I was at the mall today after I paid my credit card bill (which by the way is so maxxed out!haha) I was just walking,strolling,window shopping and feasting to the cute guys I see...then I realized I am the perfect example of the regular-original-classic-single-gay guy in the country!The only consolation I have is that I know I'm not alone haha I know a lot of homos out there who are exactly like me today!LOL
Since my last relationship ended last December 13 ,its been what,two months now.I missed it.I miss having a boyfriend.I'm used to having someone by my side most of the time,whenever theres a good movie,a 70% off sale to the malls and dates on special occasions.All the signs of being single are all pointing towards me now.Take a look:
I stay up late all night chatting with other gays out there and looking for a possible date! (atat na atat!) example:"nasl?are you free tom?lets meet!dali payag na!!"
Too defensive and bitter whenever being asked about love life! example:I don't need a bf right now.I can date and do anything I want!hmpf!"
Almost begged my friends to go out so that I wont get stucked at home!And always on the go once invited! (nanginginig pa sa pag OO!)
My phone is so quiet that the only one texting me is my network and saying "from globe:may pang -gas ka na! or From globe:baka ikaw na susunod na manalo ng 100,000 sali na!" di ba ang ganda?!
Since no sex life,I spend a lot of times browsing those gay porn sites and wank along the way!LOL
Most of the time, solo flight when going to the malls,events and parties.
Sleeping all day and awake at night.What a boring life!haha
Spending most weekends at home.Updated to all the TV shows and gossips and spending a lot of time watching DVD just to keep myself busy.
Desperate to find a copy of any romance book!haha.I finally decided to read "New Moon" but no luck its always out of stock!Waaa!
Todo emote sa mga love songs whenever hearing one at the radio!
I am ashamed of myself!Yesterday I overheard my dad and sister talking from my closed room about a cousin of my dad who suffered a stroke and died.Later that day I was at the county and I saw another distant cousin of my dad and I asked him "its too bad what happened to Jessie,where is the funeral wake?" and he was like "oh no,he died today?I have no news yet!"
When I reached home,I asked my sis "where did Jessie died?at their home or at the hospital?" and my sister was like "what?who said he's dead??!" Oh my god!What have I done! She said he only suffered a half body paralysis and in a bad shape right now but still alive.Sorry kuya Jessie!My bad!
My hunky neighbor just passed by riding a bike and he was shirtless.I mean I noticed this to most guys who goes to the gym,when they achieved those muscular built they were like "i will go roam around shirtless in the neighborhood.I'm macho man!" I mean what the Fck!Its OA for me!Before the gym thing you hardly see them like that.Do they have to flaunt it?whatever!
I don't know if it is just me or what!Why does everytime I look or using deodorant I cant help but think that those plastic bottles looks like a penis! haha I mean look at their shape for God's sake! And i was like rolling a d*ck's head at my underarm LOL!
Hay after a while I've been thinking whether to comply or not to the TAGGING made by Umleo (i hate chu) and Flamindevil(you chu hehe) last month. I visited other blogs that they tagged too and already made their part of the tagging I suddenly felt guilty since the two of them are nice to me (naks!) so now Im giving you 9 things true about me and one hoax.GUESS!
I was born and raised here in Laguna.I only have one sister who is now married.(in other word we are sisters LOL) I was so thin when I was growing up,I always wanted to gain weight.I ate a lot but still not getting extra pounds.Its have something to do with my metabolism,but when I reached 20 plus I started becoming fat that it bothers me already haha!But now I'm happy with my current body built.
When I graduated in college that's when I discovered gay sex,its like I'm having a sexual revolution.It was a lot of fun meeting and dating and fucking guys!I was like a sex machine way back then.All one night stands.Then after 2 or 3 years living a life like that,I got sick and tired of it.I searched for more meanings,I wanted more than sex,I want to experience love and be loved.Then they came.They go.They came again.But it was all worth it.I love being in a relationship,even if 50 percent of it are heartaches but I'm still looking forward to the other 50 percent of love,companionship's,friendships,and happiness it can give me.
I'm close to my mom than my dad.I miss her,she's in Dubai right now.When I start working abroad I'll ask her to quit her job and stay at home and I'll just send her money and be at the spa everyday!haha.She could have a manicure every hour if she like till it bleeds!LOL
One main reason why I'm so eager to work abroad is that I wanna prove something to myself,because I am 29 years old already turning 30 this May 20 by the way hehe,and I still haven't achieved anything yet.Yes I am successful at work,in fact I'm good at it,but in terms of financial stability,I don't have that.
I wanna save up so that I can buy my own house and lot.Me and my future special someone will live in that house and we will fill the walls and halls of semen I mean of love and laughter! I hope he's just somewhere and I know god will find a way for our paths to meet along the way.I can feel it.
When I was just a hospital intern I had this upset stomach and I have to unload and I had no choice but to run at SM North Edsa's CR haha.When I came out of the cubicle the people are like "ang baho naman!" deadma lang ako,paki ko taeng tae na e!"
I was on duty that time and this cute guy was transferred to ICU because of an attempted suicide (he took a chemical I forgot what it is already) because take not,his gf was breaking up with him!Shacks! And the nurses are giving him a bath to wash out some chemicals at his skin and I pretended to be a nurse so that I can participate in the bathing of that cute naked guy at the CR!He's hairy and OH my...gifted!Yummy!haha
I don't know how to punch anyone haha,Im not effem ok (defensive?haha) its just that I've never been to any serious fights before I mean,no physical matter involve, just pouring of some acid at the face!LOL! or just taking a number of hairs and with a little doll and some needle,and that's it!
In all my relationship I never tried sucking at least once!I don't know,I felt like I cant do it.They asked me to do it,but I just cant.I'm glad they didn't insist on me doing it or they just love me that much?Hmmm maybe hehe.
