September 28, 2011
I was checking my Facebook and saw a familiar name on my friend's status update, where he made a comment, it was Erwin. I was excited seeing his photos or what happened to him after college. That's why I love these social networking sites, you get to see a lot of old friends. I had an erection remembering him nyahaha!
I cannot forget this guy because, his d*ck was the first thing I've seen when I was in college!
Well, let me take you back ten years ago...
It was P.E class, swimming, we were at this resort at Sta.Rosa, all of us guys went there to attend and turned out the class was postponed due to typhoon, but we all decided to stay and have a swim. We had the pool area just for us, no girls. (except me?LOL! that they didn't know at the time)
We were at the poolside talking about something until suddenly, I don't know why on earth did the topic shifted from something wholesome to sex...and pubic hair!
JP, a shy and reserved guy at school, was teased to show his pubes, he was reluctant at first, they teased him as coward and to our surprised, he pulled down his short and showed us a large portion of his pubic hair minus his dick haha. Taena! ke-lago-lago ng bulbol ng hayop! lol
In my mind, oh my god, I am so enjoying this moment!LOL! L na L na ko buhol palang ni Jp yun ha!
Chuck, on the other hand, wanted attention too, he was at the water, he pulled down his shorts and undies all the way and threw it on us! we could still see his thick pubes even if he's on the water... mega habol ako ng tingin sa tubig...kita ko yun etits nya! shet! too bad I cannot see his d*ck clearly haha it was blurry!
Rey, took his shorts and hid it somewhere he had to chase him with his hand covering his manhood and the other on his asshole while running! it was hilarious seeing his dark butt!
Until its Erwin's moment, he likes to brag. He said "wanna see mine?" the guys teased him: Sige nga pakita mo titi mo...
I was nervous and anticipating on one corner and praying: "pls dear lord! show it to me.. I beg you!!!"
He stood infront of us and pulled down his shorts and revealed the monster inside...his pubes were just right....and his dick...its brownish...its head...pinkish...he was starting to have an erection and I could see it growing slowly and pulsating...I swear it was so mesmerizing!
I don't know for how long I've been staring at this guy's dick! Mygosh! buking na buking ako!LOl
I looked around and I think everyone was on it too! Lahat kami paminta?ewan ko! mukhang ako lang naman hahaha.
I wanna touch it, grab it, and kiss it... but I cannot, I am still at the closet at that time. That sight haunted me for a week haha. But Erwin didn't stop there, on our next class, we were all at the shower room together ....his body was covered with foam from the soap he's using when he started masturbating in front of us using the soap as lube!
I simply stared at him while others are laughing and yelling how perverted he was. He didn't mind, he continued until he came! I saw how high and how far it went on LOL! I forgot how many days I wanked in my room with him on my imagination!
After that, whenever I talk to him, I cannot see his face, all I see is his penis! Toinks!
(this is a repost guys from May last year)
September 24, 2011
I've been bullied since I was a young kid. I was 9 years old when other kids started teasing me about me being gay. They called me names. Teased me. They humiliated me in front of other kids.
It was tough. Kids could be mean and heartless you know.
It made me cry. Made me angry. I was confused. I don't know why I'm different. Why I can't blend in with other boys. Instead I found comfort in the company of girls.
My sister was the one usually defending my honor (honor daw oh! charot!LOL). I know for a fact that I was brave fighting girls but not boys. You know catfight...chos!
With boys I have no strength...I was defenseless...didn't know then that in the future I would also be no match with boys breaking my heart... and the sad part is...they're also gay like me! *sigh*
Didn't know why I love chinese garter. Why I love paper dolls... or why I hated boyscout and camping and jamboree and sports...yeah sports!!! specially basketball!!!
My dad even pushed me to join other kids play balls. But I just can't! I can't I told him. And I remembered how my dad used to hurt me with words....words that would cut deep inside my soul.
It took me a while before I could honestly forgive my father for all the emotional pain he had given me.
It took me a while before I could finally accept that i can't do anything about the teasing and the bullying of other young kids. I was a weakling.
This is the part that I learned how to be numb and to not care anymore. It lessen the pain...I guess...
