at mag pronounce ng english. Naging first honor ako buong taon sa aming pampublikong paaralan. Dun unti unting nabuo ang self-confidence ko. Proud na proud Nanay ko nun recognition day nung sinabitan nya ako ng ribbon. Nagpa-pansit siya nun hapon. Ramdam ko mahal ako ng nanay ko.
Grade 6 ako nun nagdesisyon ang tatay ko mag quit na sa pagsa-saudi nya. Di ko alam ang dahilan. Ang dating maginhawa naming buhay, napalitan ng pag hihirap, lagi kami kinakapos sa gastusin. Di na ako makabili ng magagandang gamit. Baon ko pahirapan pa hingin. Ito ang lowest point sa buhay ko.
Dito din nag umpisa ang kalbaryo ko sa piling ng aking Ama. Nahahalata na nya ng mga panohang ito na...ba-bakla-bakla ako! LOL
Kapag nakita nya na nanonood ako ng The Sharon Cuneta show imbes na PBA, mag papasaring siya ng mga nakakainsultong salita gaya nito..."hay naku ang anak ko...showbiz na showbiz... sharon cuneta....ay nakuuuuu...." mag totonong bakla siya dito.
Galit na galit ang kalooban ko nito. Madami pa siya'ng insulto'ng sinasabi nun kabataan ko. Tinitiis ko lang. Kasi tatay ko siya. Madalas kapag naglalaro ako kasama ang mga batang babae, madalas hihiyain nya ako sa harap nila. Iiyak ako at uuwi ng bahay.
Bawat pilantik ng mga daliri ko kapag hawak ang kutsara at tinidor, bawat oras na nahuli nyang nakapameywang ako, bawat oras na nakita nya ang mga kasing edad ko na lalake na naglalaro ng basketball sa may tabi ng bahay namin...lahat yun may katumbas na insulto... tumatagos yun sa kalooban ko...masakit...ramdam ko kung gano siya ka disappointed sa akin...kung gano siya nahihiya na ang unico-hijo nya ay nagiging isang bakla...
Galit na galit ako. Dumating sa puntong sinusumpa ko siya. Hinihiling na sana mamatay na siya ng maaga at ng matahimik na ang bahay namin. Pero lahat yun di dininig...ilang beses akong naiyak sa gabi, nakatalukbong ng kumot...naiisip na magpakamatay...o kaya maglayas....andami dami kong naiisip na gawin...
Pero di ko kaya. Duwag nga ata talaga ako.
Isang beses na kumakain kaming mag anak, aksidenteng natalsikan ko ng sabaw ang nanay ko pagkasandok ko ng ulam, pinagalitan ako ng nanay ko: "ano ba,dahan dahan nga ang pagsandok..."
Sumagot ang tatay ko "e kasi babakla-bakla ka na naman..."
Di ako nakatiis, sinagot ko siya ng pabalang "nagsandok lang ako, bakla na???!" tumayo siya at sa bilis ng pangyayari, nakita ko nalang ang sarili kong mukha na nakasubsob sa platong kinakain ko. Dinuldol nya ang mukha ko sa plato. Galit na galit siya sa akin. Umiyak ako at tumakbo sa kwarto ko na nanlalagkit at may kanin sa mukha. Narinig ko na lang na nag away sila ng nanay ko.
Nag abroad ang nanay ko pagkalipas ng ilang taon, di na niya kaya ang mahirap naming sitwasyon. Walang pera, may tatay ka pang walang hiya.
Araw-araw nag aaway ata kami, natuto ako sumagot at lumaban, nawala respeto ko sa knya. Ang tagal ko nag tiis, binalewala ang mga turok sa kalooban ko tuwing pagsasalitan at hihiyain nya ko. Mas matindi kapag nakakainom siya.
Nagiging dimonyo siya kapag nakakainom. Ako lang ang nakikita nya. Lahat ng masasakit na salita na kaya niya ibato sakin ginawa nya. Kapag di ka umimik, ipo-provoke ka niyang sumagot, at kapag sumagot ka na, may dahilan na siya para saktan ako, babatukan nya ko, hahampasin ng kung ano man, pero di nya ako sinusuntok...ewan ko kung bakit.