I was harassed twice while riding the bus going to work.Someone sat beside me and next thing I knew he's slowly touching my leg and moving at my genitals (well,I allowed it so technically it was consensual LOL) I don't know,it gave me a feeling of being lust about haha.Till he slipped his hands inside my pants and let him played my "patutut" but i never came because I'm about to reached the hospital so, sorry for him haha.The other one was when Im riding a van from festival mall alabang going back to laguna,and this guy touched the tip of my little finger,I was pretending to be asleep hehe.I allowed it,I wanna know how far he's at it.We were sitting at the back and there's only two of us left there and its so dark that no one will notice.Until he sucked me and I almost came.Unfortunately we reached the terminal.He's inviting me to a nearby motel but I refused.
So that's it guys! Its up to you to find out which one is the hoax! Good luck!I wont be tagging anyone so that I will receive good karma and no one will tag me again (?) so don't worry haha I will just cut off the curse for now LOL.
I'm on a bus again going to Makati ,have to submit some documents to my agency. As I was passing along Gil Puyat Avenue I remember that tragic day 2 years ago.I was on my way to a second day seminar on Neonatal Hands-On Care at the Philippine General Hospital when two guys sat beside me I was texting this guy that I'm supposed to meet after the seminar hehe,then I put the phone (A Nokia 6680) inside my Guess bag and look at view outside (ah,yun pala ang LRT,wow taas ng building...wow 'to pala maynila...)
Then suddenly a guy from my back,asked for my attention using a tip finger and said "hey hey you have dirt on your shirt!" and stupid me I worriedly looked at my back to see it.There was really some chalk-like substance at my shirt(of course I later found out that he's the one who put it there) and when I did that, the two guys beside me (who just recently sat there) without me knowing hurriedly and secretly took my phone inside my bag! Then the three of them went off the bus already before I could noticed that my phone is missing!
It took me like 2 minutes before I realized that something was wrong!Call it paranoia!I then searched for my phone inside but its not there!Waaa!I didn't know what to do at that time!I felt so helpless.I cant even see my wallet!Fortunately I found it at the far end of my seat,maybe they dropped it accidentally when I'm about to finish checking my back.There's still my money(*sigh*) I'm glad I have this habit of putting my money in different areas and not just inside a wallet(in case I loose it,I still have spare money).
There,my phone was stolen,I don't know where those thieves are now!I hope they are having their Karma already!I'm glad I saved all of our videos and pictures (some of them are shots of us kissing!) of my last bf at my computer!If ever that would be a great scandal for all I know I might be at you tube!haha.Atleast they didnt slit my Guess bag!I love that bag!LOL. I lost all of my friend's phone numbers and text mates!
I felt sorry for the guy I'm supposed to meet that day!I later found out that he came at our supposed meeting place after two days when he left a message at my friendster account.He was angry!haha. I was not at myself all along the seminar, I felt numb!Now I know the feeling of being robbed!haha.Coz before I was like "get over it already!buy a new one!"when I talk to my friends about loosing their phones.hehe
Then after two days after a lot of sermon and scolding and all from my mom at the phone from dubai (yabang yabang kasi!text ng text sa daan!sa bus!sa jeep!ayan napala mo!buti nga!mag alcatel ka nalang!!!!) my dad sent money to buy me a new phone!This time much better a Nokia N70!hahaha!He was at saudi that time.A little dramatics and voila!I have a new phone!hehe.
I'm still using that phone till now.I need an upgrade waaa!!!!
I was so busy the whole week!Been to manila and back!So tiring!Ive been completing my last sets of requirement for my application to work abroad.And today I went to my school at Biñan then went straight to Lipa city to my former hospital.I have to ask them to sign and fill up a verification form and be my reference for my employer.I asked our chief nurse,our HRD head and one co-lab employee to be that final three hehe and all of them are my friends so I manipulated and dictated all their statements and answers LOL!
I've been there like for 4 hours(may kasama na chika siyempre) completing all of it and putting them in an enclosed envelop take note,sign sealed and to be delivered to Qatar!hehe.As I was at the Nursing office,I saw some of the headnurse are at the computer and I got intrigued whats keeping them to it "the Nursing Board Exam results are in!" they said! and I was like "Oh really???let me butt in!haha and I took over to search for one name: Brian's.And I was like so nervous waiting for the page to load...
Brian have been denying that he took the exam last November,I've been bugging him about it,and still kept on lying,but me and Berna are so sure that he took the exam,but we play along with his dramatics.We just thought that maybe Brian was cautious so that if ever he fails we wont know about it. And then the page finally loaded the surnames starting with the letter "S" and OH MY GOD!!!!He passed!!!!Yipee!I've never been happy this much that my chest almost explode with excitement!I looked for my friend Sasha who was having an endorsement at that time and I said "He passed!Brian passed the exam!!!then I immediately texted Berna about it!Im so proud of him I know a lot of nurses who failed the exam 3 times already.
Brian met my two closest friend before a couples of time since we've been together for 8 months last year and I used to bring him at the hospital during my duties at night hehe we even made love to the laboratory room 2times!LOL! reminds me of Grey's Anatomy's Dr.Sloan and Dr.Torres hehe.Thats exciting though,you should try it,making out inside a hospital facility!haha
Then I remembered to text the man of the hour.Here was our text conversation.Sorry to bore you with this hehe:
Me: "Nakapasa ka pala sa board exam nakita ko ngayon!Hmmp!arte arte nito! Brian:"haha!Oo,thanks!Mwah." Me: "nag iinarte ka pa na di nag exam!Ang galing galing naman nakapasa ja!Im so proud of you! Brian: "haha hiya ako pag bumagsak e.." Me: "Arte mo talaga pati sakin nahihiya ka pa,I already told Berna and Sasha about it" Brian: "What did they said?Baka pwede mo na me i-apply jan sa hospital nyo? haha.Im so happy grabe!"