I kept it all inside and dealt it myself...I never told anyone...who would help me, anyway?
This is the part that I played deaf...blind...and insensitive. But there are times that they could still get to me. Still cutting inside me...sometimes no matter how hard you tried to ignore it, but the pain was too great that you cannot let it pass easily...
I was at the school playground after class with my sister on the bike and this kid 2 years older than me annoyingly teased me about being gay and all... I was really trying to ignore him and my sister was defending me once again and he said something that really really pissed me off... I just couldn't control my self...
I said words at him to hurt him back...and he said words to hurt me back more... mas masakit kapag pagkatao mo na ang tinitira e...I don't know. Maybe young gay kids are really sensitive to be teased with being gay at that time, or its just me? I don't know.
I left my bike and walked towards him with clenched fist and I punched him straight at his left eye...
He was in so much pain that he was unable to move or speak anything while holding his other eye...
I myself was in pain too for punching him. I didn't know that it will hurt this bad too. But inside me...I was feeling damn proud. I didn't know how to punch till that day!
yeah I'm the man!
I went back to my bike and told my sister to go. We saw the kid recovering from my POWER PUNCH and running towards me... He wanted revenge!
"Go! Go! Go! let's run! " I told my sister. I'm on a panic. My heart was beating like crazy!
"bilisan mo! ayan na siya kuya!" my sister screamed in horror.
The kid pulled me out of my bike and punched me in the eye too! I was hurt real bad that I was feeling numb. It was so painful. I cried! yeah I cried!
I was not able to fight back. I had no strength at all. The kid run as fast as he could after. My sister threatened him that she will call our cousins and get back at him.
Once again, my sister defended me. She helped me stand up and get back at my bike.
Yeah I was a weakling...
Fuckin' memories! hahaha!
I still see that kid from long time ago. We're still living on the same neighborhood. I've heard he's working on some low paying company in the county. Loser... look at me now!ganda ko! chos! may paghihiganting ganap?LOL
Anyway, have a great weekend guys :-)
September 16, 2011
I'm on a night shift and I just finished ordering our foods at Dairy Queen on the phone for our merienda later when I got a bleep...
"cardiac arrest at CCU! cardiac arrest at CCU! cardiac arrest at CCU!"
OMG! that's my area! I exclaimed.
My friends laughed and teased me: Goodluck! that's early! toxic king ka talaga!
I run as fast I as I can at the lift going to the 6th floor.
The nurses pointed me to the room 03 bed number 1 when I entered the ICU. Every one was there except me. Late lang. Ganyan. lol
"how long have u been doing CPR?" i asked.
"1o minutes now, brother" (call me sister, not brother! chos) they answered. Most of them are female nurses, so I helped with the resuscitation. Doing the chest compression was not easy. It will tire you off. So it would be helpful if there are many people to relieve you.
One and two and three and four and five... I was counting inside my mind while doing the CPR at an old lady with too much blood coming out of her mouth and nose. Too much that our bed became soaked with her blood.
I don't think she could make it. Too much complications on her case. But regardless, we'll do everything to save her. We have to follow the protocol.
Masakit na braso ko, so I asked for a reliever. I now do the bagging. (giving artificial ventilation using a valved bag for the airway) Mas madali toh e! LOL
I looked around. Most of the nurses are muslims. Two filipina. One indian and one egyptian doctors.
Everyone was serious. All busy with helping to revived this old lady's heart. I checked my watch. Its been 30 minutes now.
Nakakatense ang atmosphere...all i could hear was the monitors alarming...
Until my phone rang!
I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock...
wagas na wagas pa naman sa lakas ang tone ko! Nanlaki mata ko sa pagkabigla at panic.
I forgot to change my settings to silent!
I remembered something! it must be the delivery guy from Dairy Queen! I totally forgot about it!
Kakahiyaaaaaaa! Kung nasa ibang situation ako malamang everyone just laughed. But I am not.
Halos lahat pa naman kaharap ko e konserbatibo! LOL
Everyone looked at me As if telling me: cock? seriously brother??? Even the patients relatives are staring at me. Imagine!
Its impossible for me to answer the call. My hands are full of bloods and I am holding the big valved bag for breathing for the patient, so we speak. My hands are full!