Isang beses, nilabanan ko siya, tunulak ko siya, natumba siya, umusok siya sa galit, natakot ako, tumakbo ako...dumating ang tiyahin ko nun marinig ang malakas na sigawan sa bahay namin. Rinig na rinig ng mga kapitbahay ang pagwawala ng tatay kong hayop...
Yumakap ako sa tiyahin ko ng mahigpit, takot na takot ako...hinihila ako ng aking ama palayo sa tiyahin ko, ang lulutong ng mura nya... hinihila nya ko palabas ng pinto...
"Putang ina mo...tang ina mo, halika dito, bumitaw ka diyan! wag ka makialam dito!( sabi nya sa tita ko) Pinagtatanggol ako ng tita ko, naririnig kong sinasabihan nyang tumigil na tatay ko, na bata lang ako at wag niya pag diskitahan...
Walang tigil ang pag iyak ko. Hagulgol...saka ko lang narealized na hinihila nya pala ako palabas ng bahay...nun makabitaw ako sa tita ko, kinakadlad nya ako, halos mag dugo ang tuhod at siko ko sa bilis ng paghila nya....
"Putang ina ka, lumayas ka! Di kita kailangan!!!" sigaw niya. Nakita ko pinag titinginan ako ng mga kapitbahay namin. Awang awa ako sa sarili ko...
Want you to make me feel... Like I'm the only guy in the world Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love Like I'm the only one who knows your heart
Only guy in the world...
Been singing this song over and over again, to think that the chorus was the only part I know about it! hahaha. I can't even stop myself but to move and dance! Hope they'll play this when we go clubbing on the 29th!
Last song syndrome ko ito at the moment...its Only Girl by Rihanna. Well maybe, the lyrics kinda revealed how I really feel right now. How I long for that someone...like how he would love me as if I'm the only GUY in the world...like I'm the one you'll ever love...ayannapapakantana namanako! Sabisainyo e dikomaawatsariliko e! Chos!!!
I was at the supermarket, checking my list from time to time so that I wont miss a single item. I spotted this small dude wearing a light pink shirt...skin head...ah, just my type, very nice! I thought so. Our eyes made contact for a few seconds before I looked away, I was sure he's a PLU too.
I went to the opposite direction from where he went, I don't wanna be too obvious that I kinda like him. So I just played a little hard to get LOL!
I don't wanna be assuming, but everywhere I go he's there too! Always the eye contacts...and every time our eyes met, we just both looked away and pretend we didn't see each other.
I don't know about you guys, but eye contact? always a gay thing for me. And this time eye contacts are way too frequent, it gotta mean something? or I'm just too assuming again????!LOL
Finally, I was at the vegetables section and picking up potatoes, someone bumped my elbow and to my surprised, it was pinky guy! You gotta be kidding me!
But he never spoke a word till I have to leave.
It happened again yesterday, same thing, a different gay guy, eye contact, following me-I follow him, I'm there-he's there kind of thing.
I mean!!! For God's sake! Why Filipino gay men this shy! too torpe!!!
I'm approachable naman! If they say anything at all, I would give my number and address in an instant! and probably f*ck that day too!
POKPOK lang?LOL!
Kidding aside, jusko naman, kuntento na ng ligaw tingin hmmmp! They could do better than that.
They're just waiting for me to make the first move or make the first conversation then? But on a second thought, why didn't I make the first move instead?
Well, I guess I'm shy too! LOL!
This is me at the front of our hospital after our department meeting...
This year, I've decided to be more personal on my blog entries (di pa pala personal yun mga kahalaya'ng pinagsusulat ko dati?!), I wanna share more of ME to my readers...I wanna bare my soul...
So now I enumerated some things you don't know about me (some would say, who cares?!kever blog ko to noh!):
Since I'm so single-ness, sex-less and "waiting", I have to do the deed on my own! and I cannot do it without watching porn! I'm a certified porn addict LOL. I love Latinos, and dark guys f*cking! and with lots of hairs down there too! That's too hot for me! My external hard drive are full already, I gotta buy a new one with a bigger storage capacity! :-) and by the way, I use tissue to wipe it.