Then I said to him to pass his resume so that when they need someone his papers are already a top priority since Im cheek to cheek with the HRD hehe.Then an unexpected reply came:
Brian: "hehe..ikaw nga nung umalis ako deadma ka lang e.Kainis ka!..di ka man lang tumayo" Me: "Naartehan ako sau nung gabi e kaya tinamad na ko,dapat di pa kita pauwiin sana" Brian: "Naartehan ka ba talaga o nagselos?haha" Me: "Ngak!Kanino ako magseselos???(remember the call he received that night when he was staying at my room last tuesday night?thats what he's talkin about hehe) ayaw mo kasi magpahalik at makipag make love sakin kaya ako tinamad na..." Brian: "haha naku sayang nga e kung pinilit mo ako e di dapat..." Me: "hay naku magtigil ka tagal kita pinilit at sineduce hanggang mabuwisit na ko kakapakipot mo hmmmmpf!" Brian: "saya pa naman ng kuwentuhan natin nun.."
Now its 100% sure..he still cares for me.haha and he really wants me to lust about him thats why he's stalling me!And when Im typing another reply to his text then "it's message failed" I dont have any credits left!Putikkk!hahaha
Yey!Pinoy Fear Factor reached its finale!And Jommy won!Yey!!!! At first we thought Janna will be the winner because we've seen more of her than Jommy at ABS-CBN,I mean Janna was included in the recent Eva Fonda Soap,so it was a surprised knowing the result now!Too bad Manuel got elimated yesterday.The last challenge was so breath taking and Jommy just got lucky hehe.One lucky guy to win the 2 million pesos cash and a house and lot at Avida!Wow!
Meet my new boyfriend guys!Chase Crawford a.k.a Nate Archibald.He is not a relative of billy joe crawford ok!LOL.Im sooo in love with him I have this non-stop excitement every time I see him at gossip girl.X-OH-X-OH(kakahiya tanda ko na may gusto pa din ako sa kanya he's only 24 hehe but i cant refused his charms!) He's so cute and a hottie too!He is rumoured to be gay!And take note,they said that he and former N*sync guy JC Chasez are together!Wow I love him more!haha.Of course they denied it.But I don't care!
Hmm yummy
He stands 6'0" Oh lord so tall,i bet he had a big feet too,big feet means...big shoes!Right??!!!LOL.Hmm,I wonder why he and Carrie Underwood didn't last longer. I cant remember him at the movie "the covenant" Ive seen that movie a long time ago and I kept on thinking who was he at that film.I need to find another copy of that!(pirated kasi kaya di ko siguro nakilala haha)
The verification email I've been waiting for like 2 weeks now from my employer at Qatar finally came!Whew!I almost loose faith about it!haha.Thank God!I'm not a religious kind of guy but I do believe that there's a higher being up there.In fact I don't know what my religion is! LOL!.When I was a kid we used to go to masses and then my mom shifted to born again christian faith and I think I adopted some of their teachings.But I decided not to be either RC or born again na lang.Or maybe I'll put up a new religion of my own!But i put in R.C in my resume,I don't wanna waste time explaining about my religion,so if they saw R.C in there,no questions ask.
Like,I don't worships saints and images,I don't even know how to pray the rosary,the people that prays the rosary while riding the jeepneys or buses amazes me,I mean how could they concentrate on that!I don't do the "in the name of the father signs and everything when I pray.I just talk to him before I go to sleep.Talk to him like he was my friend.Sincerely.They say if you pray sincerely he will listen.You have to thank him for the blessings you have received for today.That's me being a good person!Convinced?Whatev!
My sister and mom might not believe that I pray,maybe because they don't see me doing it,to them I'm this "villain i don't care guy" in the family,the evil son! LOL.I don't want them to see me praying,maybe I'm embarrassed or something? whats wrong with me???haha.I haven't been inside a church or lectures of a minister for like 10 years now!The only reason Ive been inside a mass was when my sister got a church wedding.
The reason why I stopped reading the bible is that I find some (not all OK,just clearing it up) things in there that I cant accept,like God will punish the homosexuals?That we are not welcome in heaven?But what if that homosexual actually been a good person inspite of being a homo?I don't know,its just me hehe.
What I know is,don't do harm to anybody,live a good life,love one another(that's what orgy was about!LOL) and help the one in need,like if someone is looking for sex,you cannot let them suffer if they are so horny,right???Help them!
I looked at him while he snores like a pressure cooker on my bed..Brian,tsk tsk,what happend to us?I used to love you and you never failed to show how much you love me then...I always dreamt of this day to come,I imagine how'd it feels like when I'm with you again.I always thought that I want you again.But why don't I feel any of them now that you're here?I feel bored.I feel dead.Whats wrong with me?if someone is not with me,i misses them,when they're here,there's only boredom.
Its obvious that Brian wants us to start again.A restart.I read it between the lines.When I asked him why not make love to me,he said:"e di pag nakuha mo na ngayon..wala na!.."It seems like he didn't want to give it all to me tonight because once I get it all now,I might not be interested in him.Makes sense.An installment?haha.He wants me to court him again.I don't know,I don't feel like doing it.Whats wrong with me,I'm lonely being single and now the love of my life before is here and I feel nothing.Just lust? almost raped him earlier!
Before he slept we were talking about some stuffs about anything just like old friends catching up the times we lost when were apart.Its a nice conversation though.Then someone called him,I realized it was an UNLICALL,his suitor maybe?It annoyed me,I don't know if its jealousy or what.I told him "could you just talk to him outside this room!I cant concentrate on my readings!your whispering's annoying me".He came back 30minutes after.
"What time you'll be going tom?"I said it to hurt him,its my way of saying go home tomorrow.Because earlier my sister invited him for the whole week. He just answered "early..maybe 9 o'clock" and I replied "good,don't wake me up when you go".Then I ignored him,I just read and watched a movie at YouTube,until he started snoring.
I don't know if I'll wake him up to move to the airbed at the floor or what.Then I decided not to,I just lay down beside him and go to sleep.I'm not comfortable sleeping with someone beside me,that's a fact.Maybe he thought I'll hug him.No way after he refused making love to me?Manigas ka!LOL.It took me an hour maybe before finally got my sleep.
Morning: Brian:"Mac,I'm going.." (whispered near my ear) Me:"OK" Then I received a text from him in the afternoon"mac,thanks for the time last night" .I didn't reply.