And the guy kept on ringing me! Di makahalata na toxic ang beki!
I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock...
OK . Can I die now?!
September 12, 2011
They're my favorite gay couple of all time!
When ever I feel like getting tired of my single-ness, I just browse their websites...drooling over Tiggah's nakedness! and reading...yes i actually reads it! lol
and just by looking at their sweet and loving pictures...napapangiti nalang ako...I love their story, two filipino-american who fell inlove... how they became lovers from just being bestfriends. hayyy...kakainlove!
But their lives are not as perfect as other people think of.
Read this one:
Everyone Thinks We're Perfect
we’re not.. at this moment in time.. we are arguing.. will we be ok? yes. by tomorrow i know that things will be fine.. do i give a fuck what people think.. no.. i have drama like everyone else. we work through it.. he knows i love him.. things just get sticky at times.. sometimes you need drama to test what’s there. that’s when you know you love someone.. when you pass it with flying colors. when you get in some shit and things work out.. especially after 10 years.. i love you carlito. stop it with the petty shit. by now everything we argue about is petty shit. i love you. this love is real. you know it. now i wait for you to come to me and say… i love you too.
-- published thru pooh's tumbler account
If they could do it... I could do it!
I could find YOU too... (whoever you are! LOL)
Yun nga lang, I don't know when! hahaha
September 6, 2011
Mag aalas tres na ng madaling araw nang maisipan namin umuwi na. Mejo tipsy na si Mar kaya inawat na namin. Siya pa naman ang magda-drive pauwi. Kaya pa naman daw nya mag maneho nung tinanung namin siya.
Galing kami'ng tatlo sa pag gimik sa isang popular na local club dito. Ako, si kuya fred at si Mar. Humiwalay na sa amin ang mga girls. Iba maghahatid sa kanila. Nag enjoy kami masyado kaya inabot na kami ng umaga.
Nung una ayos pa naman kami bumabaybay sa maluwag na kalsada kasi halos wala ng sasakyan nun mga oras na yun. So ito'ng sira ulo nami'ng driver na si Mar e nag papaloko loko kunyari lasing lasingan at ginewang-gewang ang pagmamaneho ng sasakyan. Tinatakot nya ko kasi alam nya mag re-react ako.
Nasa back seat ako nakaupo.
Sinabihan ko siya na umayos at baka maaksidente kami...wala pa kong bf at ayoko pa mamatay biro ko pa.
Nag red ang traffic lights kaya tumigil kami kahit wala naman iba sasakyan sa harapan namin...at habang nakatigil kami, huminto sa tapat ng kotse namin ang isang kulay dilaw na Hummer.
Nagbukas ng bintana ang arabito'ng sakay nito...
"Hey man! Are you drunk?!" sigaw nya.
Kinabahan ako ng slight muna. Ito naman si Mar nag astig-astigan.
"No man! I'm not. Are you?" napatawa ako nun sinabi nya yun.
"What? You are drunk! You're not supposed to drive!" Sagot ng ibang lahi sa amin. Lalo siya napikon kay Mar. Alam namin na hindi lasing si Mar. Nagloloko lang siya kanina. Nakainom siya pero kaya pa nya.
"Nag uwi ka ba ng resibo ng mga alak na ininom natin?" tanong sa kin ni kuya fred. Kinapa ko ang bulsa ko kung meron ba akong naisilid. Pero wala! Putek!!!!
Dito kasi, bawal bumili at uminom ng alak kung wala ka permit. At kung gigimik ka naman sa mga bars at club dapat inuuwi ko resibo para ebidensya sa mga pagkakataon na masita ng pulis or ng awtoridad.
Kaso nga wala! wala! wala akong naiuwi! Kasi naman ilang beses na kami na gimik at di naman nangyayari ito. Malaysia ko ba na nanganganib kami tonight!
Kinabahan ako. Pulis ba tong mokong na to?
"Mar, isara mo na bintana, wag mo na patulan" payo ni kuya fred. Siya ang pinakamatanda sa aming tatlo.
Nag green na ang traffic light at nag Go na kami. Dineadma ni Mar yun naka Hummer.