I fantasize Rocco Nacino, Mike Tan, Paulo Avelino and Rayver Cruz make out with each other over and over! hahaha ang babata nila! My pagka-Pedo ako?!LOL
I lost 9 kilos after I followed this 3-day diet that my friend gave me, from 64 kilos I am now 55!!! I was so shocked too that I lost that much! I discovered that rice is the enemy too! LOL
I have sweaty hands. Its too awkward when I'm holding hands with someone. (lalo na pag HHWW! ewwww!) I'm treating it with what my derma suggested. ah-ah not the one on your mind! I'm not pee-ing on my hands noh! yucky!
I own 2 eyeglasses ( i have a 300 and 275 grade), a cheap one for my everyday use at home and a thick nerdy-look bvlgari eye wear for going out and I do wear super dark brown colored contact lenses while at work.
I have 7 different colored scrub-suits for work that I bought from pinas! Everyday different scrubs, Oh di ba hongtohray!!!
I don't know how to play basketball!!! Well, I guess most gay guys don't! I don't know if I'm right though. Actually I don't have any sports at all! hahaha
I love watching scary and gory movies. I loved the Walking Dead series too. I am a TV show addict, seen too many of them to mention.
I still wear the ring that me and ex-bf bought till now (bond-ring) not because I still have feelings for him but because it a pretty nice ring! LOL
I have my head shaved every week. As in every week!! No skip! Been skinhead for about 8 years now.
I was sexually abused by a gay cousin who owns a beauty parlor next to our house. I didn't tell my parents about it. Kinda liked it too back then though. bata pa malibog na?LOL
I don't like dinuguan and bopis and kilawin...but I love to eat adobo'ng atay and balunbalunan!
My brother in law has a body as hot as hell! Sometimes I cannot stop but to look at it secretly! LOL
I'm a lazy bastard! If you could only see my room, you wont believe that its mine! I'm so freakin lazy to clean up!
I don't use toothpick to remove the food trapped between my teeth and braces, I use the 1 ml tuberculin syringe! My friends have to close their eyes once I start using it after we eat!
Till now, I still remember how it felt like to be loved by my ex-bf Jason. If I could turn back time, I would do anything not to break his heart. But till now, no one ever loved me like the way he did 6 years ago...it was intense and romantic. I am hopeless romantic!
Most of my ex-boyfriends are chubby! I don't know, Im not a chaser naman!haha. Nagkakataon lang...madali kasi akong ma-inlove kapag pinakitaan na ko ng ka-sweetan! Chos!
When I do blog hopping, it annoys me when the blogger set the music to play automatically on their page. I would immediately turn it off! Sorry guys!
Biggest mistake ever? was when I committed my self to a past relationship that I even changed my principle just for him! Now I regret it big time!
It will take me 2 or 3 changing of clothes before I could finally decide which one to wear!
I spotted him many weeks ago, a new staff nurse at the cardiac unit. I noticed the way he talks, the way his hand sways as he walk by, he is too silent, too shy... all led to my conclusion. He is gay.
And I like it! LOL
Let me call him hmmm, what shall I call him that's very close to his name...hmmm, alam ko na...Hardy...
Toink!!!
It was not my area, at that time I was covering pediatric ICU, but it didn't stopped me for dropping by at the cardiac ICU. To hell with protocol! LOL
Well, my friend allowed me to be there and helped her anyway. Who would refuse some help right?
"I know why you're here!" she said with accusation
"I just wanna help you, I've finished early on my area!"
"Oh come on! He's on that side! Go on and flirt with him!You slut!" she was laughing while walking out on me.
I saw his patient, I took our folder and start checking the settings on the machine. I occupied his table so that he has no other choice but to say "excuse me" and come closer to me when he need something on his paper works! I did take my time. Took longer than it should be. I need to talk to him even with just a few words!