My sister woke me up this afternoon and told me that Brian,my ex boyfriend,arrived and he's at our living room.I told her "im still sleepy" but she kept on banging my door for me to stand up and face my visitor.I had no choice but to rise from the bed one hour early than my alarm time.And there he was,after a year...Brian.Wearing a yellow polo shirt,sitting at our sofa.I dont know how many ex-bf I had I lost count already!haha maybe they're dead or what!(knock on wood!) I was told that my sister fetched him up at the terminal because he wasn't familiar with the place anymore(?)that he has been texting me for the last two hours but I was sound asleep haha!After he got tired of texting me,he texted my sister instead to wake me up.Im glad my sister did the fetching.I hate fetching!(It so happened that she have to withdraw some cash this afternoon,thats why she didn't bother to wake me up and picked up my demanding ex-bf!)
He could go anytime at our house,I mean he's been here for like a hundred times in our 8months relationship.He just wanted to feel special that's why he asked to be picked-up.Brian has always been like that,he wanted me to pick him up at the bus terminal and accompany him back when he's going back to manila(I accused him of pa-girl with this attitude).Most of the time I didn't oblige,then he'll get mad at me haha but I don't mind,whatever.
I asked him why he's here?he said "i missed your sis and your nephew' (and I just thought to my self :blah-blah-blah whatev) I know he missed me!hah! am I conceited or what?! haha.Me and Brian have been friends after we broke up,we've been texting once in awhile.Sometimes if I don't reply at his text right away he would say :what's taking you to reply so long?" and I was like..hmm,demanding?!But i would explain to him,i don't know why I did!
I could sense a little jealousy when he asked me how many boyfriend did I had since we broke up and I said "there's three" and he just said trying to hide the emotions with "ang galing ha!" he never had a bf after me,that it is his choice, "bf's are only giving me headaches"he added.He was a graduate of Nursing and waiting for his board exam result.He applied for a med rep position at Manila while waiting.
Then I asked him to put his bag inside my room,then he took a bath and I was like"hmmm,this reminds me of when were together and taking a bath was one of our rituals before making love...(devilish grin) hehehe and I was like thinking dirty while he's taking a bath,I hid the lube under the bed for easy access LOL!Then he borrowed my shorts and T-shirts and lay down my bed and turned on my TV.
Then I locked my room's door secretly and I went to bed with him and I hugged him from behind and started giving him feathery touches,he didn't resist and I was like Oh my he still likes me.Then I was about to kiss him and then he moved his mouth away,then I chased it and he moved away again and chased it again and finally catched his lips and I kissed him hungrily...I was about to insert my tongue inside when he breaks our kiss and said...
Brian: "stop,stop,I don't want this,were not together " Me:"so what?we could still kiss and have sex!" Brian: "I don't do SEB!" he snapped Me:"hahaha but this is not SEB!You knew me for a long time!" Brian:"whatever!I don't wanna have sex with someone who is not my bf" Me:"fine,then I'm your boyfriend tonight!"ha ha
And he was like furious that he realized that I only want to get laid tonight!ha ha which is the truth by the way!I don't feel the same way towards him anymore I mean there's still some memories of him and I still care for him but love?I don't think so.Maybe if we spend more time together the feelings might come back.But I noticed he is more ticklish now than before,he has never been with anyone for a year now he said.
He kept on refusing but I was persistent I kept on chasing his lips and grabbing his nipples and then he stopped fighting,finally he got carried away by my sweet lips and tongue LOL just like in the movies, he closed his eyes and hold my face while kissing him gently and I grabbed his undies and then he was on red alert again!he broke away from my kiss!ha ha.What a self control he had!Whew!
Then I snapped at him and said "what is your problem???" he said "we are not together,its not like before that you could kiss and make love to me anytime you want,we could just hug here at the bed instead" and I said "but why?I missed you and I want you now"(I sounded desperate) Then I tried to kiss his neck and shoulders and he loose the control again and allowed me for a minute and stoped me once again that's when I stop pursuing him anymore,I'm mad at him!I want to have sex!!!Waaaa!
"Ang arte mo!ewan!" I said and went to my computer and started to read my mails.
We ate dinner and pretend nothing happened so that my family wont see were fighting.When were watching TV at my room again and I was typing this post he said:
"come over here..." "Why..?"-me "just come here!" (with his hands inviting me to lay down beside him) "no."I said "hmp,now its you who's maarte!" "talaga!" "you'll sleep at the airbed" -I added
But now,I got so into reading some blogs and I realized he's snoring at my bed and I don't have the heart to wake the bastard to move to the airbed on the floor!Waaaa!
Since it was valentines day yesterday and it is all about hearts let me tell you a story about one of unforgettable patient we had at the hospital (haha see the connection?whatever!). I was at the ER waiting for some action because that day was a boring one,I was talking to a nurse when suddenly a tricycle stopped and the guard opened the door and there he is!The driver was shouting "help!help" and our female attendant was shocked and screamed at the sight of the patient she couldn't moved!and I froze too!I'm stunned!
The patient: a 40 something years old guy,a porter(kargador) at this 18 wheeler truck loaded with supplies to be delivered to manila and while resting,he lay down and sleep under the truck,and then someone asked the driver to moved the truck because they're blocking some driveway or something and without knowing his brother in law(the patient) was resting under the truck he moved the heavy vehicle and that's when it happened.The patient was rolled over already by the huge wheels before the driver could stop.Its too late.
This is the actual picture of him.I intentionally turned the photo to black and white.
The patient was inside the tricycle awake and he was sitting on the floor of the vehicle but what shocked all of us was from waist down,all bones are broken and muscles torn!when he was lifted the leg muscles and bones are falling from the stretcher and the only thing holding them together are his skin!Its like a piece of meat from the markets!It was like a scene at a movie!there actually smell of blood and fresh flesh all over the room!everyone was eyes wide opened!
Remember the movie "the ring"?where the ghost covered with hair on her face and going out from the TV screens using her arms to walk towards you?that's how he looks like inside that tricycle floor while our orderlies are trying to get him.And that image of him kept inside my mind till now.I cant forget it.Its so gory.I've seen patients being shot by a gun with all bloods and patients with tumors and patients with brains out but nothing can compare this.