Pero sinusundan pala nya kami.
Busina ng busina sa likuran namin. Walang tigil. Gusto nya mag pull over kami sa tabi.
"Ihinto mo na Mar...baka lalo tayo mapahamak" sabi ko.
"Hindi pulis yan e di sana may badge siya pinakita! nagpa-ti-trip lang yan" sagot ni kuya fred.
Mas lalo pa binilisan ni Mar ang takbo namin. Lumilipad na kami sa daan. Napapamura na ko sa takot!
Pero andun pa din yun yellow na sasakyan. Hindi siya nasuko.
Gumawa ng paraan si Mar na makaliko sa isang kanto at hindi nya kami napansin. Nakahinga kami ng maluwag nun mailigaw namin siya...
Pero yun ang akala namin...
Pagliko namin muli sa isang eskinita, taena halos banggain nya yun puwitan ng kotse namin. Nung maabutan nya kaming muli.
"Mar, sino ba yun? bakit siya humahabol sa tin?" halos paiyak ko nang tanong sa knya. Alam ko kinakabahan na din yun dalawang kaibigan ko pero hindi sila umiimik.
Walang tigil na harurot at busina ang ginagawa'ng paghabol sa amin. Tumatalbog kami sa kada humps na madaanan namin.
Kung anong bilis ng takbo namin ay siya din bilis ng nasa likuran naming malaking sasakyan. Iniisip ko na kung ano maaring mangyari sa amin. Its either makulong kami kung pulis nga siya...or mabugbog kung isa siya'ng tripper or sira ulo.
Nagdadasal na ko ng mga oras na ito.
Hindi ako makapaniwala na nangyayari ito. Sa pelikula ko lang napapanood ang ganitong eksena. Nakakaloka na nangyayari sa amin ito ngayon. Parang isang panaginip lang.
Malapit na kami sa building namin. Sabi ni Mar, hindi na yan makakasunod sa tin kapag nasa parking na tayo at sa loob ng accommodation building natin.
Mabilis pa din ang takbo namin. Nun papaliko na kami sa loob ng undeground parking sumayad at kumiskis ang tagiliran ng sasakyan ni Mar sa pader.
Lumikha ito ng malakas at nakari-rinding ingay.
Nakakangilo...Nagtakip ako ng tenga ko.
Napalabas ang security guard at mga by-standers nung dis oras na yun ng gabi. Lahat sila nagtataka.
At tama nga sabi nila kuya. Hindi nakasunod sa loob yun hayuf na Hummer. Ipinark ni Mar ang kotse sa gilid....
Pero maya maya may naglalakad na malaking arabo na palapit sa amin.
Iisa ang hula namin. Siya yun driver ng dilaw na hummer!!!
"kuya, anong gagawin natin? papalapit na siya..." tanong ko sa mga kasama ko.
"wag ka lalabas. kahit anong mangyari..." si kuya fred.
Nakakatakot ang itsura nung driver. Hindi ko matiyak kung anong lahi siya. Arabic ang features ng mukha nya.
Kinakatok nya ang side ni Mar na siya'ng nagmamaneho.
"Open the fucking door! Im police! get out of the car!" hiyaw nya. Nung marinig ko yun word na police lalo na ko natakot!
Parang lalabas ang puso ko sa lakas ng tibok nito.
Nakita ko na papalapit na din sa amin yun 2 namin security guard sa building. At mga apat pang lalake na nakatira din sa building namin. Puro kami empleyado ng hospital dito. Kahit papano nakakabanaag ako ng relief na may mga makakaramay kami kapag may ginawa'ng hindi maganda ang impaktong ito! LOL
Nagbukas na ng bintana si Mar: "whats your problem man?" sagot nya.
"Why you did not stop? I asked you to stop. You run! I'm police!"
"You chased us! You did not say you're police! and....What's your problem?!" si Mar ulet.
Kundi lang sa nakakatakot na sitwasyon namin, gusto ko mapatawa ng malakas sa "whats your problem" na dialogue ni Mar! Parang tanga lang!
Napikon yun driver at hinila ang kuwelyo ni Mar mula sa bintana ng kotse! halos mapasigaw ako sa takot!