"Sir, his nebulizations are on hold because he is currently tachycardic..." he said. OMG! he was the one who actually spoke first! *fainting*
"But his cardiac rate is not that high now naman a, what is your base line bah?" I asked with a serious tone. I looked at his face while waiting for an answer. Surveyed his face actually. He is really cute. Moreno. lalake'ng-lalake ang dating...Those lips..hay...I wanna kiss them...
"ah.." he flipped his charts and looked for the vital signs record. It took him a while. I noticed he was unsure what to say to me. OMG, I didn't mean to scare him...nagpapa-cute lang ako sa tanong ko! LOL
Bago pa nga siya... I thought.
Many times I attempted to see him, but he was too shy. Hardly talks to me. Kainis! mapapanis lawayngka-date nya! feeling i-date nyako?hehe
The other day, I was assigned on the emergency room on the ground floor but I still managed to visit him at his unit at the 6th floor! lufet ko nakarating ako dun!
Nagagawa nga naman ng pagla-landi...
Once again, I pretend I was busy checking our files on his table. He was on the other side, I know he is waiting for me to finish, but damn, I took longer than usual and he still didn't talk to me! What's with this guy! grrrrrrrrrr! usok na ilong ko!LOL
He was going in and out of the room, as if he's really avoiding me...shit, I'm already rejected? hahaha. One pinoy dialysis nurse was also on the corner of the room and he was the one who tried to make a conversation with me. I noticed his bangs, too much effort on styling, too gay, I thought.
He was nice though. By the way where is Hardy???! hmmp! In my frustration, I left the area and started walking out of the ICU. A few meters after I closed the doors, I looked back, I don't know, I just looked back...
and there he was...
standing...
looking at me...looking at me?!
Shit!I caught him looking at me...
taena!!!!
He did look at me while I was on my way out!!! (hinahatid nya ko ng tingin???feelingero na din ako?hahaha)
*kilig*
I took the lift with a wide smile on my face...Yes!!!
First of all, I would like to greet everyone a very happy new year!!! Hope that this would be a great and blessed year for all of us (pero siyempre dapat mas lalo na sakin!LOL)
Anyhoo, this is also my first post for this year! yey! la lang!hehehe
I'll just share to you what I did these past few days. First,I celebrated new year's eve at my friends house,Val, well, he was kind enough to let us in and joined them this holiday. I was supposed to be on night shift duty, but KC, asked if he could swap scheds with me, which I gladly said yes! Why not! It means I would be able to celebrate the new year's eve with my friends!!!
After some call and blah-blah-blah, we finally made it to the small get together. Val prepared the amazing foods! Loved his cherry cheesecakes and his crema-de-futa I mean fruta pala! hihihi. Some people brought their own specialty,yum yum yum, and me? well,I just brought myself and ate! LOL!
Me and my two closest friends posing before the clock hit midnight.
Kakahiya, as in literally, nakikain lang kami haha, e kasi naman galing pa kami evening shift noh! la time to prepare foods! *defensive*
Stories from the bath house and the chronicles of E
My sister sent me gifts thru my cousin who just arrived here. Its the book of Mcvie and E!!! yey!!! Napatili naman ako ng slight nun makita ko! I love yah my dear sistah! Mwah! wala daw nun kay MGG when I asked her bakit kulang ng isa! haha.
Its payday, its new year so, the malls are having their amazing sale! I was very happy when I entered A/X store and found out they dropped down their prices too. I bought the 3 cheapest shirts I could afford! LOL
Hugo Boss also released their new scent "Bottled.Night" I immediately fell in love with the smell when I tried it. It has a fresh, clean, masculine, and long-lasting scent. Yun lang binili ko, inawat ko na sarili ko hahaha. Baka wala na ko lamunin sa sunod na araw!
I also greeted Clayton a happy new year thru sms message. He greeted me back, and that's it hehe. I just want him to get the idea that, everything is in the past na.
Since I am single, wala man lang ako ka-putukan! kainis! hmp!
I am currently eating a baked potato with melted cheese and sausage and mushroom on top and inside which I ordered at this Italian food store at the food court. It's one of my new favorites! Ang sarap!!!!
Hay, I don't know what would happen this year. But I'm expecting good things! and a new loving guy please...LOL!