I grabbed my camera phone and video shot shot this unique case.What really impressed us was that he's still alive and conscious but a little disoriented,he doesn't seem to know what really happened to him.He kept on rising from the bed and trying to get up.I tried to help the nurses cleaning him and preparing him to be directed at the OR.
Then after 8hours or more I got a call from OR that the patient will be needing my services for the mechanical ventilators at the ICU.Then we waited and there he was,survived the accident and operations.They cut off both legs from the groin area down.He's in incredible pain after the general anaesthesia faded away.He's screaming and saying names we cant understand.After a day he was transferred to a hospital in Manila.And we were told that he died after a few more days.
Farting is disgusting! Don't you think? I think there are 3 types of farts: 1.The Loud Fart 2.The Silent Fart and 3.The Fart either loud or silent but with added bonus: crap.LOL! My dad and uncles belongs to the Loud farting society! I get irritated when they're doing it while we were watching TV or at the living room,but I gotta admit it is harmless,I am only bothered by the sound of it and knowing that air came from your asshole!hehe and that they care less if we hear their farting or not! On the other hand though,I belong to the Silent fart society!You know the "deadly" kind!hahaha.This is the most disgusting ever I can't even stand my own fart!My 4 year old nephew and sister are on the same category! But what's really annoying is when you're on a closed room like an elevator,or inside a van and no one would admit who released that toxic gas!I mean you can stop it from exiting your holes but well,it will come out in your mouth LOL! I'm glad I never experienced the third type of fart anyway!Have you??Ewwwww!
(This is a nice way to divert your attention from V.day!hehe!)
I was checking out my friendster account when I saw an update at my ex-girlfriend Joana's new pictures..hmm so she's in Dubai now.That's good I thought to my self.At least everything is going well on her life,she has a job abroad plus her husband is with her and she seems happy.And I envy her somehow...
If she would ask me how am I?I don't know what to say to her.I'm still single,still in the Philippines.It sounds pityful compared to her life huhuhu.Until now she doesn't know about my true colors,that instead of blue I'm pink!LOL. We were together for 6 months and I must admit I loved her during those times even if I'm missing a man's embrace and kisses but I ignored that cravings for her.
There are times that some of my ex-boyfriends would call me and she's one hell of a jealous and possessive gf then and would interrogate me who's that and sometimes she's racing me to answer a call or a text and would see a guy's name and I was just freeze and say its a wrong sent message!hahaha.I changed all their names to girls name!Like if that guy is mark,ill replaced it with Marlene!hahaha.And later changed my Sim card!
Sex?hmm we almost did it technically but she backed out when I'm about to put it there hehe!She realized she might get pregnant and we don't have protection and I realized it too I dont wanna get married that soon!Alarming!Then I thought what would happen to the guy's kissing and embracing and fucking!!!!I'm glad we stopped!
My concern at first what if it didn't rise to the occasion?haha.But I really got a hard on when were having intimate moments together,thanks to the guys I'm with before I mastered the art of kissing and licking very well!And she would reached heaven and hell and back!But whats frustrating though,girls are so shy!She wont suck mine!She just love holding it and stroking it!
Anyway,before I get carried away I will stop na hehe.We separated after a long and frequent fights and I got sick and tired of it already.So we decided to end it finally.After that,I felt like I've been deprived of whats really for me!Then I met Mark.
I know you're curious about my answers.Well,me and my dad had a very long history of disagreements and fights.We have this big wall between us, its too late to break it now.Even if he's trying to reach out for me,I just can't restart all over it again with him.
I like to watch Variety shows.He gets mad at me.He wants me to watch NBA or PBA!
I like staying home and read magazines and all.He gets mad.He wants me to play with the boys outside.
He wants me to play ball.But I played my friend's balls.LOL
He yell at me.I yell at him.
He said fuck you.I said fuck you too.
He pushed me.I pushed him back.
Everyday was like hell for many years.
My mom,defended me.They fight.
They're separated now.
I left home.He checked me out,because my mom wanted him to.
I hate him so much then.I wanted to put him in an elderly home when he reached old age and will let him rot in hell.And not attend his funeral.
Many years had passed.He accepted my preferences.
But I forgave him.He changed a lot.
I see him everyday.He's just an ordinary person to me now.
Like a neighbor.Like a boarder at home.
He's nice too me now.But I can't be nice to him.
Its too deep.I can't forget it.
I can't eat dinner with him at the other side of the table.
I'll loose appetite.I eat at my room.
He asked something.I answer.Just One word.
I assessed my self.I'm not angry anymore.I just don't feel anything about him.
I'm sick and tired of telling people about my job,I am a respiratory therapist! but they don't know what it is !hahaha and they were like,what the hell is that?! Every time I'm chatting online or meeting some one on a date and they would ask about my job,they have no idea about it.Unless of course if you work on a hospital like me.
So i decided to give you guys an idea about the nature of my work,I searched some pictures so that you would have a much clearer understanding.I worked as an RT for 5 years at a tertiary hospital in the south.My course in college was B.S Respiratory Therapy.But i gotta admit,only few are getting this course we are not as popular as the PT's or the OT's and the Nurses,well maybe because this is not a glamorous job.
So here it is :
When a patient arrived at the ER and have a difficulty of breathing (nangingitim na kuko at mga kamay and lips) and all signs indicating that he needs an invasive help to breath (OR any patient confined at the hospital) we immediately do a procedure- intubation where-in the doctor will insert a tube into his mouth directly to his trachea(lalamunan) and lungs to breath.We are required to be there when they start to do this.We assist the doctor together with the duty nurse.I was the one responsible checking the air sounds if the doctor inserted the tube right.If I say "out" he will do it again until he's "in" hehe taray!
Code blue-this is the craziest time! If I'm on duty especially at night!(tanggal ang antok ko!haha).When they call our laboratory and say its a code blue humanda ka na!This is when a patient suddenly stops breathing or suffered a cardiac arrest.Everyone was like running here and there giving this and that medication and injections to make the heart beats again.What is my role?I am the one giving the CPR,the heart compressions(like you see on the pic,kapag napagod salitan kami ng doctor or headnurse) and sometimes using defibrillators.The staff included in a code blue are: the doctor,me(RT),head nurse,nurse,med tech,x-ray tech,midwife and an orderly.This usually takes 30minutes to 1 hour,and I gotta tell you its tiring you have to make that patient alive in 30minutes to an hour,if not,dedo na yun!