"whats your problem?!" yun na naman tanong ni Mar!
This time, lumapit na yun security at mga tambay...nakisali na sila...napakalma ng konti yun humabol sa amin.
"I'm police! I will get my ID wait here!" sagot nya nun hinihingan ng ID or anything nun mga tao.Lumakad siya palayo sa amin at bumalik ata sa sasakyan nya kasi hindi namin tanaw mula sa kinalalagyan namin.
Saka lang kami bumaba ng kotse. Feeling ko ligtas na kami sa company ng mga kasamahan namin sa hospital kahit pa ibang lahi din sila.
Ikunuwento ni kuya fred at Mar ang nangyari. At sinabi nung egyptian security guards namin na umakyat na daw kami at magpahinga. Hindi na daw yun babalik malamang. Huwag na daw muna kami bumaba ngayon gabi incase na bumalik yun.
Saka lang nawala neybiyos ko nung makapasok na ko sa flat ko. Nagpasalamat nalang ako sa diyos na ligtas kami nakauwi.
Whew! What a night!!!
Yun nga lang malaki gagastusin ni Mar sa pagpapaayos sa napakalaking gasgas sa tagiliran ng kotse nya!
September 5, 2011
"You're amazing and I love you, but I'm not waiting forever, so if you want me in your life, tell me before I give up on you and move on."
Those words came from a tweet by @TheNotebook whom I've been following for some time now. I don't know but this guy tweets everything that i could really-really relate to! as if he knew me. He can summarized my feelings in one sentence! damn!
September 1, 2011
Hindi naman lihim sa lahat na madami na ko pinagdaanan pagdating sa pakikipagrelasyon. Marami ang naging saksi kung pano nag umpisa at nag wakas ang bawat kabanata ng lovelife ko dito.
Minsan napapaisip ako...Ano kaya kung mas inunawa ko sila? or mas sinikap ko pa'ng maging mapagbigay? Kung mas binuksan ko ang puso ko sa kanila? Siguro, baka meron na kong masasabing isang matatag na relasyon ngayon.
Aaminin ko. Masyado akong naging maramot sa pagmamahal... Dati kasi feeling ko, pag mas ipinakita ko ang pagmamahal ko, feeling ko talo ako...baka isipin dead na dead na ko sa kanya...kahit minsan yun naman ang totoo.
Laging nakatanim sa isip ko, mas mabuti muna makita ko'ng mas mahal niya ako kesa makita nya'ng mas mahal ko siya.
Masyado din ako proud. Iniisip ko kasi. Madali ko siya mapapalitan. Madali lang ako makakahanap ng mas higit pa. Kaya sa konting fault na makita ko. Mayabang akong nakikipag kalas.
Impulsive ako. Yan ang madalas nila sinasabi.
Mayroon naman na pinagsisihan ko sa bandang huli at humingi ng second chance...pero mukhang parusa ng tadhana...madalas rejected ako. Tatlo lang ang hiningan ko ng pangalawang pagkakataon sa dinami-dami ng mga lalake sa buhay ko! Oo...pokpok ako dati! chos!
Sobrang sakit at pag sisisi ang binigay nila sa kin...hindi ako swerte sa second chance. Hindi ko naman sila masisi...kasi ako naman ang nauna makipagkalas. Ako ang nagmatigas noon. Gantihan?
Madami ako natutunan sa pakikipagrelasyon ko...sa bawat taong nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na makilala at mahalin...laging may iniiwan itong aral at pagmumulat sa pagkatao ko. Mas higit ko nakikilala ang sarili ko...kung ano ang kahinaan ko. Kung saan ako dapat mag umpisa muli. So that history won't repeat itself...
Para san ba ang post na ito? Wala lang hahaha...nag iinarte na naman sa mga WHAT IF's na tumatakbo sa isip ko...
Isa lang ako sa karamihan... maaring nakakasalamuha mo sa araw araw...sa dami ng tao mapapansin mo ba ako?
What if...sa tinagal tagal ng paghahanap ko...andyan ka lang pala...malapit sa akin.
Wala lang.. mumuni-muni moment lang :-)