Once we revived the patient's heart,I have to rush to the ICU to prepare this machine:the mechanical Ventilator-responsible for breathing for the patient until he can completely breaths on his/her own.I have to set and manipulate this machine with the doctors orders on how many breaths it have to give and how much air does a patient needs including the alarm systems.
Then here it is,after checking if the machine is ready,I will hook the patient in its tubings and check again if there is an equal air going in and out of the lungs.If there are too much secretions(like plema or dugo)we need to suction it using a suction machine sometimes an entire bottle was filled with this secretions so kadiri talaga!Pero sanay na me!hehe.I can compare it to a Bavarian fillings hehe
Same procedure with the infants.Then we have to monitor these patients whether adult or babies every now and then and coordinate with the nurses.That's why the nurses are my best friends!hehe
we do check their tubings and conditions if they are comfortable and if they are ready to breath on their own,we asses and do some suggestions to the doctors.
This is a less invasive gadget,we call this the oxygen hood.That plastic container was sealed and oxygen are inside to help the baby breath.
This is the PFT machine,this procedure is sooo tiring for me and the patient! I takes 30minutes or more to be done!especially if the patient cant understand your instructions (they may be too old or too weak or deaf to follow! lagott)This machine measures your lung's capacity and functions.Most of our patients are those with complications due to smoking and those with asthma and patients who will undergo a surgery.
This is my favorite,I'm good in extracting blood from the artery. This is called arterial blood gas or ABG.This is really really painful!When we were just students,we are required to do this with our partners!Ang sakit nito waaa!According to my instructor we have to experience this so that we have an idea how painful it is so that we will be gentle to our future patients.
This is the most boring part of our job,the nebulization-this treatment is given to patients who have difficulty of breathing,the medicine inside release mist and absorbed by the lungs once you inhale it,dilating the airways and air sacs.I'm glad we have an assistant to do that job.In other hospital the nurses are the one doing this.
Whew!this is long haha.But those are only few important part of my work, there are more procedure and gadgets we use for the therapy/monitoring of the lungs,I'm afraid it will just bore you guys to death so I rather not talk about it anymore.I hope I gave you an idea of my exciting and tiring job.But I love this job.I hope I can work abroad na,wala pa ko visa!!tagal nman!hehe.
"He's sucking my nipple and I pretend that I'm enjoying it, that I'm feeling a great sensation.."
There's a lot of problem in the world today and I don't know if you will even care at all of my problem!Well aside for my mind,there's another abnormality going on with my body...my nipples.
"My nipples are useless.They don't feel anything when being suck.Like its paralyzed!I've got a paralyzed nipples!Imagine that!"
I don't know how the hell it happened,I don't know when it start to loose its life LOL!I think it needs a defibrillator or something to revived it.I just don't feel any freakin sensation no matter how good are they sucking my nipples...
"Pag suck nila to,feeling ko para lang suck nila kulugo ko...LOL"
I envy them,when I suck theirs, its like they don't know where to hold and its like they're drowning...so I just copy them and pretend I don't know what to do too hehe
A friend of mine is not talking to me,she's ignoring me,I texted her,i messaged her at Ym and still,"deadma".But I m supposed to be the one ignoring her!haha.What happened??? Here's why:
November 2008 during a chat at YM: Kat: Mac,I gave birth last week,a healthy baby boy,we named him "kal-el" Mac:Oh congratulations!that's great!but why the name? Kat:Why?whats wrong with it?we loved it,superman!
But in my mind,Ididn't like it,why in the world you'll name your kid like "Kal-el"?but i just kept quiet hehe.I don't know it sounds stupid,or maybe I just don't like it period.haha.Its like KAL short for "kal-kal" and EL short for "libog" hahahaha.and superman????mas ok pa ang Clark! Kat: I want you to be the godfather!(and I was like Oh no!godfather another "gastos" i thought so haha,but i liked the idea she's asking me,she really take me as a friend.) Mac: haha,see you here when you come home.(they are at Saudi that time) Then they came home.We chat at Ym again and she's inviting me to the christening,she didn't had the time to give me the invitation,but if I'm the "ninong" they should've gave me the invites already,i tried to understand that they're busy,and I was waiting for her to confirm if I'm the godfather.But none.I asked who are the godfathers?and she told me names and she didn't mentioned my sweet name! I just pretended that I don't mind at all.
But I cant kept my feelings about it and I just suddenly said it: "I thought I'm one of the godfathers?"and she said "Siya.Ninong ka!" and I thought to myself she just asked me because she detected a little sulking on my part! But its too late,I am sulking already!haha.I felt bad.I don't wanna be considered godfather just because she knew I'm sulking.I just felt that why did asked me last November and not actually getting me as godfather with the real thing?So I decided I will not come to the christening! "manigas siya"!
And now a week later,I asked her about the christening,if they had fun and all,I just pretended that I'm alright about the "ninong" thing so that she would not think its a big deal for me.Pride.But she's ignoring me.And my friend Shera told me that Kat felt bad that I didn't come to the event!Whattt!!Now its the opposite, instead I'm the one not talking to her,she's the one not talking to me!hahaha.Great!
Prepare yourselves,the following are pure ka-ek-kan and kakornihan hehe:
4:00 pm: I woke up today with a smile on my face when I look at my cellphone,he texted me,my so called future hehe.Lets call him JR.The one I was talking about yesterday.
JR :"gudam.my load na ko"( time: 7:00 am pa haha) Me:"Hi,I just woke up,how are you?" JR:"I'm ok,just came back,tagal mo magtext a..." (kilig naman ako meaning inaantay niya me!) Me:"kaw din naman di text a..."
I wasn't able to text him after,I ate my lunch and a neighbor asked me to do her resume,so I did.
JR: "text mo naman ako,nag load pa naman ako for you..." (may ganun talaga hirit,but made me smile) JR: "hey" JR: "hey" Me: "wait,mag unli lang muna me,I'll text once ok na." (without me knowing nag failed pala yun message ko sa knya haha.)
Then I saw him logging in at YM,he message me up
JR: "why are you not replying my texts?May iba ka na?" (demanding ,hmmm) I explained to him that I'm waiting for my unlimited confirmation text and that I'm doing a resume. JR: "OK,I'll wait till you're done" Me: "so how are you I missed you did you know that?hmm,you're taking me for granted a.." JR: "dinadramahan mo naman ako e hehe" Me: "but that's what I felt,got me thinking that you are not interested while I'm so into you"
JR :"imagine so much stressed from work,we have ADHOC this month,dinagdagan pa ng principal work namin"
Me: "asus you could text me naman while riding the bus or jeep." JR:'what's your blog URL again?"
I was a bit hesitant to give it to him he will see my entry about him!What the heck! JR: "is that me you're talking about????" Me:" hindi a! helloooo sino pa ba? e di ikaw nga!!" JR" I left a comment.the other comments are funny..I'll read more of your entries,wait"
Then looked at his comment on my blog and here it is: Jr... said...I'm interested with you but I've told you a couple of times that I have tons of paper works to accomplish...Maybe we should not rush on things...ehehe...lets get to know each other better baby... February 07, 2009 6:46 PM
Hmmm,baby daw...fair enough,ginawa pa kong makulit haha.
JR:" Now I'm impressed with your blog,are you done with the resume,i want us to chat freely. Me:"someone commented na macho ka daw ba?hehe" JR: "you already know the answer,I'm chub.." Me: "i don't mind.i like the way you are..." (reminds me of a song hehe) JR:"really???i hope you'll not use me like others did.." (i wonder what's he's talking about that)
Then we decided to chat on cam,to do a show LOL nah,just kidding we just talk haha.We are decent human being,maybe later bwahaha!
Till now while I'm writing this,nag uusap pa din kami.Hope this will be for good,but I'm not expecting anything yet,lets see what the future holds.We just have to give ourselves time to know each other more.
Hayy I'm bored...i was chatting at this silly gay site and I don't find it interesting anymore,maybe because I think I finally found him...my future bf haha.But I don't know,he's not making "Paramdam" lately,we started right last week,we chat,he called me at night using unlicalls we talked for hours,we text,but lately there's none.He works at Manila and he's a grade school teacher.Maybe he's busy...but i want him to text me!Waaaaa!
Is this some kind of game?Is he waiting and see if how much I'm interested in him,waiting for me to do the initiative?but I'm waiting for him too hahaha.I wanna know how much he wanted me,I don't wanna be a fool to rush in and I wanna be sure if he really really likes me.Expecting is my worst enemy and might leave me disappointed in the end.So I guess were both playing the "game".
I can't believe that one of my favorite songs from high school was Ocean Deep!!! uhuhu nakakadiri talaga just by remembering it now~!!!! I accidentally listened to it now when i turned on the radio and that was the song currently playing, Im so in love with it then!Waaaa!!! I immediately look for anything else,like Nothings Gonna Change My Love For You LOL.I remember my old friend Roel used to tease me by singing that song.ahaha
I accidentally dropped my contact lens at the sink today and I was so worried if I didn't got it sooner I might not be able to buy a new one!I called my dad to help me look for it I didn't know where it went haha I'm so stupid until my sister came and all three of us are looking for a tiny soft transparent plastic at the kitchen and we looked so funny if only were not in that situation I might have laughed so loudly!
This is the price I have to pay for having my eyes so blurry!I think its my fault that I have my sight so messed up,I am near sighted.I have a grade of 275 and 325.When I was 12 or 13 years old I thought that having eyeglasses was so cool,they look so smart and different,so to my stupidity I look for ways to make my mom buy me an eyeglasses,of course first of all you shouldn't have a clear visions.
Then I started to read with lights off using only candles,I watched televisions so near I did that secretly,then it paid off I cant read whats at the board during classes!My teacher needed to put me in front of the class instead.Then I started to experience headaches frequently.My mom took me to the doctor then to the psychiatrist -kidding! of course to the ophthalmologist!
I started with the grade of 150 then six months later a grade of 200 increasing every year!Waaa!That's my punishment!huhu.I'm glad it stopped at 275 and 325 now!Its so funny looking back through my photos way back then,the glasses I wore are so yuckie!I look like MacArthur (the "I shall return guy at our history books!")
I'm glad I've discovered wearing contact lenses in college and its like freedom to my eyes!It saves me lot of troubles from work.You already know the hassles of wearing glasses.But wearing contacts are troublesome too at first,I mean you need to be careful putting and taking it off and cleaning it,and the rinsing solutions are expensive too!(there are cheaper ones but not that effective) but the comfort and the confidence it gave me,the best!
I was sitting on the bus at the isle side and I was about to take a nap when I was interrupted by a very disgusting smell...bad breath! Someone yawned I think its from the people at my back and the air con brought it to me! Yuckie ang baho! its like a dead chicken!A rotten dead chicken(I'm not exaggerating I really smelled it) This is the problem with my nose,having an allergic rhinitis for 3 years now my sense of smell got really really sensitive!
Then I look outside the window and the guy sitting beside me (he's the one at the window side) yawn and Dear Lord he's the culprit!He was the source of that dead chicken smell!!!! Its not the guys at my back it was the guy beside me! Ewww.Mukha pa naman siya sosyalero hehe,and I think he's gay too he might have blown someone and forgot to have a mouthwash or brush his teeth!LOL And he yawns frequently and not covering his mouth!!! I even got paranoid that what if its me? I discreetly catch my breath at a hanky and inhaled it back but its not really me!Its him!
So how would you know if you have bad breath?
smell your own breath using your both hands -if you die then its positive!
asked your closest friend or family - does my breath stinks?yes!I just stop breathing when you're talking!LOL
if people are avoiding you when you speak
try using a dental floss and smell it after -and eat the "tinga" sayang!
if the color of your breath is green means its toxic LOL
To learn more about bad breath or halitosis click here. Sometimes bad breath is just a bad breath due to the food you ate or dryness of the mouth or if you're travelling for hours and didn't talk to anyone be sure to bring a mint candy or mentos (promotion pa!) to avoid killing someone or drink water frequently.Mouthwash and dental floss are recommend daily.Lastly have a visit to your dentist (baka puro butas na ngipin nyo!)
But sometimes bad breath have a bigger underlying conditions,like sinus infection and digestive system problems.
I felt good today,finally I had the chance to get out of my cage! I've been inside our house for a whole freakin week.Now I had an excuse: submitting my NBI clearance to my agency at Makati, after it was authenticated by the Qatar Embassy which I paid 385 pesos by the way(just for a small stamp!).This is necessary for them to know if I killed any ex-boyfriend I had in the past LOL.
Riding the jeepney going to the bus terminal I saw a face that I never expected to see!It was Ronn! shetttt! My super-dooper-I'm all-over-you-first-love way back from college!(hmmm let me count how many years was that already...1999...2001...oh my god!Eight years ago!!!! He have this dirty look,you know the moustache and beard that he never trimmed,and the hair "literally looking like an ermitanyo hehe" I had a hard time recognizing him for a minute.He looks like a drunk father from the streets of Tondo!He never changed a thing about his personality,he has this habit of going out of the house wearing his "basahan" looks!
He was wearing this t-shirt that the sleeves that I don't know where fell off,it has a lot of holes in it and the cloth was so faded and thin evident that that shirt needed to be dumped,that thing he was wearing had no match to the ones wearing by the beggars on the street!(mas ayos pa damit nila sa kanya!waaa!) I could feel it that he was uncomfortable me seeing him like that,maybe he thought" shett why now of all days he have to see me and with me wearing thisss!Mac will be laughing his brains out with this sight!" I know him so much,in and out!I could read his mind (psychic???)
Which by the way really made me laughing inside hehehe "Its like OH my god Ronn you look ridiculous! and I believed I smiled for a bit and I suppressed that immediately.I still have those memories of us together inside of me (may kabinet dun e) and he occupied a large storage area in it...lots and lots of folders of memories that if I need to read again will all be available...thats the impact he had on me...
We were best friend,(i know its so gasgas na) I believed we were more than that...I could feel it and I know he felt it too during those two years together in the same classroom.he's just too coward to face it..to accept it...he was in denial of his sexuality...of him being in love with a guy.That scared him.That made him go away from me and courted a girl just to prove his masculinity.hayyy those were the days....I will tell you more about that "tragic" story of my first love in the coming days.
Until he have to get off the jeep,its their house already....(I've been inside that house and his room so many times then..).and all through out the 10 minutes being in the same jeep facing each other and trying to avoid each other's eyes to meet was like forever!I almost got a stiff neck!I just pretended that I was busy texting and I'm glad I'm wearing my shades today!
Maybe if I'm like this then,I mean being how confident I am about my sexuality now being a gay guy maybe "wala siya kawala!" haha it sounded like a title of an evil movie!LOL Our time now was so different then,seems gays are like having this sexual revolution!Well maybe,we had a shot then,I was so convinced then that he was my soul mate if you ever believe in that crap hehe,I still do now,he's just too chicken to realize it till now!
Oh my Lord! This was my reaction when my 4 year old nephew suddenly screamed like a girl while playing with his cousin!hahaha and my dad immediately approached and scolded him in a not so serious tone and said "why are you screaming???are you a girl huh?!only gays screamed like that!" and i was just smiling and told myself: maybe its really in the genes! LOL
When I go to sleep later I will pray real hard to our lord Jesus Christ that please don't make my cute nephew gay!haha but seriously If I have a choice and start my life again I would like to be straight,not that I didn't like being bi or gay,I already know how to lead my life in the best way i can but being like this is complicated and I don't want my nephew to experience the same way I did growing up,you know,the teasing,the feeling of being left out,the feeling of indifference and all.
Maybe we're just being too paranoid,maybe he will grow u straight in the end though hehe.And if ever...only if...we will just support and love him no matter what.
My life is brilliant...yeah!you heard me right hehe.Imagine I will wake up 4 in the afternoon and then I will eat my lunch/meryenda then watch Jimmy Neutron and Sponge bob with my four year old nephew then take a bath at 5:30 then open my computer at 6:00 pm then eat dinner at 8:00pm then watch Pinoy fear Factor at my room while chatting at those silly gay sites.
Then after watching it I will start blogging ang read and read and eat my meryenda at 2am and browse anything in the net till 5 or 6 in the morning then I'll go to bed.Then I will do the same thing again and again.I'm a certified Internet addict waaaa!Oh by the way i have a different schedule every other day,I watch porn!
How pathetic is that?????!!!!hahahaha this is the life of a regular original bum.My only diversion from all of this before was dating my boyfriend twice a week and now I have nothing!I need my visa na oh dear Lord please save me from this misery... :-)
Did you ever experienced after hearing a certain song or music that you love and it still kept on playing inside your mind even after many hours have passed?It is called "last-song syndrome!haha Its happening to me after watching Slumdog Millionaire!That song in the end where they are playing the credits and Jamal and Latika are dancing in it!
I swear to God I even know the steps already!Im dancing inside the bathroom,while walking towards the dining table and my sister was like "what the hell are you doing??" and I would just sing "jai ho!jai ho! aja..aja..aja...!" hahaha I'm having a Baliwood fever!!!!(I don't know if I spell it right)
watch it here guys.To see how addictive this song is.(sorry this is the best copy I could come up with.The good qualities are copyrighted and I need to request from the owner to have one.
I was at the mall today after I paid my credit card bill (which by the way is so maxxed out!haha) I was just walking,strolling,window shopping and feasting to the cute guys I see...then I realized I am the perfect example of the regular-original-classic-single-gay guy in the country!The only consolation I have is that I know I'm not alone haha I know a lot of homos out there who are exactly like me today!LOL
